We begin by exploring Alfred Hitchcock’s “Psycho”, the psychological thriller, by providing various perspectives and interpretations that can better enhance your exploration of the film’s resilience and understanding of mental illness.

Robert Bloch’s Psycho, published in 1959 by Simon and Schuster, uses a real-life case of Ed Gein, the so-called “butcher of Plainfield”, a gruesome slaying in a small town in Wisconsin, as inspiration to write this novel.  Robert was genuinely able to tap into the minds of readers with Psycho. 

Paramount Studio refused to finance the making of this film; Hitchcock made the movie with his own money in 1960, even mortgaging his house to do so. Then film critics like Bosley Crowther damned it with faint praise, writing that “Hitchcock is an old hand at frightening people.

Pauline Kael, in 1978, complained about it as a borderline case of immorality because of the director’s cheerful complicity with the killer, having had a sadistic glee during the shower scene. 

Even though it was a flop with the critics, Hitchcock made a fortune from it, leaving him joyfully screaming to the bank. 

However, he had an excellent rave review from Andrew Sarris, who called Hitchcock “the most daring avant-garde filmmaker in America today.”

Psycho, directed by Alfred Hitchcock, continues to captivate audiences with its masterful storytelling and chilling portrayal of human nature and mental illness. 

Psycho lands on the list of the greatest horror films ever made. The film centres around Marion Crane, a young woman who steals $40,000 worth of real-estate deposit money from her employer and drives from Phoenix to Fairvale, California, to start a new life with her lover Sam Loomis, only to find herself at the eerie Bates Motel by mistake. 

Hitchcock uses the time for her to marinate in her feelings of guilt and shame and her total inability to mask it around strangers. As the plot unfolds, Marion’s encounter with the timid Norman Bates, the motel’s owner, reveals a disturbing glimpse into his fractured psyche.

One of the most powerful aspects of “Psycho” is its exploration of dissociative identity disorder, commonly known as a multiple personality disorder.  Through Norman Bates’ character, Hitchcock delves deep into the complexities of this mental illness, blurring the lines between reality and illusion.

However, Norman Bates can also be seen as exhibiting characteristics of both psychopathy and dissociative identity disorder. Although it is suggested that Norman suffers from dissociative identity disorder, it is the psychopathic tendencies that become evident through his actions, such as his ability to manipulate others and his lack of empathy. 

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Whose father, Atticus Finch, defends an African-American accused of raping a white woman. Through the lens of Scout's innocent perspective, we witness the deeply ingrained racism and the unfair treatment African Americans faced during that time.

The novel highlights the unjust treatment of a person of colour individuals experienced within the legal system, the ingrained biases held by many white people, and the consequences of these attitudes on the lives of marginalized communities.

It sheds light on the destructive impact of racism and the importance of challenging societal norms to fight for justice and equality.

In the current period, characterized by nuanced intersectionalism, To Kill a Mockingbird remains relevant as it addresses racial injustice from a historical perspective.

One prominent example is the character of Bob Ewell, who embodies pure malevolence and represents the dark side of humanity.

Ewell, fuelled by hatred and racism, falsely accuses Tom Robinson, an African-American man, of rape. He intentionally seeks to destroy an innocent man's life simply because of his prejudices.

The townspeople unquestioningly support and believe Ewell's accusations despite the lack of evidence against Tom Robinson. 

Furthermore, the character of Mayella Ewell, Bob Ewell's daughter, participates in the false accusation against Tom Robinson. 

While her actions are influenced by fear and coercion from her father, her willingness to harm another person to protect herself and her family reflects the dark side of human nature.

The novel also sheds light on societal expectations and gender roles. Scout defies traditional gender norms by rejecting femininity and embracing her tomboyish nature. Her refusal to conform challenges prevailing notions about being a girl in Southern society during that period.

When analysing the novel through an intersectional lens, it becomes evident that issues of race, gender, class, and power dynamics are interwoven. To Kill a Mockingbird remains an extraordinary work that resonates with readers across generations. Harper Lee's searing portrayal of racism, empathy, and loss of innocence forces us to confront uncomfortable truths about our own society.

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It's a simple yet profound principle that can revolutionise how we handle our daily struggles.

In this lesson, we'll unravel the layers of this Stoic wisdom, guiding you toward serenity in a world that often feels out of control.

Join us as we explore the roots, principles, and practical applications of the dichotomy of control and discover how this ancient philosophy remains strikingly relevant in our modern lives.

The dichotomy of control is derived from Stoic philosophy that distinguishes between things within our power and those without. It emphasises the importance of focusing our efforts and attention on what we can control and accepting what we cannot control.

According to the dichotomy of control, our thoughts, choices, and actions are within our control.

These are our internal states or virtues, such as judgment, desires, and values. We can choose how we respond to external events and circumstances.

On the other hand, external events and circumstances, such as the actions and behaviours of others, the weather, or natural disasters, are considered to be beyond our control.

These are referred to as external or indifferent things. According to the dichotomy of control, we should not place our happiness or well-being on things outside our control, as they are uncertain and can easily change.

The dichotomy of control encourages individuals to focus on developing their character, virtues, and wisdom, as these are within their power. By accepting what we cannot control and directing our efforts towards what we can control, we can find inner peace, freedom, and resilience in the face of adversity.

In psychology today, the dichotomy of control is often employed in cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) and other therapeutic approaches. By helping individuals recognise and differentiate between what is within their control and what is not, therapists aim to empower their clients to make positive changes in their lives and develop resilience in the face of adversity.

The principle says that peace of mind comes from focusing on and acting upon things within our control, like our beliefs, judgments, and actions. It also means accepting and letting go of things not in our power, like the actions and opinions of others.

Therefore, according to the Enchiridion (Handbook). Stoics thought there were only two things we had direct control over voluntary actions and how we think about things.  Therefore, considering, Epictetus famously reasoned that people are disturbed not by events but by their judgments about their circumstances.

It is important to note that the dichotomy of control does not imply that individuals should completely ignore or disregard external circumstances or factors beyond their control. Instead, it emphasises the need to focus on what can be influenced and to develop a mindset that promotes acceptance and resilience in dealing with the uncontrollable aspects of life.

Introduction to the Dichotomy of Control

Key Takeaways

The Stoic Dichotomy of Control (DOC) distinguishes between what is within our control (opinions, motivations, desires, aversions, and actions) and what is not (body, property, reputation, office).

Epictetus, a Stoic philosopher, articulates the Dichotomy of Control, emphasising the importance of focusing on what we can control.

The Dichotomy of Control provides a practical framework for problem-solving by dividing situations into segments we can maintain and cannot.

The Dichotomy of Control has been adapted for modern times by William B. Irvine, who proposed a Trichotomy of Control.

The Dichotomy of Control offers timeless wisdom and can be applied to everyday life, helping us navigate challenges and cultivate serenity.

The following book under discussion received critical acclaim regardless of the controversy it caused with the public during that period; Lolita was considered one of Time's Best 100 Novels. However, to declare it was addressing hebephilia is sugar coating the subject. 

Hebephilia is a term used in psychology to describe a sexual interest or attraction towards individuals in the early stages of puberty, typically ranging from around 11 to 14 years old. It is considered a form of paraphilia, which refers to atypical sexual interests or preferences.

It is important to note that hebephilia is not a widely agreed-upon or officially recognised psychiatric diagnosis. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), which is the standard classification manual used by mental health professionals, omits hebephilia as a separate diagnosis. Instead, it categorises paraphiliac disorders under the overall category of "other specified paraphilic disorder" or "unspecified paraphilic disorder".

Arguably the most controversial novel of the 20th century, Vanity Fair called it the only convincing love story of our century.

Lolita explores the relationship between an unsettling yet intelligent paedophile and his young nymphet as their lives become increasingly intertwined over five years.

The story follows Humbert, a middle-aged man who becomes infatuated with his young stepdaughter, Dolores Haze, whom he calls Lolita. 

Nabokov's masterful storytelling weaves together themes of love, desire, and morality in a way that captivates and disturbs readers. 

One of the most striking elements of "Lolita" is Nabokov's use of language. His prose is simultaneously lyrical and disturbing, creating a sense of unease that permeates the entire novel.

The stream-of-consciousness narration allows readers to delve deep into Humbert's twisted mind, experiencing his obsessive thoughts and justifications first-hand. 

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Today, we have a closer look at Fake News. The Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Spectrum and a book reflecting the counterculture movement and challenges the traditional values, institutionalisation and incarceration in the 1960s.

Can you guess what it is?

Propaganda has historically shaped public opinion by disseminating information or ideas to promote a particular agenda and ideology. It often involves emotional appeals, censorship, and distorted presentation of facts.

Propaganda often involves:

• Deliberately disseminating information or ideas to promote a particular agenda or viewpoint.
• Using emotional appeals.
• Censorship.
• Selective presentation of facts to control public perception.

Today, fake news continues to manipulate public opinion.

Fake news is often compelling because it taps into people’s emotions and pre-existing beliefs. It plays on people’s fears, biases, and desires, making it easier for them to be swayed and believe in the false information presented.

Some evidence suggests that instilling a new positive belief is more effective than rescinding an existing belief in correcting false beliefs. This is because humans tend to hold on to their beliefs, even if proven wrong.

By introducing a new positive belief, individuals may be more inclined to accept the correction as it aligns with their need for cognitive consistency.

Therefore, instilling a new positive belief may be a potentially more effective method for correcting false beliefs. 

Fake news continues to manipulate public opinion today by tapping into those emotions and pre-existing beliefs.

Previous examples include Pizzagate, which manufactured ‘news’ that Hillary Clinton ran a child-sex ring, or the Bowling Green Massacre.

Even saying Pope Francis endorsed Donald Trump for president, and the list continues.

We had previously considered Annie Wilkes's behaviour in the psychological horror film “Misery”. Was there evidence pointing to her alleged anxiety disorder?

Organising a collection of porcelain figurines alone is not enough to diagnose someone with either an obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

While both disorders involve obsessive thoughts or behaviours, there are distinct differences between them, which are available in the training section of mentalhealthtraining.info for your perusal.

For example, individuals who have Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) are preoccupied with orderliness, perfectionism, and control.

However, organising a collection of figurines alone does not necessarily indicate obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD), as many people enjoy organising and arranging their possessions without it causing significant distress or impairing their daily functioning.

Cameron Diaz told Good Housekeeping magazine she is a “neat freak” who has to have everything in its place. 

This is in contrast to the retired soccer player David Beckham, who said in a Netflix documentary he must have everything in “perfect symmetry” and spends hours cleaning the house after his family has gone to bed.

Within obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) individuals may exhibit a strong need for order, perfectionism, and rigid adherence to rules or schedules. They may feel distressed if their environment is disorganised or chaotic.

Learn More Understanding Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: A Comprehensive Guide

Idolatry, infatuation, and erotomania are terms used to describe different types of intense feelings or obsessions towards someone or something. 

Here’s a brief explanation of each:

1.  Idolatry: Idolatry refers to the worship or excessive admiration of an idol or deity. It is often associated with religious or spiritual beliefs and involves the belief that the idol or deity is sacred and deserving of devotion. In this context, idolatry can include rituals, prayers, or offering sacrifices to the idol or deity.

2. Infatuation: Infatuation is an intense and often short-lived passion or attraction towards someone or something. Intense and overwhelming feelings of affection, desire, or fascination characterise it. Infatuation can be based on physical appearance, superficial qualities, or idealized perceptions of the person or object of infatuation. It is typically not rooted in deep emotional connection or long-term commitment.

3. Erotomania: Erotomania is a rare psychological disorder characterised by an individual’s delusion of another person, often of higher social status, being deeply in love with them. Individuals experiencing erotomania firmly believe that their love interest is reciprocating their feelings despite little or no evidence. This condition is also known as De Clerambault’s syndrome and can lead to obsessive thoughts, stalking behaviours, or even harassment of the perceived love interest.

In summary, idolatry relates to worship or excessive admiration of a sacred object or deity; infatuation refers to intense but often short-lived passion or attraction towards someone or something, and erotomania is a delusional belief that another person is deeply in love with the individual experiencing the condition.

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But for additional groups such as communists and non-Aryans, the word was used in Germany to describe a future genius race and then later labelled by philosophers as Social Darwinism to justify their despicable acts. [cited: Mein Kampf]. 

Germany’s economic collapse in 1918 was attributed to a combination of factors. First, the military defeat in World War I played a significant role in Germany’s failure. The country had suffered heavy casualties, and the Allies imposed severe terms on Germany through the Treaty of Versailles, which included massive reparations payments and territorial losses. 

Hitler portrayed himself as a charismatic and assertive leader who could lead Germany back to victory and prosperity. His speeches were carefully crafted to instil loyalty and Idolatry among his followers—manipulation of the Media. They spread misinformation through newspapers, radio, and other media outlets, creating a distorted reality that further reinforced their narrative.

Hitler recognised the importance of indoctrinating youth to ensure the longevity of his ideology. Nazi propaganda infiltrated the education system, influencing textbooks and curricula to shape young minds following the regime’s beliefs.

Joseph Goebbels: The mastermind behind Hitler’s propaganda machine, before finally observing the demonisation and dehumanisation of Jews and scapegoating by portraying them as the cause of Germany’s problems. - hence the Holocaust. 

The second part of the previous article, Charlotte Brontë novel Jane Eyre, offers readers a captivating book that explores complex themes of love through the unconventional romance between Jane and Mr Rochester and challenges traditional notions of love and marriage—her choice of independence and emotional ambivalence only highlights the struggles by women’s in Victorian society.

Charlotte Brontë came from a strong religious background and incorporated biblical allusions and moral dilemmas into the narrative. You are left with many questions and points of reflection. It is not explicitly stated that Mr. Rochester married Bertha Mason for her money.

Mr. Rochester’s family arranged their marriage for financial gain, as Bertha came from a wealthy family in the West Indies. However, it is essential to note that Mr. Rochester was unaware of Bertha’s mental illness during their marriage. Once he discovered her condition, he felt trapped in their marriage and could not divorce her due to societal and legal constraints.

The discussion of Mr. Rochester’s motivation for marrying Bertha is open to interpretation, as the novel focuses more on Jane Eyre’s personal growth and journey.

Did Jane Eyre exhibit codependency traits, as she constantly seeks approval and validation from others and often sacrifices her own needs and desires to serve others, particularly Mr. Rochester?

On the other hand, Mr Rochester displays narcissistic tendencies with his inflated sense of ego, manipulating and controlling those around him, specifically Jane, for his own gratification. Whereas did Mr Rochester also display characteristics of the patriarchal system during this period, and such behaviour was considered the norm?

The power dynamics and toxic relationship between Jane and Rochester can reflect either echoism or codependency, allowing Mr Rochester’s narcissism to thrive as she enables his selfish behaviour and sacrifices her personal needs and desires. Thereby highlighting the complexities and challenges of their relationship.

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Photography was suggested as a tool for conveying emotion and channels for self-expression. Then, like a vision, I observed a review by Andrew Pettigrew, which combined both aspects together.

The premise of this work was a historical and cultural insight into the Second World War. It demonstrates the power of literature as a deadly weapon during combat, and a War correspondent is still present in any civil or military conflict today.

Hitler’s vision board was the little black book he used to plan and aspire for World domination. He recognised only too well that books could stir patriotic feelings, encourage resistance, and could either aid or hinder the War effort.

This was the time before the mobile phone, television, and the birth of the personal computer were nothing more than a twinkle in your grandfather’s eye.

Newspapers played a crucial role during the Second World War in information dissemination and shaping public opinion. They were powerful communication mediums, serving as the primary news source for the general population.

My late mother told me how her big sister would walk her to school. Ensuring she had all the essentials like her notebook, pencil case, lunch box containing jam sandwich and the compulsory Gas Mask before leaving the house.

I wonder what she would have thought about face covering during COVID-19; she probably had said, "I've seen it all before".

Meanwhile, the photograph of the bombed Holland House Library is particularly surreal. Amongst the devastation, there is hope. Are the suited gentlemen portraying the British stiff upper lip?

After all, the building could be replaced after the War, but the literature remains for those returning home from the frontline and trenches to admire. Even without words, it was able to shape public opinion.

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According to a 2018 report, 22 per cent of adults in the United States say they often or always feel lonely or socially isolated. Loneliness is a subjective experience—part of what makes it so hard to identify.

This article delves into the significant implications of loneliness on physical and mental health, shedding light on why it should no longer be underestimated or ignored.

Loneliness, often dismissed as an emotional state or fleeting feeling, is now gaining recognition for its profound impact on your health. Research has shown that prolonged loneliness increases the risk of developing depression.

Feeling alone for extended periods can lead to negative thoughts about oneself and the world around them. These thoughts may spiral into feelings of worthlessness or being unlovable, which are common symptoms associated with depression.

Beyond merely causing sadness and isolation, loneliness has been discovered to contribute to other health issues, ranging from cardiovascular problems to cognitive decline.

As our understanding deepens, acknowledging and addressing this widespread issue becomes increasingly essential to foster a healthier, productive society.

Loneliness can take many forms, including social, emotional, and existential.

Social Loneliness occurs when people feel isolated.

Emotional Loneliness occurs when people feel disconnected from others emotionally or lack meaningful relationships.

 Existential Loneliness occurs when people feel disconnected from a sense of purpose or meaning in life. For example, have you ever felt a profound connotation of loneliness even when surrounded by people? This feeling of existential loneliness is a unique and overwhelming experience that can significantly impact our overall well-being.

It is important to note that loneliness is different from Social Isolation.

Social isolation is when someone is physically separated from others., while loneliness refers to the emotional experience of feeling disconnected from others.

Regarding mental health, loneliness can lead to depression, anxiety, and other mental disorders. When individuals feel isolated and disconnected from others, it can negatively impact their self-esteem, sense of belonging, and overall well-being.

Being socially isolated carries much greater physical health risks, but loneliness has a larger impact on mental-health-related conditions. 

Loneliness has been associated with increased stress levels and inflammation in the body, making them more prone to infections. Still, inflammation that lasts too long increases the risk of chronic diseases, which can further exacerbate physical health conditions.

By the same token, lonely Individuals may experience cognitive decline and have an increased risk of developing dementia later in life.

The impacts of loneliness extend beyond the individual and can affect society.  

Somewhat counterintuitively, you withdraw further from society when you become lonely. This tends to go hand in hand with unhealthy behaviours. When we feel lonely, we often turn to coping mechanisms such as emotional eating, excessive alcohol consumption, or illicit drug abuse. It’s perhaps not surprising if you then become socially isolated, you’re likely to become more lonely. 

Then, to whet your appetite, I introduced you to some stars in this field of work. One example was the Yellow Wallpaper (1892). This was a personal view of a woman suffering from post-partum depression and the treatment that she received through a series of diary entries.

The woman’s condition deteriorates, but all the while, her illness is trivialised by the people around her, including her own husband, John, who also happens to be her doctor—inferring that the intent behind each type of literature is relevant in determining how mental health is portrayed. 

One of the most impactful aspects of literature is its ability to validate individual experiences. Society often stigmatises or misunderstands mental health conditions, leaving many people isolated by fear or ignorance and invalidated.

An emerging field known as bibliotherapy utilises books specifically chosen to address various psychological needs. Bibliotherapy involves guided reading recommended by professionals such as therapists or librarians who curate personalised book lists tailored to individual interests or concerns.

By engaging with literary works designed explicitly for healing purposes — whether it be self-help guides aimed at reducing stress levels like “The Relaxation Response” by Herbert Benson or memoirs depicting triumph over trauma like “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed — individuals can benefit from the therapeutic power of literature and enhance their well-being.

Likewise, a form of creative bibliotherapy has been observed in photography, and it has been suggested as a powerful tool for conveying emotion and channels for self-expression. Photography can be more than a hobby by addressing someone’s desires or issues like loneliness and anxiety.

The camera can capture the moment when you are physically in the moment during your mindfulness period or out in nature, forest bathing. 

The possibilities for this are endless: you can focus the lens and mind by engaging your senses and fully immersing yourself in the forest surroundings, from insects to animals down to the current Autumn colours or future spring and Summer blossoms. 

Remember to take deep breaths to inhale the natural aromas, listen to the sounds of the forest, and observe the rich colours and textures of the environment. Sounds absolutely idyllic.

Fiction or non-fiction literature, which one is best to learn about mental health?

When it comes to learning about mental health, both fiction and non-fiction literature can be valuable resources.

Non-fiction literature, such as self-help books and scientific research, provides factual information, explanations, and strategies for managing mental health problems.  They offer insights from professionals and individuals with personal experiences, providing a sense of credibility. 

On the other hand, fiction literature can offer a unique perspective on mental health by exploring characters’ inner thoughts and emotions. 

It allows readers to empathise and connect with the struggles and triumphs of fictional individuals, which can foster understanding and compassion. Fiction can also provide a safe space for readers to explore complex emotions and experiences that they may not be ready or able to confront in real life.

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Bibliotherapy is a therapeutic approach that uses literature to support mental health and wellbeing. It involves using books, poems, and other written materials to help individuals understand and cope with their emotions, thoughts, and behaviours.

Bibliotherapy can be used in various settings, including schools, libraries, hospitals, and therapy sessions. Words and images in literature and poetry connect us to the past, showing that others have faced and overcome similar experiences. This brings comfort and reassurance that difficult times will eventually pass.

The concept of bibliotherapy dates back to Ancient Greece, where reading was believed to heal the soul.

In the 20th century, bibliotherapy gained popularity as a form of psychotherapy, and today, it is recognized as a valuable tool for enhancing mental health and well-being.

There are different types of bibliotherapy, including self-help, guided, and creative bibliotherapy.

Self-help bibliotherapy involves reading books independently, while guided bibliotherapy involves working with a therapist or counsellor who recommends specific books.

Creative bibliotherapy involves using writing or other creative activities to explore one's emotions and thoughts.

Benefits of Bibliotherapy

Bibliotherapy has numerous benefits for individuals of all ages and backgrounds. Some of the key benefits include:

Enhancing mental health and wellbeing

Bibliotherapy can help individuals manage symptoms of anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions.

Reading can provide a sense of comfort and support, and it can also help individuals gain new insights into their emotions and behaviours.

Enhancing mental health and wellbeing

Reading can improve literacy skills and enhance communication skills, including expressing oneself effectively and understanding others' perspectives.

Fostering personal growth and self-awareness

Bibliotherapy can help individuals reflect on their own experiences and better understand themselves. It can also promote personal growth and self-awareness by encouraging individuals to explore their emotions and behaviours.

Applications of Bibliotherapy

Bibliotherapy can be used in various settings and for different purposes. Some of the key applications of bibliotherapy include:

Bibliotherapy for children and adolescents

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In recent years, literature has emerged as a powerful tool for exploring and shedding light on mental health experiences. Through relatable characters and thought-provoking narratives, texts and their emergence into film enable nonmedical individuals to gain insights into various mental health conditions and foster compassion.

In this post, we will delve into the world of mental health in non-fiction books dating back to the Roaring Twenties to the present time, discussing their significance and impact on readers today.

How knowledgeable are you about mental health portrayed in books and drama, then serialised into films?

Only to find the book is better than the movie.

Was the problem with the characters, or was the fine detail missing or misleading?

Mental health in literature has captivated readers for centuries. Authors have skilfully used their writing to delve into the intricacies of the human mind, with its storyline and cognitive complexities, to captivate the reader’s attention.

From the haunting pages of Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s “The Yellow Wallpaper” where the suffocating grip of her own post-partum depression psychosis is explored, the story is about a young woman, confined to her room and denied all creative outlets, who gradually suffers a mental breakdown. 

It is then followed by the modern-day masterpiece “Everything I Never Told You” by Celeste Ng, which unearths themes of grief and isolation. Literature offers a profound glimpse into the realm of mental health.

Through vibrant descriptions and vivid characterisations, these stories entertain and educate readers about the multifaceted nature of mental well-being. They give us a unique opportunity to peer into tormented minds, fostering empathy and understanding.

By giving voice to these experiences, literature plays an indispensable role in dismantling stigmas surrounding mental illness. It paves the way for crucial conversations that can cultivate greater awareness and support for those grappling with such challenges in real life.

Therefore, mental health in literature is both a reflective mirror showcasing our own struggles and a guiding light leading us towards compassion and healing.

The uncompassionate portrayals of characters in books and films

The uncompassionate portrayals of fictional characters have long been discussed within the literary world. While literature has undoubtedly played a crucial role in shedding light on mental health, there are instances where characters suffering from mental illnesses or emotional struggles are portrayed in an uncompassionate manner.

These portrayals can perpetuate stereotypes and further stigmatise individuals dealing with such challenges.

Authors need to approach these narratives with sensitivity and empathy, ensuring that readers gain a deeper understanding of the complexities surrounding mental health. 

By presenting well-rounded characters who are more than just their mental health issues, literature can contribute to breaking down barriers and fostering greater acceptance and support.

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The emotional impact of intrusive thoughts should not be overlooked. Heightened anxiety levels and constant worry about the disturbing content can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, or self-doubt. These intrusive thoughts may also trigger depressive symptoms such as sadness, hopelessness, or a loss of interest in once-enjoyable activities.

Moreover, intrusive thoughts can significantly affect your relationships with others. Out of fear that others will judge you based on your thoughts’ content, you may isolate yourself from social interactions. Interactions with loved ones may become strained as you struggle to explain why you are feeling distressed or preoccupied.

In light of this, seeking professional help is crucial when dealing with the impact of intrusive thoughts on your mental health. Mental health professionals can offer guidance and support through therapy techniques like cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) or exposure response prevention (ERP). With their assistance, you can develop coping mechanisms and strategies to reduce the frequency and intensity of these intrusions.

Remember that you are not alone in facing the impact of intrusive thoughts on your mental health. With proper support and treatment from professionals, it is possible to regain control over your mind and improve your overall well-being.

Let’s talk about intrusive thoughts and how they can affect our mental health.

Intrusive thoughts, a common phenomenon in the realm of mental health, have a profound impact on individuals’ well-being. These thoughts, which can be distressing and unwanted, often invade the mind unexpectedly, causing a significant disruption to one’s daily life. They may manifest as disturbing images, impulsive urges, or irrational fears, leading to heightened anxiety and distress. Intrusive thoughts can range from harmless to more severe, such as thoughts of violence or self-harm, and can be particularly distressing for those experiencing them. The constant bombardment of these intrusive thoughts can be exhausting, affecting concentration, sleep patterns, and overall mental stability. It is important to recognise that intrusive thoughts do not indicate any moral failing or character flaw, but rather highlight the human mind’s complex nature. Seeking professional help, such as therapy or counselling, can provide influential strategies for managing and minimising the impact of intrusive thoughts on mental health.

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Understanding Intrusive Thoughts

Understanding intrusive thoughts can be a perplexing endeavour. Often unwanted and distressing, these thoughts can sometimes burst into our minds. They may range from disturbing or violent images to reflections challenging moral values. Intrusive thoughts are not subjective of one’s character or desires but rather a common occurrence experienced by many individuals. They can be triggered by stress, anxiety, or even the random firing of neural circuits in the brain. It is important to note that having intrusive thoughts does not mean a person is mentally ill or dangerous. In fact, research suggests that the more we try to suppress these thoughts, the stronger and more persistent they become.

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Anxiety is a common emotion experienced by people of all ages, but have we misunderstood its impact on teenage girls?

In today's fast-paced, high-pressure world, it is essential to understand the unique challenges that young girls face.

This article aims to shed light on the misconceptions surrounding anxiety in teenage girls and explore ways to support their mental health better.

Over the past decade, the number of American children and teenagers admitted to children’s hospitals for reporting suicidal thoughts has more than doubled. Some have not received help in time; after declining for years, the suicide rate for 15-to-19-year-olds shot up between 2007 and 2015, increasing by 31% for boys and more than doubling for girls. 

Teenage anxiety in the post-COVID era has become more prevalent due to various factors. The pandemic has upended the lives of teenagers, disrupting their routines, social interactions, and education.

The uncertainty surrounding the virus, the fear of getting infected, and the constant changes in restrictions and guidelines have all contributed to heightened anxiety levels.

School psychologist Dr Lisa Damour frequently have girls seeking help for anxiety issues during a typical week. The University of Oxford's latest research found that social media is responsible for only a tiny portion of teenagers' unhappiness despite it often being blamed.

Lisa agrees with this research, stating that social media tends to magnify what is already occurring in their lives and is not a separate entity. In her new book, Under Pressure, Lisa Damour, a clinical psychologist and leading authority on teenage girls, argues that a certain level of stress and anxiety is typical and can have positive effects.

Being a professional working in a high-achieving private girls' school in Ohio and having her own practice, She observed that girls often discuss anxiety as a serious and lifelong condition. This realisation prompted her to write a book, as she noticed that almost every conversation she had at was centred around stress and anxiety in the past decade.

According to her, this phenomenon may be attributed to our cultural belief that negative emotions should be avoided and that relaxation and calm are highly valued. She believes that striving for constant peace and tranquillity is not necessarily beneficial, as it is unattainable and can result in disappointment and stress.

The author argues that the increasing use of quasi-medical diagnostic language can pathologise usual emotions, such as anxiety being used to describe nervousness and depression being used to express sadness. It was also noted that children are sometimes labelled as having "social anxiety" when they are shy in a culture that values extroversion.

She expresses a concern about reducing a broader range of emotional vocabulary. Educating teenagers about the distinction between positive and negative anxiety and healthy and unhealthy stress is occasionally necessary.

Genes are the segments of DNA that provide instructions for the development and functioning of our bodies. They determine our physical attributes, such as eye colour, height, and hair texture. However, genes also influence our behaviour and predispose us to certain conditions or tendencies.

 Studies at the world-leading Minnesota Center for Twin and Family Research suggest that many of our traits are more than 50% inherited, and that specific genes influence risk-taking behaviour. If you have inherited these genes, you may be more likely to engage in adventurous activities or take risks in your personal or professional life. Similarly, genes can influence our susceptibility to addiction, religion and politics, and our choices are much more determined by our genes than we think.

Some individuals may have a genetic predisposition to alcoholism or substance abuse, making it harder for them to resist the allure of these substances.

Even our mental health is influenced by our genes.  

Conditions like depression, anxiety, and schizophrenia have been linked to specific genetic variations. While genes alone do not determine whether we will develop these disorders, they can make us more vulnerable to their onset. This vulnerability and environmental factors can ultimately shape our mental health outcomes.

However, it is essential to note that genes are not the sole determinants of our behaviour or health. They interact with our environment and lifestyle choices to shape who we become. Genes provide the foundation, but our choices and experiences ultimately determine our destiny.

Understanding the role of genes in our lives can be empowering. 

It allows us to recognise that certain traits or tendencies are not entirely within our control. It also emphasises the importance of self-awareness and self-care. Understanding our genetic predispositions enables us to make informed decisions that promote our well-being.

Moreover, the field of epigenetics has shed light on how our lifestyle choices can influence the activity of our genes. While we may inherit specific genes, their expression can be modified through diet, exercise, stress management, and other lifestyle factors. This means that we have the power to alter the impact of our genes on our health and behaviour.

So, are we victims of our gene expression?

The belief that we are mere victims of our genes has long been a prevalent notion in our society. It suggests that our inherent genetic makeup fully determines our destiny, leaving us powerless to change or improve ourselves. However, recent scientific research has shed new light on this topic, challenging the idea of genetic determinism. 

While it is true that our genetic code plays a significant role in shaping who we are, it is not the sole dictator of our lives. Environmental factors, such as upbringing and experiences, also exert a powerful influence on our development. Our genes pencil in various options and our life experiences determine which get linked.

Moreover, the emerging field of epigenetics has revealed that various external stimuli can turn many inherited traits on and off, further debunking the notion of genetic predestination. This newfound understanding empowers us to take control of our own lives and make choices that can positively impact us and future generations. We are not simply victims of our genes; we can actively shape our destiny.

Exploring the Effects of Genetics and Stress on Mental Health

It goes beyond just being free from mental illness; it encompasses having good mental health and emotional resilience. A healthy mind is characterised by clarity of thought, the ability to manage stress effectively, and the capacity to maintain balanced emotions.

It involves cultivating positive habits such as regular exercise, proper nutrition, and quality sleep. Engaging in activities that stimulate the mind, such as reading or solving puzzles, can also contribute to a healthier mental state.

Additionally, fostering strong social connections and seeking support when needed are crucial aspects of maintaining a healthy mind. By prioritising our mental well-being and taking proactive steps to nurture our minds, we can lead more fulfilling lives and better navigate the complexities of today's world.

Emotional resilience

Emotional Resilience plays a vital role in maintaining a healthy mind. It allows us to bounce back from setbacks and adapt to changes with greater ease. Developing emotional resilience involves building skills such as self-awareness, self-regulation, and empathy.

It requires us to recognise and understand our emotions, manage them effectively, and have the ability to empathize with others. Cultivating emotional resilience can be achieved through various practices like mindfulness meditation, journaling, or seeking therapy. Additionally, creating a support system of trusted friends or family members who can provide emotional support during challenging times is crucial.

Building emotional resilience not only enhances our mental well-being but also helps us thrive in different aspects of life, including relationships and work. It allows us to approach difficulties with a positive mindset and find creative solutions to problems. So remember, maintaining a healthy mind goes beyond physical health; it requires nurturing our emotional well-being too.

Positive habits

Positive habits play a significant role in maintaining a healthy mind. They provide a foundation for overall mental well-being and contribute to a more balanced and fulfilling life. Adopting regular exercise as a habit not only benefits physical health but also has profound effects on the mind.

Physical activity releases endorphins, which are known to boost mood and reduce stress levels. It can also improve sleep quality, increase cognitive function, and enhance self-esteem.

Another vital habit is proper nutrition, as our brain needs essential nutrients to function optimally. Eating a balanced diet that includes fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats can support brain health and improve mental clarity.

Quality sleep is equally important for maintaining a healthy mind. It allows the brain to rest and recharge, facilitating better cognitive performance and emotional regulation during waking hours.

By adopting these positive habits into our daily routines, we can significantly contribute to our mental well-being and experience greater resilience in the face of challenges.

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Paranoid schizophrenia is a complex and often debilitating mental illness that affects approximately 0.5% of the population.

Portrayed by a combination of hallucinations, delusions, and disorganised thinking, it can drastically impact a person’s ability to function in daily life.

In this article, we delve into the essential aspects of paranoid schizophrenia, including its symptoms, causes, and available treatments.

The term “paranoid schizophrenia” is no longer used or recognised by experts. Instead, they tend to recognise schizophrenia as a specific disease in a spectrum of related conditions involving psychosis.

The American Psychiatric Association and the World Health Organization (WHO) removed paranoid schizophrenia from their respective diagnostic manuals in 2013.

Who does it affect?

Schizophrenia typically occurs at varying ages depending on biological sex, with no significant rate differences.

It commonly begins between ages 15 and 25 for individuals assigned male at birth and between 25 and 35 for those assigned female at birth. While rare, schizophrenia can also affect children; the condition tends to be more severe in these cases.

In infrequent instances, doctors may diagnose schizophrenia in someone under 13 years of age. This is called Childhood-onset schizophrenia (COS).

Less than 1 in 40,000 children get this diagnosis, according to a 2019 review. Because childhood-onset schizophrenia is so rare, it is not well understood and difficult to diagnose, and until 1980, autism was then called “childhood schizophrenia.”

Symptoms of Paranoid Schizophrenia

Positive signs – any change in behaviour or thoughts, such as hallucinations or delusions. 

1. Hallucinations: can involve the five sensory perceptions (Sight, Sound, Taste, Smell, or Touch) whose experience is not based on reality.  Auditory hallucinations, such as hearing voices, are the most common form of paranoid schizophrenia. These hallucinations can be distressing and may contribute to the formation of delusional belief.

2. Delusions: Individuals with paranoid schizophrenia experience persistent and irrational beliefs that are not based on truth. These delusions often involve themes of persecution, conspiracy, or grandiosity. 

They may believe people on TV or in newspaper articles are communicating messages to them alone. They may assume that there are hidden messages in the colours of cars passing on the street or find different meanings in everyday events or occurrences.

3. Paranoia: is characterised by a pattern of behaviour in which a person experiences distrust and suspicion towards others, leading them to act accordingly. Delusions and hallucinations are two symptoms that may involve paranoia. They may exhibit emotions of grandiosity, believing they have special powers or are destined for greatness.

4. Disorganised thinking: People with this condition often struggle with organising their thoughts and expressing themselves coherently. Some people need help concentrating and will drift from one idea to another. Their speech may be tangential, illogical, or contain invented words.

5. Social withdrawal: Due to their paranoid thoughts and disorganised thinking, individuals with paranoid schizophrenia may isolate themselves from social interactions, leading to a decline in personal relationships and overall functioning. However, becoming socially withdrawn and unresponsive or changing sleeping patterns can be mistaken for an adolescent “Life Phase”.

Negative symptoms experienced by people living with schizophrenia can include:

They do not want to look after themselves and their needs, such as not caring about personal hygiene. The negative symptoms of schizophrenia can often lead to relationship problems with friends and family, as they..............

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One such condition is agnosia, which disrupts somebody’s ability to recognise or interpret sensory information. Agnosia usually affects only a single information pathway in the brain. If you have this condition, you can still think, speak, and interact with the world.

While it may sound like a relatively simple concept, delving into the complexities of agnosia reveals a rich tapestry of mental processes and brain functions at work. In this article, we explore agnosia, unravelling its various forms and shedding light on what it truly means to grapple with this mysterious disorder.

Join us as we dig deeper into understanding how perception impairment can manifest in fascinating and perplexing ways.

Agnosia (in Greek gnosis- "not knowing") is a neurological condition in which a patient cannot recognise and identify objects, persons, or sounds using one or more of their senses despite their normally functioning senses.

Therefore, agnosia is a neurological disorder that affects a person’s ability to recognise and interpret sensory information. It can occur in various forms, each involving a different sensory modality. 

There are three main types of agnosia: visual, auditory, and tactile.

Let’s commence with a short summary of the different spectrums of agnosia:

1. Visual Agnosia: This is the most common form of agnosia and affects a person’s ability to recognise visually presented objects, faces, or shapes. They may still have intact vision, but their brain cannot correctly process and interpret visual information.

2.  Auditory Agnosia: This type of agnosia impacts a person’s ability to recognise and interpret sounds, such as speech or environmental noises. They may hear sounds but have difficulty understanding their meaning or distinguishing between those sounds.

3.  Tactile Agnosia: This form of agnosia affects a person’s sense of touch, making it challenging for them to recognise objects through touch alone. They may need help identifying shapes, textures, or temperatures through contact.

4.  Prosopagnosia: Also known as face blindness, prosopagnosia is a specific type of visual agnosia where individuals cannot recognise familiar faces, including those of family members or close friends. They may rely on other cues, such as voice or clothing, to identify people.

5.  Anosognosia: Anosognosia refers to a lack of awareness or recognition of one’s own illness or disability. This can occur in various neurological conditions, including agnosia itself. Individuals with anosognosia may deny or be unaware of their impairment, making it challenging to seek treatment or support.

It is important to note that agnosia can occur due to brain injuries or degenerative neurological conditions and can vary in severity. But 

stroke is the most common cause of aphasia. Treatment options may include rehabilitation therapy, adaptive strategies, and support from healthcare professionals.

Let’s now look at each situation in more detail. 

Visual Agnosia: Unravelling the Mystery of Impaired Object Recognition

Visual agnosia is a fascinating disorder that hinders an individual’s ability to recognise and identify objects they see. How our brain processes visual information helps us, from learning as children to seeing the world and interacting with our environments, throughout our lives.

Because of the ease with which we rely on these perceptual processes, we tend to overlook the complexity behind visual information processing. It is not related to any issues with vision or intelligence, but rather arises from a disruption in the higher level of visual processing we once took for granted.

Visual agnosia is a

One such condition is Alexithymia, also known as (AKA) emotional blindness. This fascinating yet little-known phenomenon profoundly affects one’s emotional well-being.

Unlocking the secrets of this mysterious condition is essential for gaining insight into the intricate mechanisms underlying our emotions and paving the way towards improved psychological health. 

The Origins and Definition of Alexithymia: We Hold the Key to Unravelling this Enigma.

Peter Emanuel Sifneos introduced into psychiatry the term alexithymia, published in 1972 was then viewed as a deficit in emotional awareness, but it also had origins in Freudian psychodynamic literature.

According to research, alexithymia is more common in males, with approximately 8% of men experiencing it compared to 2% of women. However, it is necessary to note that these numbers may not accurately reflect the true prevalence, as alexithymia often goes undiagnosed or unrecognised. 

Studies have also suggested the possibility of cross-cultural differences in alexithymia and found to be more elevated within rural areas relative to urban populations. 

In our relentless pursuit to understand the complexities of the human mind, we are often confronted with perplexing conditions that defy explanation. One such condition is Alexithymia, a captivating yet relatively unfamiliar phenomenon that profoundly impacts an individual’s emotional well-being.

To unlock the enigmatic nature of this condition is vital, as it provides us with invaluable insight into the intricate mechanisms that govern our emotions, leading to potential advancements in psychological health. This article now delves more into Alexithymia’s depths, definition, symptoms, and far-reaching consequences on individuals.

At its core, Alexithymia is characterised by an individual’s difficulty recognising, processing, and expressing emotions.

The word itself stems from the Greek words “a-lexis” meaning “lack of words” and “thymos” meaning “emotion” or “soul.”

This roughly denotes “no words for emotion.” Thereby, individuals with Alexithymia struggle to find the appropriate words to describe their internal emotional experiences, often leading to a sense of detachment and disconnection from their own particular feelings. The deficiency in emotional awareness can manifest in various ways, such as an inability to differentiate between physical sensations and emotions or a tendency to rely on external stimuli to understand their emotional state.

Such blunted emotional awareness can range from mild to severe, and is often associated with autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Regarding comorbidity, alexithymia is commonly associated with conditions such as depression, anxiety, trauma, schizophrenia, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and substance misuse, to name a few psychological disturbances.

It is important to note that alexithymia is not a mental illness but a personality trait or characteristic that individuals may possess. However, it can contribute to mental health challenges and should be addressed and treated as part of an individual’s overall well-being.

Relationships

The consequences of Alexithymia are far-reaching, impacting an individual’s emotional well-being, relationships, and overall quality of life. The inability to effectively communicate and understand one’s emotions can hinder the development of meaningful connections with others, leading to difficulties in forming and maintaining intimate relationships.

Similarly, the lack of emotional intimacy and depth in relationships affected by Alexithymia can hinder bonding and intimacy. Emotional connection is a vital aspect of any healthy relationship. When one or both partners struggle with identifying and expressing

Do you often find yourself lost in your thoughts, utterly detached from the present moment? If so, you’re not alone. This phenomenon is known as mind-wandering, a common occurrence for many people.

Here’s an article explaining everything you need to know about mind-wandering.

Mind wandering is associated with many appellations, and you may recognise the term as daydreaming, off-task thinking, spontaneous stimulus-independent thought, or even a task-unrelated thought.

It’s when our thoughts drift away from the task and wander into unrelated issues. Despite its negative connotation, recent research suggests that mind-wandering can positively and negatively affect our well-being, cognitive abilities, social interactions, and creativity. While your mind travels into the future or back to the past, you start to ruminate on past regrets or failures.

Deterrently, most of our musings are focused on the future rather than the past. Matt Killingsworth, then a doctoral student in 2010 at Harvard University, said our ancestors’ ability to imagine and plan for upcoming dangers must have been adaptive.

Today, it might help us plan for looming deadlines and sources of workplace conflict. His research showed that individuals' minds tended to wander 47 per cent of the time. Looking at everyday daily activities, including working, shopping and exercising, they found that individuals' minds had wandered the least during sex (10 per cent of the time) and the most during grooming activities (65 per cent of the time)—including taking a shower.

The shower appears especially prone to mind wandering because it requires relatively little thought compared to a skilled activity like cooking.  He then states, "A Wandering Mind Is an Unhappy Mind." Equally intriguing to researchers was the effect of mind wandering on somebody’s disposition: Overall, people were less happy when their minds wandered. 

The Mechanisms of Mind-Wandering: What Happens in the Brain?

The mechanisms of mind-wandering are complex and involve different areas of the brain. Scientists have found that when our minds wander, a default mode network (DMN) becomes active. This network consists of various regions in the brain, including the prefrontal cortex, posterior cingulate cortex, medial temporal lobe, and others.

Studies show that certain factors can affect activity level and coordination within DMN, leading to different types of mind-wandering experiences. 

For instance, stress, anxiety or fatigue may prompt negative thoughts during mind wandering, whereas positive mood states may lead to more positive thoughts. Switching between focused attention tasks like solving a maths problem or creative activities like writing lyrics has also been shown to change how DMN is activated.

To consolidate this information, the default mode network (DMN) is an active group of interconnected brain regions when you focus not on the outside world but on your inner thoughts, such as mind wandering and self-talk. When your brain is in its default mode, the DMN becomes more active, increasing self-referential thought processing and imagination.

The default mode network is necessary for mental processing, including decision-making, self-reflection, and creativity. Studies have shown that the DMN is always active, even when individuals are engaged in tasks that require full attention and focus. 

This constant activity suggests that the default mode network is the brain's default mode and cannot simply be switched off like your personal computer when it becomes inactive or idle. Rather, your brain is always engaged in some form of self-reflection, even when it is processing external stimuli.

Nevertheless, overactivity in the DMN has been linked to anxiety, depression, and other mental health disorders.

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Procrastination is the act of delaying or postponing tasks or activities that need to be done. It is the tendency to put off important or demanding tasks in favour of more pleasurable or easier ones.

It is a common trait many people struggle with, and research suggests that about 20% of individuals can be classified as procrastinators.

What exactly causes people to procrastinate?

Procrastination can be described as the gap between intention and action. It occurs when you intend to do something, but for some reason, you continuously put it off. It's important to note that procrastination involves actively delaying a task rather than simply letting it slide due to a long to-do list. Furthermore, procrastination often comes with negative emotions like anxiety and guilt.

Is procrastination laziness?

Procrastination is not necessarily being lazy. While it may seem like procrastinating is simply avoiding work or being lazy, there are usually underlying reasons why someone procrastinates.

Procrastination can result from different factors, such as fear of failure, lack of motivation or interest, feeling overwhelmed, perfectionism, or simply not knowing how to prioritise tasks effectively. It is meaningful to understand that procrastination is a behavioural pattern that can be overcome with conscious effort and strategies.

It is essential not to label oneself or others as lazy solely based on procrastination. Instead, it is more productive to identify the underlying reasons for procrastination and work towards finding solutions to manage it better.

Here are some strategies to overcome procrastination:

1. Break tasks into smaller, more manageable steps.

2. Use time management techniques like the Pomodoro Technique, where you work for a set amount of time and then take a short break.

3. Create a schedule or to-do list to help prioritise tasks and hold yourself accountable.

4. Find motivation by setting specific goals and rewards for completing tasks.

5. Eliminate distractions and create a dedicated workspace for focused work.

Remember, procrastination is a common challenge many face with apprehension and does not define your worth or capabilities. With determination and the right strategies, overcoming procrastination and improving productivity is possible.

As previously stated, procrastination is a trait that exists within all of us to some extent. It is correlated to conscientiousness, our sense of orderliness and dutifulness. People who are low in conscientiousness are more likely to be procrastinators. 

However, for most individuals, procrastination is not a significant problem. Often, we are too hard on ourselves for being procrastinators when the underlying issue may be the many deadlines we face today.

For example, many students exhibit procrastination tendencies in the context of college. College life is loaded with constant deadlines, evaluations, and overwhelming tasks competing for their time. However, it's necessary to differentiate between essential task management and true procrastination.

Dr Pychyl, a procrastination expert, emphasises the need to make this distinction. While deferring tasks can be a productive task management strategy, true procrastination involves actively expending mental energy to delay a chore, often due to irrational reasons. Procrastinators tend to rationalise their behaviour by blaming competing demands but fail to prioritise their activities effectively.

It is also worth noting that not all behaviours that resemble procrastination are actually procrastination. Depressed individuals, for example, often experience a lack of energy and motivation, causing them to appear as though they are procrastinating. However, in their case, procrastination is a symptom of their mental illness and must be approached differently.

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Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which an individual manipulates another person to doubt their own perceptions, feelings and thoughts, ultimately leading them to question their sanity and sense of reality.

Do you ever find yourself questioning your own memory, feelings, or sanity in your relationship?

Does your partner try to convince you that your thoughts and emotions are wrong or even ‘crazy’? If so, you may be a victim of gaslighting.

Gaslighting is a form of emotional and mental abuse that can occur in any relationship. It can leave the victim feeling confused, invalidated, and powerless. It’s a subtle manipulation tactic that can be difficult to recognise, but once you do, it’s important to know how to deal with it.

In this article, we’ll dive into gaslighting, how to identify it, and, most importantly, how to break free from it. If you’ve been feeling gaslit in your relationship, it’s time to regain control and start prioritizing your mental health and well-being.

Many of us struggle to identify gaslighting, let alone escape it. There are strategies to stop being subjected to it.

Gaslighting is an insidious, manipulative and reality-bending form of emotional abuse. Yet, when gaslighting is in our own relationships, many of us struggle to identify it, let alone escape it.

What are the red flags? How do you know if it’s happening? What does a gaslighting relationship look like? We hear these questions often. After working with countless couples across 30 years of clinical practice, one of us wrote a book and a recovery guide to offer answers and to help people navigate the gaslight effect in modern relationships.

Here are three examples of gaslighting:

One patient had a boyfriend who told her that she was responsible for their fights. She often responded with a hello to people who greeted her on the street, including men. This bothered her boyfriend, who asked her to look at the pavement when they took a walk, so she wouldn’t have to think about looking or not looking when men passed by. She sought therapy help because she said she “knew he was right” about this helping to reduce their fighting, but she wasn’t happy, just looking down at the pavement.

Another patient felt like she couldn’t think clearly any more. She loved her relationship with her girlfriend but felt she had no personal space. Her girlfriend said if my patient truly loved her, she would not need space for anyone else. My patient felt confused and wondered if this was love or something else.

A colleague said his wife had been criticizing him for wanting to visit his family in Europe. For the last few years, she has said, “They don’t take covid seriously. If they loved you, they would be more considerate. They don’t care about our health. They don’t really love you.” He was feeling helpless and belittled.

At first, he thought she was being mean with her comment that they didn’t love him. But, over time, listening to her certainty, he began to think that maybe she was right that his family did not love him and that he was being selfish for wanting to visit them.

Signs of gaslighting

These scenarios have one thing in common — one partner knew how they felt but was made to believe differently. One partner knew something was wrong but was told they were in the wrong. In each of these scenarios, there was a gaslightee — the victim — and the gaslighter — the perpetrator.

When it comes to gaslighting, perpetrators use jabs of shame, criticism, and conversation pivots to belittle the victim and reinstate their own sense of power and quest for control. By engaging with the perpetrator, the victim steps into a “gaslight tango,” giving over their reality to the perpetrator’s distortion.

Have you heard of Echoism? 

It’s a term that describes individuals who tend to repeat what others say to avoid conflict or assert their own opinions. In a world where narcissism often dominates our social media feeds, a lesser-known term offers a refreshing alternative: echoism, the other side of Narcissism

Echoism being the opposite of narcissism, and it describes people who prefer to remain in the background and pursue a quieter, more empathetic way of life. In this article, we’ll define echoism and how it differs from narcissism and fits in with other behaviours and relationships. Ulteriorly, how can you identify if you have echoistic tendencies?

What is Echoism?

Echoism is a term coined by psychotherapist Dr Craig Malkin, and it refers to individuals who prefer to remain in the background, avoid the spotlight, and prioritise others’ needs above their own. Echoists tend to have low self-esteem, struggle to assert themselves, and may even feel ashamed of taking up space in the world.

Echoists are not doormats but tend to be kind and supportive, but this doesn’t mean they are naïve or weak, with many being intelligent and successful and more than capable of getting cross if, for example, you make a fuss of them.

How is Echoism Different from Narcissism?

At the other end of the narcissism spectrum are what we call the echoists (named after the lovelorn nymph Echo, who fell for the self-adoring Narcissus in the original Greek myth), who struggled to feel superior and was afraid of seeming narcissistic in any way — so much so that they often suffer from anxiety and depression, and lose their voice. 

They can’t even see themselves through slightly rose-tinted glasses. Unlike narcissists who crave attention, admiration, and validation, echoists aim to avoid it. They often struggle to accept compliments, feel uncomfortable receiving gifts, and may even reject the help offered. 

They tend to expend their energy on others, and this imbalance of giving and receiving can leave them feeling depleted and resentful.

The story of Narcissus and Echo

Narcissists & Echoists, Get Their Names from Ancient Greek Mythology. 

Narcissus was the nymph who fell in love with his reflection, obsessing over it to the point that he neglected food and rest and died. But few of us know Echo’s tragic tale who was condemned to repeat the last words anyone uttered to her, and when she fell in love with Narcissus, she could sadly only echo him. Being rejected, she grieved and died.

Are You an Echoist?

Echoists are often people pleasers, and if the idea of being the centre of attention makes you uncomfortable, you may be an echoist. Echoism is sometimes considered the opposite of narcissism, but central to being an echoist is a fear of seeming narcissistic.

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Robert Burney coined the term "co-dependent" in the 1940s and defined it as someone who depends on another person to meet their emotional needs.

What is Hypertension?

Hypertension is a condition that occurs when the force of blood pushing against the walls of the arteries is consistently too high. Blood pressure is measured in two numbers - the systolic pressure (when the heart beats) and the diastolic pressure (when the heart is at rest). A normal blood pressure reading is typically around 120/80 mmHg. However, a reading consistently above 140/90 mmHg can be considered hypertensive and requires medical attention.

Hypertension is classified according to severity:

• Stage 1 hypertension — clinic blood pressure ranging from 140/90 mmHg to 159/99 mmHg and subsequent ABPM daytime average or HBPM average blood pressure ranging from 135/85 mmHg to 149/94 mmHg.
• Stage 2 hypertension — clinic blood pressure of 160/100 mmHg or higher but less than 180/120 mmHg and subsequent ABPM daytime average or HBPM average blood pressure of 150/95 mmHg or higher.
• Stage 3 or severe hypertension — clinic systolic blood pressure of 180 mmHg or higher or clinic diastolic blood pressure of 120 mmHg or higher.
• Accelerated (or malignant) hypertension is a severe increase in blood pressure to 180/120 mmHg or higher (and often over 220/120 mmHg) with signs of retinal haemorrhage and/or papilloedema (swelling of the optic nerve). 
•  Ambulatory blood pressure monitoring (ABPM) 
• Home blood pressure monitoring (HBPM)

Essential hypertension, or primary hypertension, is the most common type of high blood pressure. It means no specific underlying medical condition causing high blood pressure. Factors contributing to essential hypertension include genetics, lifestyle factors (such as diet and exercise), stress, and age.

Managing essential hypertension is important, as it can lead to serious health problems, such as heart disease and stroke. Treatment may include lifestyle changes, such as adopting a healthy diet, increasing physical activity, and medication to lower blood pressure. Regular check-ups with a healthcare provider are important for monitoring and managing essential hypertension.

Primary hypertension (which occurs in about 90% of people) has no identifiable cause.

Secondary hypertension (about 10% of people) has a known underlying cause, such as renal, endocrine, or vascular disorder or the use of certain drugs. 

Symptoms and Risks of Hypertension

Hypertension is often called the “silent killer” because it typically presents no noticeable symptoms. However, over time it can cause severe damage to the arteries, heart, brain, kidneys and eyes. Hypertension-related health problems include heart attacks, strokes, aneurysms, kidney failure, and vision loss. Hypertension is also a leading cause of dementia and cognitive impairment in the elderly.

Long-term effects of Hypertension

Hypertension affects a quarter of the adult population in the United Kingdom. It accounts for 60% of all strokes in the UK and half of all heart attacks, but because the condition is usually symptomless, most people have no idea they are at risk until it is too late. 

Hypertension and chronic pain

Hypertension and mental health

High blood pressure in young people may cause long-term brain issues.

Brain damage caused by Hypertension could contribute to dementia.

Hormones and Hypertension

Salt and Hypertension

Alcohol on hypertension

Managing Hypertension and Mental Health

Prevention and Treatment of Hypertension

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A new study by a King’s College London team confirms an association between psychological and physical health. People with mental illness age faster and die younger compared to their peers. 

The potential impact of illnesses like anxiety, depression and bipolar disorder on conditions like stroke, heart attack and cancer is often underestimated. The association exists across the spectrum, with the most powerful effects in those with more serious mental illnesses.

According to a review in 2018 by Public Health England, people with more severe mental illnesses die earlier than the rest of the population. Suicide remains the single most prominent cause of these premature deaths.

But around two-thirds are due to largely preventable physical conditions, including early heart attacks and strokes. Anyone under 75 who has ever had contact with NHS mental health services is likelier to suffer from poor physical health, including liver, lung, heart and cancer.

A combination of factors contributes to this relationship. Symptoms such as breast lumps and rectal bleeding may be missed or ignored while blood pressure readings go unchecked. Weight gain and unhealthy habits such as drinking, drug abuse and smoking become common as trips to the gym and healthy eating are not prioritised. Medication and the impact of mental illness on how individuals are investigated and treated also play a role.

People with serious mental illness may be up to three times more likely to have high blood pressure and twice as likely to be obese or have type 2 diabetes. All of which have profound implications for their general health and well-being. Fortunately, physical well-being has moved up the NHS agenda recently, but there is room for improvement.

Patients and their families can help by paying attention to physical well-being, taking up invites for screening and reviews, and not dismissing mental illness as “all in the mind”. The relationship also works the other way, as mental health issues can exacerbate physical conditions. Treatment of depression can improve pain relief and quality of life in someone with underlying back problems or arthritis.

Physical and mental health are closely intertwined, significantly impacting the other. It is often said that a healthy mind resides in a healthy body. Research has shown that individuals who exercise regularly and maintain a healthy diet are more likely to have better mental health, including reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety. In contrast, poor physical health, such as chronic illness or obesity, can increase the risk of developing mental health problems.

Moreover, stress and negative emotions can manifest physically, leading to various health problems, including high blood pressure and heart disease. Some mental health disorders may also cause physical symptoms, such as chronic pain or difficulty sleeping.

In conclusion.

Taking care of our physical health is essential for maintaining good mental health and vice versa. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle, including regular exercise, a balanced diet, and managing stress, can help improve both physical and psychological health. It is also essential to seek professional help when needed, as mental health issues can significantly impact physical health and vice versa.

Perhaps you worry about having a severe illness, despite your doctor reassuring you that you’re healthy. This anxiety could be a sign of illness anxiety disorder.

Illness anxiety disorder (IAD), formerly called hypochondria or hypochondriasis, is a type of anxiety disorder that affects millions of people worldwide. It can cause individuals to become overly concerned about their health, often to the point of extreme obsession.

While occasional worries about health care are usual, an illness anxiety disorder can seriously impact a person’s quality of life. Those with an Illness anxiety disorder may constantly seek reassurance from doctors and repeatedly undergo tests and procedures, even when there’s no evidence of illness. 

In this case, somebody with IAD obsessively focuses on their health and body, self-examining and self-diagnosing. This stress can occur even if there is no medical condition present, and if there is, their anxiety is disproportionate to the severity of the illness. IAD causes severe psychological distress and physical disability, thereby disrupting daily functioning.

In this article, we’ll look at the symptoms of illness anxiety disorder, why it occurs, and how it can be treated.

Symptoms

The symptoms of an Illness Anxiety Disorder include: 

1. Constant preoccupation with having or developing a severe medical condition; 
2. Interpreting minor symptoms as major illnesses; feeling easily frightened by existing health status; 
3. Finding little reassurance from healthcare professionals or negative test results; 
4. Experiencing excessive distress about potential illnesses that hinder daily functioning; 
5. Repeatedly checking the body for signs of disease; 
6. Persistently seeking medical attention for reassurance or avoiding care due to the fear of diagnosis; 
7. Avoiding people, places, or activities due to health concerns; 
8. Discussing health and possible illnesses frequently and repeatedly searching the internet for information on causes, symptoms, and potential diseases.

Classification of symptoms

The illness anxiety disorder has two types:

Care-seeking and care-avoidant

1. Care-seeking individuals seek regular reassurance from doctors despite expected test results and discuss their symptoms with others. 

2. Care-avoidant individuals avoid doctor visits and sharing their worries with loved ones out of fear of bad news or not being taken care of.

Causes of Illness Anxiety Disorder

Illness anxiety disorder has been linked to several risk factors:

1. An irrational belief that all bodily sensations will indicate a profound illness.

 2. A personal inclination to worry about health.

3. A family history of anticipatory stress or anxiety disorders, like depression, mood and anxiety disorders, etc.

4. A history of childhood illness and exposure to serious illness within the family. 

5. persistent stress.

6. childhood abuse and trauma.

7. excessive use of health-related websites.

It is necessary to consider these factors when evaluating patients for an illness anxiety disorder.

Diagnosis 

This disorder’s diagnosis is per DSM-5 criteria

For illness anxiety disorder. If a person has health anxiety (or other illness anxiety disorder symptoms) for six months or longer—even after tests show an absence of disease—a medical practitioner may diagnose the person with IAD.

The affected person undergoes physical examinations for substance use or any physical ailment. Based on the results, the primary care provider refers the patient to a mental health professional (MHP) who may review the affected person’s symptoms, stressful life situations, family history of mental health disorders, etc.

The patient may also be requested to fill out psychological self-assessments. The MHP carries out a differential diagnosis.

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Stress, or more accurately distress, occurs when the demands on a person exceed their abilities, skills, or coping strategies.

“Stress is a response to a threat in any situation and is the body’s way of protecting you,” says Laura Kampel, a Senior Clinical Psychologist at the Black Dog Institute.

It’s essential to recognise that stress is ‘designed’ to be a short-term experience and can even be helpful in many situations (more on healthy stress or eustress later).

However, too much stress too often, or chronic stress, can take a heavy toll on our health, wellbeing, performance and our relationships.

Stress levels in Australia are rising.

A survey conducted by the Australian Psychological Society found the wellbeing of Australians has been declining in recent years, with respondents reporting lower levels of wellbeing and higher levels of stress, depression and anxiety.

The survey on Stress and Wellbeing in Australia found:

• Younger adults between 18 to 25 consistently reported lower levels of wellbeing
• Personal finance, health, and family issues are the top stressors across all age groups.
• Pressure to maintain a healthy lifestyle was the fourth most common cause of stress.
• Most Australians surveyed felt that stress impacted their physical health (72%) and mental health (64%), but very few reported seeking professional help.
• More than one in 10 Australians (12%) reported that keeping up with social media networks contributed to their overall stress levels.
• According to research from Headspace and the National Union of Students, 83.2% of Australian universities and their students reported that stress negatively affected their health and wellbeing.

There’s more to stress because it is more than distress.

Today the word stress is synonymous with distress. There is a common belief that:

Stress is equal to distress and then perceived as a Health Risk.

With this prevailing belief, and ‘stress’ has become the equivalent of ‘distress’, many people have become stressed about stress! Obviously, as a stress management strategy, this is not ideal!!

While it is true that feeling stressed does push people into uneasy states, stress is more than distress, and the idea that “stress is bad” is problematic, if not harmful, to our health.

What is the purpose of stress?

The body’s Stress Response evolved to help us survive and to learn. The cascade of hormones released during the Stress Response primes the body for action, heightens your senses and improves your performance.

Stress impacts our minds and bodies. Any change that causes physical, emotional, or psychological strain engages the body’s Stress Response System – alerting us that the ‘stressor’ requires attention and action, for example:

• Exercise is a physical stressor that prompts us to rest, nourish and recover.
• Dangerous situations, such as a hot surface, warn us to protect ourselves by moving away from or leaving the position.
• When perceived as a threat, uncertainty may motivate us to seek certainty within or adjust our perception of uncertainty.

Stress can also contribute to understanding and memory by triggering the hormone Cortisol, an influential modulator of mechanisms involved in learning. Mild stress also causes the neurotransmitter acetylcholine to be released by nerve cells in the brain, and this is the same process when people concentrate on learning something new.

Healthy stress or eustress

Yes, stress can be healthy! In fact, we need some stress levels to grow, learn, and adapt. A lack of ‘healthy stress’ often leaves us feeling lost, directionless, and unhappy.

Healthy stress is sometimes called ‘eustress’, and it refers to stress that leads to positive outcomes and is often termed the opposite of ‘distress’. It contributes to feelings of confidence, adequacy and self-efficacy stimulated by the challenge and the accomplishment of the challenge experienced.

It was 2015, two years after I had retired from international rugby, where I was a celebrated full-back, playing for Glasgow Warriors, Sale Sharks and Toulon, and had represented Scotland in two World Cups. 

This wasn’t the first time I’d tried psychedelics. I’d tried psilocybin (magic mushrooms) seven years earlier, after a bad concussion, because I’d heard they benefited brain injuries. The harsh reality of rugby culture first struck me, then how players are encouraged to endure pain and injuries well past the breaking point. 

That night, under the influence of iboga, I felt a sense of clarity that was almost disturbing. New energy coursed through my body, and I could see all the trauma I’d endured through surgeries, pharmaceutical drugs, and partying.

On my return home, I started researching psychedelics. Until the 1960s, psychedelic therapies were surprisingly commonplace in Western medicine in the areas of psychology and psychiatry. 

They fell out of favour, though this is changing now – ketamine therapy is available in the UK for depression and addiction, Australia has just legalised MDMA and psilocybin for therapeutic use, and we finally have scientific evidence to back up efficacy for several mental health conditions, such as post-traumatic stress disorder, which the Duke of Sussex has spoken about.

Winning at all costs

A few years before trying iboga, I’d been lauded as Scotland’s best full-back in the 2007 Rugby World Cup. During the week, I was training hard, while after matches, I was binge-drinking and partying in nightclubs with my teammates, pumped full of Red Bull and Pro Plus until the sun came up.

During my decade-long career as a professional rugby player, I earned a reputation for winning at all costs. I’d been knocked unconscious on the pitch ten times, with many more concussions and broken bones. In 2008, I fractured my eye socket, cheekbone and jawbone and had a seizure. But I kept playing. 

Pharmaceutical drugs were handed out freely to the players, so with the help of the anti-inflammatories diclofenac and meloxicam, painkillers co-codamol and tramadol, and muscle-relaxing benzodiazepines, I got on with it. 

Popping these highly addictive pills was a way to keep playing and hang on to your livelihood. These drugs take away your physical pain and boost your mood, and they soon started being used beyond their recommended medical capacity.

Finally, in 2012, at 29, I shattered my leg and ankle joint in a career-ending injury. After a year of rest and three surgeries, my ankle failed to heal. My contract was torn up, and my healthcare plan was revoked six months later.

‘I couldn’t imagine a future without rugby.’

Have you ever felt a strong adverse reaction to sounds that most people find insignificant, such as someone eating or tapping their feet, becoming unbearable? If so, you may be experiencing misophonia, a relatively unknown auditory disorder that affects a small percentage of the population.

What is Misophonia?

Misophonia, or selective sound sensitivity syndrome, affects one in five people. Many people may not recognise they have this condition, characterised by an intense emotional or physical response to specific sounds or repetitive motions. It is a little-understood disorder that translates as ‘hatred of sound. Common triggers for misophonia include chewing, slurping, snoring, clicking, tapping, or even loud breathing sounds. Therefore, it can trigger a full-on flight-or-flight response with an overwhelming feeling of anger, anxiety or disgust.

For example, the noise of vacuuming doesn’t only annoy my pet dog, but it can also make another person “violently distressed.”

It has previously been associated with other mental health conditions like anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), but while it does share some similarities, it is distinct. 

Symptoms

The symptoms of misophonia can vary in severity and significantly impact a person’s quality of life. They may experience symptoms such as a rapid heart rate, sweating, shaking, nausea, or even violent thoughts or behaviours in response to a trigger sound. The symptoms can be so severe that those who suffer from this condition may avoid social situations, leading to difficulty concentrating, sleeping, or completing daily tasks.

Diagnosis

Diagnosing misophonia can be difficult, as it is not currently recognised as a separate disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). However, experience significant distress or impairment in your daily life due to certain sounds. It may be worth speaking to a mental health professional specialising in this disorder.

Treatment

An audiologist may be able to diagnose misophonia and offer some coping strategies, but there is currently no known cure for misophonia. However, treatment options vary depending on the severity of the condition. Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) is one treatment option that can help individuals develop coping mechanisms and change their thought patterns in response to trigger sounds. Despite no solid evidence, other sufferers have found hypnotherapy, sound therapy, white noise or TRT (Tinnitus Retraining Therapy) to help manage their symptoms.

Living with Misophonia

Living with misophonia can be challenging, but many individuals have found ways to manage their symptoms and improve their quality of life. Try to avoid trigger sounds when possible, communicate with those around you about the condition, and seek support from a therapist or support group.

Conclusion

Misophonia is a complex and misunderstood disorder that can significantly impact a person’s life. The reaction to these sounds can range from mild annoyance to extreme anger, anxiety, panic or the necessity to escape. While there is no cure, many treatment options are available to help manage symptoms and improve overall well-being. If you or someone you know may be experiencing misophonia, seek help from a medical professional.

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Do you know that saying about the Sixties? If you remember them, you weren’t there?

My parents remember the Isle of Wight Festival in 1969, where Bob Dylan headlined. They popped by out of curiosity and left at 8 pm. My folks were — and still are — wonderfully straight.

Why am I telling you this? Because I want you to know that I was brought up as a sensible, law-abiding, rule-following citizen, and I was no hippy kid. So, what I’m about to admit may sound at odds with my upbringing and middle-class roots.

I have taken magic mushrooms. I enjoyed them. In fact, I liked them more than wine. And I am not alone. I know plenty of mothers of young children, like me, who have enjoyed a little psilocybin here and there. I’d go as far as to say the UK is in the early stages of a psychedelic renaissance. Over the past year, as a brand owner (Selfish Mother) and influencer on Instagram (@mollyjanegunn, 116,000 followers), I’ve noticed my online following of parents talking more freely about psilocybin, either overtly or by the subtle use of a red mushroom emoji as a code. I’ve also noticed the trend in school-run circles in Somerset, where I live.

These parents are most interested in microdosing mushrooms to keep calm and carry on. Many people I know take them — in mainly tiny amounts — as typically as you might take a paracetamol or pour a glass of wine. The view is they offer a unique way of decompressing. Depending on how much you take, there might be a lightness of being, a feeling of connection, clarity, laughter and a sense of calm. And, unlike booze, no hangover.

Then after a dinner party, for instance, mushroom chocolates or truffles — in which small amounts of magic mushrooms have been blended into chocolate — might be handed out instead of a bar of Green & Black’s. Or, at a festival, one might have a few mushroom oil “drops” from a pipette to accompany a cold shandy. Or one might pick a liberty cap mushroom in a field — when they are in season — and chew it while walking the dog.

The strength of the effects depends on how much one takes: too much, and you might feel so buzzy and fluffy that you can’t do much else but sink into the “journey”. For me, the interest was in microdosing as a substitute for alcohol. I have three children aged 12, 9 and 5, and heaven knows there were times when I needed a vice to get through chaotic family life — but I’m over the whole idea of “wine o’clock”.

Twelve years into parenting, I no longer want to drink like it’s a badge of honour, even when bonding with my mum’s friends. Aged 45, I find it hard to ignore that alcohol is an addictive depressant that is bad for my liver and skin and has unwanted calories that add to my midlife figure.

I’ve tried mushrooms in many forms, and the ones I responded to best were the drops. And many mothers I know, instead of glugging half a bottle of organic shiraz, are more likely to take a single drop of this tincture, a brown concentrated liquid mushroom extract mixed in small batches, often in a kitchen, by a “shaman”, apparently. The idea is that just one drop is the perfect way to bring lightness to an average evening at home without resorting to alcohol.

Typically, I might have had a drop at about 6 pm while cooking the family dinner, accompanied by a Brooklyn Brewery alcohol-free beer or my favourite Agua de Madre kefir water. Over the next few hours, I would generally feel relaxed and in tune with my children as we ate our family meal. Watching Lego Masters with my sons and then singing to my daughter to sleep would be typical. A drop of mushrooms during this time gave me patience and the ability to notice small wonders and be in their “zone”, and these benefits would bring something beautiful.

This starkly contrasts what would happen to me after too many glasses of wine, which brings out a laissez-faire side of me;

The quiet hours can bring a lot of internal chatter, and here’s how to deal with it.

Whenever you try to fall asleep at night, many anxious thoughts and embarrassing memories come racing into your mind, preventing you from drifting off. Why does this happen, and can you do anything about it?

Experts say that whether you’re throbbing through tomorrow’s to-do list or dwelling on past regrets, it’s normal for worries and fears to surface at night.

According to an October 2022 survey of 3,192 adults in the United States, 34 per cent of respondents reported feeling anxious or nervous within the past month. And 32 per cent said that their stress had led to changes in their sleeping habits, including difficulties with falling asleep.

However, there is an evolutionary purpose to evening anxiety, said Dr. Rafael Pelayo, a clinical professor of psychiatry and behavioural sciences in sleep medicine at Stanford Medicine and author of the book, “How to Sleep.”

“Sleep is the most dangerous thing we can do,” he said, and being hyper-aware of our surroundings allowed our ancestors to spot any incoming threats.

But when your anxiety keeps you awake, you not only miss out on the health benefits of sleep, you might kick off a vicious cycle of poor sleep routine and increased stress that can be hard to break.

“Sleep loss is often a precursor for anxiety disorders, and anxiety leads to sleep loss,” said Dr. Sarah Chellappa, a neuroscientist at the University of Cologne in Germany.

Here’s what the experts say you can do if your overactive mind keeps you awake.

The cruel connection between anxiety and sleep

Anxiety can surface at any time, but there are a few reasons it may feel more intense at bedtime, said Candice Alfano, director of the Sleep and Anxiety Center at the University of Houston. “Most of us are incredibly busy during the waking hours; our attention is pulled in many different directions, so we have limited time to think about our worries,” she said. 

“But at night, while we lie in bed, there are few distractions from the thoughts that make us anxious.”

This can lead to a frustrating problem: We can’t sleep because those anxious thoughts make us think we are unsafe, making us more alert by raising our heart rates and tightening our muscles.

Essentially, the body can’t quite tell if the source of our troubles is a physical threat, like a tiger about to pounce, or an upcoming presentation you’re nervous about making at school — it just gets the memo to stay awake.

At a basic level,” Dr. Pelayo said, “feeling in danger or under stress is the same mechanism in the brain.”

Worse, sleep loss has been shown to produce more anxious thoughts. In a 2019 review published in the journal Sleep Medicine Reviews, researchers concluded that insomnia was a significant predictor of anxiety, among other mental health conditions. 

The researchers explained that sleep helps us distinguish between threatening and safe, so we aren’t as good at responding to stress, fear and anxiety, without adequate sleep. This could, in turn, mean more negative thoughts that can interfere with shut-eye.

The good news is that solid sleep can also make your anxiety better over time, experts say.

How to slow anxious thoughts at night

Since better sleep helps decrease anxiety, general good sleep hygiene practices — like going to bed and waking up at the exact time every day and avoiding any blue light technology before bedtime — can help on both fronts, Dr. Alfano said.

The tips below, however, might help you reduce anxious bedtime thinking.

Caffeine is a stimulant. Caffeine’s half-life is approximately five hours, meaning if you have an eight-ounce cup of coffee at 4 p.m., you’ll still have half that cup’s caffeine in your system by 9 p.m. That’s a problem because caffeine keeps you awake and is known for making anxiety symptoms worse,

Ingram pointed out in a newspaper article that what Harry went through in childhood - the loss of his mother in a car crash, amid overwhelming media interest - “would break many normal people,” and that his deployment to Afghanistan with the Army brought additional stresses (even if Harry claims military service “saved” him) . Is it possible, then, that trauma lies behind his current behaviour, which from the outside appears more self-destructive than healing? 

That soldiers can suffer PTSD after leaving the battlefield is by now well established. In the First World War, it was dubbed shell shock, and has since been recognised as a medical condition, a type of anxiety disorder. But it is one that can also be caused by any situation a person finds traumatic, from road accidents and sex attacks to domestic or child abuse, health problems and even childbirth. PTSD can result from grief, too, says psychotherapist Julia Samuel. 

While in most cases, traumas are processed relatively quickly (in weeks rather than years), in a minority of cases, the trauma remains “locked in the brain, untouched and unresolved, as if it were in the present,” which can lead the sufferer to see the world differently, says Samuel, who was a close friend of Diana’s and is godmother to Prince George, Harry’s nephew. “You can have it on the brain decades after the event. It has no sense of time, it is present in the body. Trauma then heightens your sense of fear and response to the world: the world seems more dangerous.”

Multiple studies have pointed to changes in the brain associated with PTSD. The condition is typically diagnosed by a psychiatrist via a mental health assessment, not a brain scan, but research shows the amygdala - the part of the brain that deals with emotional responses - is more active in those who suffer from it. 

“The trauma is stored in the amygdala, which is the part of the brain that’s always looking for threats,” says Samuel. “It can’t cognitively be processed.”

Symptoms of PTSD can include vivid flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, nightmares, becoming easily upset or angry, extreme alertness, disturbed sleep, irritability and aggressive behaviour, poor concentration and, indeed, carrying out self-destructive or reckless acts, according to an extensive list from mental health charity Mind. 

Developmental disability 

Developmental disability is a term used to describe physical or mental impairments caused by particular disorders or illnesses. It includes conditions such as Autism, now called an autism spectrum disorder (ASD), cerebral palsy, Down, and Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Individuals with developmental disabilities often experience physical, psychological and communication difficulties and usually last throughout a person’s lifetime.

What is child development?

Child development is an exciting process! It refers to how babies and children grow, learn, and master different skills. Four key areas cover physical, cognitive, language, and social-emotional development. Physical development looks at strength and physical abilities; cognitive growth involves thinking and problem-solving. Language development focuses on communication and understanding. Social-emotional development deals with how children interact with others and handle their feelings.

Development milestones

Development milestones mark typical growth stages and are achieved by most children around the same age. However, each child develops individually, making their own timeline.

What Are Developmental Disabilities?

Developmental disabilities are delays in their physical or cognitive development that adversely affect a person’s ability to function in daily life. These delays may affect motor skills, speech, learning and other vital areas of functioning. Depending on the severity of impairments and limitations of the disability, individuals may have difficulties performing tasks independently (such as taking care of oneself) or interacting with others (for example, speaking).

Risk Factors & Causes Associated With Developmental Disability

Risk factors and causes associated with developmental disability vary by diagnosis. Common risk factors include a family history of intellectual disability/developmental delay; advanced parental age; maternal drug use/exposure; premature birth or low birth weight; prenatal exposure to toxins such as alcohol or lead; exposure to environmental toxins such as lead paint; infections during pregnancy; genetics plays a role in some cases; lack of access to routine medical care in early childhood years before symptoms become more pronounced​​ from the age of twelve​.

Seek Support

Reaching out to other people who also have family members affected by a developmental disability can provide you with valuable support in dealing with your own situation. A child psychologist or a developmental-behavioural paediatrician is dedicated to assisting and advising those taking care of individuals with various developmental disabilities, including national organisations and online forums.

Developmental disabilities make it difficult for people to do everyday activities and gain the skills to reach their full potential. Developmental disabilities can range from mild to severe, depending on the individual’s abilities and the support they have around them. 

People will go to the unlikeliest of places to sort their heads out, be it the internet,

the rainforests of the Amazon, or even suburbia in London, UK.

Like noticing the first grey hairs, I suppose there comes a time in midlife when many of us think: is everyone on drugs but me? These rude awakenings of ageing are inevitable – I just hadn’t counted on them coming to me exactly the same time. There I was, at the hairdresser’s for my biannual root touch-up, when the nice woman charged with making me blonde again – let’s call her Claire,

announced that she would have to use a more “icy” blonde tone to help mask the proliferation of greys coming through.

Perhaps noticing the shock on my face, she changed the subject and asked how my Christmas was. I mumbled some platitudes about it being lovely, thank you very much, before asking how hers was. “Eventful,” smiled Claire. “I went on a guided ayahuasca trip as a present to myself.

Now she really had my attention.

“It’s a South American psychoactive plant that gives you this intense spiritual experience,” she continued. “It was mind-blowing. Eye-opening. It takes you into another dimension and lets you see how connected we are.

“Goodness,” I said. “Where did you go to do it? Peru? Brazil? Chile?” “Oh no!”, she replied. “I went to see a shaman in Croydon.”

Regular readers will know that I’m no prude when it comes to drugs, having tried a fair few before giving them up several years ago. And yet, even this reformed drug addict is shocked by how normal it seems to have become for people to announce that they have spent the weekend casually taking psychedelics.

Anyone with even a passing interest in the news will have noticed that Prince Harry has admitted to taking ayahuasca and magic mushrooms. In California, where I went at the beginning of January to interview him, I felt very old indeed as I saw the number of high-end shops selling fancy clutch bags that would have been just the thing had they not been a) 600 dollars and then monogrammed, with words such as “WEED”, “GUMMIES” and “EDIBLES”.

Back in the UK, I relayed this information to a similarly middle-aged, middle-class friend, who laughed at me patronisingly. “Bryony,” he said, pouring himself a glass of merlot, “everyone does edibles nowadays, honey”.

“Well, I don’t!” I said haughtily, clutching my glass of water. “You may not, but I can assure you that people are microdosing their way through life’s drudgery with chocolate-covered mushrooms they have ordered off the internet all over the country.”

As someone who had to give up drugs for their mental health, I found all this a bit much. But I was obviously taking the wrong drugs. Last week, a study reported that a single dose of DMT – the psychedelic found in ayahuasca – might effectively treat people with severe depression.

The 34 subjects in the trial were given an I V drip of DMT, causing them to experience a 20-minute psychedelic “trip”. They were then given therapy to help them make sense of the process. Six in 10 were declared depression-free three months later.

This kind of study is fascinating because, for decades, most research into treatment for depression has been sluggish, to say the least, slowed down by the unstoppable march of mass-marketed antidepressants. As Dr David Erritzoe, a clinical psychiatrist at Imperial College London and the study’s chief investigator noted: “For patients who are unfortunate to experience little benefit from existing antidepressants, the potential for rapid and durable relief from a single treatment, as shown in this trial, is very promising.”

What does this mean? Should we all be out picking mushrooms? Or taking guided ayahuasca trips with so-called shamans on the outskirts of south London?

Aphasia is a communication disorder that results from damage or injury to the language parts of the brain. It's usually caused by a stroke but can also be caused by other brain injuries, such as a tumour or head injury. People with aphasia may have difficulty understanding spoken and written language, speaking, reading and writing. They may also find it challenging to communicate effectively with others to express their needs.

Imagine that you're trying to talk, but you can't get the words out — and then, if you finally do, no one understands what you're saying. And you don't know what others are saying to you. That's what it's like to live with aphasia.

Aphasia results from damage to the brain that affects speech and language comprehension. Frequently, aphasia follows a stroke, but it can also result from a traumatic brain injury; in my case, I suffered a "coup contrecoup injury, which had occurred by the jolting of the brain against the skull and the shearing forces on the brain caused by direct contact from, acceleration-deceleration forces.

The latter type is more common in paediatric traumatic brain injury and more generally caused by motor vehicle accidents associated with high-velocity acceleration-deceleration forces, and, consequently, aphasia. This occurred when a drunk driver ploughed into a parked car I was sitting in one Tuesday morning in 2006.

I'm sharing my story not because I think it is exceptional but because I know it is not. If anything, the telling makes it unusual because so few of us with aphasia can speak about our difficulties.

At least 180,000 Americans are diagnosed with aphasia yearly, and it's estimated that some 2 million Americans have it; it's more prevalent than Parkinson's disease, cerebral palsy, multiple sclerosis, muscular dystrophy and Lou Gehrig's disease combined.

Yet, the condition remains mainly in the shadows, maybe partly because so few of us with it, can tell others about our challenges.

Actor Bruce Willis and former congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords are perhaps the most famous people to publicly acknowledge their aphasia. (Willis's diagnosis, it was recently announced, has now progressed to frontotemporal dementia).

In research from the National Institutes of Health, aphasia had the most considerable negative impact on the quality of life of the 60 measured conditions, even more than cancer and Alzheimer's disease.

I'm sharing my experience to give hope to others with aphasia and their families.

A brain stuck in static.

Within days of my injury, I could unstick my tongue from the roof of my mouth and create an odd sound occasionally, but I couldn't communicate in any traditional sense. I felt like a human radio pumping out static — with sporadic bursts of clarity.

When I was asked to point to a picture of a teapot, an apple, or an elephant, my adrenaline kicked in, my breathing got faster, my heart rate got faster, and I started to sweat. Sometimes I just pointed to my head. The odds of a sinkhole opening within me were approximately equal to the odds that I'd find the right word at the right time, something I'd done with ease before the accident as a professional freelance writer.

Gun-control activist Gabrielle Giffords is the star of the new documentary.

I couldn't navigate the smallest space or the slightest thing. None of the tools I had used before made any sense. Not words or places or names or directions or signs on bathroom doors. It's hard to navigate when you can't decipher anything on your desktop or phone and can't tell anyone that you can't.

I pointed to a chair because I couldn't say "chair." I mimed drinking from a bottle because I couldn't find the word "bottle" or "water" "thirsty" or "drink." If I spoke at all, I spoke with an urgency bordering on panic. In the first year after the accident, once I began to put words together, I said things like "white stuff sky," which meant snow, or "cow thing pants," which meant belt.

For centuries, our romantic fates were thought to be written in the stars. Wealthy families would even pay fortunes to have a matchmaker foretell the success, or failure of a potential marriage.

Despite the lack of any good evidence for its accuracy, astrology still thrives in many lifestyle magazines, while the more sceptical among us, might hope to be guided by the algorithms, of websites and dating apps.

But are these programs any more rigorous than the signs of the zodiac? Or, should we put our faith in love languages, and attachment theory? (That’s to name just two fashions in pop psychology).

The world of matchmaking, is riddled with myths, and misunderstandings that recent science, is just starting to unravel. From the inevitably messy data, a few clear conclusions, are emerging that can help guide us in our search for true love.

If you are looking for the secrets of romantic success, the most obvious place to start, would seem to be the science of personality.

If you are an outgoing party animal, you might hope to find someone with a similar level of extraversion; if you are organised, and conscientious, you might expect to feel a stronger connection, with someone who enjoys keeping a rigid schedule.

The scientific research does offer some support for the intuitive notion, that “like attracts like”, but in the grand scheme of things, the similarity of personality profiles, is relatively unimportant.

“Yes, it is true that people are more likely to experience chemistry, with someone who is similar to them, in certain ways,” explains Prof Harry Reis, at the University of Rochester, New York. “But if I brought you in a room with 20 people, who are similar to you in various ways, the odds that you’re going to have chemistry, with more than one of them, are not very good.” It is only the extreme differences, Reis says, that will matter, in your first meetings. “It’s not likely, that you would have chemistry,with somebody who is very dissimilar to you.”

The rest is just noise. The same goes for shared interests. “The effects are so tiny,” says Prof Paul Eastwick at the University of California.

Eastwick found similarly disappointing results when he looked at people’s “romantic ideals” – our preconceived notions, of the particular qualities we would want in our dream partner. I might say that I value kindness above all other qualities, for instance, and you might say you are looking for someone who is adventurous, and free-spirited.

You’d think we’d know what we want – but the research suggests otherwise. While it’s true, that certain qualities, such as kindness, or adventurousness, are generally considered to be attractive, experiments on speed-daters, suggest that people’s particular preferences tend to matter very little, in their face-to-face interactions.

Someone who stated that they were looking for kindness, for example, would be just as likely to click, with someone who scored high on adventurousness, – and vice versa.

Despite our preconceptions, we seem open, to a wide variety of people, showing generally positive attributes.

“We can’t find evidence that some people really weigh some traits over others,” Eastwick says. He compares it to going out to a restaurant, ordering a specific dinner, then swapping food with the table next to yours. You’re just as likely to enjoy the random dish, as the one you’d originally ordered.

Given this growing body of research, Eastwick is generally very sceptical that computer algorithms can accurately match people for chemistry, or compatibility. Working with Prof Samantha Joel at Western University in Canada, he has used a machine learning program, to identify any combinations of traits, that would

Continuing with the psychedelic theme, and the potential benefits to mental health have been covered in a previous article and podcast. The key issues were the potential therapeutic benefits of using these compounds.

After all, there was a 40-year pause on psychedelic research following the prohibition of these substances.

There are some cynics and concerns about this method due to the unpredictability of each subject, and one size fits all isn’t available.

The drug’s potency has increased over time, and psychedelics are illegal, so there’s no quality control on supply, and some nasty contaminants, have been found within illicit street products.

There have been reports of adolescents experiencing nightmares or flashbacks after taking psychedelics, which could be attributed to traumatic experiences during a bad psychedelic experience.

Psychedelic drugs may also negatively affect adolescents' brain development, who are still growing and learning to cope with life’s challenges.

Beginning in the 1960s, scientists thought that depression resulted from having low levels of the neurotransmitter serotonin in the brain. Traditional antidepressant drugs, such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, worked by correcting that chemical imbalance.

But there were holes in this hypothesis. Most notably, antidepressives medication could raise serotonin levels immediately, but symptoms of depression typically don’t alleviate until several weeks after starting the treatment. Unfortunately, this drug had unsavoury side effects, such as "emotional blunting" .

A new theory emerged in the early 2000s that depression, anxiety, and Post-traumatic stress disorder may stem from the loss of synapses in the brain.

It turned out that antidepressant drugs could regrow those lost synapses — a process known as plasticity.

It’s possible that by forging new connections in the brain, people can start to change negative thought patterns and regain control over anxious or depressive impulses.

The brains of Buddhist monks and other expert meditators — people intimate with mystical experiences — also undergo changes.

There’s even research suggesting that talk therapy works, in part, by altering patterns of brain activity.

Psychedelics are thought to confer therapeutic benefits by inducing plasticity in the brain.

Micro-dosing psychedelics has long been a subject of fascination to people looking for non-traditional methods of mental health treatment.

But what is micro-dosing?

Could it offer an effective alternative to traditional therapies?

This article will discuss the potential benefits and drawbacks of micro-dosing psychedelics and how to experiment with them safely.

What Is Micro-dosing?

Microdosing involves taking small doses (often around one-tenth of a whole amount) of psychedelic drugs, such as lysergic acid diethylamide, LSD or psilocybin mushrooms, over extended periods. People who use this method report improved mental clarity, focus, creativity, and mood states. It’s often referred to as ‘micro-dosing’ because such tiny amounts are used.

Micro-doses say the substances help them overcome emotional barriers and increase productivity; others claim the experience helps reduce anxiety or depression symptoms.

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Turns out, it all starts with your gut.

The gut microbiome is an ecosystem of hundreds to thousands of microbial species living within the body. These populations affect our health, fertility, and even our longevity.

There is increasing evidence that the mixture of microorganisms found in the gut and intestinal tract plays a key role in regulating health. It is central to the digestion of food but has also been linked to the functioning of the immune system, mood and brain function, as well as to a range of conditions, including cancers and neurodegenerative diseases.

How Your Gut Flora Impacts Health

Gut health is a term that describes the balance of microorganisms in the digestive tract. These microorganisms, which consist of bacteria, fungi, and viruses, help break down food and promote digestion. A healthy gut contributes to proper immune function and overall health.

Poor diet, stress, and antibiotics can all negatively impact gut health by destroying beneficial bacteria. Antibiotics will alter the gut flora for up to 12 months.

Eating a healthy diet rich in prebiotics (foods that feed the good bacteria) and probiotics (live organisms found in foods like yoghurt), getting adequate sleep, exercising regularly, and managing stress are some ways to support good gut health.

Good gut health plays an essential role in our body’s performance. It has been linked to various physical and mental health conditions, including obesity, depression, allergies, asthma, diabetes and cancer. It’s no wonder that many experts are now claiming that having a healthy gut could be the key to overall well-being.

Brighten up your meal

Adding colour to your meal provides essential vitamins and minerals to your overall diet.

By rotating the variety of your fruit and vegetables weekly, you will feed different microbes in the gut and ensure you achieve your five-a-day target. Your goal is to hit 30 Different plant-based foods per week.

Eat more fibre

Fibre feeds the good gut bacteria, and they consume it and then produce short-chain fatty acids (known as postbiotics), which help reduce inflammation in the body. It also helps maintain bowel health because it increases the bulk in stools, increasing bowel transit time. Therefore, avoid laxatives, enemas, and other medicines that change how your bowels function.

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Psychotropic medication definition. Is any drug prescribed to stabilise or improve mood, mental status, or behaviour?

It’s an umbrella term for many medications, including prescription and commonly misused drugs.

If you want to discuss the benefits of psychedelic drugs, then according to McKenna’s 1992 book on Food of The Gods. He proposed the Stoned Ape Hypothesis. He explained that ingesting psychedelic plants may have encouraged social bonding and consciousness, responsible for doubling the brain capacity of our ancestors two million years ago. 

Unfortunately, it is only a theory with very little proof or support. There’s possibly some truth in what McKenna enunciates, said the palaeontologist Dr Martin Lockley, author of a book called How Humanity Came Into Being. 

However, perusing this theory and being an optimist, could our village cokehead be the next Einstein? 

On the other hand, research has shown that psychedelics may genuinely spark the creation of new neurons and synapses, a process known as neurogenesis within the Petri dish. 

Perhaps in the future, treatments for neurodegenerative diseases like dementia could stimulate the formation of new neurons without sending patients on any mind-bending cosmic adventure.

For the baby boomers, a psychedelic experience is somewhat déjà vu, sending you back to the summer of love.

It is indeed a trip down memory lane for some (pun intended). Still, it doesn’t mean it’s all a bed of roses, and it’s no exaggeration that these substances can harm in the wrong hands or be abused. 

Albeit a popular and mainstream topic for generations, it has been immortalised in history books, folk law and music with positive and negative correlations.

Psychoactive substance

A psychedelic drug is a psychoactive substance whose primary action is to produce hallucinations or other sensory distortions, with secondary effects that are either less prominent or more desirable.

Because of this dual action, the correct term for these drugs is entactogens (entheogens if the primary product is spiritual). Psychedelics include a variety of hallucinogenic compounds like LSD, and mescaline and primarily act on the serotonergic system in the brain.

Psilocybin causes visual and mental distortions, such as dysphoria, stress, and anxiety. While amphetamines like cocaine, crystal meth, ketamine and MDMA cause feelings of euphoria.

Phencyclidine, also known as PCP or angel dust, is an NMDA antagonist and induces symptoms that can mirror those observed in schizophrenia.

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We were already in an epidemic of anxiety before the pandemic, and those rates have continued to climb. The international prevalence of anxiety and depression increased by 25 per cent in the first year of the pandemic, according to the World Health Organization.

Faced with this crisis, the mental health field offers a few suggestions. The presiding agreement is that our mental health struggles are the result of a chemical imbalance written in our DNA. 

The implication is that our anxiety is chemical, and our serotonin level, the feel-good hormone, is determined by our genetic destiny. Mental healthcare professionals offer medications and therapy to change our cognitive rituals to lift our suspected serotonin deficiency.

But what if these options don’t work for you?

While our current offerings help some people, the inaccessibility of therapy is at an all-time high. Far too many people were struggling with their mental health and experiencing disappointing results with medication.

Focusing on brain chemistry has led us to overlook what impacts our mood and behaviour; the body plays a critical and often overlooked function in mental health. This can come as good news for those who have not found satisfactory relief from medication and therapy.

The determinants of our mental well-being go beyond our genes and brain chemistry to include inflammation, gut health, sleep, nutrition, hormones, chronic limbic hyperarousal because of unresolved trauma, and even having our fundamental human needs for community, nature, meaning, and purpose go unmet. 

If we do have what is known as a chemical imbalance, it is probably a downstream consequence of these other states of imbalance.

In other words, anxiety is not all in your head; it’s based mainly on the body, where it should first be addressed.

I believe there are two types of anxiety: genuine anxiety (or purposeful anxiety) and avoidable anxiety.

Genuine anxiety is our inner compass nudging us to pay attention to what’s not right in our personal lives, our communities and the world. It’s not something to suppress or pathologise, and it’s not what’s wrong with us — it’s what’s right with us when we can viscerally connect to what’s wrong in the world.

With genuine anxiety, our symptoms communicate something to us that should be heard and honoured. Instead of asking, “how can I stop feeling so anxious,” we should ask, “what is my anxiety telling me?” There’s often a call to action baked into our genuine anxiety, and when we let our uneasiness fuel purposeful action, we don’t feel so mired in our anxiety.

On the other hand, avoidable anxiety is often as simple as our body getting tripped into a stress response, which transmits a signal to the brain telling us something is wrong. 

And the human brain worries and fears everyday situations.

Your anxiety checklist.

When I work with patients, I start with avoidable anxiety — the low-hanging fruit. We come up with an avoidable anxiety inventory. In a moment of peak anxiety, this list can cue them to reflect on possible causes of a sudden stress response taking over their body, help them identify the particular avoidable anxiety that might be occurring, and understand its straightforward remedy.

An avoidable anxiety inventory could include the following:

• Hunger
• Sleep deprivation
• Being over-caffeinated
• A hangover (what is known as “hang-xiety”)
• Gut issues
• Inflammation
• Long stretches of being sedentary
• Chemical fallout after consuming highly processed food
• Late luteal phase (the days before the bleeding phase of the menstrual cycle)
• Inter-dose withdrawal (the pharmacologic low-point when you’re due for your next dose of a psychiatric medication)

Ellen Vora is an integrative psychiatrist in New York City, and the author of “The Anatomy of Anxiety.”

Five of the seven deaths occurred in children younger than one year old. There have also been further concerns about how it might affect a child’s growth, development, and well-being, particularly during puberty. Studies found that morning sleepiness, drowsiness, and perhaps increased urination at night are the most common side effects that occur while taking melatonin. 

Always talk with your paediatrician about the proper dose and timing of melatonin for your child.  And remember, it should be something other than a good bedtime routine, young or old.

Let’s start by looking at this hormone in more detail. 

An article by Amelia Nierenberg wrote in the New York Times states that most people think of melatonin as a natural sleep aid, like chamomile tea in pill form. But melatonin is also a hormone that our brains naturally produce, and like it or not, hormones, even in minuscule amounts, they can have a potent effect throughout the body.

“There are some clinical uses for it, but not the way that it’s been marketed and used by the vast majority of the public,” said Jennifer Martin, a psychologist and professor of medicine at the University of California, Los Angeles.

Experts strongly urge people to consult their doctor or a sleep specialist before taking melatonin, partly because the supplement does not address many underlying health problems that disrupt sleep. Anxiety can cause insomnia, as can a host of other potentially serious ailments, such as sleep apnoea, restless legs syndrome or mood disorders like depression, that may require medical treatment. In short, any stressor, such as sleep apnoea, chronic infections, allergies or psychological-emotional, can therefore raise cortisol levels.  

Melatonin and cortisol are in an opposite relationship; when melatonin is high, cortisol should be low and vice versa. When either of these gets out of balance, our ability to sleep is affected.

Melatonin, however, is relatively inexpensive and readily available at local pharmacies in the United States. However, in the United Kingdom and other countries, it typically requires a prescription, and many people will go out and buy it on their own. So what’s the best approach to taking melatonin? Here’s what experts had to say.

How does melatonin work?

Melatonin, often referred to as the molecular expression of darkness, is a hormone the pineal gland produces in response to darkness that regulates the sleep-wake cycle. During the day, the gland does not create melatonin. After the sun sets, darkness triggers it to secrete the hormone into the bloodstream to bind to receptors in various tissues and therefore enforce circadian rhythms causing drowsiness and other signals that it’s time to sleep. Melatonin is light sensitive and will react to morning light exposure when our brain is signalled to pull back on melatonin release. Morning light also signals the brain to release cortisol, our awake and defence hormone against potential predators. 

During the day, the brain’s pea-sized pineal gland remains inactive. A few hours before our natural sleep time, as it gets dark outside and the light entering our retina fades, the gland switches on to flood the brain with melatonin.

There shouldn’t be any surprise that melatonin is sometimes called the ‘hormone of darkness or ‘vampire hormone’” because it comes out at night,

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The number of children being prescribed the previous jet lag hormone melatonin to help their child sleep has nearly tripled in the past seven years.

Melatonin is indeed not a sleep hormone but a biological marker of darkness.” For example, in humans and other diurnal animals, the release of melatonin into the bloodstream helps prepare the body for sleep. 

A recent study from the Netherlands suggested that teenagers’ sleep problems can improve after just one week by limiting evening exposure to light-emitting screens on mobile phones, tablets and computers. 

Overexposure before bedtime to blue light emitted from devices can affect the brain’s clock and the production of the melatonin hormone, resulting in disrupted sleep time and quality.

 So is sleep medication being overused by children?

Speaking to Colin Espie, a professor of sleep medicine in the Nuffield department of clinical neuroscience at the University of Oxford, is one of many leading experts worried by this trend. “We seem to be socialising our youngsters into the idea that sleep is difficult, and you need tablets for it,” he says. Instead, he explains, our focus should be on helping them to establish healthy sleep patterns at home.

As stark new NHS figures show, children are experiencing an epidemic of sleeping problems amid a sharp decline in their mental health triggered by the pandemic. Insomnia can exacerbate an underlying mental or physical health problem. 

Emma Thomas, YoungMinds’ chief executive, said: there is alarming pressure young people face with their mental health, with many experiencing isolation, loneliness, and reduced support caused partly by the pandemic.

Here are some valuable tips. 

Prepare children’s minds for sleep (even your three-year-old can meditate)

If we want children to sleep naturally, teaching simple, mindful noticing skills can be helpful, says Dr Guy Meadows, co-founder and clinical lead at the London clinic Sleep School. At Sleep School, children as young as three are taught to meditate. “You don’t tell them they’re meditating and put their favourite teddy on their tummy, lie on the floor with them, and they just watch the teddy go up and down.” It calms the mind, preparing it for rest.

You might also ask: “What are you grateful for today?” The important thing is that “we’re shifting the mind into a state more conducive to sleep”.

Don’t tell your nine-year-old to ‘go to sleep now!

We see an increase in sleep anxiety in children from the age of six, Meadows says — “an explosion of the mind’s ability to create worry”. Meanwhile, almost all parents tell their children, “It’s time to sleep!” or “Get to sleep now!” If a child is struggling, that can pressure them. Instead, say: “Let’s just see if you can rest.” Every child can rest. Rather than insist they sleep when you know they’re not ready, Espie asks: “How can my child have some quiet wakefulness?”

It’s essential to be a good role model, Meadows says. “You can’t expect your children to be off their devices if you’re sitting in bed watching Netflix, scrolling through your phone.”

Let your anxious seven-year-old sleep in your bed.

When primary-age children are anxious and sleepless, they often seek comfort in their parents’ beds. And many parents let them — for months. They often feel as if this is some failure. It’s the opposite, Espie says. No parent should feel guilty about this. Treating your child’s sleep issue as a shared responsibility takes effort and is the right thing to do. You’re guiding them towards better sleep habits. “This is about habit training,” he says.

In this situation, your child’s initial habit is struggling to settle and be awake alone in bed at night. They are stressed and need reassurance.” Letting him sleep with you solves that problem and breaks that habit.

Individuals often make assumptions about someone’s internal experiences, being identical for everyone, such as talking to themselves or seeing words in their heads as images.

According to psychology professor Russell Hurlburt, approximately 70% of people do not have one. However, if you are one of the ones that do not, don’t despair. He teaches this at the University of Nevada. “I’m convinced that inner speech is a robust phenomenon; if you use a proper method, there’s little doubt about whether inner speech is occurring at any given moment.

And I’m confident about the individual differences—some people talk to themselves a lot, some never, some occasionally.

An inner monologue happens when we use language but do not use our mouths; it’s merely thinking and hearing yourself without actually saying anything aloud.

Hurlburt concluded that only 30-50% of people had an inner monologue in a study that he carried out. Hurlburt took a sample of 30 students and then had them describe randomly selected experiences. 

“Five main characteristics emerged, each occurring in about a quarter of all samples (many samples had more than one characteristic). 

Three of those five characteristics may not surprise you: Inner speech occurred in about a quarter of all samples, inner seeing occurred in about a quarter of his specimens, and feelings only occurred throughout a quarter of all samples.”

Additionally, he said that subjects only experienced talking inwardly to themselves 26% of the time, and some never encountered it.

“Inner speech is the product of the default mode network of the brain,” explains Helene Brenner, a psychologist and creator of “My Inner Voice”. “It’s a network of different areas of the brain that become very active, all together, when we’re not engaged in doing anything task-oriented—when we’re just thinking or daydreaming. 

It also appears to be related to drug cravings, and it turns out it never entirely stops either—it just gets suppressed when we become more actively engaged. 

This phenomenon begins in childhood, as we develop language skills. Research believes that those who lack aphantasia (the ability to visualize) are tied into a lack of inner monologues. 

However, there are many theories about why- and more research is still being carried out.

Are you one of the few who have an inner monologue? Perhaps that little voice inside you speaks up every once in a while with tiny, insightful declarations. You would do well to listen to it with reflection and self-awareness. Let it be your friend and not your critic.

Though mental health issues are common among Gen Z, indi­vid­u­als born between 1995 and 2010 — are grow­ing up in an age of increased stress and anxiety. And been called the most depressed generation are more likely to seek mental health counselling or therapy than their older counterparts.

COVID-19 has significantly impacted on Generation Z. The pandemic has radically changed their educational and social experiences. The American Psychological Association explains that psychotherapy, also known as talk therapy, will help people of all ages live a happier and healthier life with the assistance of a psychologist.

Talk therapy is the most common type of therapy today for mental health. It has numerous benefits, from helping you break unhealthy habits to pinpointing triggers.

However, everyone has varying needs regarding

mental health, and talk therapy isn’t the only outlet for the many different areas of mental health. Here are seven unique types of therapy that can help you take care of your mental health.

ART THERAPY

Sometimes words can’t encapsulate what you genuinely feel, but art can. Art therapy uses creative expression to explore your inner emotions, ultimately fostering healing and increasing self-esteem, self-awareness, and emotional resilience. Art therapy comes in many forms, but the most common are colouring, collaging, painting, photography, and sculpting.  

SAND THERAPY

Sand therapy is precisely what it sounds like. Through sand trays, patients create images that reflect their inner emotions. The presence of sand helps increase patient emotional expression, while also decreasing negative feelings that might arise while discussing traumatic events. Psychotherapists use this technique to assess and treat mental illnesses through a less intimidating space. Sand therapy can be used in cooperation with talk therapy or art therapy. Sand play Therapists of America can help you find a therapist specialising in this treatment closest to you.

GESTALT THERAPY

Rather than talking about experiences, gestalt therapy encourages patients to re-enact them. This therapy helps you dive deeper and experience your feelings rather than just talking through them. After re-enacting, therapists will ask you questions like, “What is going on right now” or “How does this make you feel?” This therapy helps you become more aware of your senses, accept the consequences of your behaviour, and learn to fulfil your needs while respecting others. 

DANCE/MOVEMENT THERAPY

You’re not alone if you need a random dance party to get you through the day — I’m right there with you! You can dance it out in this therapy instead of talking it out. Dance/movement therapy utilises movement to promote social, emotional, and physical responses to improve health and well-being. It taps into psychological and behavioural issues that speaking can’t address. Through exploring your mind-body connection, dance/movement therapy can help you overcome depression and anxiety, combat eating disorders, improve body image, and relieve everyday stress.  

Techniques of this therapy include: 

• Mirroring is the movement of others to develop empathy or to see a reflection of your feelings.
• Using dance to demonstrate a struggle in your life as a way to work through it and celebrate your overcoming it.
• Make a gesture, the therapist told you to do, so you can observe it mindfully and become more aware of your body.

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Winter blues or seasonal affective disorder?

As many as one in five Americans report “winter blues” beginning around this time of year, making you feel more cranky and lethargic. For about one in twenty Americans, symptoms increase to a seasonal affective disorder (use the mnemonic word SAD to remember). 

It has been estimated that 10 to 15 per cent of Britons also struggle through Autumn and winter and suffer many of those symptoms, but are not clinically diagnosed as having depression.

A seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is caused by prolonged exposure to darkness and cold temperatures, and those shifts disrupt our neuroendocrine systems, particularly the hormones that regulate moods.

Traditionally, in the post-Agricultural era, human societies harvested crops in late summer and preserved foods in the fall or Autumn, depending on which side of the pond you lived.

Then pseudo-hibernation, staying comfortable and warm indoors with family in the winter. That annual cycle of birth, growth, harvesting and death is part of why so many societies have holidays relating to death, for example, in Día de Muertos, this time of year is the opportunity to remember loved ones who have died and honour their memory.

Sadly, for most current employment routes, less sunlight doesn’t typically equate to fewer working hours. Psychologists say that there is generally a sliding scale of seasonal sadness. At the lowest level, it makes us overeat, oversleep, and be grumpy.

Winter blues typically involve brief, low-level symptoms that don’t impact your day-to-day life. You might occasionally feel melancholic or tired, but those symptoms resolve quickly, if symptoms interfere with your ability to be productive and enjoy life during this stretch, seek help.

In contrast, you maintain typical mental health throughout most of the year but exhibit depressive symptoms simultaneously each year, most commonly in winter, thus only pointing towards A seasonal affective disorder.

Symptoms of a seasonal affective disorder include depression, listlessness, loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy, increased appetite (particularly craving carbohydrates and gaining weight), hopelessness or guilt, difficulty concentrating, weight gain, fatigue, excessive sleep and decreased sociality.

A point of curiosity, a high-sugar diet is associated with higher rates of mood and anxiety disorders and a tentative link to clinical depression. In disparity, sleeping well can work wonders in helping to boost our moods.

However, if these symptoms rise to a level where you feel you can’t control them with home remedies, or they disrupt your life to the point where you can’t function, it’s time to see a medical professional. You may need therapy, medication or other alternatives to help control your symptoms.

Strategies for seasonal affective disorder

Try light therapy

Brighten up your space

Create a routine

Get moving

Practice meditation and gratitude

Make a phone call that matters

Look on the bright side of life

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Self-talk: 

How often do you hear that little voice in your head tell you that you aren’t good enough? Negative self-talk can hinder your progress in life and hold you back from fulfilling your dreams. There are ways to turn your inner voice into a positive one.  Follow the ten tips below and create a new positive and pleasing voice that will build your confidence and improve your life.

Pledges:  

Positive affirmations can help program your mind to speak in a cheerful voice more often. They are positive statements written in the present tense. You should say them out loud first thing in the morning when you wake up and just before you go to sleep at night, as these are the times when your brain is most receptive. Regular repetition throughout the day will reinforce the positive pledge and help them to become second nature.

Awareness:  

It’s essential to be aware of that voice in your head. Listen to what and how it is talking to you. If it is constantly negative, then you need to take action to turn it into a supportive and positive voice. Listen carefully, and when you catch a malicious thought, turn it into an optimistic statement instead.

Meditation:

Regular contemplation can help you develop greater power over your thoughts and emotions. You will learn how to listen carefully and to quieten your inner voice. This will help you create a sense of calm and peace, lessening stress and anxiety. As you gain greater control over your mind, you will be able to silence the negative voice when it starts to speak.

Be Appreciative:   

Think of at least three things you are grateful for daily. It’s all too easy to lose yourself in the day’s negative aspects and give in to the negative voice in your head. Instead, focus on the positive and be grateful. Write them down in a journal to remember them and revisit them if needed.

Little acts of kindness, it suggested, are not only contagious but also restorative.

Change Your Mindset:  

Catastrophic thinking can be all too easy and take over in times of stress or anxiety. Instead of thinking of all the adverse outcomes, stand back and look at the problem from a different point of view. Creating a positive image within your mind will set up neural pathways to help you reach your goals. The more you reinforce this mental image, the more routes will be created. If information is available online to help you with your vision, use it to your advantage.

Distance Yourself: 

Create some distance between yourself and your emotions. A practical yet straightforward way to do this is to think in the third person. So instead of saying to yourself, “I’m angry with myself because…”, say, “You’re outraged.

Why?” A study by Ethan Kross, author of chatter, the voice in our heads, found that participants could regulate their emotions and reduce hurt by creating psychological distance.

Change the script

You are still getting caught up in negative thoughts. Listen to what you say, rephrase the thought more positively, challenge the negative assumptions, and look for solutions.

I don’t do that:  

One simple change you can make is to use the phrase “I don’t” instead of, “I can’t”. By saying “I don’t” you are taking responsibility and ownership of your thoughts. If you are trying to lose weight, then instead of saying, “I can’t eat cake” say, “I don’t eat cake”. The power of this approach was found in a study by Vanessa Patrick at the University of Houston.

Address your emotional and cognitive needs

When individuals need support, they are usually trying to fulfil two elements. These may be emotional needs or tangible advice about moving on or gaining closure. Managing both conditions is vital to your ability to calm the mind and reduce the inner chatter. 

Use Neuro-linguistic programming NLP, Coaching or Hypnotherapy:  

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People doubt themselves and their abilities. When it becomes a chronic situation, it can hold people back from getting what they want. Confidence will break through the barriers caused by obstacles.

You need to recognize when an obstacle is holding you back. Sometimes, people make excuses for their situations and pretend like they don’t exist.

For instance, you could be faced with a family member who has a substance abuse problem. It’s difficult to approach the person, and people ignore that a problem exists. They just keep pretending as if the person does not have a problem with the hope that the situation will resolve itself.

However, the person may be crying out for help and is looking for someone who has the courage to stand up to their addiction. If you are in that position, you may want to find ways to find that strength. The addict may resist you and may do so for some time.

But, if they know you care, and you keep at it to confront the situation, they do hear it deep down, especially if they really are looking to get help. You do have to be aware if they don’t want help, your efforts will not amount to much, unfortunately.

Self-doubt can also cripple you when others don’t have confidence in you. For instance, if your manager has reasons to doubt your abilities, he is constantly going to be harping on at you about your work.

This may cause you to doubt yourself and the situation will continue in a nasty loop. In such cases, you need to find out why he feels this way and try to work with him to help figure out what you can do to alleviate the situation.

Just having this meeting can show your manager you have confidence, which could be the catalyst to turn around the situation.

Confidence is going to be your greatest ally when trying to overcome self-doubt. This isn’t easy for everyone to come to grips with, and it does take courage. But, once you gain confidence, you will find there is no stopping you.

Dealing with most obstacles will become easier for you, which will lead to you succeeding more often. Many people find that after they get past a certain situation, they wondered why it took them as long as it did. It doesn’t matter, though.

As long as you eventually gain that confidence, you can make happen whatever you need to.

Constructive criticism is fine, but some people are so relentlessly negative that they can suck the joy out of life. No matter what happy news you might have, they are guaranteed to find the cloud to fit your silver lining. 

Here are 6 strategies you can use to deal with hypercritical people. 

Don’t Take It Personally

It’s a safe bet that it's not you, it's them. Some people just hug their negativity around them like a security blanket, and it colours their view of the world. They criticize everything because that suits them. Watch how they treat other people. It’s guaranteed, they criticize everybody, not just you. 

Listen to The Message

Is the person obscuring the message? Maybe your critical colleague or friend is tactless, or bad at expressing themselves rather than being mean. Try to see past the messenger to understand what is really being said, otherwise you might miss out on some valuable advice. 

Accept the Feedback

You can decide to make crucial feedback on its own merits. That is, as a source of honest feedback. At least with hypercritical people, what you see is what you get! If you can see past the blunt delivery, you may be able to find a kernel of truth that can improve the way you do things.

Deal with Your Discomfort

Criticism never feels good. Try to read your own discomfort as another source of information about what is being said. Does the negative feedback trigger a recognition deep within you? Maybe it subconsciously reminds you of a past event, but maybe there’s a ring of truth in the criticism. Sit with your discomfort and see what it’s telling you. 

If You Can’t Take the Heat, Stay Out of the Kitchen

If you can’t stand being criticized, then it’s up to you not to get into situations with people who are likely to criticize you. Don’t ask for advice or expose yourself to their negativity. They’re not likely to change, so you need to take control and avoid such conversations. Don’t share good news if you know they’ll throw cold water on it, and don’t seek their praise if you know you won’t get it. 

Stay Out of Their Way

You have a choice about how to deal with negative people. You can decide not to engage with their negativity, you can ignore them, or you can just avoid them altogether. If you must have contact with a negative person at work, for example, be helpful but don’t engage with them. Otherwise, it's up to you whether you want to have any contact with such negativity, or not. 

Personality traits are characteristic of enduring behavioural and emotional patterns rather than isolated occurrences.

Although all aspects of your personality stem from both nature and nurture, many models of personality types attempt to explain why we are the way we are.

People have probably been fascinated by personality traits since the first Homo sapiens roamed the earth. The first profound personality test was created in 1915, during the First World War. 

Robert Woodworth’s “Psychoneurotic Inventory” was the forerunner of personality tests such as the Myers-Briggs test. 

Such personality qualities seem more consistent over time, being heavily loaded genetically. Five of the most studied factors that genetically influence someone’s personality: Extraversion, Agreeableness, Openness, Conscientiousness, and Neuroticism.  

Whereas, personality traits are the most common way we tend to describe human behaviour in people. According to Goldberg's five factors of personality, OCEAN model. We all have a combination of the five traits.

(Openness, Conscientiousness,  Extraversion,  Agreeableness, Neuroticism) or you could use the mnemonic CANOE instead, depending on your nautical preference.

It is important to note that each of the five primary personality traits suggested could represent a range between two polar extremes with the Jungian dichotomy. 

For instance, extraversion represents a continuum between extreme extraversion and extreme introversion. In the real world, most people lie somewhere in between.  

The five factors are not necessarily traits in and of themselves, but factors in which many related traits and characteristics fit.

For example, the factor agreeableness encompasses terms like generosity, amiability, and warmth on the positive side and aggressiveness and temper on the negative side. All of these traits and characteristics (and many more) make up the broader factor of agreeableness.

For example, those with the extraversion trait are described as outgoing, talkative, and gregarious. Conversely, introversion is a preference for solitary or limited social situations. It’s worth noting, though, that most people are ambiverts - enjoying their own company occasionally and social experiences at other times.

This is a tendency to be reliable, self-disciplined, and organized. Somebody high in conscientiousness may be a perfectionist, stubborn, and obsessed with neatness to an extreme degree, while those at the other end may be careless, undisciplined, and impulsive.

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Expecting the worst to happen in any situation can harm your mental health. How do we stop this unhealthy thinking

Imagine you’ve applied for a dream appointment and have now been nominated for the second round of interviews. Do you celebrate your progress and start preparing for the new challenge? Or do you immediately start imagining a rejection, agonising over what it will do to your self-esteem? “If I bomb this, I’m a total loser,” you tell yourself. 

Or perhaps you’re waiting for a reply to a message to a buddy. When you don’t receive an immediate response, you start imagining how you might have offended the person – without even considering the possibility that they are just occupied with some other task. 

Maybe it’s global events that concern you. You spend hours every night ruminating on the threat of nuclear war, the emergence of another deadly virus or the likelihood of an economic recession. The devastation it could cause for you and your loved ones keeps playing out in your mind’s eye. 

If any of these situations feel familiar, you might be susceptible to catastrophising: a cognitive pattern in which you overestimate the chances of something terrible happening and exaggerate the potential negative consequences of that scenario. 

“It’s a negatively skewed way of thinking, which elevates the intensity of emotions to levels that are hard to manage, and in some circumstances, they are overwhelming,” explains Patrick, a psychologist in Alberta, Canada. 

Plentiful studies show catastrophising can seriously threaten mental health and amplify feelings of distress accompanying conditions such as chronic pain. Catastrophising can occur at any point in our lives – but the lingering fears of Covid-19, combined with the pressing political and economic uncertainty, could undoubtedly exacerbate the tendency. 

Finding ways to break those toxic thinking cycles should bolster anyone’s resilience – and there may be no better time to learn. 

Sigmund Freud

Psychologists’ understanding of catastrophising as a severe risk factor for mental illness stems from the birth of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. 

For the first half of the 20th Century, psychoanalysis – developed by Sigmund Freud and others – had been the primary means of tackling mental illness. The aim was to uncover suppressed fears and desires – often resulting from early childhood and sexual events – that created psychological conflict.

Continued research shows that catastrophic thinking seriously contributes to many other anxiety disorders.

By the middle of the Century, however, psychotherapists such as Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck had started to look for alternative ways of guiding people through their distress. Rather than exhume hidden psychological conflict, they focused on people’s conscious thought processes by targeting the maladaptive thinking patterns or “cognitive distortions” that could lead to distress. 

Right from the outset, catastrophising was identified as a potentially crucial cognitive distortion – with Beck writing about its potential role in phobias. For example, someone with a fear of flying might interpret a slight rattle in the cabin as a sign of a technical fault. If they were less prone to catastrophising, they might notice that the cabin crew looked unalarmed. Still, a catastrophiser would assume that the staff weren’t paying attention – and as the ominous sound continued, they would start imagining the awful ways they might die. 

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Robert Burney once coined the term “co-dependent” in the 1940s and defined it as someone who depends on another person to meet their emotional needs. Co-dependency is putting somebody else’s needs before your own. Thereby, being co-dependent is hardly the same thing as simply being dependent. A co-dependent person may feel responsible for the happiness or well-being of others — especially if they have experienced abuse or neglect growing up. This term was widely used in the 1950s in the context of Alcoholics Anonymous, and Co-dependency is often found in alcoholic families.

The word co-dependent was originally employed as synonymous with the earlier term enabler. As it was broadly defined, within Alcoholics Anonymous that assisted problem drinkers were then hidden by enablers that made excuses for them by minimizing or denying the many repercussions of their dysfunctional behaviour to maintain the family secret. The enabler or co-dependant supported—or at least enabled but tolerated their behaviour

Since then, it has been applied not only to addictions in general but well beyond that to other types of mental health and behavioural problems, including domestic violence and emotional abuse.

Just to clarify, Co-dependent means “dependent upon another person who has a power imbalance in the relationship.” It describes someone who relies too heavily on others to meet their needs. People with co-dependency problems tend to focus on what they need from others rather than on what others need.

They often feel responsible for making sure everyone else is happy and satisfied, which leads to feelings of guilt and self-doubt. In this way, the underlying issue with co-dependency isn’t really that you care too much, but rather, that you don't care enough by losing sight of your own values and desires.

While your relationship is based upon love and feeling responsible for them, it is unhealthy when your individuality is dependent upon someone else. They then sacrifice themselves to make sure their significant other is happy by maintaining an unhealthy relationship. It goes without saying that it is nice knowing you’re being supportive, and it feels positive knowing you’re contributing to someone else’s success and happiness. Unfortunately, you can lose sight of your own values, responsibilities, needs and desires by adopting the role of a caretaker.

A key question to ask in any relationship are you concerned with your companion’s development (“altruism”), as well as decreased respect for oneself (“selflessness”). Every relationship will have an element of sacrifice, and your willingness to sacrifice for your relationship shows that you care for your partner. A partner who feels loved and cared for is more likely to reciprocate with loving-kindness towards you in building a healthy relationship. In healthy partnerships, altruism is a two-way street. Consequently, individuals who are prepared emotionally to make sacrifices for others are often regarded as victims or altruistic

Co-dependency in a relationship usually occurs when one of the partners has a personality disorder, you might find yourself stuck in a toxic relationship.

There is often an attraction between individuals with co-dependent inclinations and those with narcissistic tendencies. Narcissists, with their ability to get others to “buy into their vision” and help them make it a reality, seek and attract partners who will put others’ needs before their own.

In this case, the prey tends to be people-pleasers, thriving on helping others (or even thinking they may ‘fix’ them). The target might fulfil their need to be needed—and thus valued by another. When caring for another person stops you from meeting your own needs, or if your self-worth depends on being needed, you may be heading down the co-dependency. Learn more

So many terms have been used to indicate the inner voice, also known as inner monologue, internal dialogue, inner speech, verbal thoughts and the voice or chatter inside your head.

Does Everyone Have an Inner Voice?

In most cases, the term “inner voice” refers to the constant stream of thoughts that run through our heads. 

Such thoughts are a sort of conversation with themselves in their mind. For those individuals who talk to themselves, the phenomenon is called Inner speech having most of the same characteristics as external speech except that no external sounds are produced: it can proceed at the same rate of speed and pitch, with the same emotion as external speech. 

Inner speech is frequent but not for everyone, and those thoughts can be positive or negative, depending on whether they serve us or harm you. 

For example, if you are anxious about a test, your inner voice will tell you that you will fail. Such thoughts will cause stress and anxiety, negatively affecting your performance and ultimately becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

Some individual differences exist—some people talk to themselves a lot, some never, and some occasionally.

We all have a voice in our head in some shape or form, and most people are conscious of an inner voice that provides a running monologue throughout their lives. This inner voice, or self-talk, combining conscious thoughts and unconscious beliefs and biases, providing a way for the brain to interpret and process daily experiences, is then considered a hypothetical doorway between the self and the physical world.

Another skill that appears linked to inner speech is silent reading. While children learning to read often need to read aloud. The brain’s two hemispheres are not identical twins, with the dominant left supervising inner speech and the right hemisphere observing social speech as an articulatory rehearsal. 

It shouldn’t be surprising to learn that articulatory rehearsal in dementia is disrupted, along with inner speech. A case study was taken over two decades ago on a 69-year-old man with dementia. During this period, the patient started reading aloud at bedtime, annoying his wife. His voice was thunderous, and it was difficult for him to stop. Moreover, he often spoke aloud to himself during the day or suddenly began singing, all features very unusual for him. Suggesting a prefrontal inhibitory role in the control of inner speech via an early loss of speechless reading was an initial indication of early onset frontotemporal dementia due to executive dysfunction caused by frontal lobe damage. 

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In most cases, dementia is connected to Alzheimer's disease. 

Unfortunately, its symptoms often go unnoticed until they become too severe to treat. If left untreated, Alzheimer's disease (AD) can eventually result in death, and early detection and treatment could help prevent or slow down the progression of the disease.

New research published in The Lancet shows that those who experience frequent night terrors are at greater risk for developing Alzheimer's disease later in life.

The prevalence of dementia has increased with life expectancy: more than one-third of individuals over 80 are likely to develop dementia. 

Approximately 5% of adults experience nightmares weekly, becoming more frequent with advancing age.

A study saw that distressing dreams become more common years or even decades before thinking and memory problems set in.

People who had weekly nightmares from 34 to 64 were four times more likely to suffer cognitive decline over the next ten years.

People aged 79 and over were twice as likely to be diagnosed with dementia if they also had recurring bad dreams, with the link strongest in men.

We've shown for the first time that disturbing dreams, or nightmares, may increase the risk of developing Alzheimer's disease and cognitive decline later in life.  Because there are so few risk factors for Alzheimer's that can be detected before people reach their 50s, we consider that dream disturbances could be one of them.

While further study is needed to confirm these links, 

we believe that nightmares may be an effective method for identifying people likely to develop Alzheimer's disease and putting strategies to slow down its development in place.  

The cohort study examined data from three groups of people in the US. 

At the beginning of the study, all participants were free of dementia and Parkinson's disease and were tested for episodic memory impairment.  Afterwards, they were asked about their sleep quality, and these measures were compared with test scores indicating their cognitive function.

Those with frequent nightmares were five times more likely to acquire Alzheimer's disease than those without them.  In females, the increased risk was reduced to 41%. They predicted a strong association between cognitive decline and dementia among men. 

If somebody can graphically remember their dreams, it might indicate they are at risk.

What if we could spot dementia before symptoms started? The hope is to recognise the disease before the cognitive deficits have reached the prodromal stage of dementia, before irreversible brain damage or mental decline. Mild cognitive symptoms appear, but they do not interfere with daily activities, and this may be tricky to distinguish from normal ageing or dementia. 

However, these findings align with several recent investigations that showed disturbing nightmares also predict faster cognitive decline and dementia in people with Parkinson's. 

However, this association is not just specific to individuals with Parkinson's disease and can be inferred to the general population.

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These include major depressive disorder (MDD) and dysthymia, both considered forms of clinical depression.

While some people experience depression throughout their lives, others develop symptoms later in life, and this is especially true for women who tend to experience depression earlier than men.

Because women are nearly twice as likely as men to suffer from depression, they often don't seek treatment due to the belief their symptoms are typical or that they should get over it.

We asked a psychologist who has treated women with depression for many years to share some essential facts on this matter.

While the exact causes of depression remain unknown, gender distinctions between males and females play a role in why some women develop depression earlier than men. Women are almost twice as likely as men to be diagnosed with depression because of their unique social and hormonal characteristics.

What are some early signs of depression in females?

The signs of depression are often subtle and complex to recognise in women due to cultural norms and societal expectations.

Depression is common in young girls and women because they face challenges such as body image issues, social isolation, or academic stress.

Many women don't recognise key signs of depression, making it harder to get timely support.

Depression can improve with the proper treatment, including therapy, medication, or both.

One noteworthy misbelief about depression is that it's a "normal part of being a woman." This notion may be rooted in the fact that depression commonly affects women.

Approximately one in eight American women will develop clinical depression during their lifetime. Moreover, women are almost twice as likely as men to experience symptoms of depression, which may be due to certain societal, hormonal, and biological factors unique to women.

Women often face extraordinary challenges, such as dealing with pregnancy or childbirth and balancing work and family responsibilities. These issues contribute to women's anxiety, stress, and depression rates.

Women who experience depression also tend to exhibit specific behavioural changes, such as decreased appetite, fatigue, sleep disturbance, psychomotor agitation or retardation, feelings of worthlessness, guilt, diminished ability to concentrate, and suicidal ideation.

Here are six things that women living with depression need to know.

1. The key signs aren't always obvious

Some symptoms of depression in women are easier to spot — like changes in appetite or sleeping habits, irritability, or feelings of hopelessness.

However, your loved ones may brush this off or fail to notice other crucial symptoms. 

These symptoms include:

Anhedonia: This symptom refers to an inability to get enjoyment from activities that previously interested or inspired you. Given that many women toil with feeling exhausted and overworked, this meaningful sign of depression is often confused with burnout or lack of sleep.

Diminished interest in sexual activity

Drinking extensively: 

Isolation: 

Retail therapy: 

2. It won't necessarily derail your life completely

3. Depression triggers may relate to your circumstances

4. Depression can set in during certain life stages

Prenatal depression

Uncomfortable bodily changes, hormonal shifts, and intense planning that come with pregnancy can be overwhelming for expecting mothers — particularly if you

Most maternal-mortality statistics exclude suicide and self-harm

Postpartum depression (Blues)

Perimenopausal depression

5. Changing habits that fuel depression can be difficult to notice

6. Depression is highly treatable

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Friendship is a crucial element in protecting our mental health and well-being. Thereby allowing you to share positive experiences and provide emotional support when needed. Friendships can range from close relationships and family attachment to co-workers or casual acquaintances. Even simple interactions alleviate loneliness and make us feel better. 

Have you ever thought about what makes a perfect friend?  

It might not seem like the most pressing issue, but knowing what characteristics make a good friend can profoundly impact your life. It lets you know how you should act to be a better friend to the people in your life. At the same time, it also teaches you what you should expect from somebody in your life. If you are interested in knowing what makes a good friend, then please start with these essential traits all suitable friends should have: 

They Have Your Back

When someone has your back, they are there to support you unconditionally. A good friend will have your back through challenging situations or prevent you from being “blindsided”. It’s easy to be friends with someone when everything is good, but who will be there when you fall into hard times? The people who stick by you in those periods are good friends, and your life is greatly enhanced. 

They Are Unrestricted

Echoing an old English proverb, “A friend in need is a friend indeed”. 

A friend doesn’t have to be available at all times for your every whim, but they should be available when you need them. A true friend will help you when you need it. We are all very busy with our own lives, but if you have a friend you love, you make at least some time for them. 

They Listen

All good friendships need a little give and take. Good friends listen as much as they talk. They don’t just focus on telling you all their problems; they actively listen to you. Listening and thoughtfully responding is a hallmarks of a great friendship. 

They Accept Who You Are

You are lovely, just the way you are. A good friend will recognise that, and they will embrace your authentic self and not judge you on their emotional decisions. A good friend should support your options if you aren’t hurting yourself. 

They Are Fun to Be Around

A good friend doesn’t have to be a non-stop party, but it should be fun. It would be best if you looked forward to seeing a good friend because you enjoy spending time with them. Of course, there will be painful events along the way, but you should be happy to be around your friends in general. 

They Are Dependable 

How can you be good friends with someone if you don’t depend on them? Without trust, there is no close friendship. You should feel equally comfortable sharing your secrets, no matter how annoying they can be. A good friend will gain your confidence and respect it. 

They Tell Us The Truth

When it comes down to it, one of the most admirable traits is truthfulness, and they say that honesty is the best policy. Honesty is essential for any relationship in your life. A good friend is no different, and they should respect you enough to be candid with you. This might even mean they must be brutally honest with you when needed — friendships and relationships last through honesty.

Compassion

Studies suggest that acts of giving and kindness can help improve your mental well-being by creating positive feelings and a sense of reward.

People enjoy doing something for someone they like. 

It is so much more enjoyable to spend time with kind individuals. Your friends might get your offensive jokes, but they should treat you with kindness at the end of the day. Even better is if your friend is thoughtful to everyone, which is a good sign, they will make a good friend. This leads to the following characteristic, agreeableness.

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Fear. It’s more than a reaction to a scary film. Fear is a deep-seated emotion that leads to anxiety and worries, with the added component of adrenaline guaranteed to keep your heart in your throat and your palms sweaty. Fear can also be crippling, taking over your mind, body, and soul.

But did you know there’s more to fear than meets the eye? If you think you understand fear, read on to discover seven truths about the fear you might not have realized.

Fear Can Be Good for You

There are times in our lives when we’re supposed to be afraid. Fear is what keeps us from jumping off of cliffs and doing other things that might hurt us. Fear also alerts us to danger, helping us to stay safe.

Fear Has Levels

Fear ranges from feeling a moment of trepidation all the way to full-on panicked flight. The level you’re at is determined by the type of danger you perceive.

You’re Not Born with Fear

Fear is generally taught by experience and from the lessons given by those around us through observation. You also learn fear from your parents and teachers when they teach us things like “Stranger Danger” or how to cross a street safely. Some fears are perfectly reasonable, rational, and necessary, while others, like phobias, might be unrealistic and even ridiculous.

Fear Doesn’t Need Danger

Phobias, anxiety and catastrophizing can be the result of the poor teaching you’ve had in your life. In more extreme cases, you can suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or panic attacks, which might seem to come out of nowhere.

Fear Feeds on Itself

If you’re already afraid, you can wind yourself up easily into a higher state of fear. The more you concentrate on it, the bigger it grows.

Fear Likes to Be in Charge

Fear is one of those emotions which wants to dictate what you’re going to do next. The problem is, that we tend to let it. Fear is a strong motivator to do things. The problem? Sometimes the things fear would have us do are unnecessary or might even hold us back from trying something new.

Fear Builds Heroes

When you’re afraid and act anyway, you discover the secret to courage. This is where heroes are born. The bigger the fear, the more heroic the fight. So, don’t let fear hold you back. Become the hero you’ve always been meant to be.

I’m sure you’ve heard about mental health issues before. And yes, they affect millions of us every year. But did you know that over half of us may experience some mental disorder at least once during our lifetime?

Mental illness can be depicted as a disease which causes an individual to experience severe disturbances in their moods, thoughts, emotions, behaviours, or ability to function at work or home. You may be familiar with several mental illnesses, including anxiety disorders, depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, eating disorders, personality disorders, etc. Research has shown that these conditions often go undiagnosed or untreated for years.

Mental illnesses are common and can be tough to understand, and they’re also something that we don’t often talk about. We live among people who struggle with mental illness; in many cases, they have little support or understanding from those around them.

Mental illnesses affect an individual’s mind and emotions. Emotions play a significant role in our lives and influence our moods, behaviour, and decisions. They can impact an individual’s ability to think, process information and feelings, behave appropriately, respond to situations, and take care of oneself. Even though someone may seem functional on the outside, it might be much more challenging on the inside.

Mental illness can make life miserable. For some individuals, this means they’re depressed or anxious all day long, and others may experience hallucinations or delusions. Some people live their lives feeling trapped by these symptoms.

Many people conceal their struggles with mental illness because they are concerned about how others will view them or are fearful that others won’t understand what they are experiencing and, therefore, won’t be supportive of them. This article will outline some common mental illnesses and tips for friends and family members who may be concerned about someone they know struggling with these problems.

Many people don’t realise that there are different types of mental illnesses, some of which are just as common as depression or anxiety. But the most important thing to remember is that mental illnesses are not just a label; they are genuine and must be treated.

It is necessary to know what mental illness you might be suffering from.

Let’s take a closer look at six specific diagnoses you could observe or encounter in society these days.

Depression

Depression is a prevalent mental illness and affects around 16% of adults in the United States. Depression is a long-term condition characterised by sadness and hopelessness, withdrawal from social interactions, changes in appetite and sleep, loss of energy, low self-esteem, and thoughts of self-harm.

In general, people with depression are not interested in being active or going out; they may feel anxious, guilty, hopeless, worthless, angry, sad, unmotivated, lonely, or agitated. They may also experience sleep problems. 

If you are worried about someone who may be struggling with depression or other mental illnesses, it is essential to remember that everyone experiences emotions differently. Some people might feel lonely or isolated, while others might display hostile behaviours such as aggression or violence. It’s important to recognise the signs that someone may be struggling with these issues, so they can be supported. If you notice something like these signs in your friend or family member, try talking to them and encouraging them to talk about their struggles without making assumptions about what they are dealing with.

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I am sure most of us consider ourselves to be honest people. Outside of the odd white lie, we find it difficult to lie to our friends and loved ones. This makes it all the more confusing than that we find it so easy to lie to ourselves. You might have bristled at this thought, huffed, and thought, "I do no such thing!" 

The nine lies below are common lies we tell ourselves. Sometimes they are harmless, but often they hold us back from reaching our goals.

1.   I'll Get to It Eventually

How many times have you told yourself this, then failed to "get to it"? If you are like most of us - plenty of times! It is much better to set a specific deadline for all of your tasks. Alternatively, you could just do it now as well.

2.   I Can't Escape my Past

Many of us have skeletons in our closets, or if not, the trauma that we never properly dealt with. The reality is you can get over your past. Your past doesn't define you. You might have to work a little harder or work on yourself, but you can get past your past.

3.   There is Something Wrong With Me

Have you ever felt like such a failure that you assume there must be something wrong with you? This a powerful lie that can hold you back from even trying to accomplish your goals. Whether you are different, struggling, or even failing, that is the circumstance. That isn't who you inherently are as a person.

4.   I Know Exactly What I am Doing

A self-confidence is a powerful tool in your arsenal. Sometimes it even helps to fake confidence! That said, we need to be careful not to go overboard. There is nothing wrong with being honest that you need some help because you don't know what you are doing.

5.   I Would be Happy If Only...

I know it's easy to focus on what you want or think you need for happiness, but it rarely works out that way. Even if you acquire what you think you need to be happy, you will just move the goalposts further and think about something else. You need to figure out how to be happier on your terms.

6.   I am Too Busy to...

While this is true sometimes, and especially true for people who are working and raising a family, a lot of the time, it isn't. Downtime is important, but almost all of us waste time in some fashion. Take an honest appraisal of your day, and you will likely find some extra time to spare.

7.   I Can Change Him/Her

I bet a couple of you are nodding in agreement about this one! Many of us have this moment where we meet someone we like, but they are toxic to be around. You think that with enough love and caring, you can change this person. We always find out that we can't. It isn't even our job to try and change someone else. That's on them.

8.   I'm Too Old To...

I heard a 25-year-old the other day say they were too old to do something. I had never felt older. The reality is, that we can still do almost anything we want as we age. It's never too late to go back to school or change careers. It's not too late to take chances. It's never too late for you to try and live the life you dream about.

9.   I'm a Failure

While all of us will deal with failure at one time, that does not make us failures. Failure is something we deal with; it isn't something we are. If you feel like a born loser that always fails, try to focus on your wins. We all have some wins in our lives, no matter how small they may seem. Also, failing is good - it is the best way to learn about yourself. 

If you’re having trouble sleeping well or feeling anxious most days, you probably aren’t alone because over 40 million Americans yearly suffer from anxiety disorders. 

Excessive worry has become common for many people today, and it affects their ability to sleep well, perform daily tasks, concentrate, or enjoy social interactions—and that’s not healthy!

There’s an evolutionary reason behind anxiety. Anxiety is basically preparing our brains and bodies to escape potential danger, an evolutionary mechanism that has helped humans survive as long as they have. Anxiety, coupled with fear, is often necessary for a specific event. 

For example, if we’re confronted with a lion, it may help us to run much faster than we would without any form of anxiety or dread. Parts of the brain are evolutionarily wired for our survival. Because of this, we sometimes still perceive many non-life-threatening cases as “life-or-death situations,” as if a sabre tooth tiger were chasing us down in the urban jungle. Furthermore, the brain’s emotional system is also hardwired to respond in an emotionally set way to life-and-death situations.

The amygdala is one part of the limbic system involved in emotion. It has been shown that when people are exposed to threatening stimuli (such as images or sounds), while their amygdala may be stimulated unconsciously, they experience fear.

What are some signs that your anxiety levels are too high?

With so much happening in our lives today, we tend to worry a lot. Worry can take many forms, including irrational fears, overthinking, and worrying too much about things that may never happen. Learning to manage these feelings and not let them control you is crucial.

It’s natural to feel occasional anxiety.

Some anxiety levels can be helpful, as they provide a “red flag” that something is meaningful in our lives and worth giving more awareness to. 

For example, mild anxiety about an upcoming exam can serve as a reminder that this event is ‘out there,’ and we can use that anxiety to our advantage by ensuring we study for the exam.

The effects of prolonged anxiety, however, can be detrimental to both our physical and mental health. If you experience the following signs and symptoms more often than not for at least a couple of weeks, you may be experiencing more anxiety than is healthy with significant changes in sleep and appetite, muscle tension, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, and frequent worrying and rumination.

If excessive worry negatively impacts your social activities, work, or relationships with others, you may have too high a stress level.

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Did you know that the ancient Chinese symbol for “crisis” is precisely the same as the symbol for “opportunity?”

Seeing problems as opportunities is the best way to succeed in business and life. It’s a matter of perspective, so shouldn’t you adopt the mindset that will lead to success and not failure?

Problems, change, and stress are all part of everyone’s life, and no one is exempt. Adaptability means seeing these things as usual. Successful people develop a mental toughness which causes them to see adversities and failures as ways to learn lessons and improve.

They expect challenges so that even before the challenges occur, they intend to face them and find solutions.

There are two ways to adapt to situations: the first is to adapt ourselves to circumstances beyond our control, and the second is to adapt to situations that are better for us. One of these two options provides the solution to most problems, so you want to alter either yourself or the case in the most productive, worthwhile way.

Adaptability is a choice, and it’s you making up your mind to be flexible, responsive, analytical, and solution-oriented. Being adaptive instead of fighting the issue means giving yourself the liberty to take action to find a solution. Choosing to be adaptive means you’re the victor and not the victim. How adaptable are you?

Here are some techniques to help you increase your adaptive talents:

1. How’s your sense of humour? It can be a great ally for you. One of the things witty helps you do is to get some perspective on yourself and your situation. Humour can help you see the fun in the situation when you make a mistake and make it easier for you to learn from it.

2. How well do you control your negative emotions? Negative emotions can get you into a lot of trouble. When you’re in a stressful situation, try to remove yourself until you have your emotions under control. When you’re calmer, deal with the problem.

3. Do you see change as standard, or does it throw you into a loop? Evaluate the way you react to unexpected events. Make a conscious effort to take changes in stride. This is a skill you can learn, and it will help you in many different ways.

4. How good are you at saying “No”? If you’re stressed because you’ve overcommitted yourself, it’s harder to adapt to situations as they arise. Make your schedule work for you, not against you. Learn to say “No,” calmly and firmly when needed.

5. Is your life way too complicated? Learn to simplify your life. Get rid of clutter and distractions that wear you out and get in the way. Decide what’s essential to you and what you want to do with your time, and concentrate on that.

When you experience a violent storm, it’s easy to rail against the weather. The wind and the rain can seem terrifying, especially when coupled with the crash of thunder and the bright crackle of lightning splitting the sky. But ask any farmer, and they’ll tell you that even storms have their benefits. The rain is necessary for their crops. And believe it or not, lightning, when it strikes the ground, puts nitrogen into the soil so badly needed for things to grow.

Likewise, conflict in the workplace has certain benefits that we don’t always see initially. Please keep reading to find several of them you might not have considered before now.

If heatwaves were named as storms to highlight the risk they pose, the dangers would be more widely recognised. Indeed, one in Europe in 2017 got more attention when it was nicknamed Lucifer, which kills many more people each year in the UK than in any storm.

Heat exposure has also been linked with an increased risk of death or disability among children, older adults, people with chronic medical conditions and those who are obese.

The heatwave that swept through Europe in the summer of 2003 caused an excess of deaths over the normal seasonal average. Extreme heat exposure can be dangerous for those already vulnerable to the heat, such as the elderly or those living in poorly ventilated buildings.

In addition, excessive heat exposure is linked to increased crime rates, domestic violence incidents, and increased instances of road traffic accidents. In the UK, for example, one in six deaths is attributable to extreme heat.

With temperatures in the United Kingdom breaking records this month, what is the impact of heat waves on your health? Because higher temperatures can pose additional challenges for individuals with Physical and Mental Health conditions. Roughly 1,000 to 3,000 people die every year as a result of heat.

Stress-related conditions that are increased by heat waves are known as psychosocial stressors. These include the subjective experience of a perceived threat from hot weather and the social impact of staying outside during these conditions.

The public health implications can be demonstrated by the fact that these psychosocial stressors often result in higher rates of anxiety, depression, aggression, addiction and suicide during extreme heat.

Are heatwaves a consideration for your mental health?

“In recent years, there’s been an increasingly large body of research showing us that heatwaves exacerbate outcomes for those with underlying psychiatric illnesses,” says Dr Laurence Wainwright, (University of Oxford UK).

Rates of suicides go up, and for those with existing conditions, symptoms can be intensified” he adds, noting that for people with conditions such as bipolar disorder, extreme heat can trigger manic phases.

Prof Tahseen Jafry, Glasgow Caledonian University, said: “With increased temperature rises, there is evidence to show that there are more frequent visits to hospitals for mental health, mental illnesses and behavioural and mood disorders.”

A study published in 2007 found a 3.8% increase in suicide rates for every 1C rise in average temperature above 18C. Researchers also found that higher temperatures are associated with increased aggression and violence – possibly due to the impact on various hormones – and can affect cognitive function, leaving people feeling fuzzy-headed. In Australia, where suicide rates were found to be higher on days when temperatures reached above 20 °C (68 °F).

How does heat affect mental health?

https://mentalhealthtraining.info/health-and-wellness/heatwave

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Globally, it has been estimated that the prevalence among adults of current headache disorder is approximately 50%. Half to three-quarters of adults aged 18–65 worldwide have had a headache in the last year.

Primary headaches

Migraine, or tension headaches, are among the most common primary headaches that lead people to seek medical treatment, and they affect an estimated 3 billion people each year.

This type of headache isn’t a symptom of any disease, but a condition on its own. It is a “primary headache“ because it is the main concern. Often, stress and disruptions in your sleep patterns cause these headaches. 

Secondary headaches

Secondary headaches manifest as a symptom of another health disorder.  Different types of illnesses and disorders can cause a headache, including:

• Infection 
• Medication Overuse
• High Blood Pressure
• Mental Health Conditions
• Head Injury or Trauma
• Stroke
• Tumour
• Nerve Disorders
• Sinus Congestion

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Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a condition marked by a pattern of grandiosity, fixation on power fantasies, desire for admiration, arrogance, lack of empathy, and envy. Individuals with NPD may be overly sensitive to criticism, though they may hide their fragile self-esteem behind a self-important exterior.

NPD is the second most prevalent personality disorder, affecting about 6.2% of the population1. It is one of ten personality disorders listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). Along with histrionic, antisocial, and borderline personality disorders, NPD is a Cluster B disorder, which causes affected individuals to appear erratic, emotional, or dramatic.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Symptoms

Though symptoms may manifest in different ways, people with NPD experience at least five of the following:

• Inflated sense of self-importance
• Preoccupation with fantasies of power, beauty, or ideal love
• The belief that they are unique and should only associate with other special or high-status people and institutions
• Requires admiration
• Unreasonable entitlement
• Takes advantage of others
• Lacks empathy
• Envious of others, or believing that others are envious of them
• Arrogant behaviours or attitudes

Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Other Signs

Though the DSM symptoms are used to diagnose NPD, the following associated features may help clinicians support a diagnosis. These can include:

• Low self-esteem. Despite their outwardly arrogant presentation, people with NPD often have low self-esteem. They are vulnerable to injuries to their egos and may become angry or humiliated.
• Unwillingness to engage in potentially humiliating tasks. Because of their low self-esteem, people with NPD are hesitant to struggle publicly.
• Eating disorders. Because some people with NPD rely on external validation, they are susceptible to developing eating disorders to increase their perceived self-worth.
• Substance abuse. Though there is an established link between substance use disorder and NPD, there is no consensus on a specific cause. There are likely varied reasons that people with NPD develop substance use disorders.

Grandiose vs Vulnerable Narcissism

Though both the DSM-5 and popular ideas of narcissism centre on open arrogance, NPD researchers identify two different subgroups: grandiose and vulnerable.

Grandiose narcissism is the familiar self-important expression of narcissism. Grandiose narcissists will be more likely to display narcissistic traits such as:

• Entitlement
• Manipulation of others
• Overt arrogance
• Aggression
• Anger/Rage

Vulnerable narcissism is a less understood aspect of narcissism, but one that research is beginning to consider. Vulnerable narcissism is covert narcissism, as many symptoms are not readily visible to outside observers. Vulnerable narcissists do not have grandiose self-esteem and are sensitive to rejection or criticism. Though vulnerable narcissists do still have grandiose fantasies and believe they are somehow “special,” they display different symptoms, such as:

• Shyness
• Shame
• Few meaningful relationships due to fear of rejection
• Hyper-vigilance
• Need for outside approval
• Low self-esteem

Negativity affects your life on every level. It can ruin relationships, decrease work performance, and increase stress levels. The good news is that you can fight it by changing your mindset. 

Not sure where to start? Listen to the following bright, effective ways to protect yourself from negativity:

Don't Take It Personally. 

Most people act in a certain way based on their previous experiences and current circumstances. Perhaps someone took credit for your colleague's work in the past, so now he doesn't trust his team anymore. That doesn't mean he has something against you; he doesn't trust people in general. 

Stop taking things personally. If someone is misjudging you, prove to them that they are wrong. Be kind and authentic rather than stressing over it. 

 Personal Boundaries 

No matter how hard you try, you'll never be able to please everyone. On the contrary - people will always come up with new demands and take advantage of your kindness. That can undermine your self-esteem and keep you from focusing on your priorities. 

Learn to say No and set clear boundaries. If someone reacts negatively or tries to hurt you, move on. That person isn't worth your time or attention. 

A true friend will understand that you have other things to do and are unavailable around the clock. 

Embrace a Positive Mindset 

Be grateful for what you have, and then seek ways to achieve more. Start a gratitude journal and write a few things every day. That will reinforce positive thinking patterns and reduce negativity. 

Your positive attitude will also inspire others and strengthen your relationships. The more you focus on the good in your life, the more opportunities will arise. 

Find Solutions, Not Problems 

Most people tend to focus on their problems instead of actively seeking solutions, resulting in feelings of guilt and dissatisfaction. 

Whenever you have a problem, take the steps needed to solve it. The longer you wait, the more obstacles you'll face along the way. 

Stay away from people who make a drama out of everything. They're only wasting your time and energy, and their negativity will affect you sooner or later. 

Surround yourself with positivity. Build relationships with people who encourage and support you. 

Remember that people don't care much about what you say or do. Focus on whatever makes you happy and stop feeding the surrounding negativity. Once you take these steps, you'll be more comfortable and see new opportunities that you'd otherwise have missed.

When we see someone manifesting self-respect, we unconsciously respect them more. Conversely, it is harder to respect someone who exhibits little respect for themselves.

While on the surface, it is reasonable to assume that everyone deserves respect, this is tempered by the fact that many people do things that make them undeserving of the connection of other people.

Our self-respect is not a gift, nor is it fixed. We can strengthen our self-esteem by our thinking and our actions. It can also be diminished, even crushed, by our behaviours, and how these subsequently make us feel about ourselves.

Other people also can affect our self-respect, positively or negatively. The degree to which they can is a measure of how resilient we are and how healthy our self-esteem is.

This report can help you to understand the interaction between self-respect and respect from other people, and most importantly, how to increase both.

Interestingly, one of the things that we typically feel guilty about is taking care of our own needs. It feels downright selfish to focus on yourself when there is so much you could be doing for others. While compassion, empathy, and kindness are outstanding qualities, we also have to direct a little of that towards ourselves. If you have ever felt guilty about self-care, take some time to think about the following nine facts. 

Self-Care Isn't a Luxury, Taking care of your own needs isn't some fanciful act of selfishness and is vitally influential to your well-being. If you aren't taking care of yourself, you jeopardise your physical and mental health. 

Other Individuals Practice Self-Care

Many people don't have any hang-ups about practising self-care. Many people in your life have no scruples about taking care of themselves. If other people have no issue putting their own needs first, why shouldn't you? If you don't look after yourself, who will? 

Enabling Yourself, To Help Others

If you want to care for anyone else, you must meet your own needs. The happier and healthier you are, the more competent you will be to help the people you love. A rational explanation is that flight attendants tell you to put your mask on before helping others. 

Your Loved Ones Will Want You To Take Care of Yourself 

No one is going to envy you for focusing on your self-care. Well, no one that matters, anyway. Your closest loved ones will want the best for you, including practising self-care. When you neglect your self-care, you are ignoring the wishes of your closest friends and family. 

Getting Comfortable With the Word "No" 

It can be hard to say no, but you should strive to get used to it. People feel guilty when they say no, but that is often the best answer. Setting limitations on your time and energy isn't a bad thing. On top of that, you don't have to explain yourself - "no" is a complete sentence. 

Self-Care is Vital to Your Objectives

Do you have any goals or dreams you aspire to accomplish? If you do, you are doing a disservice when you avoid self-care. When attacking them healthy and happy, it is much easier to reach your goals. 

Self-Care is About Self-Respect

Do you respect yourself? If you answered yes, but have been ignoring your self-care, then you are lying to yourself. You can't possibly respect yourself if you don't honour your own needs. If you respect yourself, you should know you deserve self-care. 

Self-Care Shields You 

Proper self-care protects you from many additional things. Self-care helps protect your health, energy, mind, time, and boundaries. Self-care is one of the best time investments you can make to protect yourself from future harm(s).

You Deserve It 

There isn't a better reason for you to stop feeling guilty about self-care than the fact that you deserve it. Life is tough, and we are all on a journey, and it makes sense that we take some time to take care of ourselves. You deserve to enjoy the moments you can.

One way to define love is as a strong connection between two individuals. This relationship can be either romantic or platonic. 

Romantic love means that both parties are attracted to each other and want to spend time together. Platonic love refers to a close companionate friendship where people care deeply about each other without sexual involvement. 

Both relationships require trust, respect, honesty, and mutual understanding.

We feel love when we care about another person. We give them our time, attention, and affection when we care about them. 

We also show them kindness and respect. Love is not just something you feel, and it is also something you do.

Falling in love can surprise you and make you feel emotions. It can distract you from the rest of the world, be passionate and euphoric, and so many things are going on in your brain at once. Love has a considerable impact on your mind, and below are a few things that happen when you experience it. 

Of course, the love we feel from our differentia relationships, not just those of a romantic nature, offers immense value for the health of mind, body, spirit and overall wellbeing.

Emotional Strength

Love strengthens the grey matter volume in your brain, which develops your emotion-processing centres and allows you to be more empathetic. When you are more in touch with your feelings from a love perspective, you are better at processing these emotions when they arise in other forms throughout your life. Since love is a rollercoaster full of emotions, it prepares you and builds up the skills needed to balance and manage them. It is not uncommon for people to want a partner who will do anything for them and be there when they need it. They are looking for someone to hold their hand during the tough times and to help make their dreams come true. 

You may have a difficult time trusting yourself. Don’t despair. You are not alone. It is something that many people experience, and find difficult to overcome. When you lose trust in others, you start to lose trust in yourself.

To help you overcome this problem, you need to focus on key aspects of trust. The first is to have faith in your accomplishments. If you pass off your accomplishments as not being that important, when you need to rely on them, they won’t be there for you. That is sure to interrupt the process of trusting yourself.

You also need to trust your instincts. You won’t always be right, but you will be more often than not. An instinct is something you feel strongly about and does not come only from experiences. They come from something internal that no one can truly explain. It’s part of that inner voice that is telling you what to do. You need only listen. How many times have you said to yourself that you should have listened to your instincts?

You should rely on other people. If you open yourself up to letting others into your life, you will find that you become more trusting of yourself. Whether you like it or not, you need other people. You can’t know everything there is to know about every subject. Use the strengths of others to supplement what you know. It will take the burden away from you to do everything. That will help open the possibilities to put trust in yourself.

Try to filter out negative information. You get bombarded with this throughout your life. It occurs every day in the news, at work, and in many cases, your home. The more you learn to focus on positivity in your life, the easier it will be to trust yourself. A good first step towards this goal is to avoid negative people. They work hard to try to bring you down.

Trusting yourself sometimes requires a leap of faith. Take some chances. While you want to be smart regarding the risks of your choices, you don’t want to overanalyze every decision you make. If you do, you will never make any decisions, and you will stagnate. It’s true that not everything will work out the way you plan. But, you will never know unless you try. The good news is when you are ready to try, many of your decisions will work for you.

Read A Book, Listen To A Podcast Or Music

Reading a book or listening to a podcast is an easy and accessible way to take care of your mental health and relax. A book can be an enjoyable escape with something for everyone, while podcasts are compact and versatile. They can be listened to on the go or while doing chores around the house.

Imagine you were caught up in tedious chores and lost in thought. You could feel less inhibited and relaxed if tossed on a favoured soundtrack. Listening to the upbeat melody and a gradual rhythm can brighten the darkest days. Utilising music to release negative energy can be helpful for multiple reasons. There is some evidence that calming audio before bedtime can encourage deeper sleep. Listening to everything from the sound of rain to peaceful white noise as you try to doze off.

Music does make a difference. Several studies are showing that music can improve mood and decrease anxiety. This is true because music is processed in the same brain areas as emotion. 

When you hear certain types of music, it activates specific regions of the brain associated with memory. Dancing along to the beat can help you relax and focus.

Develop A Meditation Habit

A pinnacle in the World of wellness, individuals, have long used 

Meditation routinely helps them find balance and manage the negativity in their lives.

A study conducted at Johns Hopkins University showed impressive results when using meditation to help treat depression. After the researchers collected data, a clear trend emerged, offering substantial improvements. 

Meditation for eight weeks led to an improvement in depressive symptoms by 20 per cent. Additionally, they saw a five per cent decrease in anxiety symptoms, indicating promise.

Meditation is a practice that focuses the mind on the present. It helps you to become aware of your emotions, thoughts, and surroundings. It also allows you to relax and reduce stress. Meditation can help you to deal with anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues.

However, mindfulness isn't for everyone. A study published in the Evidence-Based Mental Health journal showed that school-based mindfulness training does not appear to boost well-being or improve the mental health of teenagers. The research found that many pupils were bored by the course and did not practise it at home.

Meditation is one of the simplest ways to start practising mindfulness. Mindfulness has become a popular meditation technique aimed at focusing the mind on the present moment and involves learning how to pay attention and manage feelings and behaviour, to improve resilience in the face of external stressors.

To live mindfully is to live in the moment and reawaken oneself to the present, rather than dwelling on the past or anticipating the future.

While it has been found to help with the symptoms of depression and anxiety in some studies. Prof Mark Williams, the founding director of the Oxford Mindfulness Centre and co-investigator at the University of Oxford, said the findings confirmed the considerable burden of mental health challenges that young people face and the urgent need to find a way to help them.

Supportive Friends

The most important thing to remember is that the brain is a complex organ, with many parts working together to create our thoughts and feelings.

It’s not just one part of the brain that controls your emotions; it’s all working together. So if you want to change how you feel, you need to work on changing how they communicate, and a healthy friend group can benefit the mind and body. 

However, there is no ideal number of friends

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They may appear to be having fun, but they’re likely just doing it for you. Introverts are the opposite. They generally don’t enjoy being around many people or doing activities requiring attention from others.

Instead, they prefer to spend time alone to recharge their batteries and think more abstractly. However, that doesn’t mean that extroverts are incapable of understanding the needs of an introvert or vice versa.

In fact, most extroverts are comfortable spending time alone as well. Here is an overview of the differences between an extrovert and an introvert so that you can better understand your friends or family members who may seem like they dislike being around others or who don’t seem like they enjoy your company. 

Introversion and extroversion are clarified

Introversion is the tendency to prefer spending time alone and can be an influential part of one’s personality. It’s characterised by a preference for solitude and reflection over social interaction.

Someone introverted will likely avoid parties, large gatherings, or other situations in which they would have to engage with lots of people. On the other hand, extroversion is the tendency to seek out social interaction and stimulation to feel comfortable.

Extroverted people enjoy being around others and even thrive in many social situations. They also tend to talk more regularly than someone introverted. Extroverts typically enjoy getting together with friends and can sometimes be found at parties or other gatherings without any real sense of awkwardness or discomfort.

As you might have guessed, extroverts are always looking for new people or experiences, whereas introverts are often content with their own company or want some peace and quiet time away from it all. However, there’s still a lot of overlap between these two personality types regarding how they spend their free time!

Extroverted people are almost always willing to talk about themselves and their thoughts on various issues, especially topics that interest them. Conversely, introverts may have a more demanding time talking about themselves or very rarely do so unless they’re under close observation in social settings where they usually wouldn’t feel comfortable doing so, for example, when asked questions like “What do you".

Introverts and Extroverts Together: Why They’re Different?

Introverts and extroverts are two different types of personalities. They do not always see eye to eye on things, but they can cooperate when necessary. If you’re trying to communicate with an introvert, it’s best to break the conversation into smaller segments so that the introvert can process what you’re saying. 

That is unless they’re very well-adjusted and socialised. In general, extroverts don’t feel like they need to be around people all the time to have a good time. They thrive off of new experiences without being distracted by their surroundings. They also tend to do things for other people, as it’s more fun that way than if they were doing it themselves.

Introverts typically feel like they need time alone to think more clearly or recharge their batteries before engaging with others again. Because of this, they might not respond well if someone tries to make them come out of their comfort zone quickly or if someone tries to force them into social situations where they don’t want to be.

It’s important not to push an introvert too hard because that will make them feel like you’re trying to manipulate them into doing something that doesn’t fit who they are or what makes them happy.

How do you make a decision?

Do you know the steps?

If you’re having trouble feeling confident in your actions and wish you had an unwavering self-belief in your decisions, maybe it's time to look at your decision-making process.

Decisions made impulsively or without careful thought might not always turn out the way you hope they will.

Of course, there's something to be said for instinct and even dumb luck. But what if good decisions were inevitable rather than occasional? Imagine for a moment how it would feel to know you're right before you even act.

This is because there are steps you should be going through when making a decision. Let’s take a look at those now.

Start With an Open Mind

Do you automatically have all the answers? Probably not. Some of your beliefs might be biased, faulty, or illogical. Accepting you might have things to learn is the first and most crucial step to making decisions. Take a step back from everything but the raw facts regarding what you're trying to decide.

Get the Facts

Do you have all the information you need to make an informed decision? Are there things you need to learn? What about examining the options? Have you considered multiple solutions? Take time to put the work in to gather what you need to proceed with confidence.

Predict the Future

Once you have some choices in mind, try to imagine how they're going to play out. Sometimes what looks good might be a great temporary solution, but you're going to need to do something different in the long run. If you make a certain decision right now, ask yourself if this will still be a good decision in the morning? What about next week?

Or next year?

Get Another Opinion

Do you have a mentor or someone you can trust whom you could talk to about this? While you might skip this step on the small stuff, it's worth having someone you trust to weigh in with their opinion whenever you make a big decision. They might see something you're missing.

Act

Sometimes the hardest part of making decisions lies in making the actual decision. It’s tempting to go back over the research a few more times or keep looking for other alternatives. At some point, you’re going to need to act. Take your best solution and move forward with it with confidence. You’ve done all the work. Now comes the part where you put this newfound trust in yourself into action.

The best part?

The more you run through this process, the more confident you’ll feel about making decisions in the first place.

You’re tired, and it’s been a long day. It feels like there’s more in your life going wrong than going right. You come home and slump on the couch and wonder just how it was that your life started going so wrong.

Stop.

We all fall prey to negative thought patterns. It’s so easy to see the worst-case scenario, to focus on the bad things in our lives, especially when we’re tired. But by focusing on the negativity, what we’re doing is hurting ourselves mentally and even physically.

Negativity drives us down by making us depressed and anxious. With too much negativity, your sleep becomes difficult. Your body even starts to show the effects on how you feel, and also how you’re able to fight something as mundane as a cold.

So how do you stop these negative thought patterns?

1. Remember to breathe.

When a negative thought surfaces, before you get caught up in the negative cycle, take a deep breath. Relax. Accept that negative thoughts are going to creep up once in a while.

2. Acknowledge the thought.

Without focusing too heavily on why the thought is there, stop and listen to it for a moment. Remind yourself that this is something that very likely isn’t true and that it can’t control you.

3. Examine the triggers.

Why do you have the negative thought? What just happened that led to your having this thought?

4. Look for the root.

The chances are that those triggers are rooted in something much deeper. Where did the thought originate?

What do you need to work through to keep these thoughts from happening again?

Don’t let this step overwhelm you. If the roots are deep, it might be that you’ll need help to dislodge them.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help or to visit a counsellor to help with this step.

5. Focus on where you’re going.

Realize that this negative thought doesn’t control your future. Keep your eyes on your goals!

6. Replace the thought with something else.

With your eyes firmly on your goal, focus on what you need to do next to realize that dream. Fill your mind with that thought instead.

7. Erase perfectionism.

Realize that all of this takes practice and that you’re not always going to succeed on the first try. It’s OK. Jump in where you are, and if you fail, try again. You will get this!

8. Adopt a positive attitude.

Remember, positivity is a choice. YOUR choice. 

Stopping negativity is one of the most important habits that you’ll ever break. By pulling more positivity into your life, you’re going to feel better, and even like yourself a lot more.

You’ll be more productive and experience less stress. With all that on the line, don’t you think it’s time to think positive?

I talk to a lot of professionals and salespeople and even entrepreneurs, people starting their own businesses, and they want to learn how can I develop more confidence or even just get myself a bit of confidence so that I can be more successful in what I do.

You have to realize what confidence comes from and what confidence means.

Confidence is your ability to take action and feel good about yourself. Feel like whatever it is you're about to endeavour into, that you can do a good job and that you can come out of the other end of it looking good.

Now, this doesn't happen by accident.

When you look at the way confidence appears in our lives, it appears as a result of doing things over and over again and developing a proficiency from it.

Confidence, in and of itself, is not something that you're born with or not born with. It's something that's developed over time through practice and through repetition.

When you first learn how to walk, when you were let's say 12 months old or 13 months old or whatever it may be for you, you were not very confident at walking. In fact, you couldn't walk. But you were determined to try.

You stood on the side of the sofa, and you pushed yourself off, and you would fall. You would try it again, and you would fall, and you would do it over and over again.  

Your level of confidence, in the beginning, was tiny. In fact, there probably was no confidence. But you were so determined to do it, that you kept going. 

Eventually, you took a step, you followed that with another step, and soon enough you were walking, and now you're an adult, and you can walk from one side to the other of a room or a hallway or whatever, and not even think about the act of walking.

It's just something that comes to you naturally.

If someone were to ask you your level of confidence on a scale of 0 to 10, how confident you are that you could walk across the room, you'd probably say 11. It doesn't even occur to you. You just do it.

The same thing goes for confidence in all areas of life, including your professional life.

Let's say your success right now requires your ability to sell. To sell a product, to sell an idea, to sell a service, sell a training program. I don't know what it is for you.

Well, you might not be confident right now in your ability to communicate the value and close a deal, AKA sell. However, how are you going to get that confidence? 

You weren't born with it. Right now, you think about yourself going into a situation where you might have to sell somebody, and you're nervous. How do you get to a point where you're confident in doing it?

Well, you go through the nerves, you go through those comfort zones, you put yourself in situations where you're probably not all that comfortable, you're a little nervous, and you do it.

You learn from it, and you make mistakes, and you fall on your face, just like you fell on the ground when you were learning how to walk.

But you do this once, and you get a bit of feedback, you get a bit of insight. Maybe your manager was with you on that sales call and saw a couple of things that you could have improved on and gives you that feedback.

Everybody has done a goal-setting exercise at some point, whether it was in high school or in college or university or their first job.

I realize that we've all done it, but the truth of the matter is very few people, in the grand scheme of things in this world, anywhere on the globe, very few people have goals written down.

What that tells me is that very few people actually know what they want.

Why is that? Why do so few people know what they want? I believe it's because a lot of us are programmed, from a pretty early age, to not acknowledge that we can have what we want.

Instead, we're told what we should be doing and what we shouldn't be doing, and we should follow this path to be successful. You should do this to make sure that you have enough money when you grow up to do whatever it is you need to do.

They never actually think, "Well, is that really what I want? What if I want to spend my life travelling the world?"

A lot of times, somebody that says that will just get laughed at or mocked, that that's not a realistic thing to want.

But here's the thing. You can want anything you want, but it's up to you to create it.

A lot of people, and maybe this is you, the very first thing you need to do when it comes to goal setting is have an acknowledgement with yourself that there are things that I want me to don't have right now.

It could be some pretty big things that you're looking at like I'm at a job that I hate. I don't want to be here. What I want is to do X. 

By coming to that realization, the next step is to translate that into something you can control, which is where goal setting comes into place.

Acknowledging that it's okay to have wants, then defining what those wants are. Next, turning that into a goal.

So, "I don't want to work here. I want to travel the world. Let's set a goal that 12 months from now, I'm not going to be in this job. I'm going to be travelling at that point."

How do you make that become a reality? That's when the real work kicks in, the goal achievement.

Setting the goal is really the easy part. It's the fun part. Figuring out the rest is much, much harder to do.

But that's where your real test of character comes in.

Goal achievement can't happen without goal setting. But goal achievement also can't happen without commitment. So that's the big equator in this whole thing.

The level of commitment you have to making your goals become a reality.

It might surprise you to hear that something as simple as walking can actually improve your brainpower. It doesn’t even have to be full-on power walking! Even a twenty- or thirty-minute walk during your lunch break can have a positive impact on your brain. Here are eight ways science has proven that walking is excellent for your brain.

1.    Walking Helps Lower Your Risk of Depression

Walking is an excellent way to improve your mental health. A 2018 study showed that any kind of moderate aerobic exercise like brisk walking can boost your brain health and lower your risk of developing depression by a third.

2.    Walking Improve Your Cognitive Function

A number of studies have shown that the magic amount of twenty to thirty minutes of daily aerobic exercise, such as walking, improves cognitive function and memory.

3.    Walking Stimulates Endorphins

Just ten minutes of walking is enough to start your brain releasing endorphins, the brain chemicals that lower stress, boost your mental health, and make you feel good. You’ve heard of the runner’s high? Well, you can get a similar positive rush from a brisk walk!

4.    Walking Releases the Brain’s Magic Protein

Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor (BDNF) has been dubbed the brain’s ‘magic protein’ as it helps to rewire and build new neural pathways. Scientists believe it can even help lower your risk of Alzheimer’s Disease. And cardiovascular exercise is an easy way to stimulate the production of BDNF and keep your brain in peak condition.

5.    Walking Lowers Physical and Mental Fatigue

A 2008 study by the University of Georgia found that just three sessions a week of low-intensity exercise like walking can reduce fatigue levels by as much as 65 per cent.

6.    Walking Builds Hippocampus Strength

Your hippocampus is the key part of the brain for forming and storing memories. Research has shown that even brief walks can actually increase the size and efficiency of your hippocampus.

7.    Walking Improves Creativity

Artists, writers, and philosophers have long known the importance of walking for clearing blocked creativity and getting inspiration flowing again. Science can now back this up with a 2014 study by Stanford University that shows that walking increases your creative output by up to sixty per cent.

8.    Walking Increases Blood Flow to the Brain

Blood is vital for every organ in your body, not least of all, your brain. That magic twenty-minute is all it takes to increase the blood flow to your brain to keep it active and healthy.

 In other words, It impacts how we feel, believe, and behave, and it also plays a role in determining how we manage social situations and make decisions.

Different Types of Emotions

There are three main types of emotions: 

1. Positive Emotions (enthusiasm, joy, love, pride, gratitude, and hope),

2. Negative Emotions (anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, envy, resentment, jealousy, rage, and hatred).

3. Neutral Emotions (including boredom, indifference, apathy, confusion, disgust, and surprise).

These emotions affect our behaviour and influence our decisions. For example, we tend to eat more food when feeling sad, angry, or anxious.

We see these emotions in ourselves and others, and awareness is the key to controlling them. There are many ways to manage our feelings, including meditation, yoga, and mindfulness, and these techniques help us gain perspective and become aware of our emotions.

Learn more:

Are you an empathetic person? A lot of people will answer that question positively. No one likes to admit that they're selfish or that they can't understand the emotions of others. Then there are those people who simply don't realize they aren't good at identifying situations that require an empathetic response.

The definition of empathy is understanding another person's feelings about a situation by looking at it from their point of view. Empathy then means stepping forward and providing some assistance in an attempt to move that person out of a negative emotional situation.

By the way, this isn't always the right response when you notice someone struggling emotionally.

Just because you can put yourself in someone else's shoes doesn't mean you should act. You don't owe anyone your empathy. That may sound cold. We're not encouraging you to stand by and let someone suffer. We're just saying that some individuals in certain situations should be left to their own devices.

Imagine the following scenario.

You have a friend who's always causing problems. In your group of friends, this person brings people down and seems to go out of his way to harm relationships and cause emotional damage. You might wonder what's going on in his life and why he acts this way.

Wanting to help this person is admirable. He's a friend, so you might want to talk to him about his actions. In many cases, this type of person isn't going to respond positively to you or anyone else pointing out what you see as negative behaviour.

Here's another time when empathy might not be the best course of action.

You Don't Take Care Of Yourself First

Do you know anyone like this? Everyone says she's the most wonderful person. She's selfless. Maybe she's always volunteering at a charity or a homeless shelter. She's that caring person who is so empathetic that she's always bringing home another stray dog or cat.

Those are wonderfully selfless actions. The problem is that sometimes these people go out of their way to find situations where they can respond with empathy. They place the world's problems ahead of their own. They don't take care of themselves physically. Finances and relationships suffer because of their constant empathy.

Being empathetic is beautiful. It means you have a kind soul. Know when to treat yourself with empathy instead of suffering in some way because you're always taking care of others.

Empathy Can Give You Tunnel Vision

Here's what sometimes happens. You find someone in a desperate situation. You respond with empathy because that's who you are. You identify their emotional distress and provide assistance in some way. That's beautiful.

Sometimes when this happens, you can put on blinders. All you see is that person needing assistance over and over and over. You develop a sort of focused vision on that person's problems, and on nobody else. The result is that you become pushy and the person feels you're smothering them with your good intentions.

They also might think your constant attention means you believe you're better than them. Neither one of these outcomes is what you were trying to produce, but things turned out that way despite your best efforts.

Empathy can be a wonderful thing. It can also be the wrong response. Use the situations we just discussed to see if you're possibly turning to empathy when there's a better response.

Grief is a powerful emotion generally associated with death. You might hear that someone is grieving after the loss of a loved one. It's a natural step to recovery. Psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler Ross published a book in 1969 titled "On Death and Dying" and introduced us to the five stages of grief.

These are different emotions a person experiences when dealing with a terminal illness or the death of someone close to them.

Author David Kessler added a sixth stage of grief in his book, "Finding Meaning: the Sixth Stage of Grief" in 2019. As an expert on death and grieving, he says he's noticed that people who suffer the death of a loved one usually attempt to find some meaning in their loss.

To some lesser degree, we all experience similar emotions when we experience one of life's hardships.

The feelings you have to work through to recover after losing a job or failing to achieve some personal goal can be found in the grieving process. Understanding the different emotions you may deal with after any setback or hardship can help you recover more quickly. You have the resilience to absorb and overcome the setbacks and speed bumps life will lay in your path.

Knowing that you're going to have to deal with them before failure or loss appears in your life makes you more resilient. You can prepare emotionally for their arrival. It can speed up the recovery process, so you get back on your feet as soon as possible. Let's take a look at these different emotional states of recovery that can improve your bounce-back ability from any setback, large or small.

(It should be noted that these are not sequential in every case. You may experience them in any order. They don't necessarily appear in the order listed here. Additionally, you may not have to work through all these emotions. Just knowing you may encounter them after experiencing one of life's difficulties can power you with the resilience to overcome them.)

Empathy is a wonderfully selfless response to someone else's plight. Not only do you feel sympathetic for someone in a bad situation, but you understand their feelings. You fully experience the event from the perspective of the person going through it.

In some cases, it's almost as if you're physically and emotionally living through the experience yourself. This can be very draining for the highly empathetic individual. They're always seeing situations where they internalize another person's emotions and feel they have to help in some way.

Some people don't have that level of empathy. They will happily help another person and might even understand the point of view of an individual. They don't necessarily identify with what caused the problem in the first place. Even so, they still respond with empathy.

To understand more about yourself and your feelings, let's take a look at the three different types of empathy. One isn't better than another. They're just different ways of responding to the same situation.

1 – Understanding Emotional Empathy

We'll introduce you to cognitive empathy in a minute. One of the best ways to understand emotional empathy is with a comparison to the cognitive variety. Just remember this.

"Cognitive empathy is an attempt to walk a mile in another person's shoes, while emotional empathy is screaming in pain when someone else steps on a nail."

That definition from the MasterClass website hits the nail on the head, pun intended.

This almost always occurs when someone experiences something you've been through before. You might not respond in that way if you never stepped on a nail yourself. If you have, and you see someone else do it, your mind and body can go through a nearly identical physical and visceral experience.

This is truly understanding what another person is experiencing because it's accompanied with a physical response of some kind.

2 – Cognitive Empathy

We just talked about how this form of empathy is different than when you have an emotional empathetic response. Cognitive empathy can be described as taking someone else's perspective.

You relate to what someone else is going through even if you've never experienced it yourself. This might mean looking at a situation or listening to someone talk while actively trying to imagine their feelings. You aren't inserting your personal point of view. There's no bias on your part and you're not trying to insert your own experiences.

Cognitive empathy simply means a conscious effort to understand the perspective of someone else. This is used in interviews to get the subject to open up and share deeper feelings.

3 – Compassionate Empathy and Problem-Solving

Do people often come to you for advice? This might be because you've displayed compassionate empathy. It's a wonderful skill in problem-solving situations.

Compassionate empathy means looking at a negative situation and trying to get at the cause. You analyse the underlying reasons why something happened, as well as the effects. Compassionate empathy can be considered a hybrid of both the cognitive and emotional forms of empathy.

With this ability, you can demonstrate to a person that you totally understand where they're coming from. You don't offer any bias or prejudice. You may even offer an alternative way of thinking or some insight that helps the person in need.

Empathy in any form makes the world a better place. It's selfless and caring. Understanding what type of empathy you're practising can give you a better idea of the reasons behind your response.

The empathetic person takes on the feelings of another. When you act with empathy, you share emotions and feelings. Some people can almost physically feel what another person is going through.

Others might have a less intense experience. In any situation, empathy helps you to understand and relate to others. It's a social skill that everyone should develop. Empathy can help you build trust in your personal and career relationships.

Like sympathy, empathy means you feel bad about what someone is going through. Unlike sympathy, empathy always means following up with kindness. You do something to try to help the person get out of a negative situation or experience.

What's really neat is that empathy doesn't just benefit the person on the receiving end of kindness.

The Benefits of Empathy for the Giver

Studies show that the empathetic person experiences less stress and anxiety than others. Everyone is different. Some people just aren't that empathetic. It doesn't mean they're mean people or that they don't care about others. It just means their emotional radar isn't as sensitive as someone who's highly empathetic.

That's a shame, because empathy lowers stress.

Experts believe this is because of a shared emotional experience. It could be that there is a physical process internally that triggers the release of "feel good" hormones and chemicals. Whatever happens, data clearly shows that if you want less stress, anxiety and depression in your life, learn to be more empathetic.

Empathy Makes You Grateful for What You Have

Sometimes getting in the emotional point of view of another person can help you appreciate what you have. You see someone struggling emotionally. You ask a few questions. Likewise, you get to know the situation. Perhaps you were in a similar spot yourself at one time.

You can identify very clearly with the emotional issues that person is experiencing. It causes such a response in you that you reach out. You feel compelled to offer assistance and to help this person in some way.

After this experience has passed, it's not uncommon to feel gratitude.

You're reminded when you went through the same problem. You understand that this individual you encountered is currently working through a difficult time. Not only that, but you additionally realise that you are fortunately not going through the same issue.

This can cause you to take a little time and express gratitude for your wonderful life and all the blessings in it.

Empathy Is a Boomerang

Act with empathy for someone else, and you're more likely to get the same response when it's needed. When people see you acting selflessly and with great empathy, they remember.

Sometime down the road, when you could benefit from empathy, people will recall when you helped them or someone in their family. This could result in a wonderful boomerang of kindness that gives you assistance right when you need it.

Empathy is often returned to the giver. It helps you grow emotionally and socially. You can improve your relationships at work and at home by showing a little more empathy. You also enjoy less stress and anxiety when you become an empathetic person

How are you your own worst enemy? We limit ourselves so much. We live in our heads and come up with all these ways to keep us from getting anything accomplished. Even though deep down, we know we're good enough, and how much we're fully capable of getting things done.

The only way to get past these self-sabotaging behaviours is to take active, intentional steps to remedy your thinking. Let's look at 5 steps that will shift your limiting beliefs for good.

Stop

Wait a minute; what were you thinking? If a thought feels off about something, it's time to stop and examine this idea much closer. Is this perhaps a self-limiting belief?

Think About What You're Saying

Where is the lie in this thought? You've already figured out there's something wrong with it, or you wouldn't be going through this process. This means something about it is not ringing true. When you understand where the lie is, it becomes easier to know how to counter it. 

Look for the Proof

Is there any proof this self-limiting thought is true? Let's examine the part you feel is a lie. Here's where you need to take a step back from the situation if you can and look very impartially at what's going on. Is any grain of truth in what you're thinking?

Take Control

If what you were thinking is a lie, it's relatively easy to counter the false aspects of the statement with the truth. But what if this thought was at least partially true? You start by reminding yourself this isn't always the case. For example, you might be thinking you are always late. Maybe you are, in fact, late sometimes. To perform this step, you would need to recall various instances when you were on time. By countering the lie, you are taking control of the situation, and not allowing the limiting belief to have any sway over you.

Get Help

Sometimes it can be challenging to remove limiting beliefs by yourself. In these instances, it can be beneficial to talk to a friend, or even a counsellor, to help you see the truth. There is nothing wrong with getting help, especially from someone who is in a position to be impartial.

Self-limiting beliefs don't have to control your life. By examining your thoughts, especially those that seem to hold you back, you will find it much easier to move forward toward your goals. Soon you will realize success.

Well, that didn’t go right.

We walk into a relationship with so much enthusiasm. We think what we’ve found is the best thing in the world, which is a heady feeling for while it lasts. Sadly, when a relationship is toxic, we’re frequently the last to know. By the time we escape, our self-worth has already taken a hefty blow.

So, how do you restore positive feelings about yourself after a toxic relationship?

Release Your Victimhood

The more you focus on what happened, the more you get stuck, so the sooner you can quit revisiting the past and dwelling on perceptions of ill-treatment, the sooner you’re going to put all this behind you. This doesn’t mean to say this was your fault, but obsessing about the ‘should’ and going back over every encounter is only going to hurt you regardless of whether you were in the right or not.

Drop the Blame

Was it your fault? Not. The sooner you can let go of any residual guilt or bad feelings about the relationship, the happier you’ll be. The next step should help.

Silence Their Voice

The problem with toxic relationships is you tend to believe what the other person said about you, no matter how outlandish it seemed at the time. Now their voice is there, lurking in your head to remind you of all your so-called shortcomings at every opportunity—time to tell them to shut up once and for all.

Embrace the New You

Find joy in being single. Spoil yourself. Do that thing you always wanted to do. Take lessons, and build your skill set as you build yourself up. Become your own best friend in a way that doesn’t require validation from any outside source.

Believe Your Friends

You hear the compliments, but they’re going in one ear and out the other. Rather than brush off the nice things, people around you are saying, start listening. Listening until these words become a part of who you are.

Create Goals You Love

What would you like to do with your life? Too often, our goals reflect the needs and desires around us. Now is the time to reverse this. Accepting you are capable, and your goals are worth fighting for, what do YOU want to do?

Affirmations

Work through the worst offenders of negative self-talk through positive affirmations. Take note of what you’re telling yourself. Rewrite the script and turn these statements around into affirmations that you read to yourself every day.

Remember, this is a process and is likely to take time. By reminding yourself of just how amazing you are, and focusing hard on these steps, eventually, you will start feeling the difference even if you don’t see it yet. Hang in there!

Back in my corporate days, I worked for a huge company where it was easy to become just another face in the crowd. It was your typical corporate setting where you would find many people who truly hated being there.

There was one lady in particular whose cubicle I would pass on a daily basis. Practically every time I walked by, she would be on a social networking or celebrity gossip website. If managers were in the area, she would quickly perk up and look busy. When the coast was clear, back she would go to the time-wasting.

I also remember her being negative and miserable a lot of the time. I actually felt terrible for her.

As someone who dropped out of the corporate life to pursue something with more meaning for me, I can see with hindsight exactly what was going on. She hated her position and did not want to be there. But another part of her believed that she must keep this job because there was no other option.

Thinking back, I’m sure she wasn’t a lazy person by nature, and I bet she had hobbies or other interests outside of work that made her feel alive and positive. She could immerse herself in these activities for hours and feel like no time had passed at all.

This is the kind of engaged, focused activity that makes people feel genuinely happy. For me, I know I always feel my best when I have put my heart and soul into a project that has meaning for me and that I am passionate about. It's even more powerful if you can get paid for it!

The challenge then becomes, how do you align your entire life so that you spend the majority of time engaged in the kind of work that makes you come alive? How do you find something that you are already good at, already enjoy, and want to become the best at?

All it takes is the willingness to try something new. If you are in a job you hate and have passion for something totally different, you don’t have to quit your job and risk the farm. But you can take on a small passion project that you devote your weekends to.

Sometimes, all you have to do is start, and you will create the momentum you need to remap the entire direction of your life in a new, more exciting direction.

The next time you get on an elevator, pay attention to the other passengers when they get on. The patient ones will step in, push the button to their desired floor, step aside and smile while they ride.

An impatient person will step in, choose their floor, and start tapping the close door button if it doesn’t move fast enough.

You might shake your head at the spectacle unless you can commiserate with the impatient person.

It is possible to be too impatient. Your quality of life decreases while your stress levels increase when you are.

We all lose our patience now and again, but are you too impatient?

5 Indications That You May be Too Impatient

If you have ever worried that you are an incredibly impatient person, consider these five indications that suggest you are:

1. You grow frustrated standing in long lines. Whether it is the bank or the grocery store, you hate waiting more than 30 seconds for the line to move. In your opinion, you have a million other things you could do in that span of time. You may even voice your frustration in an embarrassing way.

2. You see no problem in interrupting people because it saves time. Waiting for your mom to tell you of her trip to the doctor is torture as she recounts her entire day. You find yourself interjecting to help her get to the point. You always want to speak over someone to hurry the story along.

3. You are a beacon of nervous energy. Family and friends constantly ask you to sit down or stop tapping your foot. You are a bundle of nerves and cannot stand to sit idle when there are things you need to do and are anxious.

4. You have a quick temper. If things do not go the way you planned, you explode. The family has to walk on eggshells around you, especially when they see you have reached your boiling point.

5. You refuse to count on others to ensure things get accomplished. You prefer to do things yourself because you don’t trust others to get things done. While you may want help, you prefer to head the project since others are not as capable as your mind.

We all have moments when we lose patience. However, some people struggle harder with it than others. You may find that being impatient drains your energy and hampers your relationship.

Now is the best time to put that poor behaviour behind you and learn the skill of patience.

The alarm fails to go off, so you oversleep. Now you are late, and you have a flat tire to make things worse. You know that if one more thing happens, you might explode with some expletives that would make a sailor blush.

Every day, we fight to maintain a sense of calm as the world around us pushes our patience buttons. We may have heard that patience is a virtue, but why is it so hard to be patient? What factors play into our ability to let go of our frustrations and let things roll off our backs?

6 Reasons People Are Impatient

Our fast-paced society has us frustrated over small things. Even though we know we need to learn how to be patient, we all still struggle, and here’s why:

1.    Our habits are disrupted.

Habits offer comfort. They give us a sense of calm in a chaotic world. We become impatient when something comes along and disrupts our typically scheduled patterns.

2.    Things are important, but time is running out.

You have an important meeting. While you left with plenty of time to get there, delays occurred. You may have a flat tire, or there is an accident on the highway. As the clock hands move closer to the appointment time, your patience grows thinner and thinner.

3.    Other people succeed, and we don’t.

The comparison trap can cause much upheaval in your life. Seeing others succeed in pursuing their goals while you are stuck in a rut is bound to cause jealousy and some impatience on your part.

4.    We feel overwhelmed.

Having too much to do leaves many of us feeling overwhelmed. So we move from task to task, working fast and efficiently, until someone comes along and tips the apple cart. Now things are stalled, and patience is lost.

5.    We don’t see results as fast as we think we should.

Let’s say you want to lose weight. You research methods and choose to eat healthier and exercise. You start out great and drop seven pounds your first month. Then you lose two; then none for several weeks. When progress stalls, it is easy to grow impatient.

6.    We are tired and hungry.

Anytime you are tired, you are likely to lose your patience with others fast. Being hungry has the same effect.

Recognizing why we become impatient is the first step in pursuing a happier life filled with patience. Consider which of these reasons play the most significant factors for you, and then learn how to combat impatience.

If you hate failing, that's a good thing. It means you're driven. People that aren't fazed by failure or loss don't expect much of themselves. You're different. You're like most folks because failure is frustrating to you.

You can begin to question yourself when you get something wrong. Likewise, you wonder if you're capable of achieving what's important to you. Even small failures can lead to an "I quit" attitude. Have several small setbacks in a row, and you might feel like giving up on making an effort at all.

That's not what great leaders do. They embrace failure.

That's definitely the case for a man who was defeated in a run for the state legislature. He failed in business several times. Shortly after one such failure, the love of his life died. This led to a nervous breakdown the following year.

He returned, only to be defeated in his run for speaker of the house two years later. Then he was defeated for nomination to Congress. He was eventually elected to Congress, only to lose renomination two years later.

He was rejected as a land officer and then defeated in his attempt to become a US Senator. A couple of years later, defeat would once again come calling, as he lost the nomination of Vice President for his party in 1858.

His Failures Were So Legendary They Were Given a Name

You could easily forgive such a man if he gave up. That's a staggering list of failures. It would be easy to believe the world was just against you if there had been your experiences.

The man's lack of success was so legendary it was given its own name ... "Lincoln's Failures."

We're talking, of course, about the 16th President of the United States of America. Abraham Lincoln recovered from those staggering failures, only to be faced with a Civil War and a political struggle that saw many in his own party turn their backs on him.

Yet, he continued to do what he had done so many times in his past; he refused to give up.

He would eventually go on to help end slavery in America. This allowed African-Americans to finally enjoy the civil and social freedoms they had been denied. Many historians that talk about such things count Abraham Lincoln as one of the highest-achieving presidents in US history.

Failure Can Defeat You, or It Can Teach You

Prodigious inventor Thomas Edison failed more than 1,000 times before he successfully invented the incandescent light bulb. He's famous for saying he didn't regard lack of success as a failure. He simply learned 1,000 different ways that wouldn't work.

Abraham Lincoln no doubt had the same approach. His perseverance in reaching the highest leadership role in the United States was partly responsible for his eventual attainment of that title.

He also learned from his failures. He embraced them as teachers instead of despising them for creating so much hardship in his life.

Successful leaders don't give up. They persevere in the face of failure. They also learn from their failures and embrace them as teachers instead of declarations of who they are.

A failure is just an event, nothing more. It's up to you whether you learn from it and move forward with better information, or bow down to your failure and give up.

Steve Jobs was notoriously hard on his staff. It's well known that he could be difficult to work for. He was also superb at running Apple Inc., which he co-founded with Stephen Wozniak.

The two young men began business together in 1976. They worked out of Jobs' garage. What would eventually become a hugely successful computer and cell phone manufacturing company started out with very little money?

Wozniak sold a programmable calculator, and Steve Jobs sold his Volkswagen minibus for start-up capital. Jobs then went to work finding financial backers. Just one year later, the Apple II made its debut. Success was almost immediate due to the perfect timing of an explosion in the popularity of personal computers.

Apple Inc. had an initial public offering in 1981 that broke records. Two years later, Apple joined the Fortune 500 list of the top companies in America. It was the quickest any company had ever gone from IPO to inclusion on that exclusive list.

The First Trillion-Dollar Company

In 2018 Apple became the first company in the world to boast a market capitalization of $1 trillion. It took over two more years for the Jobs/Wozniak creation to hit a $2 trillion market cap. That was another record-breaking cap number.

What can we learn from this man identified as quirky, personable, a great thinker, weird, and sometimes incredibly unlikeable? Let's look at one of his famous quotes for that answer.

"Don't be afraid to be different."

Steve Jobs frequently said that it's the crazy people that change the world. He surrounded himself with people that had different ideas about how to get things done. He understood that many people saw him as weird and downright different.

He so believed in this idea that he used it in Apple's "Think Different" advertising campaign. The many times he was interviewed on the subject, Jobs said that people shouldn't make an effort to be different. But if they are different than most people, that's okay.

In other words, he didn't want people to be anything other than what they were as individuals. He believed that if you're different from most other people, embrace that. In many cases, it's a sign you have something new and innovative to bring to the table.

Jobs was worth $1 million when he was 23. Just two years later, his personal net worth was $100 million. While that's impressive, he said he never did anything for the money and instead loved what he was doing. He was just being himself.

That's what mattered to him. His incredible ideas and creations may never have seen the light of day if he had bowed down to conformity. Don't worry if you're different. That might be the best thing for you and the world.

If you accumulate a billion dollars in net worth, you'll develop some leadership skills in the process. Hit that billion-dollar figure several times over, and your ability as a leader has to be pretty sharp.

That's the case with a high school dropout who ran away from education at the tender age of 16. His teachers called him lazy. He just didn't seem to fit in. He didn't know it at the time, but many of his problems in school came from the fact that he had dyslexia.

Dyslexia is a condition that makes it difficult to understand what someone is reading. A dyslexic can struggle to read, write, spell and even speak. At the time of this eventual billionaire's problems in school, when he dropped out in 1966, not as much was known about dyslexia.

Children were often diagnosed as troublemakers and problems. There was no efficient treatment because this mental disorder had yet to be studied thoroughly.

Even with these staggering difficulties, the young man in question started a business venture as a teenager. He created a magazine called "Student." Though it quickly became profitable, it began to lose money in the late 1960s, after he had left school.

That's when Richard Branson formed Virgin Mail Order Records. It was the first of many successful businesses he would launch in his life.

Sir Richard Branson Credits Dyslexia For Teaching Him the Power of Delegation

Great leaders understand they can't do everything. Successful leaders will always hire people that can do things they can't. They seek out the best of the best, and they put them to work. They delegate tasks and responsibilities and follow up effectively.

Branson, who received the British honour of Knighthood in 1999, said his response to dyslexia was important for developing this core leadership quality.

He struggles to understand terms even as an adult and sometimes has problems reading. This is how he learned to delegate as a young man. He said he quickly realized that if understanding everything about a business was up to him, he would fail miserably.

He began to hire people that could do the things he couldn't. Today he says that during business deals if he can't fully grasp what's being said and communicated, he doesn't worry. He hires people to do that for him.

You can only do so much. You may be the most productive person in the history of mankind, but there's only so much you can do. Whether you need help with the chores around the house or you're a Fortune 500 CEO that wants to be more productive, learn to delegate. If this skill is credited with turning a high school dropout into a successful manager of more than 400 businesses, it can help you.

Gender is used to describe the characteristics of men and women that are socially constructed, while sex refers to those that are biologically determined.

Individuals are born male or female but learn to be boys and girls who grow into men and women, and this learned behaviour makes up their gender identity and determines gender roles. 

(The WHO gender policy, 2002).

Gender identity, and sexual orientation, are two very different things.  Gender identity refers to a person’s sense of self, which may not correspond to the sex assigned to them at birth. Many individuals are identified as male or female, while others may not feel they fit into this particular category.

Identities that are not binary are commonly referred to as nonbinary. These individuals do not conform to any of the established social roles for men and women.

In addition, the overlap between gender identity and sexual orientation is often confusing for individuals and people seeking support. 

For example, author Diane Ehrensaft relates the case of a teenage client who self-identified as a gay boy and an androgynous man. The experience of this young person is both dramatic and complex. 

But the underlying theme is the same: gender identity and sexual orientation are fundamentally different, and they often disagree.

As a result, transgender and intersex individuals may encounter social and legal barriers. Obtaining a legal ID and gaining access to public benefits may be difficult, particularly for people whose genitalia are not matched by anatomical sex. 

Some states allow transgender people to change their name to reflect their post-operative gender, but may not recognise the applicant as someone of the same gender in other areas.

Sexual Gratification & Diversity 

Heterosexuals

Heterosexuals and homosexuals and same-sex attraction are closely related to their reproductive potential. Both groups engage in sexual activities with the opposite sex, but in terms of a higher percentage, homosexual men are less likely to father children than heterosexual men. 

Researchers found that plasma sex hormone levels were not associated with sexual preference in mice. Sexual orientation is independent of sex hormone levels in their plasma. Heterosexuals do not engage in more sexual activities with the opposite sex as homosexuals do.

Some researchers studied this question, and they found similarities in the lives of gay and lesbian children from four countries. The findings suggest that both sexual orientations are biologically determined. 

In addition, the researchers found that differences in family size, gender roles, and cross-dressing between heterosexual men and lesbian women did not affect the likelihood of having children.

Some may believe that sexual orientation does not change over time but can be defined by the social structure that a society has. While there is no clear genetic cause of sexual orientation, studies show that environmental factors and biochemical mechanisms during development may influence it. 

How would you like to leave a room and people start talking about you in a way that is not only flattering but where they wished you hadn’t gone? That is how to be unforgettable in a positive way. It’s not as difficult as you think, either. It does take a bit of practice and maybe even a bit of refocusing on your core beliefs. But, it’s possible, and you should get started now.

Be punctual

Another significant thing to remember is always being on time because it makes you look reliable. But there’s another critical reason for this. The world is made up of two types of people. The first group is a stickler for time, and being late is one of their largest pet peeves. 

The other group has a more flexible interpretation of being on time and doesn’t mind waiting for someone for a few minutes or being late themselves. 

Become a Storyteller

Which would you choose if you had the choice between hearing statistical information on a particular topic or a narrative that brilliantly described that subject?

If you are like most people, you will choose the narrative. People love to hear stories, and we are wired that way. If you have the added skill of being able to tell stories, people will remember you for this. 

Some people have a natural ability to tell stories, and it seems like they were born with this skill. Because of this, many people feel they cannot pick up this ability, and it’s simply not true. It just takes some practice. Pursue books, seminars, etc., on the subject and start getting better at telling stories. 

Get Interested in What Others Are Interested In

Dale Carnegie wrote the book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. He wrote this in 1936, while the Great Depression was still underway, and it continues to sell many copies to this day. 

In the book, one of the foundations is to become genuinely interested in other people. Ask questions related to their interests. Look for information or other items on their behalf that shows you have taken an interest in them. They will greatly appreciate you for this and will remember you. Do this with enough people, and you will have a tremendous following.

Think About Others Who Are Unforgettable to You

If you want to learn how to be unforgettable, follow people who already are (or were). Read stories and profiles of famous people who you would like to emulate. While you don’t want to be exactly like them, you want to try to take after what they did, as long as it fits your personality, and you are comfortable repeating their steps. Of course, sometimes it’s better to get outside that comfort zone to grow as a person. When you learn to take the same steps, you can also, become as memorable as them.

Think Outside the Box

No one gets remembered for doing the same thing everyone else does, and you will stand out among your peers when searching for ways others aren’t. It may not seem popular when you first set out to do things differently, but if you make it work, this will turn around quickly. 

Over time, somebody will remember you as being innovative and welcome your ideas, as they will see them as possible solutions.

You probably always hear the advice about thinking outside the box, but do you ever hear about how actually to do it? 

While there are no rules for thinking outside the box (that’s entirely the point), there are some ways to approach it. When you are confronted with a problem, look at how others have dealt with that problem. Try an alternative approach to see if you can come up with another resolution. For example, a person looking for concert tickets came up short when trying to obtain them in the Northeast United States. Instead of giving up, he called up Ticket Master locations in California that were just starting to sell.

What do you want out of life? More importantly, how do you intend to go about getting it?

We all have so many wants. Some are very simple, such as wanting to lose five pounds in time for swimsuit season. While others, such as changing to a new career, are more complex.

What’s interesting is that you can use the very same technique to get precisely what you want, whether your goal is big or small.

Visualization is the technique of picturing a goal in your mind in detail so that you can manifest this change in your life. Sound hard?

Really, it’s not. By following these five simple steps, you’ll get exactly what you want in almost no time at all.

Engage Fully in the Vision

You absolutely must put yourself into the visualization as fully as you possibly can. Use all your senses and emotions to experience this vision in a way that is real to you. There can be no holding back here.

Experience Different Viewpoints

What does this visualization feel like to you?

Experience it first as yourself so that you can connect emotions to actions. You want to feel every part of it. Now, step back and experience it again as if you’re watching yourself succeed from outside yourself, like watching a movie. Why? This helps you to see details you might miss otherwise.

Live the Success

When you’re done with the visualization, it’s time to live the part. Become the person you saw at the end of the vision. How does that person move?

Think? Act?

Reinforce the Message

Visualization needs back-up to be successful. The world is full of negative influences, some of them finding root in your own mind. Keep your self-talk positive, use affirmations, and look for ways to constantly reinforce the vision in your mind without tearing it down

Make the Vision Tangible in a Way You can See it

Creating a dream board or collage will set out your visualization in a place where you are constantly reminded of the experience. Seeing it over and over will also reinforce your goals and strengthen your resolve.

By following these steps, you’ll find you will find your dream becoming more and more solid. Of course, you’re going to have to put in the work to achieve what you want. However, by using visualization, you get clear where you’re going and how to get there. 

 What if someone told you that you could control your brain?

Well, the good news is you can. All you need is some practice and a bit of knowledge. Neuroscience isn’t rocket science, and it’s a skill that can be learned with time, practice, and patience. Ready to learn how to be calm under pressure?

1. Understand “Fight or Flight.”

You can thank your school teachers for beating this one into your head. If you need a little recap, “fight or flight” describes how the body reacts in stressful or threatening situations.

To put it simply, you either decide to flee the scene (flight) or take action (fight). This explains why you react in a certain way to survive on a subconscious level. However, “fight or flight” is irrelevant in many scenarios in our modern world.

Yet, our brain senses danger when we experience things outside what is “typical.” For example, if you feel your body tensing up, a by-product is the stress hormone cortisol, which can do more harm than good.

The next time you think you’re experiencing this action, ask yourself, “Is this real or a life and death situation?

Or should I calm down and realise it will be okay?” 

2. Call out your Emotions 

Detaching from your emotions is prescribed by many meditation experts and leaders who have mastered the art of staying calm. We’re only human, so we’re inevitably going to experience the whole gamut of sensations.

That being said, we can choose to heed them rather than adhere to them. That means when you feel a surge of anger, call it out. Say, “That’s anger I’m experiencing because of an XYZ trouble. I know that this will pass, but I acknowledge that my feelings are valid.” Be sure to validate your emotions rather than exacerbate or dismiss them.

Your feelings are real, and it is okay that you’re experiencing them! 

3. Breathe

Sometimes, all you need to do is breathe. Connect to your breath. Count your breaths. Be grateful that you’re breathing. There are many ways to experience the delight of breathing, so take some time to figure out which approach works best for you.

The important thing is that you’re doing it. As we mentioned with “fight or flight,” the body reacts to stress and adverse events. We may choke up, forget to breathe or hyperventilate our way into a panic attack.

Those things impact the mind. Focus on your breathing and remain in the now to instil a sense of calm throughout your body. 

A lot of adults never grasp the true definition of insanity. You might be thinking of some defining terms yourself. While there could be many definitions of that word depending on the situation, there's one that we'd like to talk about.

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results."

That's a pretty simple definition. It's been credited to Albert Einstein, one of the smartest humans ever to walk the planet. Whoever came up with that definition is absolutely on the money.

Think of how many times in your life you suffered from this practice. We all have. We tried something and failed. So we tried it again, doing the exact same things we did before. The reward was once again failed.

Sometimes we do this unconsciously. We don't consciously choose a certain set of behaviours. However, that's exactly what happens.

You'll hear people say that they always choose the wrong type of partner. By saying this out loud, they're virtually guaranteeing they're going to continue to do the same thing. What you speak often times becomes your reality because it's planted into your subconscious.

Simply put, if you don't change your actions, you're not going to change the results you get from those actions.

People Should Be Taught This Insanity Definition Early in Life

Do you have a few extra pounds you'd like to lose?

A lot of us do. It's believed that as many as two out of three adults in the United States are overweight or obese. The numbers are very similar in other countries.

This means you might have tried a few diets. Then you started exercising.

Did you lose some weight?

Many people lose a few pounds at the beginning of embracing smarter lifestyle choices that lead to weight loss.

Then they inevitably gain those pounds back, sometimes packing on a few more. What happened?

Insanity struck.

They had changed their actions in the beginning. They were eating better and working out. The reward was the results they wanted.

Then they slowly went back to an unhealthy diet and quit being physically active. The same thing is going to happen in that situation that happened every time they adopted those unhealthy habits in the past.

You can't go back in time. That's a shame because you have so much to teach the younger version of yourself.

All you can do now is remember this insanity definition for the future decisions you make. You can't create a different reality without doing things differently. Embrace different behaviours if you want to create a new and different life.

Generation Snowflake has become the new norm. This article examines the nature of the Snowflake at the end of today’s cultural climate, and it also looks like the overly sensitive Snowflake characters of today. This article concludes by identifying some key characteristics of a Snowflake. The core metaphor is that such people are delicate like snowflakes, easily hurt by the complex realities of life, and think of themselves as unique without realising they are entitled and privileged— because every snowflake is different, as they say. Whether you are a Generation Snowflake or a Snowflake in real life, you are bound to relate to one or all of these personalities.

But, in the 1970s, Snowflake was a disparaging term for a white man or for a black man who was mocked if he was witnessed acting white. It was also utilised as a slang term for cocaine. Before either of those, it was used for a time with a very particular political meaning.

But before either of those, it was used for a time with a very particular political meaning. In Missouri in the early 1860s, a snowflake was a person who was opposed to abolishing slavery — the implication of the name being that such people valued white people over black people.

What is the origin of the term snowflake?

Snowflake first became famous as an insult in the US after releasing the 1999 Brad Pitt Cult Film Fight Club. Chuck Palahniuk, who wrote the original book in 1996, claimed he invented the term, but it actually resonates more than two decades on. (https://www.standard.co.uk/news/londoners-diary/londoner-s-diary-chuck-palahniuk-i-coined-snowflake-and-i-stand-by-it-a3448226.html) 

One of the prominent lines, “You are not special. You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake,” clearly struck a chord, and the phrase took off.

Generation Snowflake

The term “Generation Snowflake” was a put-down used to describe the current generation of sensitive millennials, and was popularized by a discussion on Fox News of a 2015 Yale University

confrontation over culturally insensitive Halloween costumes. 

The issue revolved around how universities should intervene and whether students are offended; they should simply “look away”. This view is not without merit, but there are also many negative aspects of the epoch, including an apparent lack of intellectual curiosity and a tendency to be too critical of the past.

In March 2015, the National Union of Student Women’s Conference in Solihull (UK) tried to ban clapping if it triggered anxiety, instead suggesting the use of “jazz hands” instead of clapping due to clap-induced anxiety. 

The term is often regarded as derogatory, as it is a label applied by conservatives to liberals. Young people usually identify as “snowflakes” when their sense of individuality characterises them. Critics label this generation as fickle, sensitive and overly politically correct.

But is the term genuinely accurate? Regardless of its definition, it is clear that this generation cannot accept criticism without resentment.

Political snowflake

Read more: Link

When you disagree with someone, likely, you don’t want to waste your time listening to their views. Although listening to something you disagree with isn’t always fun, it is vital to your future.

You, Will, Understand Something New

When you take the time to listen to someone else and their perspectives, you are exposed to opinions that don’t exist in your mind and philosophies you may not have considered before.

And even though you may not like what you hear, you often learn new things by listening to others. This also helps expand your mind to be more accepting of new ideas, which could help you be more successful in the future.

Listening Helps You Develop Patience

As previously mentioned, sitting there and listening to someone you disagree with is difficult. You will have to have patience. And if you haven’t already developed the necessary tolerance for this task, just the practice of hearing others more often will help you to create it.

If you find you are struggling with the activity, try to remember you are listening to learn something new. You can also listen with the intent to ask questions, and this will help you focus on the words the other person is saying more carefully

How to Grow Your Network

People love when others listen to what they have to say, it makes them feel important. When you take the time to listen to someone else, even though you may disagree with what they are saying, you make that person feel better about themselves.

And this can help you make a new friend or connection. This can help you on your path to success in the future, as you never know when you may need to know someone in a specific field or area of study. And hey, expanding your network is always a good idea.

Overall, listening to someone else who has an opposing viewpoint from yourself will never be an easy task. But when you resolve to listen to someone else, this helps teach you new things and further develops your patience. It also allows you to grow your network, which could provide unmeasured value to you in the future. Thus, it’s time to learn how to listen to others sooner rather than later if you want to succeed.

There is plenty of relevant anger management information. First and foremost it is imperative to understand the anger and the consequences of anger. Anger management will not work without knowing what it is an individual is attempting to change or manage.

Anger is an emotion and totally normal. 

It is a reaction to various situations. It is okay to be angry but when this anger becomes intense, frequently, there can be major problems; problems within the family, relationships, and work and it can cause health problems.

People who are unable to manage their anger in a positive way are likely to transfer their anger to other situations such as child and spousal abuse, violent crimes and other types of recklessness. 

This anger management information is something an individual should consider when recognising they have a problem. There are all sorts of anger-provoking situations, and more anger management information that might be useful in working through anger-related issues.

Some people become mad or angry when they are frustrated when something doesn't work out the way they planned or they failed to succeed after giving their all, circumstances like these may cause a person to become frustrated. This frustration may lead to anger which can then spin off into a whole list of negative consequences. 

Irritations provoke anger.

Daily incidents such as constant reminders or regular interruptions can cause a person to become irritated. This irritation continues to grow and the result is a sudden fit of rage.

Depending on the individual this rage can cause a person to resort to different ways of releasing their anger, some of which may be painful to themselves and others. When an individual is being verbally abused, perhaps sexually abused, these situations provoke anger. 

People deal with these disturbing experiences differently but for those who become angry because of the abuse, the outcome could be very serious, even violent.

Anger management information such as this is imperative, especially in a situation where a person feels threatened. Being treated unfairly often provokes feelings of anger. Often people are blamed for things, whether warranted or not, it can cause them to feel angry and act out because of these feelings. 

There is so much information important to understanding anger management. The more details a person can gather, the better equipped they are when faced with circumstances involving an angry individual or if needing to tap into the information themselves.

Anger management information is available through many sources; books, movies, as well as the Internet. For a person who requires anger management information, the Internet is an excellent source. 

Many websites dedicated to anger management, it is very proficient in supplying the necessary information required concerning anger, consequences of anger, people affected by anger and anger management information. 

Without the appropriate anger management information, it would be difficult to begin a course of treatment that would be beneficial. It doesn't matter where the anger management information comes from.

It does matter, however, what an individual does with the information they are given. Reading and studying the information is essential but deciding what to do with this information will make the difference in resolving anger-related issues or not.

It’s always a good idea to let the past stay in the past. However, a traumatic experience can make this more challenging. Any incidents may affect the abilities of a person both physically and mentally. While time will help to a certain extent, it takes much more to get over something traumatic. trauma 

There is help available for people going through events like this. A first step may be to get therapy, which often requires months to years of extensive treatments before seeing significant results. Of course, outcomes will alter, which is based on each individual, but it can give people hope that things can improve. Their lives may never be the same as before the event, but at least they can live a more fulfilling life by receiving therapy.

Support groups can also be an excellent means to improve the lives of traumatic event victims. These groups often consist of others who are experiencing the same problem. The significant part about joining a group is people at various stages in their healing will be members of the group. That can help newer victims knowing that life can improve.

People’s attitude regarding their chances for improvement is a big part of the process. If someone isn’t hopeful, they won’t take the steps needed to move in the right direction. The support groups will offer encouragement, and they will also have members who can refer them to qualified resources in their recovery journey.

Many groups allow their members to speak at meetings and describe their feelings and progress. Without this, solitary can make having a support group worthwhile. It’s good for people to know they aren’t alone and that they can get the help they need and the encouragement of the group.

One of the enormous benefits of a support group is meeting new friends. These groups go on for years, and people get to know each other quite well. The relationships last beyond the group, and people often get together for different events and meetups.

To find a group, speak with your therapist to see if any are available in the area you live. You may need to dig to make sure the group you select is right for you when searching the web. They are growing, and some may be more general-purpose meetings when you need something specific to your trauma.

Learn more

Innovation. We hear that term each time we see a new product come out. It’s easy to think of innovation as creating something never thought of before. That’s not always the case. For example, using a telephone as a video device was built in the 1970s. But we don’t remember that because the timing was wrong. Instead, when Apple brings out their Facetime software, we think it’s an innovation. No. They had the right timing. The market was ready.

Innovation keeps the world spinning, but it isn’t quite what you may think. It can be used in business and your personal life. If you let it, it will bring you great personal growth and depth.

5 Characteristics of Being Innovative

To grow in your personal and professional life, you should consider how innovative you are. It’s not a trait you are born with, which is excellent because it means you can learn to be more innovative. Here are five characteristics of an innovative person:

1.  Outside-the-Box Thinking: It’s not about rule-breaking, per se. It’s about looking at an issue and considering all alternatives, including those that seem odd or unconventional. When you use your creative juices, you are well on your way to being an innovative thinker.

2.  Patience: Developing new ideas or business ventures take time. It helps if you had a high level of patience to work on that project or create that new online course. This can be tough when you want to hit the ground running, but often a little patience now leads to better success later.

3.  Ability to be Proactive: Always being reactive will leave you scrambling and increase your stress. Instead, by being proactive, you are on the lookout for solutions to challenges before they overwhelm you. It may include seeking coaching, taking a course, or asking for feedback.

4.    Excellent at Communicating: Innovative people are not shy about talking and networking with others. They understand the importance of communicating ideas and thoughts with others so that everyone is on board, especially if a change is coming.

5.    Lifelong Learners: Innovators can innovate because they don’t stop learning. If you love to learn, you are well on your way to developing your innovative muscle. You not only need to keep learning, but you should also have the desire to improve. This may include spending time to self-reflect and discover where you need to grow.  

Innovation isn’t just for Big Tech companies. It’s for you personally and professionally. Strive to become an innovative person and take the first step to build the life of your dreams.

Creativity and innovation are often used interchangeably. In reality, they are more like two sides of the same coin. When put together, they have different functions that produce new products and ways of thinking. Understanding the difference and how they work together gives you an edge on your business and personal goals. You have to have both to make your mark on the world.

How Creativity and Innovation Differ from (and Support) Each Other

You might think you know how to be creative. You may even consider that being creative is to be innovative. That’s not quite the case. Creativity can exist without innovation. But innovation is nonexistent without creativity. When you understand the difference between the two and how they can be used together, the sky is the limit:

Creativity Is a Characteristic:

Think about all of the ideas you come up with – widget to solve a customer problem or the ending to the novel you are writing. That’s being creative. It’s the generation of new ideas, alternatives, possibilities, and solutions. It’s using your imagination.

Innovation Is Putting Ideas into Practice:

All of those ideas remain on paper without innovation. That widget goes from an idea to testing to the marketplace through innovation. It’s taking creative ideas and putting them into action.

Other Ways to Think of Creativity and Innovation:

Creativity often happens in a brainstorming session; however, it remains in a creativity status unless an idea is implemented. You can measure innovation by the product or service produced. You cannot measure creativity. Another way to look at both is to see creativity as a front-end process that must happen before innovation can. Innovation takes risks; creativity does not. 

You Need Both to Prosper:

Today’s world seeks continual upgrades and new products or services. That means a company or entrepreneur needs to be innovative. You cannot implement a new idea if you don’t first generate the idea. That means you must be continually working on ideas. You cannot achieve success without innovation, and innovation requires creativity.

Innovation takes your ideas, considers how to bring them into reality, tests them, and then presents them to the world. Without creative thinking, though, your innovation will fall flat.

Ensure you stay relevant in the market by embracing both creativity and innovation. Encourage creative thinking with your colleagues and team members. Then put the ideas into practice through innovative techniques.

Frustrating. This feels especially bad when you quit after making significant inroads into the project. You wouldn’t think you’d leave something hanging like that, but you do.

Why?

We tend to be bad at reaching our goals. Not because we can’t make a decent goal or even put the work in. It's the follow-through that gets us down, mostly because goals tend to involve future success. It's hard to stay excited about something you're not going to finish for days or even weeks from now, even when we're motivated to do so.

The problem isn't us so much as the idea being somewhat abstract. Let's face it; we'd much rather do something which will give us immediate gratification. Games on your phone are designed to give you this instantly. Every level fulfilled sparks and dances with joy, giving you a pleasant little surge of dopamine in your brain with every high score.

Because we like this kind of immediate feedback, we tend to put off those far-off projects for more immediate gratification. If you’re like most people, you’ve probably even gotten good at justifying this abandonment. Trading one project for another, which is easier with a faster culmination, is easy to do. But is it satisfying?

Let's face it; sometimes, you do want to finish what you started. Those great big, interesting goals are the things that can change lives when you reach them. So how can you act with diligence and get things done even when the world pulls you in all directions?

Try This

Hone the Vision

It’s impossible to finish anything when you’re not clear what the eventual goal is. Take a few minutes and examine the project you have in mind. Can you visualize the outcome you want?

Be Fully Committed

Once you have a clear idea of where you're going, ask yourself why you're doing this. What motivates you? What about this excites you? Hold onto these thoughts and make a verbal commitment to this goal. And yes, saying it out loud does make a difference!

Create Your Space

Here’s where you need to set up where the magic happens. Wherever you choose to work, make sure you’ve reduced distractions.

Make Temptation Impossible

This is crucial no matter what the goal. If you have a project you need to dig into for work, it might be you need to turn off your phone or put it in a drawer for a bit. If you're working on your health, this is where you get rid of the cookies from the cupboard. Make it as difficult as you can to throw off your progress.

Organize

Do you have the tools you need to start? Now is the time to assemble them if you don’t. This is also a good place to get any research done you might need. Once you’ve got the materials, take a few minutes to create a game plan. What’s the goal for today? What do you need to get done for the next milestone? This should be laid out in simple, bite-sized pieces of work.

Set the Stage

Do you work better with peppy music? Does it help to listen to an inspiring podcast before you begin? Do you have a mantra you use to put yourself in the right mindset? By creating a routine before work, you tell your brain you're ready to work now and get things done. Do this often enough, and you'll turn this routine into a trigger that puts you in the perfect headspace instantly, which is important in creating the necessary momentum.

Start Early

If you can, begin working as early in the day as possible. Studies have shown an earlier start to the day is crucial to success. This is important even if you're not what you would term a 'morning' person. Why? The longer you wait to start your day, the more likely you are to put off beginning until tomorrow. Also, if you jump in early, you're going to feel amazingly productive by lunch.

Some consider loneliness a primary emotion, on a par with fear and anger. For millions of years, survival relied on being part of a gathering; being isolated from your community was dangerous. 

But now, a fear of loneliness can keep us in a toxic relationship, unfulfilling jobs, or destructive marriages.

Loneliness comes in many guises. It can be temporary with situational loneliness where you find yourself without any camaraderie or support. Or you can be going through a life crisis that results in more extended social isolation.

A relationship breakdown, losing your job, being seriously ill, and needing to self-isolate with the virus can make you feel completely cut off from love and support.

The COVID-19 pandemic forced us to confront loneliness in a new way. Social distancing restrictions and lockdowns meant many more people now faced social isolation and loneliness.

Studies by University College London reported in the Nursing Times concluded that "efforts to reduce social isolation of older people are likely to have positive outcomes for their well-being, and this research suggests that they could also reduce mortality".

However, everyone feels lonely from time to time. It’s a normal part of the human experience and is something you can’t avoid in life.

But some people are more vulnerable to slipping from loneliness into depression.

Or there can be hard times in your life when feeling lonely is only one step away from isolation and depression.

Types of Loneliness

If you wish to live a happier life, you may have to learn how to deal with loneliness when it happens. Psychologists have identified seven different types of loneliness.

1. ‘New Kid’ Loneliness

2. Not Fitting in Loneliness

3. Lack of Romance Loneliness

4. Missing a Pet Loneliness

5. Too Busy for Me Loneliness

6. Toxic Fringes Loneliness

7. Lack of Company Loneliness

We all have moments where we fall into perfectionism. For some of us, this might happen kind of often. For others, it's reserved for those special occasions where we have a project where we can't rest until we get it right

While occasional super-attention-to-detail is okay, it’s when we make perfectionism a way of life that it becomes a problem. Those are the times when we finally need to take charge of our lives and learn how to let go.

Try this:

Start at the Core

Why are you so wrapped up in perfectionism? Are you truly trying to become a better person somehow, or are you just trying to impress someone else or meet expectations from those around you? Neither of these reasons is very healthy, and both need to be addressed.

Drop the “Should”

The moment you start using this word in a conversation, especially regarding your action, you're already driving yourself crazy. Remind yourself you don’t need validation from anyone. You’re good just by being you.

Rewrite the Script

What are you telling yourself as you throw yourself into perfectionism? Do you think this is the path to success? Or do you have other unrealistic expectations of the outcome? Here's where you switch up your self-talk to get out of any negative spaces and unrealistic outcomes.

Drop the Comparisons

Speaking of self-talk, just who are you holding up as role models? Has this to become unhealthy, going from "I want to be more like them" to "Why can't I have everything they do?”

Wouldn’t it feel better to celebrate where you are right now and all the effort you’ve been putting into things?

Show Some Mercy

Perfection never allows for excuses. If you can't succeed, you're automatically a failure. By chasing imperfection, you learn the value of self-forgiveness and the ability to let go of your mistakes in favour of embracing the lessons you can learn from them.

You wouldn’t think these steps are all so very important at first glance. After all, is chasing imperfection worthwhile?

The answer is a resounding, "Yes!" Perfection is what pulls us away from others and gets us so tangled up inside with worry and stress about getting things right; that we negatively impact our mental and physical health.

With this in mind, isn’t it time to let go and enjoy life once and for all?

Calm down. Seriously.

We all have things that leave us on edge. Sometimes it’s an event or a person (like a visit from your mother-in-law). Sometimes we’re more anxious due to more significant issues, leaving us unsure of our safety and well-being, like when a severe illness is going around. Whatever the case, anxiety is adept at derailing our lives and keeping us from accomplishing what we want and need to.

How do you handle this kind of nervous worrying? If you’re lucky, you eventually learn how to take it in stride. For some people, their coping skills aren’t healthy. For others, they flounder, trying to find their way. If you’re in these latter groups, consider this: Visualization is a proven skill shown to reduce anxiety and create a calmer and happier you. Let’s explore how.

Go Somewhere Else

Feeling especially fearful? It’s time for a trip to feel someplace safe. For some, this might be the beach. Or perhaps you’d feel more at home by a mountain lake or city café sipping coffee. Wherever you feel the safest and most at home, you want to go there now in your mind. Start by sitting back and making yourself comfortable. Close your eyes and picture yourself in your favourite place. Add in every detail you can to make this experience as real as possible. Include all your senses in the background. Breathe deeply, holding yourself in this place until you feel calm and somewhat refreshed.

Unwind with some String

Feeling all tense and coiled up inside? This usually comes when you’re holding back too many emotions. Picture yourself carrying around all these knotted emotions tangled up with words you’ve wanted to say all day but couldn’t. Make all these feelings into an imaginary ball of yarn. Now sit back and take several calming breaths as you withdraw this ball of yarn and hold it in your hand. Do you feel the weight? Good. Now drop it on the floor, holding onto the end of the string so that the ball rolls away from you, unravelling as it goes. Watch all the strands of yarn unwind, disappearing as they do. Stay in the vision until the entire ball is unwound and gone, and you’re feeling lighter and more relaxed.

Shut it Out

Our thoughts can be noisy things. We hear so many voices in our heads, reminding of us deadlines, things to do, and people to see. Add to this the negative self-talk which creeps in occasionally and the half-heard phrases we’ve carried with us, which sound suspiciously like our parents, and you’ve got a lot of chatter and no peace. For this kind of problem, visualize yourself in a room with a big open window. Set all these voices outside the window. Now, take a deep breath and shut the window firmly. This is a nice thick double-paned glass. You can no longer hear the voices when the window is closed.

With visualizations like these, you tell your mind to calm. You take back control where you need it most and set your feet back on a better path. Remember, you’re in charge of what goes on in your head. Don’t let anxiety set the tone for you.

Using positive affirmations every day is a powerful way of switching up your mindset and setting you on the path to success. More and more people, from sports stars to entrepreneurs, are using affirmations to change their mindsets to concentrate on achieving their goals and creating the life they really want. You’ll be surprised at how easy it is to create your own, powerful, positive affirmations focused on what you want.

1.    Take Control with “I Am” Statements

Affirmations are much more powerful if they start with the words “I am.” Those two little words immediately make whatever follows personalized and immediate. Straight away, the affirmation is not generic, but yours is focused on what you want to be or have right now.

Keep it in the Present

Notice the words “I am” are not “I want” or “I will.” A powerful affirmation puts you right in the middle of what you want to achieve right now. Not something to work towards or wish might happen, but is happening now.

Keep it Positive

Powerful affirmations make you feel good. They are positive. Keep the focus on want you want, not what you don’t want.

Keep it Brief

You’re not writing an essay or even a wish list. Keep your affirmation short and focused, so it’s easy to remember.

Keep it Specific

A powerful affirmation is focused on precisely what you want. If it’s a house in a particular street or a trip to a small Tuscan village, or a specific weight goal, the detail in your affirmation. Make it as real as you can.

Include an Action

Powerful affirmations have energy—they have an active, present tense verb in them. Think of what you’re doing in your desired life. Are you enjoying your new home? Relaxing on that Hawaiian beach? Driving your new car?

Include a Positive Emotion

If your affirmation is going to make you feel good, you have to evoke the positive emotion you want to feel. How will you feel when you achieve your goal? Happy? Grateful? Proud of yourself?

Stay Attentive to Yourself

The most potent affirmation are the ones you make for yourself. That’s why generic affirmations have a limited effect. They might feel good at the moment but won’t go to the heart of what you want for yourself.

Create an Affirmation Habit

Like any new behaviour, affirmations are most powerful when they are repeated regularly and consistently. Set up a positive habit by writing down your affirmations and committing to repeating them to yourself at least three times a day. Morning, midday, and bedtime might be convenient times for you.

Include positive affirmations that are part of your regular routine and manifest the life of your dreams.

We are all born with a certain amount of intuition. From a very young age, the problem is that we are often told to ignore our emotions or that our feelings are just wrong. Much like force-feeding an infant can cause the child to ignore their natural hunger control mechanism, it is the same with emotions. The more we have been taught to push down our feelings, the more likely we are not to trust our innate emotions.

You Get a Feeling in Your Gut That Something Is Wrong

Everyone has a natural ability to know if something is not right in any given situation.

The problem is, over time, you may have pushed down those emotions as wrong or even absurd. You meet a new person, and you feel like something is off for no known reason. You talk to someone and believe they are lying. While you may not want to react to these instances that aren’t cause for immediate danger, keep an open mind and keep your eyes open. You’ll find out that you’re right more than you’re wrong.

The Hairs on the Back of Your Neck Stand Up

Every human is born with a “flight or fight” reaction. Sometimes the hairs on the back of your neck will stand up, or you get prickly and feel like running. Most of the time, you should pay attention to this feeling. Often, you’ll find that when you think that way, a spider is nearby, or you are in grave danger. Do not ignore these nagging feelings, ever. Even if you’re wrong, it’s best to be safe.

You sense the need to help someone.

T.V. commercials use these emotions when they want you to send money to save the starving child in Africa or donate to save abused animals. When watching those commercials, the emotion you feel is typical, and you should respect them. Please don’t push it down when you feel compelled to help people. Freely offer help because denying your feelings about this will cause you to feel bad about yourself.

You Feel Pulled to Do Something Different

You’re sitting in your cubicle, bored to tears wanting desperately to do something different, but you are afraid to change. If you feel pulled in a new direction, take the time to give it real consideration instead of nixing it immediately. Bill Gates didn’t allow nagging doubt to stop him from becoming so successful.

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Many of us have been taught that anger is a bad thing. Your parents, teachers, and other authority figures reminded you to reign in your outbursts. You have probably shared that with your kids or others. Yes, there are times when getting angry helps you. It might spur you on to change. However, holding onto anger can affect you, your relationships, and your health. When you strive to let go of those things that don’t serve you or your goals, letting go of anger should be at the top of your list.

How Anger Harms Your Health and Wellbeing

Think about the last outburst you had. Do you remember how your body tensed up? Did you see fear creep into your partner’s eyes as your face turned red?

Uncontrolled anger will cost you many things, including your health. Here is how living in a state of rage hurts your overall well-being:

Your Heart Breaks: This isn’t heartbreak from losing the love of your life, though it could happen. Outbursts may put you at a greater risk of a heart attack. Repressed anger is no better, as it may be associated with heart disease.

Your Stroke Risk Increases: Some studies suggest that you may be three times more likely to have a stroke after an outburst.

Your Immune System Takes a Hit: Want to ward off sickness? Get rid of the anger. It’s possible to lose some significant infection-fighting power when you stay angry.

Your Anxiety May Skyrocket: Anger may exacerbate your anxiety, making day-to-day living much harder. Internalized anger may do the most damage.

Your Lifespan May be Shortened: Anger causes your body to live in a constant state of stress. Stress is linked to your overall well-being. That's to say – staying angry equals a short lifespan.

If you feel like you spend your life trying to be happy but never quite getting there, instead of shrugging your shoulders, why not decide to change, right now. Here are four of the most common things people don’t do, that keep them stuck in dissatisfaction.

1.    You don’t know your purpose

Knowing your purpose is key to living a fulfilled and happy life. Once you know what you’re good at, what energizes you and makes you want to get out of bed in the morning, you can really live an authentic life.

Choose not to stay stuck acting like the victim, choose not to be powerless, choose not to stay unhappy. Take a good look at your values, and what you’re really passionate about, and go for it!

2.    You don’t act on your potential

Once you know what you want to do, you need to realize your potential and make it happen. But don’t be discouraged if it’s not as easy as you would like. There will be setbacks, disappointments, and maybe even failure. But if you’re committed to your purpose, be strong and keep pushing and learning and adapting. You’ll never regret trying to become your best you.

3.    You’re not living in the present

Dissatisfaction looks around and sees what you didn’t do, and casts doubt on what you will do. Don’t be that person! Real contentment finds happiness in the here and now. Don’t get caught up in brooding over past mistakes or worrying about the future. You can’t go back and fix the past, and it’s up to you to do your best tomorrow. Look around and see what you have right now and enjoy it.

4.    You’re holding onto negativity

The person who has the most influence on your happiness is you. Sit back and think of how that mixtape in your head runs. What’s your self-talk like? Is it encouraging or blaming? If you have a barrage of negative messages in your head, it’s hard to stay afloat, let alone have the energy to be your best you. Turn that negative self-talk around and become your own cheerleader. If you tell yourself you’ll succeed, you’re much more likely to think you can - and then you will!

Who hasn’t been hurt by someone? Your spouse cheated on you. Your best friend from high school stole your boyfriend. Maybe you have a co-worker stealing your ideas or a boss who bullies you. Worse, you might have experienced trauma from physical, mental, or other forms of abuse. As time passes, some wounds don’t heal, and when that happens, you may be carrying a grudge.

Grudges are those leftover feelings of anger and resentment that prevent you from growing as a person. It’s time to let go and move beyond your past.

Tips to Let Go of Grudges and Get Your Life Back

Holding a grudge is often an indication of unforgiving. It can tear at your soul and corrode your physical and emotional health. It can affect all of your current and future relationships. Take the needed steps to release the grudge and gain your life back:

1.    Establish Why You Are Holding The Grudge:

You need to determine what the problem is so that it can be forgiven. Sometimes, you will find that the offence is not worth the grudge. Other times, you will know precisely what is causing the pain.

2.    Consider the Benefits of Forgiveness:

Choosing to forgive does not mean you forget, nor does it mean that the other person won. Instead, it means you let go of the resentment holding you back from living your life fully.

3.    Acknowledge Your Emotions:

Avoid stuffing the emotions down. Use a journal if you want, but take some time to examine your feelings about the harm you received. Also, think about how this affects your behaviour and your relationships.

4.    Look at it from Their Perspective:

This will not always apply, depending on the harm done. However, try putting yourself in their shoes. Under similar circumstances, would you have done the same thing to them?

5.    Talk with the Other Party:

Open communication can remedy some grudges simply. If you believe it will help, approach the other party to see if they will talk with you.

6.    Release the Victimhood:

Choose to accept what happened and your feelings about it. You don’t have to wait for an apology. (HINT: You may never get one.) Instead, stop playing the ‘wounded one’ card and take back your life by healing, releasing the anger and the grudge.

7.    Avoid Dwelling:

This may be the most challenging part, but it is critical. Once you choose to forgive, don’t look back. Avoid dwelling on the situation. If others want to bring it up, change the subject. Your healing is worth it.

Grudges don’t need to define you as a person. Let go of the past and spring forward to your new life by releasing resentments today.

Fear can be an effective catalyst for motivation. For example, if your boss tells you to get your project done on time or you will lose your job, you can be sure you’re going to do everything in your power to get that project done. You may resent your boss for doing this, but you are probably going to do as he or she wishes unless you are looking to get fired.

Another situation where fear will motivate you is when something crucial breaks in your home. It could be the furnace giving out in the middle of winter. You are at a point where you have no choice but to call for expensive repairs. If you don’t, you’ll risk the pipes freezing and being uncomfortable.

We all have a certain amount of fear-based motivation. But, is it the best way to get people to do things? In the case of the furnace, you’ll have no choice and have to chalk it up to being a part of life. But, in the case of your boss harping on to you, is there a better way for him or her to handle the situation? Can you continually work in an environment based on that kind of fear?

It’s questionable whether motivation based on fear is sustainable. If you are an employee and there aren’t many jobs available as alternatives, you may feel like you have no choice but to comply. But, sometimes, this kind of negative working environment gets people more motivated to get out of the situation. In other words, the motivation tactics may work in the short term, but eventually, employers may experience a high turnover when those employees recognize there are other choices. The internet is a great equalizer in this regard, as more people can choose to freelance on their terms.

There’s an old saying about how you catch more flies with honey. If managers would recognize they would get more loyalty out of people by offering incentives rather than scare tactics to get their employees to do the work, maybe turnover wouldn’t be so high. Unfortunately, these managers don’t learn this until it’s too late. And even then, will they make any changes? Often, they make the justification that it’s the employee’s fault, and they decided to leave.

Think about the impact you have if you are a manager trying to motivate your employees. If you have used fear as a motivator, is it something that has worked for you in the long term? Or, did you simply set an environment where people couldn’t wait to getaway? 

Motivation.

Motivation compels us to set objectives and, more importantly - forces us towards them. If you want to know how to tap into the power of motivation, then listen to the following tips. 

Know What You Want

What is the point of motivation if you don't know what you want? Without having a clear vision of exactly what you desire, you won't be able to build up enough stimulus to get through the obstacles you are sure to face. 

Know Why You Want It

This step is just as important as knowing what you want. Why do you want to reach specific goals? What will it mean to your life? Think about all the people you don't want to let down in your life. These are the "whys," and they are essential. 

Set Goals That Excite You

It's beneficial to set reasonable goals that are easy to reach, and I would never suggest stopping that. However, it can also help to set some relatively wild or audacious goals. These goals might seem out of reach right now, but the allure of reaching them in the future might motivate you in the present.

Measure Your Results

Tracking and measuring your progress is key to motivation, and your motivation will naturally rise when you can genuinely see your efforts paying off. If you don't track and measure, how else will you know if you are making progress?

Reward Yourself 

If you are tracking your improvement, make sure you reward yourself. Rewarding yourself will ensure that you stay motivated. You are more likely to keep plugging away when you can see that reward getting closer and closer.

Use Your Social Circle 

Building accountability through your social circle is a great idea. When you have a big goal you want to achieve, let the people in your life know. Besides them potentially helping you along the way, it will also make you more accountable. The funny thing is that we are more likely to let ourselves down than our loved ones. 

Fake It

Are you not feeling motivated or energetic today?

Try faking it.

This tactic won't work all of the time, but it could help you get through a slow morning or 2. Pump yourself up with some music. Chug some coffee. Jump around if you have to. Anything to make yourself feel a bit more energetic.

Take Action

Have you ever sat down to work and couldn't get started? Sometimes, all it takes to boost your motivation is accomplishing a straightforward task. Pick the single, most direct thing you can do towards any of your goals and do it. Most likely, this will motivate you to take on the next challenge.

Discover Your Inspiration

People get inspired by different things. To maximise your motivation, you need to figure out what inspires you. Maybe it's a specific type of music. Perhaps it's a view from your house, and it could be a motivational speaker or celebrity. Find out what inspires you and schedule some time to immerse yourself in it each day.

Actionable Stages

Think about all of your goals and desires. Now list why each is important to you. If you don't want to get overwhelmed, focus on one or two primary goals.

Keep thinking about the goals from the last tip. Now, think about how you can reward yourself for hitting your milestones along the way. When is a good time for a reward? What is a good bonus?

Find 2-3 things that truly inspire you. Maybe it's a TedTalk on Youtube, or it might be a music playlist you can put on whenever you need it. Regardless of what it is, find what inspires you, and immerse yourself in it.

Right now, I want to talk about the notion of faking it 'til you make it, which is kind of a common term if you read a lot of self-improvement books.

The idea is that if you act a certain way, even if you don't feel that way if you act that way long enough you can create the feeling. You can create this new result.

Which can work when used properly, but I think it's misunderstood. A lot of people think fake it 'til you make it means you pretend you're successful when you're not. 

You borrow a bunch of money to buy a fancy car or suit or watch, to give other people the impression that you're successful at sales, but meanwhile you never actually learn how to sell anything.

That's not really good implementation of fake it until you make it. You're probably just going to go broke.

A better implementation of fake it 'til you make it would be you take on a new job and that job requires that you deliver presentations, that you're a trainer, and you speak in front of people, and you hate doing it. You're scared. You're terrified. You don't want to get in front of that crowd because it's a scary thought. You're not used to doing it

But you have to do it because it's part of your new job.

Well, you don't have to let your audience know that you're terrified, that on the inside you feel these anxieties and these fears. You can fake it. You can fake confidence. You can act as though you're confident, you're well-prepared, that you're ready to tackle the world. That you love doing it.

You can act that way. You can appear to the outside world that you love what you're doing. On the inside, they don't really know what's going on. You can hide the fact that you might be feeling a little nervous right now, or maybe even worse than that.

This is an example of fake it 'til you make it, where it actually works.

The thing is if you act that way long enough, and I've actually done this because I used to be a speaker and a trainer who was very, very nervous, and I tried this, and it worked flawlessly.

I started walking into my training rooms, acting like I owned the place. Behaving like I was totally confident. Meanwhile, on the inside, I was really almost falling apart with nerves. 

But I would crack jokes, I'd have a smile on my face, I would hold my head high, I would practice the body language of somebody who was confident.

Before I knew it, I would do this for maybe just a couple of days, and by the end of that little exercise, I was feeling massive levels of confidence. The level of nerves and anxiety that I had experienced had drastically been reduced.

This is an example of faking it until you make it that actually works, that actually causes change, and that's a little more truthful when you think about it.

If you start flashing cash and showing that you drive an expensive car when really you haven't earned any of those things, that's really going to hurt you in the long run.

When you fake your confidence, when you fake a way of being, a personality, if that's not your true personality, but you want to be like that, faking it until you make it a reality is actually the way to do it.

That's how you alter your self-image. That's how you become this new person. It's really practising who you want to become.

From a personality perspective, faking it 'til you make it is perfect. Just use it within the right context.

Who are your friends?

A recent survey has determined you might not have a lot of close relationships in your life. In fact, the number of people who claim to have more than three solid friendships in their lives is only 37% or one-third of the population. Even more discouraging is the idea that fully 27% of adults say they have no close relationships at all.

Making friends as an adult is a daunting idea. For one thing, we’re swamped. We get caught up on our personal responsibilities and business goals that frequently we don’t make time for a social life outside of loose connections with our children’s friends’ parents and professional networking. Who has the time?

Thankfully, you do. It actually takes less time than you think to discover the joy of adult friendships. You can start with these simple tips:

Start with the Old

Why reinvent the wheel? Instead, ask yourself who your friends used to be. Is it possible you can rekindle some old friendships? In this era of social media, tracking down your best friend from high school is easier than ever. Why not shoot someone a quick message or text to open up the conversation all over again?

Become a Listener

When in groups of new people, rather than working hard to be the life of the party, why not take a step back? Making a point to actively listen to people makes you more attractive to those around you (everyone loves a listener) and puts you in the position of discovering the things which intrigue you most about others. It’s a simple way to learn about shared interests, so you can strike up a friendship.

Take it to the Next Level

Have acquaintances, but aren’t quite ready to call them friends yet? Try opening up a little. Being vulnerable forges intimacy with others and deepens the friendship, taking it to the next level.

Stay in Touch

Worried about how to hang onto the friends you have?

If you want to keep people from falling off the radar and becoming distant, make a point to check in with them once in a while. Send a text, make a call, and set up a chance to get together. By checking in, you’re telling the other person they’re important to you and worth your time. A general rule of thumb? Connect about every two weeks.

Make a Group

Even better? Start putting your friends together in one place by creating a group of friends. There’s nothing more fun than hanging out in a gathering of people who enjoy each other’s company. Start simple, with a lunch date or drinks after work.

Not everyone is going to get it right. Sadly, there’s always someone quick to point out when you’re getting it wrong. It’s when you come under fire that you lose confidence quickly.

To get past this kind of blow to our confidence, you need to understand these simple truths:

Not Everyone Has It Right. Not Even You

Haters are going to hate. But just because someone comes at you with the most reasonable-sounding explanation in the world of why you’re an idiot (and you’re an expert at giving that speech to yourself), the truth is, the person doing the talking quite likely doesn’t know what they’re talking about. This is because of one simple truth: People really don’t know everything, and even when they think they do, they have a tendency to get things wrong. So just because something nasty has been said, it doesn’t make it right. Regardless of who it’s coming from.

A Lot of Criticism is Grounded in Jealousy

That disaster you’re beating yourself up over? How much of it was the result of the green-eyed monster?

Too often, we give people authority over us, they don’t deserve it. We listen to their complaints thinking they’re right without questioning why they’re attacking what you’re doing. The biggest culprit of why you’ve drawn the attention of the critics is jealousy. Don’t let someone pull down your confidence just because they’re feeling threatened by where you are.

You’re Better Than You Think

The loss of confidence can make you a critic.

Why?

Because now you’re looking for justification for thinking you’re no good. And trust me, when you go hunting for this kind of justification, you’ll always find it. Here’s where you need to back up and take a good, hard, impartial look at yourself. Ask:

·       Is This Thought Really True?

For example, you might be thinking, “I fail at everything I do.” Is this realistic? Probably not.

·       If This Thought Isn’t True, What Emotion is it Coming From?

The most likely explanation? A lot of negative emotions come from fear. In the previous example, you might be afraid of failing, so by convincing yourself you’re a failure already, you no longer have to try.

·       What’s a Truer Statement I Might Make Instead?

Try rewording the thought and keep it honest. ‘I’m afraid of failing, but since I’ve succeeded in the past, there’s good reason to think I will succeed now.”

Confidence comes from accepting the reality of who you are and where you are. Remember, nobody, not even you, has a right to make you feel small.

If you read enough self-help books, you will notice the recurring theme of surrounding yourself with the right people. You may have even heard your mom tell you to stop running with the wrong crowd. These are helpful suggestions, but what happens when the wrong type of personality surrounds you? How can the kinds of people affect your success goals?

How the Wrong People Affect You

You don’t want to eliminate relationships with everyone, but sometimes it makes sense to limit your exposure to them. Consider these ways that the wrong or unhelpful people in your life affect your path to success:

1.    They leave you physically and emotionally drained.

Some people are happiest when they can bring you down to their level. Think of that friend, cousin, or sibling that doesn’t want to see others doing better than they are. These are the ones who will point out all the reasons you shouldn’t do things instead of cheering you on. We all have at least one. If you notice that you feel worse about your choices after being with them, then it might be time to limit your exposure to them.

2.    Their limiting beliefs will limit you. These are the people who have a scarcity mindset. They are generous with their criticism but stingy with their praise. They don’t believe there is enough to go around, and you should be on the same plane of thought as they are. Hanging around with a person with limiting beliefs can stifle your creativity. You may have to discern what types of conversations you can have with them, as they just don’t understand.

3.    Their negativity will pull you down into the cesspools of negative thoughts. Not everyone is positive all the time. Most of us try to keep a positive outlook and look for the good in others and the circumstances. Negative people don’t. They don’t seem ever to see the bright side of things. If you are around this type of attitude for too long, you may join them in the quicksand of negative emotions. Don’t try to combat a negative person, and don’t sink to their level. Keep your positive outlook and look for those who want to share your positivity.

Make the most of your success journey by surrounding yourself with those who will support and help you on your way. 

When we have a long-term goal we are working towards, it’s easy to be so focused on it that we start to believe we won’t be happy until we reach it. It’s important to have long-term goals, but not at the expense of your daily life.

Staying in a place of gratitude for what you already have and what you’ve already achieved in your life can be a huge benefit in reaching your goals.

Gratitude Makes You Happier

Neurologists have learned that feelings of gratitude actually change the way your brain works. When you are consciously aware of all the wonderful things in your life, you are happier and more content.

When you are happy and feeling good about your life, it’s easier to believe that more good things await you down the road.

Gratitude Lowers Stress

A life filled with the struggle to always be better will lead to a life of stress. Yes, you want to reach your goals. You want to unlock all the potential that’s inside you. But finding a way to balance this desire with gratitude for what you’ve already accomplished and what you have in your life today is also important.

When constantly pushing yourself forward, it’s easy to believe you aren’t good enough today. Focusing on what you have to be grateful for today lowers your stress level and helps you enjoy the journey to your ultimate goal.

Gratitude Makes You More Optimistic

Believing the grass is always greener on the other side is a sure way to ensure your dissatisfaction with life. It makes you feel like you may never get the life you want. This pessimism just makes everything in life harder.

You may even just give up on your dreams because you don’t believe you can attain them. Keeping a grateful mindset offers you a way to enjoy life now and look forward to the future, once your goals have been realized.

Obtaining a grateful spirit doesn’t take a lot of time and effort, but it makes a huge difference in your life.

Start by keeping a small notebook with you or using an app on your phone to note the little things that happen throughout your day that you are grateful for.

Some people prefer to keep a gratitude journal by their bed and add a short list of things that they are grateful for that day. Give it a try if you feel you’ve been too focused on a goal, and it’s making you unappreciative of what you already have.

 In this day and age, individuals are usually encouraged to suppress their feelings and emotions for several reasons. Your job wants you to remain professional, and kids are taught that expressing emotions makes you weak. But all this avoidance of feelings can cause them to fester and grow into serious issues such as anxiety and depression. This is why it is time to stop avoiding your feelings.

Mindfulness

The number one tool you can use to stop avoiding your emotions is applying mindfulness to your life. Mindfulness is taking time out of your day to spend with yourself, your thoughts, and your feelings. Mindfulness will teach you who you are as a person and how to accept yourself just the way you're. It can also teach you about how and why you feel certain emotions, and you’ll learn to express them properly instead of burying them within.

Meditation

Another easy way to begin to confront your feelings and work through them is through the practice of regular meditation. Medical professionals worldwide simply rave about the health benefits of meditation. Several studies have shown that it can help with even more serious issues such as anxiety and depression.

So, it’s time to engage in meditation in your own life daily, so you can spend time processing your emotions in a safe space.

Deal With Your Emotions Immediately

A common tactic in emotional repression is when you experience something that you resolve to deal with it later. The problem is, that you rarely actually end up dealing with it later. This is why it is good practice to decide to work through your emotions when they come around. If someone says something that upsets you, tell them that, right then and there, and then the issue can be resolved immediately. This is much better than burying the pain of the hurtful words until they grow to be something worse when the words may have been a simple misunderstanding.

Overall, it can be a challenging task to learn to stop avoiding your feelings. But if you are going to live a happy and healthy life, you must learn to express your feelings to yourself, and others, respectfully. So, start with a bit of mindfulness, meditation, and immediacy, and soon you’ll find you’ll no longer feel like you need to hide your emotions. 

You’re midway through the project, and you’re losing appeal. Motivation is about to go out the window, and you feel helpless to keep it. What can you do to stay motivated so that you can stay on track through the remainder of the project? Try these tips:

1. The first thing you need to do is visualize your success. 

Before you go another step, you need to see yourself at the end of the project with everything accomplished to your satisfaction. Why? Because what we tell ourselves will happen – will happen exactly how we tell ourselves. So if you’re caught up in thoughts of failure, you’re already likely to crash and burn.

Likewise, if you see yourself at the finish line, with the project completed, you’re much more likely actually to succeed. So keep a positive image in your head, and keep going.

2. Next, stop worrying. 

Yes, that’s easier said than done, but the more you worry, the more you’re going to derail your motivation and any energy and enthusiasm you still had for the project. To do this, you will have to look critically at what you’re doing and ask yourself if there are things you can change.

If so – change them. If not, then let them go. Motivated people don’t get caught up in worry, but instead, they make it a habit of looking to the future.

3. If you intend to stay motivated, you’re going to need to be consistent in action and set positive goals. 

Motivation flags when neglected, so to keep the energy where it’s going to do the project the most good, you’ll want to make sure that you’re constantly moving forward.

That means checking your motivation levels daily and then taking action to keep those levels up. Even if you’re taking the weekend off from work, you should take at least a few minutes to indulge in thoughts about your project, where you remind yourself that you’re looking forward to jumping back in on Monday morning. That keeps motivation and interest high even when you’re not working. 

4. If you’re still having trouble with motivation, check to see who’s hanging around. 

It could be that you have too many negative influences around you. Surround yourself with positive people who are also highly motivated individuals. All that positive energy is bound to rub off on you!

5. Lastly, keep a positive environment where motivation can thrive. 

Listen to music that motivates. Use positive affirmations, read motivational books, or listen to podcasts that make you want to jump right back into your project. A lot of staying motivated comes from feeding yourself with a steady diet of inspiring things.

Staying motivated doesn’t have to be an impossible task. Some attention to the details will keep you on track as you work and help you to get to the finish line. Be mindful of what you’re doing, and with a variety of positive influences, you’ll get to where you want to go.

As a kid, did you dream about being a police officer, astronaut, or computer game programmer?

If so, you had long-term hopes that influenced everything you did, from the television, shows you watched to the classes you took in school. Without those aspirations, you may have felt like you were floundering in the choppy seas called life.

Many people go through life without a real feeling of accomplishment or end goals. They graduate high school, maybe go to college, and enter adulthood with all their responsibilities. Without having a sense of a bigger purpose to guide them, they may feel hopeless and have developmental health issues, such as depression.

Why Having Aspirations Matter

Your life makes a difference when you have lifelong dreams. Having a long-term goal in mind gives you a roadmap for your life. It gives you hope when things go askew. Here is why

1.    They Help You Figure Out the ‘Why’ in Your Life:

Why do you go to the same job every day? Why did you choose to get a degree in biology?

When you answer similar questions, you are developing your aspirations. Your answers may take you into a new area of your career or family life. You will start finding your purpose.

2.    They Guide Your Life and Career Choices:

As you determine the type of person you want to be or the type of career you want, your dreams will guide your decisions.

For example, you may end toxic relationships. You may take a new position or turn down a promotion based on where you see yourself later in life.

3.   They Motivate You:

Let’s say you have children and hope one day to have grandchildren. Yet, you are overweight and struggle to keep up with your kids. If you dream that you will be an active grandmother, you will find ways to change your life now to get healthier. You will have the motivation to enhance your life.

4.    You Become Self-Aware:

Being self-aware keeps you in touch with your feelings and helps you make better life decisions. You will learn what brings you inner peace and happiness. You will pursue those goals that are intrinsically rewarding, too.

Avoid chasing the wind. Take time to think about your life now and how you want it to be in the future. Soon, you will find yourself in a much more rewarding place as you work on your aspirations.

Do you have hopes and dreams?

Do you have the ambition to achieve a life goal in the future? You have aspirations.

These big picture life goals give us a sense of purpose and direction as we live out each day.

Don’t be mistaken. Having goals and aspirations is not the same thing.

Goals are action steps to get you to a final destination, while aspirations tend to be more general and long-term future-focused. Think of it this way, when you want to look back on your career and know you met all your goals, that is an aspiration. Obtaining a new position within six months is a goal. They work together, but they have separate functions.

A Breakdown of Aspirations

Having aspirations gives your life more meaning and focus. There are various types that we lean on when we start dreaming of our future. People have different outlooks on what their aspirations are. Some are simple, such as being a steady provider for their family. Others aim higher to become famous or rich.

Researchers have discerned there are two main types of aspirations we aim for – intrinsic and extrinsic. They are centred on common themes that can indicate our sense of purpose. Here is the breakdown between the two kinds to help you in determining what types of aspirations you tend to focus on:

1.    Intrinsic: These are the aspirations that satisfy your need to enhance your well-being.

Typically, they are centred on relationships, contributions to the community, health, and personal growth. For example, you may aspire to make friends, build relationships, and volunteer for a good cause.

This would be considered a social aspiration. Other examples include building a family (family aspirations) or developing new skills, such as in music or art (skill aspirations).

2.    Extrinsic: This variety includes achieving an instrumental outcome. If you want to be seen as physically attractive, wealthy, or popular, then you are aiming for extrinsic aspirations.

When you were growing up, did you want a million dollars?

That is a financial aspiration. In high school, did you want to be popular? You may have had popularity goals.

What about career aspirations? Many of us hope to accomplish certain things within our careers that are both intrinsic and extrinsic.

They are often tied to our desire to have a certain image or salary, but they can also have bits of personal growth and community contributions mixed in.

When you have dreams, you hope that your loved ones will come alongside you and help you achieve them.

This is especially true in a romantic relationship. Sometimes, your aspirations will align, and things will be smooth sailing.

Other times, you may feel like you are on opposite ends of the universe with no way to meet in the middle.

 It is possible to support each other in your respective pursuits. It takes some patience and open communication, but it is doable when you understand how aspirations can affect your relationship.

Relationships vs. Aspirations: How They Affect Each Other

It is vital to understand that your goals, dreams, and aspirations will ebb and flow as you live life. They will also affect your relationships and vice versa. Consider how relationships and aspirations go hand-in-hand or battle it out for your future:

1.    Love has a way of distracting you: That new love will keep you busy with dates and fun activities. This also means you may stop writing or painting daily. You may even skip class or networking events so that you can be with your new love.

2.    You may forgo your dreams, so they can pursue theirs.

It’s not a bad thing to support your significant other as they aim for their goals. What may cause issues is if you are not offered the same support.

3.    Your dreams may change in ways you never thought of:

As you grow in your relationship, you may find that you and your partner share goals and ideals. For example, you may want a strong family unit, so you can set down roots and have children.

4.    You forget your aspirations because life is too comfortable:

Let’s say you want to build an online business, but you find your evenings filled with cuddling in front of the television instead. Hard work sometimes means deciding to forgo the couch.

5.    Your partner may be jealous of your growth:

It is possible that when you decide to refocus on your aspirations, your partner may feel left out. This can lead to jealousy and possibly a rift in your relationship. It’s vital to support each other and communicate openly to ensure you remain a couple. 

Relationships and aspirations can work together when you know what you are up against. Enjoy both by keeping your focus, encouraging each other to pursue interests, and communicating openly. Soon, you will both be on top of the world as an unstoppable force.

Whether you've got to work from home indefinitely, or you've got a friend who lives miles away that you are trying to keep in touch with, technology can help you stay connected.

However, it can be difficult to use technology to stay connected if you don't know where to start. Keep reading to get some ideas to know the most efficient way to use technology to stay connected.

Video Calls

Gone are the days when a phone call is enough. These days, you need to make sure you have good WIFI to a video call when you are apart.

You don't just have to sit there and stare at each other. Make a night of it! Each of you can buy a bottle of wine and have a virtual drink or a virtual coffee if the call is in the morning.

Have Group Chats

Trying to stay in touch with the group from high school? Unfortunately, this will only get harder as you get older, but the best way to stay connected is by making a group chat.

This way, even as people are too busy to get together in person, they can still send pictures and videos of their life and talk about current events with one another. Just be prepared for the number of messages you will receive.

Maintain Your Social Media

Some people love to hate social media, but the reality is, that it's there for people to stay connected with their friends and family. Even if someone doesn't reach out regularly, at least they can check-in and see how you are doing!

While you use social media, just be sure that you don't post anything too personal like addresses, phone numbers, or other personal information!

Join Virtual Groups

Besides just staying connected with friends and family, it might be ideal to use technology to stay connected with the world and other people in the world. This is very easy to do if you join a virtual group of something you are interested in.

For example, there are virtual workout groups, virtual wine drinking groups, virtual reading clubs, virtual gaming groups, and even virtual art classes. So take a few minutes, surf the net, and stay connected with an activity you enjoy with like-minded people.

Staying connected as you get older can be difficult. Everyone seems to be so busy, whether friends or family members! Employ the above four suggestions to stay connected with the loved ones in your life using technology. You'll be surprised by how well these methods work. 

And yet so many of us live a life of self-doubt, feeling undeserving or incapable, or wishing we were walking another path.

However, living a happy life, being a happy person, is a matter of how you perceive yourself and your place in the world. You can “think yourself happy” by taking action, being honest about yourself, your patterns of thinking, and being open to your capacity to change. Self-knowledge is the key to living a happy life. And that means living your truth, not other people’s truth, or what society tells you is your truth.

Socrates famously said that the unexamined life is not worth living. An ongoing process of self-analysis and self-examination leading to greater understanding and self-knowledge is also the basis for most of the world’s religions and belief systems, for a good reason. If you don’t know who you are, you're not your true self in the world. If this is the case, you’re living a passive life, reacting to whatever comes along instead of taking control. Living unconsciously like this is living half asleep, and if you’re half asleep, you can’t be your best you.

Living an authentic life does not mean going off the grid. It does mean a daily practice of being honest about how you’re feeling and why, and reminding yourself that you are in control of how you feel. It means being clear about what your values and beliefs are – what “rules” you live your life by. Are your values yours, or have you absorbed them from other people in your life?

Do they still fit with the life you want to lead?

Five steps to living a more authentic life

1.    Be clear about how you want your life to be right now and where you want to go. Understand and live by your values and beliefs.

2.    Be aware of yourself and how you react and interact with other people, situations, events, and the world.

3.    Set and maintain conscious boundaries.

Be clear in your mind and be at peace with what you can and can’t control.

4.    Be okay with imperfection in yourself and others.

Be objective about your weaknesses so that you can improve upon them without letting them get you down. 

5.    Be kind and forgiving to yourself and others.

Living your truth means taking responsibility for your life and building deep self-knowledge that will ultimately lead to contentment and happiness. 

Whatever the case, worry happens whether we intend for it to or not. This becomes a problem, though, when worry starts to take over your life.

So, what is the goal? Is stopping worrying enough to put you on an even keel, or are you hoping for something…more?

What if, instead of worrying, you could become excited, and then use this excitement to get more done?

Let’s look at seven ways to achieve this:

Be Here Now

Worry has a way of trapping you anywhere but here. Either you’re worried about something which happened long ago, or you’re caught up in fretting about something still to come. Neither is going to get you anywhere. To stop worrying, you need to focus on the present. What interests you right now?

Realize This Gets You Nowhere Fast

Worrying stops you cold. In fact, most procrastination is caused by worrying. With this in mind, why are you wasting your time and energy worrying? Sometimes just recognizing what a waste worry is, will be enough to derail it altogether. Especially when you have better places to be.

Throw Yourself into Something Interesting

Worry needs your attention to survive. Get busy doing something engaging to your mind, and you’ll find you forget all about worrying.

Rewrite the Script

If you’re seeing everything blow up around you, maybe you should try focusing on the perceived disaster. Ask yourself how you could do things to handle the situation were it to happen. Once you have it, practice the scenario in your mind. Picture yourself handling matters.

Practice

Worried about something you need to do later? Having a dress rehearsal in your head will make things go smoother and keep worried at bay entirely.

Ask

Challenge your worry.

Dig in and get to the roots until you understand your worry intimately. Ask yourself where the negativity came from. Peel back the layers until you get down into the heart of the matter.

Try a New Path

In the end, worry can become very attached to the familiar. Challenge yourself. Find a different way to do things. Explore where this path takes you.

The main point in all of these is to enjoy the journey. This is where you find the excitement and enthusiasm, which leads to getting things done. The rest is all momentum and a lot of brand-new accomplishments just waiting to happen.

Idolatry is obsessive and unrealistic worship, devo­tion or love directed at another person, who has then been termed an idol. The obsessed person is the idolater, and invari­ably has a false mental perception of who or what the idol represents.

Idolatry is sometimes called idol worship, and the people who worship idols can be called idolaters.

The idol may be some­one who the idolater knows, such as a school friend or teacher; or, as is frequently the case with teenagers, a public figure such as a pop music star, film star or sports personality. When idolatry occurs in adults, it is often at the beginning of a new relation­ship, when individuals may be unaware of their partner's faults and may even try to avoid discovering them.

Idolaters are most commonly young women who fall obsessively in love. The idol is put on a pedestal and regarded as the only person who can bring happiness. Sufferers may try to pursue a rela­tionship by trying to contact the idol, even though the person has given no sign of interest and is not even remotely familiar with the idolater.

Create Positive Affirmations from Negative Self-Talk

After you write down those negative things, organise them into categories so that you can work on each area over time. For example, if when you are getting ready in the morning, you negatively attack your looks, you’ll want to tie that to self-esteem.

Then create positive affirmations that will raise your self-esteem.

“I’m a normal healthy weight, and my skin is clear and beautiful.” Even if you have problems, when you do this, you’ll likely make better choices during the day, not to ruin your good health and your skin.

Write Your Affirmations Down

Because positive affirmations are written in the brain’s language, they follow a precise formula.. Keep your affirmations in the present. Your brain will only ever optimally respond to positive present tense affirmations such as “I am calm.”

Hence, avoid using past or future tenses. If you see affirmations that say “I will…,” “I used to…,” or “I’m going to…,” then this is NOT an affirmation.

Only include positive words. “Don’t,” “can’t,” or “won’t” aren’t positively-inclined words, so steer clear of using them. For example, change “I won’t worry” to “I’m always calm.”

When you use negatively charged words, your brain has to put in a lot of extra effort to evoke meaning and seek out positive instruction.

Once you create the positive affirmations from your negative self-talk, you should write them down. Write your affirmations on small slips of paper and put them in a jar.

Grab one when you need it. Write them on pretty note cards and stick them where you need to see them. For example, you can put one of your affirmations right on the bathroom mirror or directly on your door, so you see it as you’re leaving.

Set Times to Using Your Affirmations

Remember, your brain is a creature of habit, always looking for instructions, and is eager to set you up for success – all you have to do is instruct it in a language it understands and keep repeating it.

Once you’ve created your affirmations, you can start using them. Use them at the same time you usually use the negative self-talk in place of that negativity. At first, it’s going to feel a little weird, but you’ll develop a habit. Right now, just do it by rote, and eventually, it’ll feel more natural.

Like any habit, affirmations take 21 to 30 days to stick to the brain. So, to change your thoughts, affirmations should be practised daily.

Say Your Affirmations, Aloud

Speak your positive affirmation confidently as if it were true. Statements that contain words like “might” and “could” aren’t nearly as powerful as statements that contain words like “am” and “do”. For example, “I could be calm in every situation” is not as solid as “I am calm.”

Your brain will respond to this, even if you secretly don’t believe it to be accurate.

When you are stating your affirmations in private, express them aloud. When you state them aloud, you hear them with your ears, and that is a different form of memory than writing them and reading them. As you listen to it, you’ll begin to believe it over time, as you should.

It’s hard to imagine being resilient without being positive. Some people can be resilient in their negativity. However, in the long run, that negative behaviour will sap the energy out of them. You cannot thrive for very long in an environment filled with negativity. You will lose resiliency in this environment.

When you project a positive outlook, others will follow along. People are attracted to this outlook and will want to make it continue. While some people will be attracted to others who are negative, on the whole, they prefer positive people. When this happens, you will be resilient by bringing others along.

When you are positive, you are more likely to look for solutions to problems. When you are negative, you are more likely to look for excuses. How can you be resilient when you are looking for excuses? Nothing will get done, which means you will hold yourself (and others) back. Plus, if you are one to look for excuses constantly, others will catch onto this and avoid you. If you do this in your job, it could eventually lead to your dismissal. After being fired from your job, there's no way you can be resilient.

Being positive doesn’t mean you should never complain. Sometimes, you need to point out weaknesses where you know they exist. However, positive people tend to offer up alternatives that make them part of the solution. Imagine if several such people offered up alternatives. Solutions would surface quickly, wouldn’t they? Contrast this to excuse-makers. They will never find solutions.

It’s believed that people with positive attitudes have a greater chance of beating life-threatening diseases as well. Your body has the best mechanisms available to fight diseases, even better than medications. If you are positive about your outlook, it will set your body to the optimal conditions that should help you battle those diseases. Even if this weren’t true, it certainly is better than being negative, which increases stress. Stress has been proven to block the disease-fighting aspects of your body.

Think back to positive and negative times in your life. When were you happier, negative or positive? It’s likely that you chose positive times as being happier. It’s also likely that you were the most productive during this time. By extension, being productive means you were resilient. It all came from that positive attitude.

Emotional overwhelm can leave you drained. It can threaten your happiness and cause problems in relationships. If you let it go on for too long, you may find that you are consumed with your emotions.

No one can function well for any period of time without addressing what is causing the emotional overwhelm. You can take charge of your emotions and set your life back on even footing when you learn how to deal with emotional overwhelm.

7 Suggestions to Handle Emotional Overwhelm

Emotions can get in the way of living your life in a way that brings you happiness. Often, work, financial struggles, and family turmoil can leave you emotionally spent and ready to throw in the towel. However, you can put a stop to emotionally overwhelm with these seven suggestions:

1.    Analyse What Is Going On: When you feel negative emotions build up, stop and consider what is happening. Try to figure out what may be causing the feelings. Are you hungry? Have you struggled to sleep well at night?

2.    Review What Is Going Well: You work hard to achieve things. Times will happen when you will overlook your needs and fail to celebrate what you are doing right. Rewrite the story in your head to include everything you are accomplishing and how far you have come.

3.    Accept Yourself: It is okay to consider what emotions are working within you at the moment. Avoid invalidating them. Acknowledge them; accept them, and move on in a healthy way.

4.    Journal: Writing down your thoughts, feelings, and moods helps you better understand what is going on in your life. It also gives you a record to which you can refer when things get harry later, and you need a reminder of how you overcame the last time this went wrong.

5.    Find a Health Outlet: You may need to regroup and refocus your emotional energy in a different direction, such as through exercise or a hobby

6.    Reduce or Eliminate Stress: Look for those things that trigger your stress and consider what you can do to reduce or eliminate it.

7.    Make Sleep a Priority: A lack of adequate sleep will make your emotions run rampant and increase your stress levels. Focus on making sleep a high priority in your life. You might need to cut out caffeine, cut out naps, and make your bedroom conducive to a good night’s rest, but it will be worth it.

Don’t let emotional overwhelm rob you of your happiness and attaining your dreams. Learn to handle your emotions and enjoy the rewards.

The unconscious aspect of trauma

For example, if you never witnessed animals in an abattoir being slaughtered, your reaction to seeing this for the first time would be extremely different from someone who regularly works there. 

I have known many individuals become vegetarians following a visit to this place. Surprisingly, they do not have open days.  

It can be difficult to judge how a person will react in any given situation; some of the most unlikely individuals in history has turned out to be heroes. Perhaps it is deep-seated compassion that exists in all of us, we just love to see the underdog come good.

I remember my first time as a medical student many years ago visiting a mortuary for the first time; all the cadavers (20 in total) laid out on plinths in a partial state of dissection with the intense aroma of Formaldehyde. 

It wasn’t until the late afternoon; one of our classmates returned to the lessons. She was so traumatised by the event that day.

She had left the autopsy early without any of us noticing. When questioned, She had no idea where she had been for the last few hours or any recollection of leaving the room in the first place.

The physiological aspect of trauma

During a traumatic event, a sensor called the Amygdala triggers your brain to activate a “fight-or-flight” survival response.

This reaction, which is all emotional, sends a message to your adrenal gland in a split second, leading to cortisol and adrenaline production to get you out of danger, which then activates a series of physiological and metabolic effects. 

Your mouth will suddenly get dry, your heart will start racing, your stomach will be upset, and you’ll feel like you are going to be sick or pass out. 

All this requires energy, to stand and fight or run away, and the body’s metabolism (i.e. raising plasma glucose) is activated.

Learn more:

Why is it we never put enough emphasis on the important things in life? Are we really that busy?

Sadly, we tell ourselves precisely that. In fact, studies have shown we’re not taking the time for friends like we used to. According to a survey taken in the 1980s, the average adult had a minimum of three friends they were close to. Thirty years later, the same study came out with some chilling news. As many as one in four people claim to have no friends at all.

Why is it we don’t enjoy adult friendships? Could it be we’ve somehow got the idea they’re really not necessary? This is absolutely not the case. In fact, below, you will find five reasons why adult friends are crucial to your life and your good health.

Friends Give Necessary Support

We’re not meant to go it alone. We need friends to act as everything from cheerleaders to a shoulder to cry on.

Friends Teach Us How to Act

How do we conduct ourselves? If you’re socially awkward, it might be because no one taught you specific social skills critical to success. Friends are where we learn those skills. It’s with friends that we practice, finding out both what’s acceptable and what’s not. What’re more, friends help us get out of the ruts we fall into and challenge us to try social situations we might not otherwise consider.

Friends Give Us a Reality Check

Who else but a friend is going to tell you when you’re lying to yourself or wandering down the wrong path entirely? This kind of tough love is what keeps us from disaster and guides us away from the pitfalls of life.

Couple Friendships Guide Our Own Relationships

Not everyone was blessed with parents who modelled good relationship skills. Having “couple friends” is where we form our impressions of how couples in romantic relationships interact. It’s from these relationships we learn how to balance things like work and romance, and how to handle the parenting component. Being able to talk to other couples about challenges unique to this kind of relationship also gives a much-needed place to learn.

Friendships are Good for Your Health

Studies have shown people who sustain healthy friendships live longer and enjoy a better quality of life. People who regularly spend time with friends are shown to adopt healthier lifestyles, experience fewer physical ailments such as heart disease, and have fewer issues with dementia as they age.

In short, adult friendships are an important part of your life and worth exploring. Now is not the time to hold back. Get out there, meet people, and discover all that life has to offer. Making time for friendships should be a priority for all adults.

It’s time you cultivated an attitude.

Look, life can be hard sometimes. The last thing you need is your Inner Critic taking the wheel, getting on your case about every last little thing you’re trying to do. Why are you listening to someone who doesn’t have your best interest at heart? No, it’s time to challenge your Inner Critic and silence their voice once and for all.

How?

Try these tried and true strategies:

Start Noticing

Inner Critics like to whisper, never to speak out loud. The last thing they want is to be noticed for their nefarious schemes. By paying attention to what’s going on in your head, you draw their lies out into the light, where they cannot stand.

Give it a Nickname

Whenever the Inner Critic speaks up, give it a silly name. Think to yourself things like “Hey, it’s Moldyvort, back again to cause trouble.” By making fun of this voice, it’s a lot harder to take seriously.

What about a Voice?

Do you hear some pretty negative things? Try saying them out loud. By giving voice to these thoughts, you’ll hear just how ridiculous they sound.

Take a Negativity Break

Tell your Inner Critic, they can only come out to play at a particular time each day. During that time, take a break and tell the Inner Critic to do their worst. Be sure to set a timer for the space allotted, so you don’t give more time to the negativity than necessary.

Sit back and let it speak its piece. The funny thing? Most of the time, you won’t even remember what it was the Critic had to say by the time your negativity break rolls around. Even if you do, when the timer goes off, remind yourself you’re done and walk away.

Question Everything

Is there any truth to what your Inner Critic is saying? Examine the statements. Feel free to argue back. Point out the flaws in the reasoning and back it up with examples of times when you’ve proven those things aren’t true.

Replace the Words

Finally, drop the negative words entirely and rewrite the script to turn each negative into a positive. For example, saying, “I’m terrible at writing reports” can become “I did a great job on the last report I wrote. I bet this one will be fine too.”

Remember, silencing an Inner Critic is going to take time and energy. This kind of voice doesn’t just shut up because you told them to go away once. No, you’re going to have to do the work, using these strategies, until you’re finally free of the nasty little voice.

Once you’ve got it, though? Your world will change enormously in some pretty great ways. After all, without your criticism to hold you back, you’re primed for success in a huge way.

There just aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything you want. We find ourselves caught up in a slew of obligations involving everything from work to taking care of our families. At the end, who has time to better themselves?

Or are there enough hours after all?

If your self-belief is dragging, the last thing you need is to put yourself on the back burner.

Why? Because you need self-belief if you’re going to succeed in your life. Thankfully, there’s help.

Keep reading to discover five brain hacks guaranteed to build your belief in yourself, without taking up a lot of your extra time.

Affirmations

You’ve probably already seen a lot about positive affirmations, mostly because they actually work! By writing out several statements to encourage yourself, and then making an honest effort to read them daily (especially out loud) you’ll find after a while, you start believing them.

How to make them work with minimal effort?

Write them on sticky notes and place them around your house where you’ll find them as you go about your daily life. Make a point of reading them when you find them.

Work Your Subconscious

The beauty of our brains is we don’t always realize how much is being processed without our awareness. Put positive reminders around that trigger feeling of confidence and contentment. Won an award?

Hang it where you can see it. That letter of commendation? Why not frame it?

Journal

We process things better when we write them down. Keep a journal and write about the things you’ve accomplished each day. Add in what inspires you, and notes toward positive growth. Re-read previous passages to remind you of how far you’ve come.

Watch the Talk

If that internal voice is what’s getting you down, it’s time to tell your inner critic to shut up and find somewhere else to live. Put a stop to negative self-talk. Instead, substitute more positive variations on what’s being said. Replace lies with truths about how much you’ve already done, and how awesome you truly are.

Meditate

You don’t have to dedicate an hour for meditation to be effective. Taking even 10 or fifteen minutes to empty your mind and relax will help you focus inward. If you have a little more time, try a guided meditation, focusing on one of your affirmations for an extra positive jolt.

None of these items has to take long to be effective. The key is to repeat these steps daily until they become a habit. Before you know it, your confidence will rise. Self-belief is ready to open the door to a more productive, happy, and successful life.

What’s behind it isn’t necessarily sexual in nature—classified as a form of paraphilia - is sexual activity outside the scope of what is currently conventional. This can include recurring sexually arousing mental imagery or behaviour that involves socially unacceptable or unusual sexual practices. 

It turns out that brutally violent male offenders often have many female love interests. No, they’re not women who were in any romantic relationships with them before they were incarcerated.

It can partly explain why so many convicted serial killers receive letters of adoration whilst in prison from a hybristophiliac or Passive Hybristophilia. They are more likely to be a woman.

Aggressive Hybristophilia 

This involves cases where the individuals attracted to the person who has committed the atrocities are sexually aroused by the acts themselves and want to join in with them.

Read more

We are bombarded with ads to buy new stuff in today's society. Our social media feeds include the latest weight loss wonder pill, new leather bag, or other items enticing you to cough up your money. Spending your money on possessions is fine when they serve a purpose. The over-accumulation of belongings leaves most people frustrated and overwhelmed with clutter.

What is this fad that hasn't seemed to fade away?

For many, they have reached the end and are ready to take a new approach through minimalism. It is a way of living intentionally with only the items you genuinely need. It is a tool that helps you find freedom from the rat race of life.

6 Hallmarks of Minimalism

There are no clear-cut rules to minimalism. Instead, you can make up what it looks like to you. Here are a few helpful markers for those seeking to live this lifestyle. They:

1.    Choose to own fewer possessions. Owning too much stuff causes distractions. You do not have to throw everything out. Instead, it is about only holding onto those items that bring you happiness and matter to you. The rest can be sold, donated, or thrown out.

2.    Choose experiences over things. Intentionally, spending time with family leads to a richer life than purchasing material items. Think about kids on Christmas morning. You pay excessive money on a popular toy for the kids to play with the box. They have it right; simple is good.

3.    Understand that minimalism is simple, but it is not easy.

It is a process of removing items from your life that no longer serve a purpose or are not needed. For some people, determining what is truly required will be challenging.

4.    Enjoy a slower pace of life.

By keeping only the essentials, minimalists don't have to work the long hours to pay all their bills. They do not have to keep up with the feverish pace that many do. Instead, they can disengage from the hysteria and take the slow lane.

5.    Comprehend that minimalism is a mindset shift.

Learn that becoming a minimalist is not only about material possessions. It is about their mind and how they can make different decisions that leave a lasting impact on their family and lives.

If you want freedom from your things and the rat race of life to live a life authentic to your values, then minimalism may be right for you.

When faced with decisions, you want to have the best information possible. Some people spend too much time trying to find as much information as they can, and they miss opportunities because of it. Information is a key component in decision-making. However, sometimes, you simply have to decide and live with the decision without any information.

You don’t want others to view you as someone who makes rash decisions. You’ll lose credibility when you do this and people won’t take you seriously. However, you must prepare yourself for certain times where being decisive is necessary. For instance, you may be registering for classes at your college and discover that a few of the courses you were hoping to take are full. You are given other choices but are unsure of how that will fit into your overall plan. Do you enrol in those alternative classes?

You may decide to go for the classes. If they are part of your curriculum, you can always rework your plan so that they fit in. Talk to your academic advisor and ask how to proceed after taking this new path. Of course, you could always drop the classes if they don’t fit well.

The point is if a decision doesn't work out, the wrong results can usually be fixed. Don’t be afraid to take the plunge. The shoe company Nike has a slogan that has worked for them for several decades now. That slogan is, 'Just Do It!'

A structured living doesn't fit well with some people. They need the excitement that comes with making spontaneous decisions. Who is to say that their way is wrong? It may not work for others, but for them, it works quite well. You may know people who are like this and are envious of them.

That isn’t the same scenario as people who don’t do much with their lives. Spontaneous decision-makers are often doing many activities. You can decide to do nothing, but you won’t get very far. Unless you are lucky enough to come from money and your parents are willing to give you that money, you will need to find something to do.

Most people will find a balance of decisions they make based on the information and spontaneous decisions. The process of decision-making becomes easier the more you do it. Therefore, when you need to make spontaneous decisions, it will not be as difficult after a while.

Regret happens. What doesn’t have to happen is you holding on to it forever. Releasing regret is a process, one that is different for every person and every situation. However, you can give various forms of releasing regret a try and learn about yourself in the process.

1.    Practice Daily Gratitude

Practising daily gratitude is a great way to consistently remind yourself of all that you have. Family, friends, a home, food to eat, maybe even a cute puppy to come home to. Whatever your gratitude is toward, reminding yourself of it is a great way to reflect on the good in your life and make the regrets seem less important in the grand scheme of life.

2.    Trust the Journey

Reminding yourself that even the adverse events in life are part of a bigger journey allows you to look at the larger picture. Yes, you regret this one mistake. But, did that one mistake lead you down a different path that had good outcomes?

Everything happens for a reason, trust that in time you will find out why that mistake or loss occurred.

3.    Learn to Release Emotions

Emotions in the grand scheme of life (once again; are you seeing the bigger picture yet?) are fleeting yet.

Learning to release your feelings when they are not serving you will aid you now and in the future. Stop beating yourself up for something that happened in the past and learn to move on with a clear mind and focus.

4.    Accept the Lesson Learned

Situations or actions we regret typically offer us a lesson—if we are open to learning it. Accept that you learned a lesson and move on with it. Living through a challenging event means nothing if you don’t continue living and implement what you learned into your future life.

5.    “What If-ing” the Past Doesn’t Change the Future

Living in the land of “what ifs” is tempting. However, “what ifs” literally mean nothing in the practice of daily life. You can spend hours or even days guessing at a different outcome, but it doesn’t matter. Those what-ifs will never directly impact your future other than to steal from it. Stop reliving it and move on.

If you are living your life being swallowed alive by your regret, start exploring ways to release it and move on. You deserve a life that is fulfilled and happy, not a life that leaves you stuck in the past and wallowing in disappointment.

What comes to mind when someone tells you to try something new?

Are you eager to jump in and try it out, or are you afraid of possible adverse outcomes?

See, most people get scared away by the thought of trying something they’ve never tried before. And that’s okay.

The next time you get the nerves about experimenting with something new, come back to your “why,” and remind yourself of these positive outcomes.

1.    You’ll Learn What You’re Really Capable of

How do you know if you don’t try? Once you start mixing it up and trying new things, you’ll unveil new things about yourself that you never knew before. You may have a hidden talent or a secret interest that can be made into something big.

2.    Humility is an Added Bonus

So you try something, and you fall on your face – the bright side is that you earn a sense of humility.

3.    Capitalize on the Accomplishments

Putting yourself out there makes it that much better when you hit the jackpot. Sure, it takes a lot of trial and error, but it’s worth it to be able to celebrate your big wins.

4.    One Down, Many to Go

Once you conquer one new thing, it feels like you can take on the world. You may start with something small like learning how to paint, and the next thing you know, you’ll be trying to learn a new instrument and master a new language.

5.    You’ll Stop Feeling Like You’re Alone

Because you’re not. Trying something new teaches you that it’s been done before many times. You’re not alone in this adventure – and you can reach out to others for support and help in your endeavour.

6.    Excuses will Subside

An excuse is an easy way out. It’s a coping mechanism, and it’s a sign of weakness. In the past, you may have said something like, “No, I’ll do that next year,” with regard to something new. But as you begin to try more new things, you’ll feel less inclined to dole out the excuses.

7.    You’ll Have More Control

It’s a dichotomy because, in some respects, you lose control. Trying something new puts you in a vulnerable place—you’re not always sure what will happen, and you’re not 100% in control of the situation. But at the same time, losing control teaches you how to have control over the things you CAN control.

8.    Learning Opportunities

Trying something new = learning something new. There’s a world of opportunities out there waiting to be discovered!

9.    You’ll be a Role Model

People are vetted off their abilities to handle life and create exciting experiences for themselves. If you’re hoping to be a role model for someone, put yourself out there and show them how it’s done!  

Restaurants are booked, subject to lockdown rules, dates are set, and people are desperately looking for new ways to express their love.

But behind the fuss, many see Valentine’s Day as simply over-hyped. For them, the day is too commercial and too stressful for genuine romance.

However, Some people are sincere about the recess, while others are just going through the motions. For somebody in a long-term relationship, a little romantic reminder may be what’s needed, but It’s one day of focus, but what happens to the other 364 days?

The Valentine’s Day hype makes it easy for us to forget that every day is an opportunity for couples to build intimacy and renew their passion. We often forget to put a little fantasy in our relationships to rediscover the oomph we used to have.

 In Mexico, the holiday celebrated on February 14th is called “El Día del Amor y la Amistad” (The Day of Love and Friendship)  

Please, remember that Valentine’s Day is a celebration of love in all of its forms—toward family, friends, and yourself in addition to romantic love. 

The more you recognise the love that already exists within and around you, the less lonely you will feel. 

Today's society looks for easy ways to make more money, have better health, and develop relationships. We are stuck in a fast-paced rut that leads many to lose their cool under inconsequential circumstances. As tempers flare, we begin to see the ramifications of an instant-gratification world.

The anger and tension people experience affect their bodies, increasing stress levels, and decreasing happiness. Even in an unhappy, stressful world, you have a choice to overcome the whirlwind threatening to engulf your life. It starts by developing the skill of patience.

Why You Should Develop Patience

Developing patience takes time…and patience. However, it is worth the journey as your body and life will reap the benefits. If you know you need to become more patient, take a moment to consider these four great reasons to kiss impatience goodbye and embrace patience instead:

1.    You Enjoy Better Mental Health: When you are patient, you tend to experience less depression and negative emotions. Practising patience gives you the tools to handle stressful or challenging situations. You will experience more hope and gratitude and not be stuck feeling like a spring under tension waiting for a release.

2.    Your Physical Health Benefits: Think of how your body reacts when you are aggravated and impatient. Your blood pressure rises, and you feel tension wracking your body. As the stress increases, it can harm the body. Patient people do not have the same reaction, which means their bodies are not reeling from stress's effects on it.

3.    You Will Attain Your Long-Term Goals: Few people want to invest the needed time and steps to reach their goals. When you develop patience, you can reach your long-term goals easier. For example, many people want to lose weight fast. Some do not necessarily keep the weight off because they do not take the time to learn new habits to override poor ones. Those that choose to be patient and understand that it requires lifestyle changes tend to keep the weight off longer.

4.    Your Relationships Will Deepen: We are social creatures, but good relationships take time and energy. Patient people learn to overlook the idiosyncrasies of others to deepen their relationship. Those with healthy relationships benefit from their mental health.

Choose to develop your patience. It primes the pump to better mental and physical health, achieving your goals, and deepening relationships. Overall, it will lead you to success in all aspects of your life. 

You may have become curious about this ancient technique that’s making a comeback in modern times. Let’s explore what you can do to learn more about meditation and, most importantly, how to give it a try. 

How To Start Meditating 

Getting started with meditation is a lot easier than you may think. There isn’t any special equipment you need to buy or classes you should be taking. While buying a book, a guided meditation audio recording or an app for your smartphone are certainly options, and you don’t even have to do that to get started. I’ll share everything you need to know to get started meditating right here in this post. 

Start by getting comfortable in a spot that’s as free of distractions as possible. You want to sit down either on a chair with your feet firmly planted on the floor or sitting cross-legged. If you sit on the floor, you’ll be more comfortable if you sit on a cushion. It’s essential that you can sit in whatever position you choose comfortably and that you’re keeping your back straight. Slumping may make you sleepy while you meditate, and bad posture may cause you to ache after a while. 

Before starting with the actual meditation, let’s get back to distractions. In the beginning, you want to cut as many of them out as possible. Choose a quiet spot where no one will interrupt you. Turn off the ringer on your phone close the blinds if you think it will help create a calm and soothing space. You won’t always have to go through all this trouble to meditate because, after a bit of practice, you’ll be able to do the little meditation exercise I’m about to share with you anytime, anywhere. But like any new skill, meditating can be a little tricky initially. It sounds simple enough, but it’s easy to get distracted. That’s why it’s essential to set yourself up for success by cutting out any distractions you can. 

One of the simplest forms of meditation is to become aware of your breath. Sit comfortably, calm your mind, and focus all your attention and conscious thought on breathing in and out. It’s more complicated than it sounds and takes a bit of practice. Still, once you get comfortable with this particular exercise, it’s a form of meditation you can do anytime, anywhere by following these steps. 

Here’s how to meditate. Sit down, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. Notice how the air flows in and out of your nose and mouth. Try to think of nothing else. This is the hard part and something that takes practice. Start meditating for a few minutes here and there and increase the time as you move along. Don’t judge yourself when your thoughts stray. Keep bringing yourself back to the sensation of the breath anytime you notice that you’re thinking of something else. 

That’s all there’s to it. Getting started with meditation is simple, but like any new skill, it takes practice. Be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Stick with it and keep practising these new meditation skills. You’ll be glad you did. 

From there, you can explore other options like guided meditations online, such as audio recordings and the likes., for example. There are also some great apps out there with guided meditations. Search for meditation in your phone’s app store will help you increase your meditation time as you go along, and they are a great starting point.

Above all, I encourage you to look into meditation and try it.

There are so many traditions and practices out there. If you keep an open mind, I’m sure you’ll find the one that’s right for you. 

Merriam-Webster defines people, pleasers, as "a person who has an emotional need to please others often at the expense of his or her own needs or desires.

People-pleasing is a state of mind where individuals convince themselves that pleasing others is much more important than their own happiness. 

While this may not sound that bad, ignoring your own needs for others can negatively impact your life - significantly. 

Most people-pleasers know how bad it can be, so how did they end up doing it anyway? 

People Pleasing Comes From an Unstable Childhood

The number one reason adults become people pleasers is that their needs weren't met as a kid. If you are raised in a home without a great parent, you may have begun people-pleasing as a matter of survival.

For example, people-pleasing is typical in an individual raised by a parent with mental illness. A child can't comprehend conditions like bipolar or depression. If the parent regularly took out their emotions on the child, the child became a people pleaser to avoid the parent's outbursts. This behaviour continues into adulthood. 

People Pleasing Comes From Trauma

Not all people-pleasing comes from people who had a rough childhood. Instead, it comes from people who spent a long-time experiencing trauma that they never recognised or learned to overcome. For example, someone in an abusive relationship might become a people pleaser to avoid their partner's wrath. 

Suppose the relationship continues for an extended period, which these relationships frequently do. In that case, people-pleasing becomes a habit that is tough to shake. This behaviour will often continue, even when the abusive relationship eventually - and thankfully - comes to an end. 

While sometimes the origins of people-pleasing are dark, that isn't always the case. 

People Pleasing is a Habit

Sometimes people-pleasing is just something you got used to. If you found out early in life that people-pleasing leads to good outcomes (making people happy, words of thanks, etc.), then, of course, you continue the behaviour. 

Some people get so used to putting others first that they never learn to put themselves first. It can be hard to break past people-pleasing habits, even when they try. 

People-Pleasing Is Easy 

Sometimes people-pleasing is just more straightforward, and it's easier to give in than stand your ground. 

But that is no way to live your life. Under the self-sacrifice, aphorism, "it is better to give than receive," is generally classed under the old metaphors and principles, to "devote our lives to the service of the greater good".

Therefore, it could be argued that societies are now based on voluntary agreements for mothers and fathers to care for children together. They are moral but not political by following a "conjugal society".  

Learn more

Affirmation  List

• My needs are as important as anyone else's
• I need nobody's approval except my own
• I will achieve my dreams
• I refuse to apologise for who I am
• I respect myself
• My needs are as important as other peoples'
• My heart is good
• I will stop trying to please everyone apart from myself
•  I can achieve whatever I set my mind to
•  I am strong. I am kind. I am important
• I forgive myself
• I do not compare myself to others
• I welcome failures as learning opportunities
• I do not judge others, and I do not judge myself

1. You Can’t Say No, Your friend has asked you for a favour for the 10th time. Your boss just asked you to stay late again. Both of your divorced parents want to see you for the holidays. A people-pleaser says yes to all of these people because they can't seem to say no to anyone. Not saying no means you are definitely a people pleaser, especially when you say yes to things that you know aren't going to work out.

2. You Constantly Wonder What Others Think, Are you always worried that your friends might hate you? Or that your significant other doesn't see you in the way you want them to see you? These anxious thoughts are a sure sign of people-pleasing behaviour. Thoughts like these cause you to please others before taking care of yourself.

3. You Feel You Never Have You Time Self-care is important, and most people-pleasers find they simply don't have the time. Mostly because they are too busy saying yes to everyone else. Take a look at your schedule. Do you have time pencilled in just for you?

If not, you're probably a people pleaser.

4. You Feel Bad Saying No Okay, so maybe you can say no, and you have before. However, did you feel bad or guilty when you said it?

You have every right to say no, and you shouldn't feel bad doing it. If you do, this is another sign that you are a people-pleaser.

5. You Constantly Apologize Are you always apologizing for everything, even stuff that may not be your fault?

This isn't healthy and means that you are probably a people-pleaser. People pleasers want people to like them no matter what, which can lead to them apologizing for things they didn't just to make sure they stay in the person's good graces.

Did you find that three or more of these things described you and how you feel?

If so, you are likely a people pleaser. If you don't want to damage your own health pleasing others, it's definitely time to accept that you are a people pleaser and begin looking for help to overcome your people-pleasing ways. 

Read more....

So, what is the goal? Is stopping worrying enough to put you on an even keel, or are you hoping for something…more? What if, instead of worrying, you could become excited, then use this excitement to get more done?

 Let’s look at seven ways to achieve this:

Be Here Now

Worry has a way of trapping you anywhere but here. Either you’re worried about something which happened long ago, or you’re caught up in fretting about something still to come. Neither is going to get you anywhere. To stop worrying, you need to focus on the present. What interests you right now?

Realize This Gets You Nowhere Fast

Worrying stops you cold. In fact, most procrastination is caused by worrying. With this in mind, why are you wasting your time and energy worrying? Sometimes just recognizing what a waste worry is, will be enough to derail it altogether. Especially when you have better places to be.

Throw Yourself into Something Interesting

Worry needs your attention to survive. Get busy doing something engaging to your mind, and you’ll find you forget all about worrying.

Rewrite the Script

If you’re seeing everything blow up around you, maybe you should try focusing on the perceived disaster. Ask yourself how you could do things to handle the situation were it to happen. Once you have it, practice the scenario in your mind. Picture yourself handling matters.

Practice

Worried about something you need to do later? Having a dress rehearsal in your head will make things go smoother and keep worried at bay entirely.

Ask

Challenge your worry. Dig in and get to the roots until you understand your worry intimately. Ask yourself where the negativity came from. Peel back the layers until you get down into the heart of the matter.

Try a New Path

In the end, worry can become very attached to the familiar. Challenge yourself. Find a different way to do things. Explore where this path takes you.

The main point in all of these is to enjoy the journey. This is where you find the excitement and enthusiasm, which leads to getting things done. The rest is all momentum and a lot of brand-new accomplishments just waiting to happen.

Well, what if that didn't have to be the case? What if we could take a few easy steps and change our Monday's mindset, so they weren't that bad? 

In reality, why settle for "not bad"? Here are nine tips that can help you frankly look forward to Mondays!

1. Keep The Same Sleep Schedule on Weekend
2. Disconnect on The Weekend
3. Create A Monday Morning Ritual
4. Prep For Monday on Friday
5. Flip Your Internal Script
6. Connect With Your Favourite People
7. Grab A Special Lunch
8. Make Fun Plans After Work
9. Do Something Nice for Someone

Learn more:

Full Article Link

Our thoughts, the things we tell ourselves, have the power to raise us to the greatest heights, and likewise, plummet us to the deepest depths.

In fact, it can be argued there is nothing so telling regarding our success as our own self-talk and whether or not the things we tell ourselves are positive or negative.

This alone is why it is so incredibly important to eradicate negative self-talk from your mind. You would think this would be an easy task.

One has only to think positively to effect the desired change, right?

Sadly, this isn’t quite the case. While an awareness of the words you use can make things better for a time, it’s truly our habits that define us.

If you are customarily talking to yourself in negative ways, then chances are you’ve fallen under the spell of habits that need to change, now, before your life can improve.

Thankfully there’s hope. You really don’t have to live like this. Let’s look at these habits and talk about ways in which you can eradicate them, thus freeing you to the life you’re meant to live.

Keep reading to learn a few easy tips for handling the awkward conversations that you have to have in your life.

1. Don’t Let the Conversation Pause

Although the conversation is already awkward, it will be more awkward if there are lots of long pauses.

Try to keep the conversation going, even if it is tough. If you don't know what to say right away and need a moment to think, then say that. It will keep the conversation going and give you a moment to think without awkwardness.

2. Add in a Joke

Depending on the tone of the awkward conversation, it may help to work in a joke. Of course, this is not appropriate for all awkward conversations, but it can help lighten the mood when it is. It can also be a humorous comment about the current situation. Just be sure the joke is appropriate.

3. Find Middle Ground

Many conversations are awkward because you don't agree with the point of view of the person you are talking to. If this is the case, try to find a middle ground before continuing the conversation.

For example, if you disagree about something, find something that you both can agree on in the topic and start there.

4. Change the Subject

Occasionally, you may accidentally find yourself in an awkward conversation, and it can help to change the subject when this happens.

After all, there is no reason to keep a conversation awkward when it doesn't have to be. Just make sure you change the subject to something less difficult to discuss.

5. End the Conversation Gracefully

Some awkward conversations don't have a conclusion. You and the other person may never see things the same way. If this is the case, it's time to end the conversation.

There are many ways to do this gracefully. Thank the person for their time, compliment their discussion style, or even just let them know that they are a great person, but now it is time for you to go.

No matter who you are, there will be a time in your life when you need to have an awkward conversation. Use the above tips to help you handle the conversation with ease when this happens.

Remember, even if there is no solution to the awkwardness, you can always discontinue the conversation.

Just ensure you do so with grace. 

Foremost tips

Sometimes you need to hold off on a task, job, or project because something more pressing comes up. When you continually push it off, you may be struggling with procrastination. 

There are many reasons people procrastinate, from perfectionism, remaining in your comfort zone, or just being overwhelmed, but defeating procrastination is possible with these nine tips.

Read the full article:

https://mentalhealthtraining.info/news/motivation/procrastination

1. Figure Out Why You Procrastinate

2. Write Out a To-Do List 

3. Prioritise What You Need to Do

4. Break Projects Down into Bite-Sized Tasks 

5. Do Away with Distractions

6. Take Care of the Hardest Job When You Are at Your Peak

7. Tie a Reward to an Accomplishment

8. Find an Accountability Partner

9. Get Started 

The truth is, your comfort zone isn't as easily defined as you might think.

Comfort Zones Look Different For Everyone

The hardest thing about defining your comfort zone is that it looks completely different from everyone else's.

While there might be something that is well within your comfort zone, like taking an international trip alone, this could be well outside the realm of someone else's comfort zone.

That same person, who stepped outside of their comfort zone to travel internationally alone, could be right at home trying new foods while you feel uncomfortable doing so.

Because comfort zones are so different, this means that only you can define your own. No one can tell you what you are and are not comfortable doing.

Only you know you.

Comfort Zones Don’t Always Get Better As they tell you to step out of your comfort zone, most people think that this will help you grow and become more comfortable with things. However, the opposite can also be true.

Sometimes, when you step too far outside your comfort zone, this can cause anxiety that you aren't ready to face just yet.

This can cause you to retreat further in your comfort zone and to associate things you once considered comfortable as uncomfortable.

Think of it this way. If you want to run a marathon and go out and run one tomorrow without any practice or work, you would likely injure yourself. A marathon is just too long to do without proper preparation.

Comfort Zones Need Exercise

Does the above make you scared to step out of your comfort zone?

It shouldn't. It should make you cautious about how you step out of your comfort zone. A comfort zone is a bit like a muscle. It would help if you worked it out. Start working towards big steps outside your comfort zone little by little.

Are you scared to travel internationally alone?

Try a weekend trip to a nearby city first. Then try a trip to a different state. Then conquer an international trip. Also, like a muscle, a comfort zone needs to be worked out regularly; otherwise, it will shrink, and you will quickly become less comfortable with things you were previously comfortable with.

Overall, no one can tell you your comfort zone besides you. Just like anything else in life, a comfort zone can change over time if you don't treat it properly. 

Do you remember a time in your life when you felt unsupported?

How did that make you feel?

Being supportive of friends, family members, and co-workers isn’t always easy, but it’s a necessary part of being human.

And if you’ve ever felt unsupported, you probably agree with this statement completely.

Everyone Needs Support

No one has a crystal ball in which they can see the future, and you never

know what life may have in store for you or the important people in your life.

Crises are much easier to face when you have people giving

you suggestions or helping you conquer the problem at hand.

Besides just needing help during difficult times, according to Ultimate Medical Academy, people who have a good support system

are much more likely to achieve their goals in life than those who don’t have a support system.

Feeling Alone Is Dangerous

When someone faces a serious or difficult situation, if they feel they are all

alone, this could lead to dark thoughts and serious conditions such as depression.

If the situation is especially trying, it is more likely that someone will feel alone and think that they don’t have anyone to go through it with, even if they do.

Thus, you must support your friends, so they know they can confide

and rely on you when they are faced with a crisis.

Your Friends Will Support You

Nobody likes someone who is selfish.

If you don’t support your friends and family, chances are they will be

less likely to support you when you are faced with a crisis.

And as mentioned above, everyone needs support.

So, make sure you show ample support to the important people in your life

so they will be there to support you when you need it.

And again, support isn’t just necessary during a crisis.

Ensure you are supporting those close to you as they meet new achievements to help them achieve their goals.

Being a supportive friend or family member is important because everyone needs support to conquer challenges and achieve their dreams.

If someone feels they aren’t getting enough support, they are more

liable to feel alone, leading to mental problems in life.

Don’t forget that the more supportive you are of those in your circle, the more

likely they will be there to support you when you may need it most.

https://mentalhealthtraining.info/mental-health/therapy

Therapy offers you the opportunity to work through challenging issues by promoting self-esteem, relationships, and outlook on life through self-awareness and self-exploration. Choosing to work with a therapist is spirited and will supply you with many options for handling your problems.

If issues from the past are not dealt with, they can linger, fester, and adversely impact your day-to-day life. Overcoming past trauma is not always easy, but it’s something that you can do when you work with a therapist. 

Your mental health is worth seeking professional services, and if you want to make the most of your therapy, employ the following nine tips.

1. Pick a Therapist that Is the Right Fit

2. Take Care of the Business Side of Your Session First

3. Embrace Homework Outside of Sessions

4. Decide How Much You Want to Share with Others

5. Work Together to Establish Goals for Progress

6. Be Honest with Your Therapist

7. Keep Your Appointments

8. Know-How to check in with Your Therapist Between Sessions

9. Be Patient with Your Progress

Becoming confident is a big step in being more influential. When you exude confidence, that will show through to others. They will have no choice but to see you as someone that has a handle on situations.

The good news is, confidence is not something you are born with. Sure, some people naturally are confident, and it is easier for them to be that way. Confidence is something that can be learned. It may take rethinking some of your beliefs, but it is possible.

The first step towards being confident is to learn as much as you can about the situations you are in. Knowledge is power. If you have the necessary knowledge, you will be in a position to answer questions that arise. This makes you authoritative in the minds of those that are not as well versed. Few can argue with you when you have that authority.

Next up is to define what you want to accomplish. Know what the desired end result should be and work back from that. Many people try to wing it and go with the flow, thinking that the results will come to them naturally. While that can work once in a while, usually, it’s more effective when you know what you want right from the start.

After you determine what you want to accomplish, you can map out a plan in the form of goals and milestones. By breaking down the process into smaller tasks, it becomes more manageable. This will easily add to your confidence levels because those smaller tasks will be easier to complete. It’s also a great feeling each time one of those milestones are met.

Nothing is set in stone and there is room for change when you make up your plan. Part of confidence is knowing when something isn’t working and having the courage to adjust. By doing this quickly, you will not lose face. In fact, when you make the decision to change, you will show that you maintain the confidence needed. No one can be right 100% of the time. The key is to try not to be wishy-washy when altering your path. Be firm on why you are changing and make the decision quickly.

Taking the steps to become more confident is entirely plausible. Confidence will naturally lead to becoming more influential. It takes commitment and time. But the rewards are simply too great to ignore.

 Everyone wants to live a happy, fulfilled life, right? It’s a no-brainer! Look around you and notice the happy people who seem to roll with the punches. No matter what life throws at them, they find contentment and meaning wherever they are.

So how do they do it? What do extremely fulfilled people do that you’re not doing? Here are some suggestions.

1.    They know themselves

People who are content and fulfilled have a good idea of their strengths and weaknesses. They don’t berate themselves for not being perfect, but they focus on what they do well and work on the things they could improve.

A good team needs people with different strengths and talents. If you’re an extrovert who loves people and organizing, you’ll excel at arranging functions, events, and conferences. If you’re more an analyst or a researcher, your strength is probably preparing reports or explaining data.

2.    They stay connected

 Humans have a natural inclination to connect. Millions of years ago, survival depended on being committed to the group. People who are content and fulfilled in their lives tend to maintain healthy social networks. They stay connected to friends and family. They prioritize spending time with the people they love and have lots of support to rely on when things get tough.

3.    They believe in themselves

People who grouse about their lives or are dissatisfied tend to have low self-esteem. They don’t expect things to go well for them, and they stay in their unhappy. Fulfilled people, on the other hand, have solid self-esteem and quiet inner confidence that life is pretty good. Confident people tend to have more friends and are more successful generally. Confidence sets up a positive circle that breeds more success, more happiness, and more confidence.

4.    They are grateful

A big difference in people between who are content and people who are Negative Nancy is that happy people are grateful. Not just for their success but for everything in their lives. No matter what else is going on, fulfilled people can always find something to be grateful for.

Gratitude is an excellent habit to cultivate. The more you focus on the good things in your life, the more good things there will be. Gratitude is energizing and positive and generates its own momentum.

5.    They have a purpose

People who are happy and fulfilled don’t just wait around for good things to happen to them. They have a purpose in life that is aligned with their values, and they just go for it. Extremely fulfilled people focus on doing what they feel they were made to do, what brings them satisfaction at the end of the day, and what makes a positive contribution to the world. 

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People doubt themselves and their abilities. When it becomes a chronic situation, it can hold people back from getting what they want. Confidence will break through the barriers caused by obstacles.

You need to recognize when an obstacle is holding you back. Sometimes, people make excuses for their situations and pretend like they don’t exist. For instance, you could be faced with a family member who has a substance abuse problem. It’s difficult to approach the person, and people ignore that a concern exists. They just keep pretending as if the person does not have difficulty, with the hope that the situation will resolve itself.

However, the person may be crying out for help and is looking for someone who has the courage to stand up to their addiction. If you are in that position, you may want to find ways to find that strength. The addict may resist you and may do so for some time. But, if they know you care, and you keep at it to confront the situation, they do hear it deep down, especially if they really are looking to get help. You do have to be aware if they don’t want help, your efforts will not amount to much, unfortunately.

Self-doubt can also cripple you when others don’t have confidence in you. For instance, if your manager has reasons to doubt your abilities, he is constantly going to be harping on you about your work. This may cause you to doubt yourself and the situation will continue in a nasty loop. In such cases, you need to find out why he feels this way and try to work with him to help figure out what you can do to alleviate the situation. Just having this meeting can show your manager you have confidence, which could be the catalyst to turn around the situation.

Confidence is going to be your greatest ally when trying to overcome self-doubt. This isn’t easy for everyone to come to grips with, and it does take courage. But, once you gain the confidence, you will find there is no stopping you. Dealing with most obstacles will become easier for you, which will lead to you succeeding more often. Many people find that after they get past a certain situation, they wondered why it took them as long as it did. It doesn’t matter, though. As long as you eventually gain that confidence, you can make happen whatever you need to.

Being emotionally healthy means understanding and regulating your own emotions, while also recognising and empathising with the feelings of others. You can engage in many habits regularly, some every day and some now and then, that can help you maintain your mental and emotional health. Here are our favourites. 

Building Your Emotional Health

Be More Mindful

Becoming more mindful benefits your emotional health in many ways. First, it helps you become more aware of your feelings, which means you can better identify them and their possible source or trigger. Being more mindful also keeps you focused more on the present, eliminating dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Engaging in mindful meditation or mindfulness practices can help you control your emotions and improve your emotional well-being. 

Rethink failure

When you experience failure, it can distort how you think about yourself and your future goals. But, when you learn to think of failure differently, as a learning opportunity instead of a setback, you can learn a great deal and stop allowing it to control your emotions.

Failure is feedback. It tells you where you need to improve to succeed next time. Changing your thinking about this critical learning experience can improve your emotional health during times of struggle. 

3. Keep a Journal

Journaling is an excellent way to record your thoughts, focus on your gratitude, and release emotions rather than keep them bottled up. When you write about your feelings, it improves your mental health and allows you to reflect later on things to help you see your progress or identify unhealthy patterns that are holding you back. Journaling can help reduce anxiety, too. Get into a daily habit of journaling to enjoy better emotional health. 

4. Eat a Healthy Diet

Most people do not think how they eat influences how they feel, but there is a strong connection. When you eat healthy foods, you are more likely to feel energetic and alert. 

Eating healthy foods improves your overall health, too, which adds to your mental and emotional health. Those who eat a diet high in sugar, fats, and processed foods are more likely to be overweight, suffer from depression, or experience other problems with their wellness. 

5. Get the Sleep You Need

Your body needs sleep, and so does your mind. When you get consistent, quality rest, your health will improve, your mind will be more precise, and you will be better able to deal with stress and process your emotions. 

Start by establishing a bedtime routine that ensures you go to bed at the same time every night. Ban screens from your hands for at least one hour before you go to sleep, and focus on relaxing thoughts as soon as you lay down to rest. Restful sleep improves your outlook and ability to handle whatever life throws your way. 

6. Look for Ways to Learn from Loss

When you experience emotionally stressful events, such as a death, the end of a relationship, or some trauma, it can be helpful to look for meaning or purpose to these experiences. This will take time, but it can be beneficial in the long term for moving on from emotionally traumatising circumstances. 

Suggesting many come in the form of a new appreciation for certain things or people, finding strength or talents you did not know you had before or connecting you with people you have come to love. 

7. Get Feedback from Others

When it comes to your emotional health, you are not always the most impartial judge of how well you are at the moment. Asking for feedback from those whom you trust can help identify areas where you could improve or grow. 

Learn more........

Did you know that your body language can often display your anger before you do so verbally?

While you may know this, it is a fact that is regularly overlooked by many, which is why it is essential to understand what non-verbal communication is and how it can affect your relationships. 

How many times have you stopped speaking to someone because they ticked you off?

Lots probably, this is a classic sign of non-verbal communication.

Other types of non-verbal communication include: 

• The amount of eye contact you make with someone
• Your gestures
• How you sit or stand
• How close you position yourself to someone
• How loud you speak

Have you ever been accused of sending mixed signals to someone?

This is when what you say and your actions do not match.

So the person on the other end is perplexed and are unsure of how you feel. This can also lead to people not trusting you, as you never mean what you say. 

If you tend to be angrier, you may often make sharp gestures, talk loudly, and prefer to sit alone.

If you are in a relationship, this will only send negative vibes to the other person. 

It would be best if you learned how to reduce your non-verbal communication by improving your actions first. This can be done by learning to speak in a softer tone of voice, sitting closer to your partner, and making eye contact.

Learn to control your gestures by not flinging your arms around or talking with your hands. Many people are guilty of this without even realising it. 

You may want to practise in front of a mirror. Then you can see if you tend to shift from leg to leg. Or if you move your arms around like crazy.

Maybe you always look down at the ground when speaking. 

These are all items that can be improved on with a bit of practice. Once you have this under control, you will not come across as an angry person all the time.

You may find that you even feel less angry yourself. Amazingly, you can feel angry just because you know people perceive you in this way! 

Keep in mind that showing your anger is not always done with words but by your body language. Improving your body language will ultimately help you feel less likely to speak out in wrath unnecessarily. 

Learn more..........

You've likely been told that getting up earlier is good for you, and it is! Getting up earlier doesn't only help you be more productive, but it can also be healthier.

If this sounds a little crazy to you, don't worry, as you aren't alone, keep reading to learn more about all the awesome health benefits of getting up earlier.

Healthier Eating Habits

It's time to face the facts. When you are rushing out the door in the morning, you don't have time to start your day right by eating a healthy breakfast.

According to Sleep Advisor, what you eat first thing in the morning can affect your food choices all day. By getting up earlier and starting the morning with a healthy breakfast, you can improve your eating habits all day long!

Better Mental Health

Getting up early is a tall order when struggling with stress, anxiety, and other mental health issues. But the truth is, getting up early helps you develop a routine, and having a routine is much better for mental health than rolling out of bed right before your alarm clock. Although it will be difficult for you to start getting out of bed early, you will soon notice your mental health benefits.

Not to mention that you can add things like meditation to your schedule—and this can help lower your stress and improve your relationship with your mind!

Time to Exercise

Many people want to exercise…if only they had the time!

Well, news flash, when you start getting up early in the morning, you will have plenty of time to exercise before you start work. When you exercise first thing in the morning, this will boost energy and adrenaline that can keep you going all day long! So don't be afraid to plan a morning run, weight lifting session, or even join an early morning yoga class.

Better Sleep Quality

Do you feel like you never sleep well? Waking up early, at the same time every day, can help with this. Your body regulates your sleep better when you have a specific sleep routine. So even though you are getting up earlier, you will find that when you sleep, you are sleeping more deeply and feeling more rested than when you were sleeping in before.

Getting up early every day is no easy task, but it is a great benefit to your health. It helps in all of the above ways, improving both your physical and mental health. So if you haven't decided yet, it is time to consider setting yourself a schedule that includes getting up early every day. 

Gratitude is a positive emotion that goes a long way in contributing to happiness. The credit entails more than feeling thankful for an act of kindness or condition because it consists of a deeper appreciation for someone or something. It affirms the graciousness of the giver. When we focus more on the many blessings in our lives, we are more satisfied, cheerful and generous. In contrast, the feeling goes both ways. 

The giver derives immense joy from the act, and the receiver appreciates the kindness.  

We may not realise that gratitude is a choice and that it doesn’t come easily to many of us in this fast-paced world. It is not unusual for daily blessings to go unnoticed. We often overlook the little acts of goodness we experience every day. Small acts of kindness shown daily culminate into long joyful life. Whether receiving or giving gratitude, scientific studies prove that the result is enormous happiness.

Better Health

Gratitude increases optimism, and enthusiasm has been proven to boost the immune system. According to a study by Harvard Medical school, optimistic people live happier, healthier, longer lives. 

A Grateful Heart

 A grateful heart begins by reflecting and contemplating on all the beautiful things around you. It has to do with a state of being and has to be cultivated by self-reflection. It comes by considering how life has supported you. Things as simple as listening to the birds sing or enjoying the taste of a homegrown tomato soup on a cold Winters night can be cause for celebration when you focus on having a grateful heart.

New Relationships  

Saying thank you may constitute good manners, but showing appreciation may help you create new friendships, as well as live a happier life. A 2014 study found that awareness for kindness more often than not makes them seek a deeper relationship with you. It doesn’t matter how small the kindness. Simply acknowledging little deeds leads to new relationship moments, and of course, more joy. 

Less Depression

Counting your blessings goes a long way in loving yourself without undue judgment. According to a study, a one-time act of thoughtful appreciation produced a 10% increase in happiness and 35% reduction in depression. 

Business Health

As an entrepreneur or a team player, gratefulness is non-negotiable. Everyone loves to be appreciated. So think of the world of virtue it would do your business if you showed more gratitude in your life. Send a thank you email or card. Say thanks when someone goes out of their way to make your life and patronage easier. Showing gratitude to workers, clients and investors makes you happier and will give your business the needed lift because everyone you deal with will feel valued.  

Cultivating and nurturing an attitude of gratitude goes a long way in helping you achieve happiness, since there is virtually no downside to this simple act. Though it may seem tasking at first, it becomes easy with persistence. 

But there’s no need to stop there! 

 There are many ways to add the practice of gratitude into your life so that you stay focused on appreciating all the amazing things you have already done in your life. Here are three simple ways to add more feelings of gratitude to your world, starting now.

1. Compliment a stranger—how many times have you admired someone’s haircut or blouse but not complimented them on it.

•  Start today!

Identify What Causes Your Anxiety

Do you suffer from low self-esteem? Were your parents distant and aloof with you as you were growing up?

Do you have a history of abusive relationships? Understanding what drives your anxiety gives you the upper hand in overcoming it.

Communicate Your Feelings Honestly

Sharing your fears and anxieties enables you and your partner to work together in your relationship. It also helps them see things from your perspective. For example, they may better understand why you get upset when they do not respond to a text for numerous hours.

Maintain Control Over Your Emotions

Reacting impulsively when your anxiety and insecurity levels increase places additional strain on your partner. It is better to resist the urge to make sure everything is okay, and instead, practise deep breathing, take a walk or call a friend for a brief chat. 

 Enjoy Today and Leave Tomorrow Alone

Many worries come from focusing on worst-case scenarios that have a low probability of happening—concentrating on being in the moment and enjoying your partner or family member now. Consider building fond memories and strengthening your relationship. 

Remain Independent

It is easy to lose yourself as you build a relationship. Each party may want to compromise to show love. Your uniqueness brought you together. While there will always be some compromise for successful relationships, you should also encourage each other to maintain some independence and autonomy. 

Avoid Letting Anxious Thoughts Write Your Story

Anxious thoughts may give rise to other emotions, such as anger, sadness, or despair. Emotions have a way of tainting reality, while facts share a different story. Try to avoid giving in to negative self-talk. Instead, work on replacing the narrative with positive self-talk. For instance, reframe “I am lousy at relationships” with “I am good at building strong relationships because I don’t give up.”

Focus on Gratitude

One way to combat worry and anxiousness is to be grateful. You are refocusing your mind on the people in your life that support you, increase positivity in your life. Telling them how thankful you are for their love and support can also increase your emotional connection.  

Do Not Seek Validation

Anxious thoughts lead to questions of worth and the need to feel validated all the time. Most of the time, your partner will not be available to give you the validation you seek at a moment’s notice. Also, requiring this constant validation can do more harm by creating a co-dependency. It is better to focus on other ways of handling your anxieties.

Utilise Your Therapy Sessions

Therapy sessions offer you the opportunity to work through your anxious thoughts. Your therapist will provide options for addressing your concerns, gaining clarity, and helping you develop strategies to manage your anxiety.

Consider using the following three fast activities steps.

Learn more about your anxiety and how it affects your life. Education empowers you to handle the rough patches and come out stronger on the other end.

Find ways to maintain your independence. You might schedule lunch with a friend every couple of weeks or keep up on a hobby you love. 

Schedule a counselling session with your therapist. You will keep perspective on your anxiety issues while alleviating the pressure on your partner.

Have you discovered that one of your relationships with a friend is toxic? Are you worried now that you will have to leave them behind or risk suffering the harm that comes with a toxic relationship? Well, the good news is, there are some things you might be able to try to fix a toxic friendship.

Start By Using Silence

In a toxic friendship, it is common that your friend probably puts you down or says things that make you feel bad about yourself. When a friend is toxic, it can be difficult to argue or debate because this fuels their fire. Instead, when they say something that upsets you, respond with silence. This silence will make a bigger impact than anything you can say.

If you have tried responding with silence, and your friend hasn't changed their ways, then there is a possibility that they are just a toxic person, and nothing may fix the friendship.

Try Setting Boundaries

Another thing you can do is try setting boundaries with your toxic friend. Let them know how you feel when they do certain things that are causing your relationship to be toxic. They should agree to your boundaries if they want to fix the friendship. If they don't agree to your boundaries or continue to violate them anyway, this is a sign that you can't fix this toxic friendship. 

For example, if your friend is always late, let them know that this upsets you and is no longer acceptable. If they continue to be late after that, then you know that your friendship isn't very valuable to them. 

You Can Take a Break

Sometimes, all a toxic friendship needs is a break. Maybe you are spending too much time together, or you both require time to work on yourselves. Remember, you could also be contributing to the toxic relationship without even realizing it. Set a time frame where you won't talk to or spend time with the toxic friend. If they ask, just let them know that you require a break. Take as long as you need. 

If even after the break, your friendship still has toxic attributes, then it may be time to throw in the towel and agree to leave the toxic relationship behind. It can be difficult, but not all toxic relationships are repairable. 

Overall, it is possible to fix a toxic friendship as long as both of you are willing to resolve the issues that make the relationship toxic. However, if you try to silence, set boundaries, and take a break, but your friend still seems toxic, it may be time to accept the fact and resolve to make some new friends. 

Sometimes it can be hard to know if you are involved in a toxic relationship or not. If that is the case, then it's time to look for the following five signs because if you see them in your relationship, then it might be toxic.

1. Social Isolation

A partner or a friend that criticizes your other friends or family might be doing so to isolate you from them. They do this because they want more attention from you or don't want to share you with other people in your life that might be important. It also helps them to be able to control you better because it will be more difficult for you to leave when they are your only support system. 

2. They Try to Change You

Whether it's a friend or a partner, they should be with you because they like being with you. They shouldn't try to change you or talk down to the things that make you unique. A healthy relationship will always be one of support and encouragement, while an unhealthy one will tell you everything you are doing wrong. 

3. There is Jealousy

Whenever a relationship has a lot of jealousy, it is never a healthy thing. If you or your partner are jealous of the time you spend with other people or jealous of things the other gets to do, then this is not a good sign. The relationship is likely toxic because neither of you feels confident just being yourself. 

4. The Relationship is all About What Makes Them, Happy

The thing about toxic relationships is, they are usually one-sided. One person in the relationship gets everything they want, while the other feels ignored or unimportant. The problem is that the person's ego is so big that they won't see that they are ignoring the things that make you happy. 

5. The Relationship Means Everything to You

When you are in a healthy relationship, you will maintain outside friendships and have time with family. In a toxic relationship, the partner will be your everything. This is by design because it makes it easier for them to control you and harder for you to leave. It also makes it easier to get their way. This is the number one sign that a relationship is toxic.

Overall, if you see one or more of these signs in your current relationship, then it could be toxic. Since toxic relationships rarely get better on their own, it is probably better for you to begin to look for help to leave the relationship. 

Think of it this way. Perhaps you haven’t yet found your purpose because you have resisted change. That is a common affliction with many people. They simply refuse to accept that something different is happening in their lives.

The good news is people adapt with relative ease. After a while, you’ll have no choice but to accept most of the changes that happen in your life. People close to you will move on (one way or another). You will go through stages of life. In the end, you will cherish the memories that you have.

There are unintended consequences in most changes that occur for you. For instance, your current boss may leave the company, and a new one is going to replace them. You enjoyed working for the old boss and are dreading the new one. He or she could be someone you don't like. Then again, the situation could now be beneficial to you. Perhaps you and the new boss think along similar lines, more so than your old boss.

You will need to deal with changes in your personal life, too. Your kids are going to move out of your house eventually. You may have to one day take care of your parents, and so on. When you are young and first starting out on your own, you don’t think of these situations.

The most significant benefit of any change is that it may be just what is needed to find your purpose. If you are used to the same routine, and it doesn’t seem right for you, changes may give you the boost and desire to find something that is right for you.

You should try to expose yourself to change more often. Some changes you cannot plan. However, there are many that you can. For instance, you can try to take an opposing point of view that you would never dare to in the past. If you favour a political party, speak with people from the opposite party. Try to keep an open mind when doing this. Ask them how they chose that point of view.

By exposing yourself to change, you will become better at accepting it. When this happens, you may be closer to discovering who you are and what is your purpose.

Overthinking things can be very hard on a person, keeping you from taking action. This can lead to poor work performance. You probably already know how much overthinking can stall you out and keep you from a happier and more productive life. What you might not realize is just how damaging overthinking is to your mental health.

Don’t believe it?

Check out these symptoms of overthinking gone wrong:

You’re Believing the Lies

When you overthink, it’s relatively typical to put a particular ‘spin’ on every conversation or interaction pertaining to what you’re obsessing about. For example, if you’ve been thinking your significant other is mad at you because of how they sounded on the phone when you talked to them last, you start seeing so-called anger in every interaction you track back in your mind.

Eventually, you start convincing yourself the lies are true, and nothing can tell you otherwise.

You’re Worrying More

Nothing shoves you hard into the world of anxiety and even panic attacks like overthinking something you feel is threatening somehow, either to your peace of mind or even physical safety. These kinds of stresses become damaging when you become convinced the world really is a dangerous and scary place, without allowing room for opposing thoughts.

You have Trouble Concentrating

Overthinking doesn’t leave a lot of room in your brain for anything else. In fact, studies have shown that people who spend time overthinking perform poorly on other tasks requiring thought. This can even be seen on MRIs, indicating actual brain slow-down in all areas except the one you’re obsessing in.

The solution?

Deal with the problem you’re thinking about and move on quickly to the next thing.

You Lack Mental Energy

When overthinking has run rampant for a while, it uses up your energy resources. You find you can’t make another decision or have the energy to think about another thing.

Everything Seems Like It’s Moving Too Fast

Have you ever felt jittery, like you can’t keep up with your thoughts? This feeling can create physical symptoms such as increased brain waves, palpitations, and rapid breathing. Overthinking gets you so spun up you feel like you’re coming out of your skin.

Remember: If you’re wondering if you’re on a dangerous path with your thoughts, you might want to ask someone you trust if you’re exhibiting any of these symptoms. We don’t always see ourselves clearly, especially when our thoughts are already running in circles.

It’s not easy to deal with overthinking. You’re going to have to take time to learn how to redirect your thoughts. The key is to embrace the positive things in your life and not get caught in the negative. Only when you do, will you be able to break the trap of overthinking.

Sometimes the cause of your anger can be staring you right in the face. As much as you hate to admit it, you are not happy with your current state of affairs, and it is time to make changes.

Living with huge amounts of anger is not healthy and can lead to a variety of mental and physical issues. This can include stress, heart attacks, anxiety and depression. Which, of course, can affect all members of your family too.

Are you and your spouse having issues? This is often a root cause of anger in couples. If you find that you tend to fight or argue at night when discussing almost any issue, then try moving your discussion times to the morning.

If problems are just not getting resolved, then it may be time to face the fact that your relationship just isn’t working anymore. Maybe you need a change of environment or it could be time to put an end to the relationship. Living in a bad relationship is not healthy for any of the parties involved.

Your anger may stem from having a huge mortgage. It may be better to think about moving and downsizing to a smaller home. Or moving to a different location where housing prices are cheaper.

You may hate the fact that some things your children are doing are making you boil! For example, their messy rooms may drive you mad every time you walk by them. Instead of letting it get to you, try closing the door, so you don’t see the mess. You don’t really want to explode on your kids, do you?

Another lifestyle issue that can increase your anger level is that of job-related stress. You work all day and then know you have to come home to a busy house at night. The minute you walk through the front door, your kids bombard you with requests and then there is a dinner waiting to be cooked.

Try this solution, tell your kids that the first 10 minutes when you come home is yours. You are not to be bothered unless it is for a total emergency. This 10 minute allows you to get your thoughts in order, make a tea and just regroup after the stresses of work.

Take a look at your lifestyle and see if you can identify what is triggering your anger. Then look for ways to simplify it, can you get help with making dinner or is it time to sell your home and move to a new location?

It’s almost like we no longer embrace a sense of community and are desensitised by those in more need. 

The interpretation of compassion is literally “a suffering with another.”

Maybe we lack compassion? The problem is, compassion is a powerful emotion, and it has many benefits. 

For example, you, Will, Be Happier:  Showing compassion to others isn’t purely altruistic. When you help someone else, it boosts your pleasure. A study from Harvard in 2008 showed that donating money can make you happier than using it on yourself. 

Makes You More Attractive: Positive personality traits like kindness and compassion have been shown to increase people’s perceptions of attractiveness. People rated headshots more attractive when they were attached to qualities like compassion. 

Improves Your Relationships: Being compassionate is a key to reliable relationships. Whether romantic or not, people will be more comfortable and receptive to you if you show compassion towards them and others. 

Uplifts Your Community: Compassion isn’t just powerful in your direct relationships. It can help uplift the world around you. Compassionate acts have a way of spreading like wildfire. James Fowler examined this phenomenon in a study that showed acts of kindness spread just as quickly as bad. 

Improves Your Mental Well-Being:  Compassion isn’t just about other people. We must practice self-compassion as well. Often, we find it easier to be compassionate towards others than towards ourselves. Studies have shown that self-compassion is indisputably linked to an individual’s well-being. 

Boosts Your Self-Esteem: Compassionate behaviour such as donating, volunteering, and helping people in other ways has increased academic aspirations and self-esteem among teenagers. 

Increases Health and Longevity: Compassion doesn’t just boost teenagers’ self-esteem. It has also been linked to improved fatality rates among older volunteers—desirable Personal behaviours like volunteering address more senior peoples individual and societal needs. 

Helps You Resolve Conflicts: Life is full of struggles. No matter how much you try to avoid conflict, it is bound to pop up in your life.

Compassion can help you address this conflict more effectively. Take some time to listen to the podcast on empathy because you will find it much easier to put yourself in someone else’s shoes when you can show mercy. 

You Become Calmer: When you strive to be more compassionate, you will usually find them more tolerant and get less annoyed. You will find it easier to forgive minor transgressions, and more concerns will roll off your back.

FURTHER READINGS

https://mentalhealthtraining.info/mental-health/empathy

2.   Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself: https://www.amazon.com/Self-Compassion-Proven-Power-Being-Yourself/dp/0061733520/

3.   Radical Compassion: https://www.amazon.com/Radical-Compassion-Learning-Yourself-Practice/dp/0525522832/

4.   Training in Compassion: https://www.amazon.com/Training-Compassion-Teachings-Practice-Lojong/dp/1611800404/

5.   Awakening Compassion at Work: https://www.amazon.com/Awakening-Compassion-Work-Elevates-Organizations/dp/1626564450/

6.   Mindful Compassion: https://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Compassion-Science-Understand-Emotions/dp/1626250618/

There will be times when you feel like everything is crashing down around you, and your only choice is to keep moving forward.

What if the times are so tough, you are struggling to trudge on, though? In that case, keep these nine tips in mind.

1.   Pain Is a Part of Life

The first step is to accept that pain is part of life. It might not be easy to hear, but it is the truth. The silver lining is that pain helps us grow and evolve. It's our response to pain that builds our character.

2.   Acknowledge Your Feelings and Emotions

Go ahead and "feel your feels." There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that you are upset. Cry if you need to. Get angry if you want. Scream at the world. It would be best if you didn't cast your feelings and emotions away.

3.   Self-Care Isn't a Luxury

When dealing with a tough situation in life, it can be easy to give up self-care. This is one of the worst things you can do. If you can bring yourself to do anything, then taking care of your physical and mental needs is the priority.

4.   Try Not to Disappear

When you struggle to deal with everything life throws at you, it's easy to withdraw into your bubble.

There is nothing wrong with seeking a bit of solitude, but don't disappear into it. Take the time you need for yourself, but don't forget you have people in your life who love and support you.

5.   Keep Your Passions Close

If you are struggling through something serious, the last things you are thinking about are your hobbies or passions. However, focusing on your passions is one of the best ways to weather tough times.

6.   Take Action to Take Back Control

When life hits you full-on in the face with obstacles, it can feel like you have no control. You are simply along for the turbulent ride. To combat this feeling, try to take action. Instead of just letting life happen, take back control. A small, simple step is all you need to get started.

7.   Look For the Lesson

Sometimes the only thing we take from tough times is the bruises. It's important to look for a lesson, though. What have your struggles taught you about the world, yourself, or the people you love?

8.   Remember What You Have

No matter how bad things seem to be, you likely have some positives in your life. Use these positives as your life preserver. Keep the things or people that you love too close to your heart.

9.   Ask For Support

If you feel overwhelmed by life, reach out and ask for help. You can start with a trusted loved one, but reach out to a professional if you don't feel comfortable with that. They are there to help.

Positive thinking can add so much to your life – and now we know that positive thinking can add years to your life. When you think positively, you get rid of stress and tend to live a healthier life and make better choices. If you’re naturally a negative thinker, there are ways you can change that thinking and get on the path to a life-changing way of thinking.

If you really want to begin to think positively and change your life for the better, look at the following ways you can incorporate into your own lifestyle:

1.   Be responsible for your thoughts. No one can tell you what to think or control how you react to your thinking. When you begin to take responsibility for your thoughts, you’ll face the reality of what they’re doing to or for you and be more able to change those negative thoughts.

2.   Plan to think positively. So many of our thoughts come from the subconscious mind. When you plan to think positively, you won’t be as apt to take what you’re thinking as reality. Instead, you have the time and opportunity to think it over and come to a conclusion that reflects the reality of the situation.

3.   Avoid negative people. Negative people can ruin your best-laid plans to think positively. They can feed the fire of self-doubt and anxiety. It can sometimes be classified as a crowd-mentality, so don’t fall prey to it. Think for yourself.

4.   Write down your thoughts. It’s helpful if you can see at the end of the day what your thoughts have been. For a while, take the time to write them down. You’ll see what went wrong with your thoughts and be able to improve them.

5.   Consider the repercussions. For example, if you have a deadline for an assignment, and it becomes clear that you’re not going to meet it, consider what might happen. If you finish it on time, it won’t be as good as you wanted. If you take more time, it may cause other problems. Also, consider solutions. For example, you could ask for an extension to the deadline.

6.   Minimize catastrophic thinking. Rather than thinking the worst about a situation, try to minimize it and lower your anxiety level by being practical about it. If you’re susceptible to those thoughts, avoid situations (such as television news) that might cause you anxious thinking.

7.   Live for the moment. When you spend too much time trying to guess or analyse the future, you’ll convince yourself of failure – especially if you’ve failed in the past. If you think you’ll fail, you probably will.

Accept the reality that you can control your thoughts. You’ll become more empowered to face stressful situations in your life and to change the way you think. It will become easier to maintain a positive attitude the more you practice thinking positively.

Everyone falls prey to negative thoughts sometimes. It’s like watching a film that begins with clear skies and happiness and seeing it turn into dark clouds and horror. The bad thing is that there’s no eerie music to alert us when that turn takes place in our minds from positive to negative. We can only tune into our thoughts once in a while to see how we’re doing.

When you catch yourself thinking negatively there are a few things you can do – actually practice – that can help you overcome the negativity and get yourself into that “happy ending.”

1.   Adjust the tone of your voice, both inner and outer. When you find that you're speaking or thinking tone is harsh and negative, change it to a lighter and more positive tone.

2.   Meditation. Finding some time for yourself to meditate or just relax and restore your energy levels can do wonders for your outlook. When you combine some yoga stretches or deep breathing, you can make bigger leaps.

3.   Smile. The best way to diffuse a negative situation is to smile – really smile, with your eyes and your entire face and demeanour. It can lift a mood almost instantaneously and help to relieve stress, too (and it takes fewer facial muscles to smile than to frown).

4.   Help someone else. Becoming a benefactor to someone can fill your heart and mind with happiness. And, how can you think and project negative thoughts when you’re so happy?

5.   Keep a gratitude journal. Those who have had to overcome great obstacles in their lives say they kept and still do keep a gratitude journal and wrote a few things in it every day that they were grateful for. It helped to get them through bad times.

6.   Choose positive people to be around. You may have to work with negative people, and you may have some in your own family, but your friends that you choose can be positive ones who help you put things into perspective when you’re thinking negatively.

Do whatever works for you to lift your spirits and get you out of negative self-talk. Some people exercise. That gets the endorphins flowing and keeps you from becoming depressed.

Dancing and singing are also proven mood lifters. You don’t have to be good enough for “American Idol” or “Dancing with the Stars.” Just dance or sing unfiltered and see how the stress can melt away.

You are in charge of the choices you make in life, and you can either choose to be a negative or a positive person to go through life.

Rejection hurts. That's a fact that's been proven scientifically as well as by our individual experiences. It negatively impacts our well-being and inflicts emotional pain. However, why does rejection hurt so much? Researchers have pondered these same questions, and we have our answers.

Rejection played an essential purpose in our evolution. 

In our past, when we were all hunters and gatherers, being rejected by our village was truly a death sentence. This is because no one could survive alone for long. Psychologists believe that our brains developed a warning system to alert us when we risk being ostracized. Getting our attention was so important that this warning system had to be as painful as possible so we could correct our behaviors and be allowed to remain in the tribe.

We relive and experience social rejection just as we experience physical pain. 

Researchers at UCLA noticed that physical pain and social pain (the pain of being rejected) are felt in the same parts of our brains. This means that our brains cannot differentiate between physical pains ( say, a broken arm) and the pain of being rejected.

This is the reason why a break-up can leave you feeling broken, just like with most physical injuries. Our brains prioritize the pain of rejection because being ostracized from the "tribe" was akin to a death sentence.

Being rejected destabilizes our "desire to belong." 

Humans are social animals, and we fundamentally need to belong to a tribe. Rejection destabilizes that need, and this adds to the pain we feel. Research has proven that being in a group or reconnecting with people that love and value us soothes physical pains and makes us feel happy.

It unleashes our insecurities.

Most times, the pains' rejection leads to are much more than that of being rejected. We often take rejection to mean we're unlovable, unworthy, or undeserving. Rejection awakens all our doubts and insecurities about how we assume we are viewed by others, especially the person who rejected us.

So, while being rejected alone can be especially painful, these self-doubts and uncertainty about the reason we were rejected in the first place can put these insecurities in our minds. These might lead to self-loathing, low self-esteem, and other really serious psychological concerns. This is especially true with emotional rejections, where most people might consider having a certain body shape or attribute as the reason for being rejected.

This leaves people feeling as if they aren't worthy of being accepted rather than accepting that the person might have rejected them for an entirely different reason. While the rejection itself would hurt, these self-doubts and suspicions will leave you feeling even more pain. 

Have you ever had unwavering self-belief in your decisions or actions Probably when our children become by this kind of confidence naturally, it's what makes us brave enough to think we can do absolutely anything? 

Unfortunately, as we grow older, we tend to lose self-belief by adulthood. We might not even realize our actions are driving our self-belief down. The sad thing is we need it. Confidence is what makes us try new things and grow as individuals. It's also what motivates teaches and helps us enjoy life. But more than this unwavering self-belief is what we need. Whenever we make decisions or jump to the next action. If we're looking for success to be inevitable. So why do we lose our self-belief and how can we get it back You're listening to voices from the past parents, teachers and other people of authority who are meant to be trusted at the same time.

They're human and sometimes say, or do the wrong thing. If we were given negative messages, when we were young, it could be very hard to get past those damaging labels. As an adult, it will bar you from having a self-belief. You can trust the fix, start recognizing errors in what was said and working through the trauma of what happened before. Realize people don't always know everything and remind yourself, these messages were wrong. Write affirmations or change your negative. 

Self talk to a competing statement that builds up and doesn't tear down. You're listening to the wrong voices today. Unfortunately not every negative individual is safely relegated to the past. Sometimes were shot down by the friendly fire. Our well-meaning friends can sometimes be discouraging or worse, quick to point out our flaws or other perceived shortcomings, the fix, sorry, but you're going to have to realize people like this.

Aren't your friends. And they're certainly not helping try losing the toxic people in your life or at least limiting your exposure to them. Or if you do want to salvage the friendship, grab some courage and try confronting them about how you feel when they 

Limited thinking can be a burden for rapid success, whereas positive thinking is a blessing. But, here are several ways that we self-sabotage our success. If you aren’t sure what limited thinking is all about? Here are nine classic examples, and if you continue to engage in these reasoning patterns, you must first address them or suffer the consequences. 

All or Nothing

This limited thinking pattern hinders your ability to see any distinction. Your focus is either a massive success or a humble failure. Routinely thinking like this holds us back by not allowing us to see progress or growth. It doesn’t let us find a “middle ground.” 

Focus on The Negative

Negative thinking is one of the most discussed topics in the self-help world. We all know the negative impact this kind of thinking can have on our life. If you are the type of person whose mind filters all information through a negative lens, you won’t be as happy or prosperous as you deserve. 

Overgeneralization

This thinking pattern is best described as taking a single incident and only drawing broad conclusions about it. For example, you fail at something so then decide it is unimportant, you are lousy, and you’ll never figure it out. Besides being overly cynical, this thought process isn’t logical. Try to stop thinking in absolutes. 

Mind Reading

It is impossible to read someone’s mind. Even if you are highly intuitive, you can’t know for sure what someone is thinking. If you are the type of character that makes quick assumptions about others or presumes you know the “real reason” they acted in a certain way, then you might be suffering from this thinking pattern. 

Fixed Mindset

A fixed mindset is an idea that things are black or white, and there is no reason to switch. You trust your abilities (which is great), but you never see a reason to expand or evolve. If you aren’t growing and progressing as a person, you are standing still, letting the world pass you by. 

Stuck on How

This type of limited thinking is when you get too wrapped up in the idea of “how.” For example, how will you ever reach your goals? While having a plan is necessary, sometimes we can’t possibly know all the details of accomplishing something. You can’t allow this to prevent you from taking action, though. 

Catastrophizing

Are you the type of person to assume the absolute worst of any situation? Does a minute obstacle in your path make you think the sky is falling? If so, you are likely suffering from catastrophizing. This limited thinking pattern makes us always expect the worst. If you don’t deal with it, you will be too paralyzed by fear and hesitation to grow truly. 

A Case of The “Shoulds”

If you ever get caught up worrying about the way things “should” be instead of how they are, you might be dealing with this confined thinking pattern. You expect the universe and other people to act according to your preconceived standards and cannot adapt when they don’t. 

Personalization

Not everything is about you. Did you need to hear that?

If so, you might be suffering from personalization.

This limited thinking pattern means you take everything personally. Not everything that happens to you is a personal slight or shortcoming. Sometimes things simply don’t work out, and it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you.

 If you’ve ever heard the phrase, “What you resist persists,” you have been introduced to the fundamental reason why your avoidance and how you cope can increase anxiety.

Emotional Or Cognitive Avoidance

This type of avoidance usually happens internally and can’t be seen by anyone other than the person experiencing the avoidance. When you, emotionally or cognitively, avoid something, it means that you avoid ruminating about it.

Cognitive avoidance is about avoiding internal events such as unpleasant or distressing thoughts or memories. With this type of avoidance, people usually suppress or reject the experience of certain kinds of thoughts that feel unpleasant or overwhelming.

This can mean either blocking out the thoughts when they come to mind or repressed memories that can be incredibly stressful.

Emotional avoidance is especially prominent after someone has experienced a trauma, and is very common in people living with PTSD. Sometimes this type of avoidance requires medical intervention to resolve.

Situational Avoidance

Situational avoidance is when you specifically avoid a particular person, place, or thing which may remind you of something which makes you unhappy. This frequently happens in friend groups when certain group members have had an altercation and don’t want to go to events where they may see the person they have disagreed with to avoid causing problems. 

You may also notice this type of avoidance in a friend who constantly changes the subject when a particular topic comes up in conversation. This type of avoidance is much easier to see among your family and friends.

Conflict avoidance

This is a type of people-pleasing behaviour that typically arises from a deep-rooted fear of upsetting others.

Many of these tendencies can be traced back to growing up in a dismissive or hypercritical environment.

People who respond to conflict this way often expect unfavourable outcomes and find it difficult to trust the other person’s reaction.

Here are more examples of how this may manifest:

1. Stonewalling or denying an issue exists by ignoring it

2. Fear of disappointing others

3. Deliberately sidestepping conversations

4. Silently resenting unresolved issues

Protective Avoidance

This type of avoidance is where you may go out of your way to protect yourself from feeling a particular emotion or experiencing something once again. For example, someone who was the victim of a robbery may obsessively check the locks on all the doors in the house to ensure they are locked. 

This type of avoidance can be one of the most dangerous as it can quickly escalate to a more severe condition such as obsessive-compulsive disorder or even an eating disorder.

Substitution avoidance

Substitution avoidance is essentially trying to replace one feeling with another. A person might replace grief with anger or another emotion that feels more tolerable for her at the time. For instance, patients who are unable to cope with difficult emotions might binge on food, substances, sex, pornography, shopping, or gambling as a way to distract.

Numbing out is also a form of substitution avoidance.

“Emotional numbing is the mental and emotional process of shutting out feelings and may be experienced as deficits of emotional responses or reactivity,” 

Avoidance is so natural and familiar that it can take complex forms and look completely different from one situation to the next. Avoidance isn’t always maladaptive, but in many cases involving internal events, it is not sustainable in the long run and can make things worse.

Read the full article.

When someone has integrity, they demonstrate ethical principles and sound morals. They strive to do what is right, no matter the situation, who's watching, or even how they feel. It is the foundation on which good relationships are built.

Integrity encourages trust and is a fundamental and value people look for when beginning any sort of relationship – professional or personal.

Research puts it amongst the top 5 values that employers look for when hiring.

·       People searching for a romantic partner also hold integrity in high regard and look for it in their potential partners. 

Integrity is a core quality required for a happy and successful life. It is the single most valuable character a person can develop to remarkably enhance all parts of their lives. When you decide to be a person of integrity and then commit to it, you will have taken the first step to a much more successful life.

A few other reasons' integrity is so important:

It Gives You Peace 

Compromising your morals to succeed or feel like you belong can be incredibly exhausting. When you live a life of integrity, you're truthful and clear about who you are or your stance on a matter. Your day-to-day life becomes easier, and you are at peace because you do not have to worry about hiding anything.

It Builds Self-Trust

While research has shown that integrity is a leading factor that makes people gain the trust of others, living in integrity also builds self-trust.

This is because we do not question ourselves when we have integrity; we listen to our hearts and follow through on what we think is right. This makes us trust ourselves more, which boosts confidence in general.

We Gain the Trust and Respect of Others

When we live in integrity, we gain the respect and trust of everybody, especially people with whom we have a close relationship. People see you as dependable, reliable, and responsible for your actions when you live with integrity.

People will feel safer when you give your word. You gain influence, which generates trust. Integrity is especially important if you occupy a leadership position as it is a sign of efficient leadership that the community, clients, workers, and stakeholders look out for.

Excellent relationships

We often attract who we are. When you live with integrity, your relationships will reflect these good morals. Living in integrity shows commendable character, and you will naturally draw people to you. When you do not have to be dishonest or compromise on your values to have friends, you'll find out that you'll have better and high-quality relationships.

 Like many of us, we have heard about mindfulness. I knew that it implied paying attention, opening our awareness to what is happening now, in the present moment, and accepting it without judging or trying to control it.

Mindfulness is unquestionably linked to breathing, yet we all know how to breathe because it is a natural phenomenon and doesn't need the practice anyway? 

Practising mindfulness by using your breath as the starting point and the focus not only opens your awareness to the present moment, which is what mindfulness is all about.

Instead of worrying about the future or dwelling on past actions, you are focused solely on remaining in the present moment. Whereby, reduce rumination (say goodbye to overthinking everything!)

Mindfulness originates from ""sati,"" a word in the ancient Indian language of Pali, which roughly translates to present-moment awareness.

Mindfulness is commonly integrated into yoga and tai chi practices, as well as meditations.

There's mindful walking and even mindful showers. However, the most popular way to practice mindfulness is through meditation.

You probably already know that meditation is a practice in quieting your mind.

Breathing meditation

So what is mindful breathing? 

Being aware of your breathing means observing and opening your consciousness to your breath: to your breathing in, and you're breathing out, without controlling or judging it in any way.

How to break a bad habit

Many of us have forgotten how to breathe well. By adulthood, we've picked up some unhelpful breathing habits. A baby breathes deep into its belly in a slow and steady rhythm. Stress can cause the body to go into a "fight or flight state, making us feel wired and ready for action.

One of the physiological changes we see happen in this state is that our breathing rate increases. Holding your stomach in, something lots of us do subconsciously can also make your breathing shallow, rapid or irregular.

Press rest

Breathing is an autonomic bodily function that we can also control. All breathing techniques involve a variation of three elements: inhaling, holding the breath, and exhaling. Depending on the desired effect, the pattern changes. The 4-7-8 Method, used for deep relaxation, involves inhaling for a count of four, holding the breath for seven, and exhaling for eight. 

Read the full article... https://mentalhealthtraining.info/mental-health/mindfulness/mindfulness-2

Critical thinking is essential to using your overall experience, background, common sense and other attributes to become more aware of how your efforts for success are being spent. When you have barriers to the critical thinking process, it can seriously harm your ability to move forward.

When you’re aware of these barriers, you can better overcome them and focus your thinking on what’s going to move you forward, rather than getting stuck behind a barrier – unable to move forward.

Here are five barriers that can impede the critical thinking process:

1.   Thinking in Black or White – Some people ignore a situation’s complexities by thinking that there’s only one way to solve a problem. The problem is placed in a category, given a label, and that’s the only way that matters. Thinking in black and white comes from our need to have certainty in our lives, but it’s false logic to assume that everything is totally one way.

2.   Thinking with the Ego – Ego-centrical thinking is thinking with a lack of understanding others wants and needs. It limits your thinking to only your point of view and doesn’t have room for others’ ideas. This thinking process is deeply embedded in our psyches, and it sometimes takes deliberate effort to overcome it.

3.   Social Thinking – The drone mentality of social thinking only lets us see things in the way of the popular point of view – or the way that our spouse, companions, parents and friends think. Thinking outside the box is almost impossible when you have a barrier of social thinking, and it can greatly impede the critical thinking process.

4.   Authoritative Thinking – Just because someone in authority says it’s true doesn’t mean it is. You’ve likely been swayed at one time or another by political leaders who say one thing is true, only to find out later that it was a lie or a misleading way of thinking.

The authority could be a person, peer group, institution or anything that makes you think that they’re right because they’re in an authoritative position.

5.   Judgmental thinking – When you judge something or someone based on moral evaluation it’s usually done in haste and based on our past in some way – such as the way we were raised, educated or other values and mores. Judgmental thinking is usually non-rational thinking and can block understanding and insight about a person or an issue.

It’s important that we recognize our own barriers to the critical thinking process and replace those barriers with rational and reasoned thinking, and then make a concentrated effort to avoid them.

Empathy in Mental Health

Empathy is a natural human emotion, and it served our ancestors’ to thrive on being socially acceptable within society and sensitive to the needs of our offspring. 

Now, anyone devoid of it strikes us as threatening or mentally ill.

For example, the absence of empathy is often considered one of the distinctive features of narcissism and violent behaviour is also known for its lack of compassion. 

Empathy defined: 

We cringe with imagined pain as we watch someone fall or cry at a stranger’s loss as we witness their sorrow; these are common humanistic responses. It is often described as “the ability to see the world through someone else’s eyes”. (LeCompte A (2000).

To be empathetic, we have to visualise what it would be like to be a mentality in the head of others or to walk a mile in their shoes.

Initially, empathy makes us reach out to others emotionally and then understand their situation and treat them with kindness. 

Some of you may recognise this as good old morals or bedside manner within the medical profession, but there is indeed a link between empathy and quality of care (Huggard, 2003).

Martin Clunes adequately displayed this as Doc Martin tribulations with his absence of altruism and fear of blood (hemophobia) contributed to some amusing encounters and sympathetic groans from the viewers in the British TV series that beggars belief.

Alternatively, as our stress hormone kicks into survival mode, our empathic nature then shuts down in the heat of the moment, focusing only on our particular pain and the innate need for self-preservation. 

However, this simplistic approach is questionable if you look at personality traits.

Some people, known as empaths, have such high empathy that they seem to take on the feelings of others, and their cortisol response is undoubtedly different in this case. They often respond more strongly to the pain and emotional distress others experience.

The mental load of feeling what everyone around you feels can also become too much and cause an increase of cortisol within the person.

Empaths share all the traits of Dr Elaine Aron’s “Highly Sensitive People” or HSPs. Empaths are like sponges that absorb all the stress surrounding them, making them vulnerable to adrenal fatigue. 

Learn more: https://mentalhealthtraining.info/mental-health/empathy

These days were so great, so why do we lose our imagination as they age?

You Figure Out What Will Never Happen

The main reason you will become less imaginative as you age is that as you learn more about the world around you and what is or isn't possible, this affects your creativity.

For example, when you are a child and think you can become a ballerina one day, well, that will have you spinning all over the living room! As you age, take dance lessons, and learn you are indeed not talented at dancing, well suddenly that dream goes away, as do you creatively imagining that you will one day become a ballerina.

You Adapt Social Norms

Besides just discovering several things in life that will never happen, you also begin to adapt to social norms as you age. Unfortunately, running around your house pretending you are a wizard or warlock isn't part of the social norms of life. Sometimes, this realization can be embarrassing, like finding out you are the only one who still plays with toys during break time. Events like this can lead you to leave imaginative play and your imagination behind to fit into the world around you.

You Forget How To Be Imaginative

To top it all off, as you are learning the truth and adopting social norms, you spend less time being creative and imaginative. Like any other skill in this world, the less you practice it, the more you begin to lose it.

Becoming less imaginative is a self-perpetuating cycle as you age. It is easy to see imagination in children. It makes up most of their playtime. Once they begin to grow older, they'll play less using imagination and more with toys or in front of electronic devices.

Sadly, humans lose their imagination as they age, but it is the unfortunate truth. It happens because of a combination of learning how the world works, adapting to their environment, and forgetting how it feels to be imaginative. At some point, if you don't change now, you likely won't be very imaginative at all. 

Contrary to some beliefs, self-discipline is not being harsh to yourself or living a restrictive lifestyle. Self-discipline also means self-control. It is a sign of inner strength and control of your actions, and your reactions. Self-discipline provides the power to stick to hard decisions, and follow them without changing your mind. This means self-discipline is an important requirement for achieving vital goals.

One of the main characteristics of self-discipline is the capability to reject pleasure and immediate enjoyment in favour of greater success, which is gained by spending time and effort.

Why self-discipline is important

The possession of self-discipline helps you to continue with your plans and decisions until you achieve them. It also displays as an inner strength that helps you to overcome addictions, laziness, and procrastination.

Self-discipline is an important ingredient for success. It is the ability not to give up, regardless of setbacks and failures. In fact, it is an important pillar of stable, long-term success. It is a skill that will help you understand the importance of life.

Life presents problems and challenges on the path to success. In order to act above those challenges, you must act with determination and perseverance. Lack of self-discipline may lead to problems such as failure, relationship problems, and health issues.

Just as some people have weak muscles, they can become strong with training. It’s the same with self-discipline. You can develop and strengthen self-discipline, like any other skill, through training. You can develop self-discipline at any time.

Development of self-discipline will help you:

•            Avoid carelessness.

•            Fulfil promises you make.

•            Overcome bad behaviours such as laziness and procrastination.

•            Engage in good behaviours like going to the gym, swimming or taking a walk even when your mind tells you to stay at home.

•            Stay focused on your diet and resisting the temptation of eating unhealthy food.

•            Waking early in the morning.

•            Overcome the bad habit of watching too much television.

•            Start reading motivational books, and implementing what you’ve learned.

•            Meditating regularly.

If you keep working and developing the skill, you will become stronger. On the other hand, if you do not challenge yourself in life, you will not gain self-discipline.

We are born with certain characteristic elements that have been predetermined and embodied within our genes.

Still, probably the more meaningful contribution to our adult character comes from life experiences, especially social experiences.

Amongst theorists, this could then trigger their genetic pool associated with their learning capacity and cognitive function. And a large body of evidence supports the conclusion that individual differences in most, if not all, are influenced by genetic factors.

One theory of personality development is the learning approach based on the classical and operant conditioning principles.

Operant conditioning suggests that any behaviour that results in a reward is more likely to be repeated, whereas punishments decrease the likelihood of the behaviour; this explains how any behaviour is acquired and how we get our temperament characteristics. 

For example, individuals might develop the personality trait of kindness towards others because they are rewarded when displaying such behaviour. 

Learn more: Development of personality

Mentalhealthtraining.info

Contents of the training programme

IntroductionSigns of a Narcissistic Personality DisorderBelieve They Are Better Than Anyone ElseNeed Constant Praise, Attention, and AdmirationSense of EntitlementThe Tendency to Demean and Belittle OthersAssociating Themselves to People with StatusTake Advantage of Other PeopleLack of EmpathyReactive to CriticismThe Different Types of NarcissistsThe Exhibitionist NarcissistThe Closet NarcissistThe Malignant (Toxic) NarcissistThe bullying narcissistThe seducer narcissistWhat Is, a Covert NarcissistOvert and CovertThe Signs of a Covert NarcissistQuiet SuperiorityNonchalant DisregardWhat is the difference between empathy and sympathy?Extreme SensitivityEmotionally UnavailablePassive-AggressivenessAre Narcissists and Sociopaths The Same?Do you believe most Ponzi schemers are sociopaths?Another Selfie? You Might Be a NarcissistCan You Stop Being a Narcissist?Develop the Right Mindset and Desire to ChangeDeveloping Self-AwarenessNarcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and relationshipsThe Velveteen RabbitSteps to Get Your Life Back After Narcissistic Abuse

Break Away from the Abuser and Implement a No-Contact RuleAllow Yourself to Feel Your EmotionsIf You’re in Too Deep, Seek Professional GuidanceMindfulness MeditationRebuild Your Self-EsteemNarcissists and JealousyA Narcissist in RelationshipsNarcissists are very convincing liars, schemers, and con artists.They Violate Boundaries A Narcissist’s Jealousy Issue in A RelationshipCan You Help a Narcissist Change?Changing A Narcissist is Only Possible with Their PermissionWhat Caused Their Narcissistic Behaviours?For the Narcissist Who Wants to Change, Seek Professional HelpAre Narcissists Pathological Liars?They Lie Because It Has Become Their Default BehaviourThey Lie Because They View People as ObjectsThey Lie to Gain SympathyFinding The Truth in a NarcissistProjection or MirroringGaslighting MethodAngry ConfessionsNarcissist TriangulationWhen Guards Are DownAsking Strange QuestionsFinding Truth in Their ActionsHow Do You Work with A Narcissist?Pick The Narcissist’s BrainBuild a WallBe Assertive Without Being AggressiveBuild A Strong Support NetworkDon’t Take It All Too Personally.Limit Your ExposureConclusion

You have probably heard the term laughter is the best medicine. It may even be a bit cliché at this point. However, it still holds quite true. If you are feeling down, forcing yourself to smile or laugh can turn your mood around.

If you are in need of a pick-me-up, make sure you hang out with people who are upbeat. If you are with others who are down as well, it’s going to be difficult for each of you to get out of your funk.

No one can truly be happy 100% of the time. If you are unhappy more than you are happy, it could be time to seek some help. But, part of your therapy could very well be to use laughter.

There are clinics that promote laughing as part of the group. It entails gathering in a circle and forcibly laughing while the group participates. Depending on who is running the event, each person may take a turn laughing and then the group joins after the last person completes the exercise. It seems strange to outsiders, but participants are proponents of the methods. They get a good feeling after the sessions, and many say they make great friends in the process.

Laughter can help lower stress as well. It releases endorphins in your brain, which are responsible for you feeling good. It is even believed to help in producing antibodies that can fight disease. This could be how the phrase, laughter makes the best medicine, came about.

You may feel strange yourself early on when incorporating laughter into your routine. But, even if it is forced, as you do more you'll get more used to it, and it will stop feeling strange over time. You will have the tools you need to change your mood. After a while, you will find yourself laughing for real rather than forcing it.

It will improve your general outlook on life. People you associate with will also take notice and want to hang out with you more. Give it a try for a consistent period. Notice the changes that you experience in your feelings. It is likely you will never go back to the way it was. While no one can guarantee using laughter will make you live longer, it won’t hurt you in any manner. The question is, why wouldn’t you use it if you’ve got nothing to lose?

according to a new study by researchers at Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH). The team found that the strong emotional attachment of youngsters to pets might result in measurable psychological distress that can serve as an indicator of depression in children and adolescents for as long as three years or more after the loss of a beloved pet.

"One of the first major losses a child will encounter is likely to be the death of a pet, and the impact can be traumatic, especially when that pet feels like a member of the family," the experience of pet death is often associated with elevated mental health symptoms in children, and that parents and physicians need to recognize and take those symptoms seriously, not simply brush them off."

Roughly half of the households in developed countries own at least one pet. And the bonds that children form with pets can resemble secure human relationships in terms of providing affection, protection and reassurance. What's more, previous studies have shown that children often turn to pets for comfort and to voice their fears and emotional experiences. While the increased empathy, self-esteem and social competence that often flow from this interaction are beneficial, the downside is children's exposure to the death of a pet which, is, 63 per cent of children with pets during their first seven years of life.

Prior research has focused on the attachment of adults to pets and the consequences of an animal's death. The Massachusetts team is the first to examine mental health responses in children. Their analysis is based on 6,260 children from the Avon Longitudinal Study of Parents and Children (ALSPAC), in Bristol, England. This population-based sample is replete with data collected from mothers and children that enabled researchers to track the experience of pet ownership and pet loss from a child's early age up to eight years.

"Thanks to this cohort, we were able to analyse the mental and emotional health of children after examining their experiences with pet death over an extended period," notes Erin Dunn, ScD, MPH, with the MGH Center for Genomic Medicine and Department of Psychiatry, and senior author of the study. "And we observed that the association between exposure to a pet's death and psychopathology symptoms in childhood occurred regardless of the child's socioeconomic status or hardships they had already endured in their young lives."

Researchers also learned that the relationship between pet death and increased psychopathology was more pronounced in male than female children -- a finding that surprised them in light of prior research -- and that the strength of the association was independent of when the pet's death occurred during childhood, and how many times or how recently it occurred. According to Dunn, this latter finding speaks to "the durability of the bond with pets that is formed at a very early age, and how it can affect children across their development."

The MGH study stressed the importance of parents, caregivers, and paediatricians recognizing and taking seriously children's short- and long-term psychological reactions to the death of a pet – reactions that can mimic a child's response to the loss of other significant family members. "Adults need to pay attention to whether those feelings are deeper and more profound and if they're lasting longer than might have been expected," says Crawford. "They could be signs of complicated grief, and having someone to talk to sympathetically or therapeutically may be extremely helpful for a child who is grieving."

Reference:

People are wired with emotions. Therefore, when you suppress your emotions, you are going against your design. That can cause harm to you physically and emotionally.

There is a time and place for everything, including expressing emotions. It’s probably not the best idea to shout in the middle of a busy location. In this day and age, people could mistake your actions when doing this.

Keeping your emotions bottled up will eventually lead to stress and other adverse mental conditions. If this continues for too long, it can cause you to become depressed and can lead to problems with alcohol or drug abuse. For instance, many people turn to sleep aids or worse, like Oxycontin and other opioid-type drugs. These are highly addictive and only mask the symptoms. They are seldom used to cure conditions.

Many people are taught to suppress emotions by their parents and grandparents. These generations were taught to do the same and felt it was a true sign of character to be able to keep your emotions in check. During their time as kids, there was less information about the effects of emotions than there are currently.

Some people still adhere to the old ways of not expressing emotions. Expressing emotions is similar to complaining, and no one wants to hear it. However, modern studies are pointing to suppressing emotions as damaging.

There are classes that allow you to let off some steam. People have different ways to accomplish this. Some will play sports like basketball, while others will work out at the gym. Meditation is another, more tranquil way to reduce your stress.

Sometimes all you need is to talk to someone about what you are feeling. You are letting your guard down when you do this, so make sure you find someone you can trust. If you choose a co-worker, make sure you don’t disclose so much to leave you vulnerable should that person tell what you said to others in the workplace. If it gets back to your boss or another person who you may be talking about, it could have negative consequences.

Keeping your emotions inside is never healthy. However, you need to try and find the right time to express those emotions. But finding that time is crucial to your mental and physical wellbeing. It is not worth getting sick because you aren’t willing to express yourself. The benefits of letting it out will lead you to a better life.

Regret happens. What doesn’t have to happen is you holding on to it forever? Releasing regret is a process, one that is different for every person and every situation. However, you can give various forms of releasing regret a try and learn about yourself in the process.

1.    Practice Daily Gratitude

Practising daily gratitude is a great way to consistently remind yourself of all that you have. Family, friends, a home, food to eat, maybe even a cute puppy to come home to. Whatever your gratitude is toward, reminding yourself of it is a great way to reflect on the good in your life and make the regrets seem less important in the grand scheme of life.

2.    Trust the Journey

Reminding yourself that even the adverse events in life are part of a bigger journey allows you to look at the larger picture. Yes, you regret this one mistake. But, did that one mistake lead you down a different path that had good outcomes? Everything happens for a reason, trust that in time you will find out why that mistake or loss occurred.

3.    Learn to Release Emotions

Emotions in the grand scheme of life (once again; are you seeing the bigger picture yet?) are fleeting. Learning to release your feelings when they are not serving you will aid you now and in the future. Stop beating yourself up for something that happened in the past and learn to move on with a clear mind and focus.

4.    Accept the Lesson Learned

Situations or actions we regret typically offer us a lesson—if we are open to learning it. Accept that you learned a lesson and move on with it. Living through a challenging event means nothing if you don’t continue living and implement what you learned into your future life.

5.    “What If the Past Doesn’t Change the Future

Living in the land of “what ifs” is tempting. However, “what if’s” literally means nothing in the practice of daily life. You can spend hours or even days guessing at a different outcome, but it doesn’t matter. Those what-ifs will never directly impact your future other than to steal from it. Stop reliving it and move on.

If you are living your life being swallowed alive by your regret, start exploring ways to release it and move on. You deserve a life that is fulfilled and happy, not a life that leaves you stuck in the past and wallowing in disappointment.

Intuitively, many believe that men and women handle their emotions in different ways. But, there are certainly men who are more emotional and women who are not. It could be a societal aspect where men are taught to “man up” and keep their emotions in check, while women are told they are the nurturers in a relationship and should express emotions more readily.

The book, “Men Are from Mars and Women Are from Venus,” lays out why we are different from each other. It could be that these differences complement each other and help to round out a family. Of course, men and women will continue to complain to their friends about the opposite sex. It makes you wonder if this is simple posturing. There are plenty of stories that play off these differences.

While women may believe men are callous and cold, the truth is men do experience emotions. They just do it differently than women. Many men do get choked up when they see an emotional film. They just try to keep it from coming to the forefront. Some men have no problems with expressing those emotions.

There are women who don’t want their men to be too emotional. They view them as being weak and, even when overdone, as being effeminate. It’s a delicate balance, as they don’t want their men completely emotionless.

Hollywood's movies often reinforce the stereotypes between men and women. People who grew up watching John Wayne movies saw the Duke as being a tough guy. Men would model themselves based on their characters. It’s not much different from the movies shown today.

Another factor that may explain the differences between how men and women express emotions is biology. Women have different hormones than men. These hormones can affect how people feel those emotions.

It’s important to note that many studies on the differences between men and women are centred around the study of the brain. While science has come a long way in the past 50 years or so with these studies, the brain is still a highly complex organ. In the grand scheme of things, we know very little about it.

Therefore, how much do we know about emotions in either sex?

What will we know 50 years from now about the brain? No one can say for sure, but it is likely to be very different from what is known now.

When you’re in upheaval, you tend to hit survival mode pretty quickly. Your life becomes focused on just getting through the day.

Beyond that? You don’t have the time or energy to care.

Now more than ever, you need to take advantage of what time you have for personal growth. When we are challenged is where we rise to the occasion the best. During the upheaval, our minds become busy, and we start thinking more. It’s a great time to take advantage of a mind made flexible by circumstances and learn something new.

In short, this is an excellent time for personal growth.

Furthermore, the act of bettering yourself gives you a focus, something you can control right now, at this moment, helping your mental state. It’s all about attitude and the idea you can keep growing, even now. How?

You Learn to Embrace Adversity

There’s no doubt upheaval can make a mess of your life. But as you dig in and start looking for solutions, you’re going to discover something about yourself. Adversity brings out your best, forcing you out from complacency to find new solutions. With an open-minded attitude, you can even come to embrace adversity.

You Become More Adept at Challenges

A crisis demands creative solutions. After all, if the status quo had been working, you wouldn’t be where you are now. In the long run, what this means if you’re going to get better at brainstorming and seeing solutions where you hadn’t previously.

You Become Better at Seeing the Opportunity

Once you look past the disaster itself, you’re going to start seeing a chance to shine. There’s a great deal of opportunity in upheaval if you can maintain an openness to trying new things and adaptability when it comes to rolling with the punches. Developing this skill now means you’re never going to miss an opportunity again.

You Cultivate Positivity

How can you possibly make it through a crisis if all you’re doing is focusing on the negative? If you can now discover the ability to find the positive and to keep an upbeat attitude even when things are going wrong, you’ll be able to stay positive no matter what life throws at you.

You Develop More Empathy

You can’t go through these kinds of tough times without learning something about how hard life can be. By leveraging this into empathy, you’ll gain more compassion for those around you.

Wow, this is a lot! Imagine the newer, stronger version of yourself developing even now. How exciting to think you’ll be coming out of this crisis more robust and better than ever before!

People are often told that they need to do more, be more, and can't be truly happy until they do. This can often be an exhausting list of unattainable goals to chase. Instead of focusing on what you don't have, you should use the tips below to help you be happy with wherever you currently are in life. 

Don't Compare Yourself to Others

Where do you hear about all these more things that you need to do and achieve? Probably from friends and family, right?

You are unique, and this is why you should stop comparing yourself to others immediately.

If a friend or family member compares you to others in front of you, ask them to please stop doing this. There is only one of you on this earth, and there is no way that anyone else will have the same journey. If they truly care about you, they will recognize this too.

Try to Feel Grateful, For One Thing, Each Day

Another way you can be happy with where you are in life is by finding at least one thing to be thankful for every day. Again, it's best if you write this thing down in a journal so that you can look back later and see all the things you are thankful for. Remember, you don't just have to be thankful for physical possessions; you can also be thankful for those in your life and characteristics of yourself that you enjoy. 

Learn to Let Go

So, why aren't you happy with your life? Are you not where you thought you would be?

Do you regret something? No matter what it is that may be holding you back from happiness, it's time to let it go. No one cares that you didn't quite make as much money as you thought you would, and it doesn't matter if you didn't end up with the job you dreamed of having.

Your happiness is whatever makes you happy in the here and now. So start embracing your life as is and let go of any what-might-have-been thinking. 

If you want to be happy with where you are in life, the choice is all yours. All you must do is stop comparing yourself to others, resolve to feel grateful for one thing a day, and learn to let go of any misconceptions you may be having. After you've accomplished all this, you may find that you are quite happy with your life just as it is. 

If you believe in yourself, there is little to stop you in whatever you want to accomplish. It gives you the power to push forward and to defy the odds. You will be able to handle any roadblocks that come your way. You will also brush off the naysayers. It gives you peace of mind when you stick to your self-belief.

To keep that self-belief strong, you need to define your goals. You wouldn’t expect a general to fight a war without a map. You, too, need a map to guide you on how to proceed. Too many people skip this step and wonder why they aren’t getting anywhere.

Goals are your guidance, but carrying through with them is only done when you believe that it’s possible. The belief is the energy you need to take action. It helps you to focus on getting your tasks complete.

You will also build confidence when you have self-belief. It’s a powerful tool, as others will be attracted to that confidence. They will follow your lead, and you will help show them what is possible. When you run into any stumbling blocks (and you will), that confidence will help you see them through. You will know how to take alternative action when necessary. The people following you will respect that as well.

Several forces will try to beat you down. You may even find yourself letting it happen. You need to get centred on why you started your journey in the first place. Use affirmations to reinforce your message. Be consistent with your affirmations.

Unfortunately, many of the negative forces are going to be from your family and friends. They will see it as helping you avoid mistakes. Many people will succumb to this negative pressure and give up. One way to prevent this is to join groups of like-minded individuals. It can be related to your business, or it can be groups that focus on self-help. These organizations exist to try and push the negative forces out. It’s great to go to meetings and get encouragement from the group.

Attending these groups can sometimes lead to friendships with people where you can extend the encouragement of each other. You may even form business partnerships from these friendships. It’s good to know that you have the support of these people when these relationships form.

They understand when everyone else around you doesn’t. Your self-belief will strengthen considerably from this arrangement.

For this reason, any list of deviant practices will, to some extent, be a reflection of the prevailing view of what is expected.

Paraphilias are emotional disorders with sexual behaviours or impulses, distinguished by intense sexual fantasies with an urge that keeps coming back. 

The desires and behaviours may involve unusual objects, activities, or situations that are not usually considered sexually arousing by others.  

The word paraphilia derives from Greek; para means around or beside, and philia implies love. 

It is probably most helpful to look at deviant behaviour as practices that lack the mutuality, affection and tenderness which lie at the heart of conventional sexual rela­tionships. 

On this basis, the vast majority of people would regard the follow­ing as deviant, and a total of eight Paraphilias are listed in the DSM V :

1. Paedophilia: Sex with children.

2. Sadism: Inflicting cruelty for sexual arousal.

3. Masochism: Experienc­ing cruelty for purposes of arousal. Masochism is 20 times more common in women than men; paraphilias are almost exclusively diagnosed in men.

4. Exhibitionism: Undesired exposure of the genitals (usually male).

5. Fetishism: Recurrent sexual arousal interest in an inanimate object.

6. Transvestism: Obtaining pleasure by wearing clothes of the opposite sex.

7. Voyeurism: Watching the sexual activity of others.

8. Telephone scatology: Making obscene telephone calls.

9. Frotteurism: Rubbing your manhood, against women, in crowded places.

10. Coprophilia: Sexual plea­sure in being defecated on.

11. Urophilia: Sexual plea­sure in being urinated on.

12. Bestiality: Sex with animals. The research found that the most common paraphilia interest amongst men is often voyeurism and fetishism.

However, many people who suffer from one paraphilia have more than one deviant.

Read the full article, Sexual Deviation

Every human on this earth - at least the ones lucky enough to make it - has to face ageing. It can be difficult to do so with grace, but when you age gracefully, you will ultimately be happier. You will enjoy your time more than when you waste it fighting to age. Below are the top three secrets to ageing gracefully.

1.    Reduce Your Stress Levels

People may have told you that stress ages you unnecessarily, and they aren't wrong! Stress can affect everything from your sleeping habits to your digestive system and even your heart! And as you age, these effects multiply. Therefore, it is time to lower the stressors in your life. This will help you avoid damage to your body, and you will also be healthier and happier. You will be more ready to meet ageing with grace.

You can reduce your stress levels by meditating, journaling, and exercising properly every day. It would be best to get 8-9 hours of sleep a night and ensure you are feeding your body nutritious food.

2.    Try Something New

One of the big mistakes people make as they age is they stop trying new things! When you try something you've always wanted to do but never had the chance, this can help you feel rejuvenated and younger.

As you age, moments like this will help you accept the changes happening to your body because they will keep you feeling young on the inside.

So if you’ve ever wanted to skydive, go for it. Want to learn a new form of art? Sign up for that pottery class. There is no time like the present!

3.    Don’t Dwell On The Small Stuff

As you age, there will be many small things that pop up that may annoy you. Can't run as fast as you used to?

That's okay. At least you are staying active. See grey hairs? Well, now you can have that silver look you've always wanted! The point is, life is too short to worry about the small stuff! If you can't focus on anything else, these little thoughts will become obsessive, and you won't age with grace.

Ageing is never easy, but if you follow the above three steps in your life, you may find that ageing with a sense of grace isn't as hard as you thought after all. Just remember to reduce your stress, try new things, and let the small stuff go. 

Do you know someone who has depression?

Have you or someone in your family been diagnosed with depression?

Even if we are dealing with depression in ourselves or our families, we may not know what it truly is.

Is it just feeling sad all the time?

Why can't people merely snap out of it? 

Depression is said to be the most widespread mental disorder. It affects women far more than men and is particularly prevalent in teens. 

What Causes Depression?

There are various opinions on what causes depression, and even the role of brain chemicals is disputed. Generally, though, depression can be segregated into two categories: circumstantial and clinical.

Circumstantial depression refers to feelings surrounding an event, such as a death in the family or having to sell one's house and move.

The circumstances that can cause depression are incredibly numerous, from kids having trouble with friends at school to the elderly in a nursing home. Circumstantial depression is also highly individualized.

Clinical depression opposes circumstances, and the sad person may feel more depressed because they can't find a reason for such dreadful feelings. Clinical depression may also baffle those around the patient because they can't understand how a person could be depressed when their life seems to be going fine. This lack of understanding may make the patient's depression worse. 

Treatment approaches differ according to the type of depression the patient is experiencing and the individual's personality and lifestyle. 

Myths covering depression

There are many myths surrounding depression that, when explained, help people better understand the illness. For example:

* Isn't depression just self-pity? - Depressed people may seem to be "wallowing" in their sadness, but it's not wilful self-pity. It's a genuine medical illness; sources point out that it should be treated as such. 

* Medication for depression is overkill and just treats the symptoms - For those on the outside, so to speak, medication can seem like putting a Band-Aid on a massive wound.

But often, medication is what the patient needs to feel good enough to seek help for the underlying dilemma.

* Depression is not a "real" illness - Actually, it is; brain imaging studies have revealed how the actual chemical imbalances occur in the brain of a depressed person.

Even if the cause is circumstantial, it is considered physiological - the chemical imbalance may still be present regardless of the depression's origin. 

Other Factors

Depression can be affected not only by circumstances because genetics, personality, psychology, and biology may also play a role.

Women are far more likely to be diagnosed with depression, indicating possible hormonal factors.

On the other hand, men are more likely to succeed in suicide as a result of depression than women, although more women than men attempt suicide, sources report. 

Exhibitionism occurs when a man gives way to an urge to expose his genitals to a female stranger or a person with whom he is not in a close relationship. It is an almost solely male disorder and is one of the most familiar forms of sexual deviation.

In a sexual context, exhibitionism is a sexual kink in which the person feels sexual arousal at the idea or reality of being seen naked or engaged in sexual activities by others,” says clinical sexologist Sarah Melancon, in the Cosmopolitan

Merriam-Webster: definition of exhibitionism

1: A perversion in which sexual gratification is obtained from the indecent exposure of one’s genitals (as to a stranger)

2: The act or practice of behaving to attract attention to oneself

What is exhibitionism?

The mental health condition is known as an exhibitionist disorder, which involves deriving, "recurrent and intense sexual arousal" from the exposure of one's genitals to an unsuspecting person.

Anticipation of the exposure usually causes sexual excitement, followed by masturbation, performed during or after the event. Usually, a reac­tion of shock, fright or disgust is needed for the attempt to succeed, and exposure is likely to fail in its objective if the woman shows indifference, amuse­ment or contempt.

About 30% of male sex offenders who are arrested are exhibitionists. They tend to persist in their behaviour. About 20 to 50% are re-arrested.

Female exhibitionism is relatively rare and is allowed outlets in society. It rarely takes a deviant form.

What causes exhibitionism?

Men who practice exhibi­tionism tend not to have a normal sex life and feel the need to assert their masculinity by displaying their manhood, preferably erect, and then eliciting an emotional reaction from the victim. 

Some men turn to exhibitionism due to severe psychological trauma or grief, but this is rare. Persistent exhibitionists nearly always have a personality disorder arising from some form of inadequacy.

It is said that most exhibitionists are married, but their marriage is often troubled. They looked on their wives as mother substitutes and remained abnormally attached to their mothers in child­hood. 

Exhibitionism usually starts during adolescence. The exhibitionist, although sexually infan­tile, may in other respects be a remarkably normal, capable, well-educated and presentable person, often with ostensibly high moral standards.

Such men usually severely lacking in sexual self-confidence and find difficulty achieving sexual satisfaction in the usual acceptable ways.

In some cases, the disor­der arises from brain damage, substance abuse and older men with senile or alcoholic dementia.  Some have severe epilepsy; or abnormal patterns of electrical activity in the brain as measured on an EEG (electroencephalogram), but without seizures.

Some have abnormal hormone levels, and a few are mentally retarded. The great majority, however, do not suffer from any organic disorder. Most exhibitionists adopt a set pattern of exposure, occurring at a particular type of place and often at a specific time of day or night.

Cine­mas and theatre seats are popular, as are parked cars or secluded areas that provide them with cover before the act of exposure. Exhibitionists will frequently choose a particular site, such as one close to a girls’ school.

Exhibitionism is closely related to the other sexual deviations of voyeurism (peeping) and of making obscene phone calls. The same person may practice all three, and all share the features of anticipatory tension and arousal, and all are accompanied by masturbation. In the case of obscene telephone call­ing, masturbation is often completed after the victim has ended the call.

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We may even feel down and melancholy for a few days as a result. However, some individuals feel inferior and inadequate almost all the time. These individuals can be suffering from a severe inferiority complex.

What is an Inferiority Complex?

An inferiority complex is the feeling of inadequacy brought about by various factors, including real and imagined ones. Human emotions can significantly influence a person’s actions and behaviours, often not in their best interest.

Our subconscious thoughts and feelings can often cause our responsive behaviours to circumstances to be disproportionate, either downplaying or overcompensating them.

An individual suffering from an excess of unrealistic inadequacies can develop a dangerous mental and emotional state if left unaddressed.

An inferiority complex negatively impacts the sufferer and those they come in contact with, especially those close to them.

Here are the common signs of an inferiority complex.

1. Continually Finding Fault in Others

It is straightforward for a person with an inferiority complex to find fault in what others do. Instead of focusing on positive results, these individuals can quickly spot, point out, and amplify others’ mistakes.

2. Treating Feedback as Criticism

There is a lack of broad-mindedness, and openness to well-meant, constructive feedback. Any pointed-out differences may be perceived as an attack and responded to with spite.

3. Overly Sensitive About What Others Think

Image matters a lot to those with an inferiority complex. It may not be their fault, but inferior people are susceptible to what others think. They want everything to be perfect, and as this is all but impossible, they are often given to displays of anger.

4. See Compliments Differently

They can struggle with accepting compliments in the spirit they are given. Even if praised, a person suffering from an inferiority complex feels that they are being condescended to, or that the other person is not sincere.

5. Sees Others as Threats

Due to a lack of open-mindedness and trust in others’ intentions, victims of an inferiority complex are easily intimidated by new team members, internal organizational changes, or developments.

6. Displays False Sense of Superiority

This is a common trait for those with an inferiority complex with a lack of experience and knowledge, and their behaviour can be boastful, wilful, and insensitive.

7. Withdraws From Social Events

These suffering show ‘avoidance’ behaviour. They feel more comfortable if they are absent from social gatherings and situations.

8. Always Comparing themselves to Others

There is always someone out there who is better than they are to an inferior person. Self-esteem is very low.

9. Does not Accept failure

They cannot accept failure as a feedback mechanism for self-improvement. They are perfectionists and believe they will be judged for all they do and say. There is always a need to prove themselves.

Here are a few ways to help overcome an inferiority complex.

• Do not compare yourself to other people around you.
• Understand the cause of your depression
• Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
• Let go of your baggage.
• Love yourself.
• Accept failure.

An inferiority complex can be challenging to overcome. The roots of this condition lie deep into the subconscious and have a tremendous effect on behaviour and outlook.

You should read the profiles of successful people. They contain gems of information and can act as a resource for everyone else. The story is one aspect of reading about them. However, how they dealt with the situations is often a source of inspiration. When you become inspired, you increase your chances of dealing with your problems.

Inspiration doesn’t last forever, unfortunately. You need to reinforce the message. If you can, try to set aside time to read one story of a successful person every month. It will help you with your inspiration, and it will feed ideas on how to use their stories to make your life easier or better.

The stories of some people are dated. However, their techniques may be timeless. A perfect example of this is Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. The stories themselves describe people and occupations of days long gone. But, his techniques are as valid today as they were back then.

You can read all about the stories of successful people and get inspired. But, if you don’t take action, it will be of little help to you. At that point, you become nothing more than a dreamer. Having dreams is good, but you need to make sure you take action on those dreams.

Reading the stories of successful people shows that they are just like the rest of us. There isn’t anything superhuman about them that led them to their successes. You will find a common theme among those facing adversity. They had persistent and kept a positive attitude. Those two attributes will take you far when facing any situation.

You can choose to read stories online or find material in your local library. You can also choose to find stories on the internet. Be careful of the resources you find online. Anyone can publish whatever they like and sound convincing on their authority. Make sure you check the resources and keep a critical eye out for people who don’t present qualified information.

When you get in the habit of reading material about successful people, you will shift to a successful mindset yourself. You will have a memory bank of stories to draw inspiration.

It’s true.

If you read the stories or profiles of most successful people, you will be surprised at just how adverse their situations were. They often tell stories for others to learn and used to overcome adversity.

You should read the profiles of successful people. They contain gems of information and can act as a resource for everyone else. The story is one aspect of reading about them. However, how they dealt with the situations is often a source of inspiration.

When you become inspired, you increase your chances of dealing with your problems.

Inspiration doesn’t last forever, unfortunately. You need to reinforce the message. If you can, try to set aside time to read one story of a successful person every month. It will help you with your inspiration, and it will feed ideas on how to use their stories to make your life easier or better.

The stories of some people are dated. However, their techniques may be timeless. A perfect example of this is Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People.

The stories themselves describe people and occupations of days long gone. But, his techniques are as valid today as they were back then.

You can read all about the stories of successful people and get inspired. But, if you don’t take action, it will be of little help to you.

At that point, you become nothing more than a dreamer. Having dreams is good, but you need to make sure you take action on those dreams.

Reading the stories of successful people shows that they are just like the rest of us. There isn’t anything superhuman about them that led them to their successes.

You will find a common theme among those facing adversity.

They had persistent and kept a positive attitude. Those two attributes will take you far when facing any situation.

You can choose to read stories online or find material in your local library. You can also choose to find stories on the internet. Be careful of the resources you find online.

Anyone can publish whatever they like and sound convincing on their authority. Make sure you check the resources and keep a critical eye out for people who don’t present qualified information.

When you get in the habit of reading material about successful people, you will shift to a successful mindset yourself. You will have a memory bank of stories to draw inspiration.

The job we thought was safe might not be there tomorrow. There’s always some natural disaster somewhere. And people seem to be more cruel than kind.

It’s easy to get caught up in a negative spiral of self-doubt and anxiety. How do you stay hopeful and positive when around you all you see are negative messages and fear?

Be here now

By focusing on the present, you will find it easier to take a step back and act as an observer. By practising mindfulness, you’ll see you can enjoy the simple things in life, no matter how bad things may seem.

All worries and fears of the unknown can melt away if you focus on the present. Look for things in your life for which you're grateful.

Look for ways to exhibit compassion and empathy

Spreading hope needs to start somewhere. Begin with the one person you can control, yourself. By looking for opportunities to pay it forward through random acts of kindness, you then become the impetus for others to do the same.

Your compassionate heart and ability to walk in another’s shoes will be the guide to those around you. And even if it’s not? You’ll have at least changed one heart - your own.

Do something

The person without hope becomes stagnant, preferring to hide from the world. If you find that’s the case with yourself, then it’s time to force yourself into action, even if you don’t feel like it. Get out of the house.

Call a friend and suggest an outing, or go by yourself. Find a green space somewhere because these places have been found to create calm and contentment in those who spend even a few minutes there.

The goal is to find a positive action and embrace it, whatever that might be. Pick up litter, hug a child, do something that makes you feel good inside, and there you will find hope blossoming.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the negativity of the world around you. Only by actively seeking hope will you find it. By practising these three steps regularly, you’ll find yourself able to look forward to each day, no matter what’s going on around you.

At work, those suffering — from clinical conditions or more minor ones — often hide it for fear that they may face discrimination from rivals or even bosses.

Managers are likely to see employees struggle with anxiety, depression, burnout, trauma, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Those mental health experiences will differ according to race, economic opportunity, work type/physical environment and many other variables. These stigmas can be and should be defeated. 

When managers understand mental health issues and respond to them, it can make all the difference for an employee professionally and personally.

This involves taking notice, offering a helping hand, and saying, “I’m here, I have your back, you are not alone.”

When your people are struggling, you want them to open up and ask for help. For some people who are struggling with mental health, not talking about it is one of the worst parts.

So by getting people talking about mental health, we can start to break down stereotypes. We can then improve relationships, increase access to support and remove mental health stigma.

The following five strategies can help any manager or organization create a culture that ceases to stigmatize mental illness.

Here are five ways managers can help drive a more empathetic culture:

1. Pay attention to language.
2. Rethink “sick days.
3. Encourage open and honest conversations.
4. Be proactive.

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You need to get at the heart of whom each person is when motivating them. People are different, and you need to consider those differences. Some people are driven using high energy techniques, whereas others like a laid-back and subtle approach.

To learn about others, you need to learn more about what they are like on a personal level. If you have been avoiding participation in after-work activities, you may want to start.

This doesn’t mean you need to do it every time. Your employees need to have time away from the boss on occasion. However, you do want to get to know your workers in a more relaxed and social environment.

It’s not likely that your workers will open up completely when you are attending a social event with them. They will still have their guards up.

You are the boss, after all, and this makes trying to learn about them more challenging. However, as you continue to interact with them outside the work setting, they will naturally open up more.

If you negatively use information about your employees, it is going to backfire on you. If your workers confide in you, and then you turn it against them, you can forget about getting them to open up to you. News will quickly spread that you are not to be trusted.

Therefore, you need to be careful what you do with this information. Sometimes, you will have no choice but to use the information against them. However, don’t take that decision lightly.

Motivating others is about formulating a plan that aligns their needs with yours. When you learn what others are about, you can customize each plan accordingly. Discussing these plans with your co-workers is okay. In fact, it’s great to get their feedback as part of the process. It affects them, so they should know.

You can change plans when you find out about new information or circumstances.

Be willing to make those changes, especially if they are in the best interests of your workers. Listen to what they say and offer to adjust the plans if it makes sense to do so.

They will appreciate you, and you'll find motivating them will take care of itself.

The above requires you to develop confidence. That may seem scary to you. However, it’s not as difficult as you think. No one is born with confidence. It is something people learn and develop during their lives. It’s the same for you. Take steps to develop your confidence, and trusting yourself will become easy.

Fear is the biggest detractor from confidence. When you give in to your fears, you will diminish the chances of building up your confidence. That is something that deepens if you don’t handle it quickly. You need to face your fears head-on.

That doesn’t mean you should throw caution to the wind and be reckless. You should take chances, but only if they won’t put your life or others’ lives in danger. You would not jump out of a plane without a parachute. Don’t make frivolous decisions, either. Confidence is about knowing the difference.

Start out with small tasks that you have been afraid to try in the past. Most outcomes will turn out better than you imagine. If you try to project what will happen, and it is always a negative outcome, you will never make any decisions. Take on those small tasks without thinking too much about what’s going to happen. That will build up your confidence as you’ve never seen before.

You should ask questions when you aren’t sure about the situations you face. Confidence is not about having all the answers. It’s about knowing where to find them and who to rely on with the knowledge that you need. It’s also about pulling the trigger when you have gathered enough information.

Confidence is about taking responsibility for your decisions and your actions. If you believe in what you are doing, you can portray that belief to others affected by your decisions. You will come across as being weak if you start blaming others when your situation doesn’t go as planned. Once this happens, others will lose faith in you. That will cause your confidence to erode, and self-doubt will take over. When you make your decisions, you own them, even if they don’t work out.

When you increase your confidence, you will automatically increase trusting yourself. Then, you can accomplish more than you ever imagined.

Saying sorry can be a powerful plea for forgiveness, a humble act and a virtue. But when used too often or without thinking, it might not be such a good thing.

The word 'sorry', when used appropriately, can be packed with power. It can heal wounds and bridge divisions. Admitting you made a mistake and taking responsibility for it is not a mark of weakness, but a virtue. It would be impossible to go through life without ever causing anyone discomfort or upset, however, unwittingly.

Asking for forgiveness genuinely can be the stitch that mends and also shows the strength of character.

On the other hand, imagine what happens when sorry seems to be not the hardest word, sadly as Elton John sang, but the easiest?

When does an apology turn into a verbal tic or a rhetorical filler?

Or if it ends up being appended to almost any idiom - or becomes a conversation in itself.

Think of those interactions that seem entirely to consist of saying 'sorry'.

This deluge of forgiveness-begging might not seem to matter. It can be seen as a form of good manners, a way to soften what's said, the verbal equivalent of an emoji.

Maybe it's a way to deliver the truth without appearing too candid.

Yet if the insincere plea becomes overused, it could shift the meaning of the word. When uttered tonelessly or even aggressively, indeed, it then implies the opposite. In this context, sorry is not sorry at all.

In any case, overusing any word diffuses its strength. Its impact is lessened with each time it's unmindfully applied until it becomes insignificant.

Think about it: if you've no reserved word in your vocabulary, what if you want to make a heartfelt show of remorse?

If you've hurt someone's feelings and need to show them you care,

what's the point in saying the same word you've already uttered 20 times today?

The truth is, language matters, and making unnecessary apologies can undermine inner strength and resilience.

A supposedly innocuous, yet needless, request for absolution can then become a habit of presenting yourself in the wrong. It can even appear to beg pardon for the so-called inconvenience of daring to exist.

At the same time, it can be a habit that's hard to break if it takes root. I've caught myself in pointless sorries so many times, including apologising to a chair because you walked into it!

But perhaps, and you can start understanding when repentance is unwarranted, over time, it will become easier to hold back, hang on to one's self-esteem and keep this powerful word for the times when it's appropriate.

Check out your list of Sorry's

Try to recognize how other people's unnecessary apologies impact your judgments of them. It might be the same way they see you.

• Notice if you say sorry without thinking, how often you, do it, and why. These apologies might affect your sense of self-worth more than you know.

• Think of replacement words you might use instead of it, alternatively, is it necessary at all.

• Enjoy holding back on saying sorry, despite the discomfort you might feel.

• A heartfelt show of repentance can make a real impact. Think of times you've used this powerful word when it was truly needed - and how that felt.

On average, 40% of seniors are impacted by the isolation that comes with living alone and the resulting feelings of loneliness, increasing their risk for depression, dementia, and premature death.

What is isolation?

Isolation is the experience of being separated or cut off from other people. It is usually felt when an indi­vidual has minimal human contact, but it can also occur within an emotionally unsatisfying personal relationship. A few people may choose to be isolated and enjoy their solitude, but the situation is often regarded as unwelcome.

Nearly everyone experi­ences feelings of isolation at some time in their lives, if only for a short while. For example, when start­ing a new job or beginning at college, loneliness is common until new networks and friendships are made. Like the elderly and young moth­ers with pre-school children, some people may be at risk of prolonged spells of isola­tion in their own homes.

Isolation is often accom­panied by loneliness. People need relationships with family and friends to maintain a sense of self-esteem. 

Such networks provide warmth and support and provide shared interests and concerns. Without these relationships, loneliness may follow, with a result­ing loss of self-confidence and perhaps even the onset of depression.

Are loneliness and social isolation linked?

Loneliness and social isolation are different but related concepts. While loneliness can be closely related to social isolation in many people’s minds, social isolation can lead to loneliness, and loneliness can lead to social isolation. Both may also occur at the same time.

People can experience different levels of social isolation and loneliness over their lifetime, moving in and out of these states as their circumstances change.

Loneliness and social isolation also share many factors that increase the likelihood of people experiencing each, such as deteriorating health and sensory and mobility impairments.

Loneliness and social isolation during the COVID-19 Period?

Before the COVID-19 pandemic, loneliness and social isolation were prevalent across Europe, the USA, and China. The situation has only worsened with the restrictions imposed to contain the viral spread.

However, there is a high cost associated with the essential quarantine and social distancing interventions for COVID-19, especially in older adults, who have experienced an acute, severe sense of social isolation and loneliness with potentially severe mental and physical health consequences.

The effects of loneliness

Everyone at one point or another experiences' loneliness, and like all feelings, its causes are unnumbered. You could spiral into a vortex of loneliness from anything: stress, loss of a loved one, a tragic event, or feeling isolated from friends and family. 

Feeling alone doesn’t equate to loneliness. It’s important to understand that distinction. You should always separate those two states of mind because alone time is a good thing. It’s a great thing.

How does isolation occur?

The anonymity of modern, urban living gives rise to much loneliness, espe­cially where people live in high-rise housing without community facilities. People in rural areas are also prone to isolation, as meeting places are few and public transport is limited.

Women seem to be more at risk than men, as they are more likely to be tied to the home, caring for children, with little access to social outlets.

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Imagine what it might be like to be an animal such as a squirrel. A squirrel doesn’t have worries about the dynamics of their workplace, about debt or about their relationships. Squirrels don’t have their head in the clouds daydreaming about what might be… They don’t have regrets, and they don’t have delusions.

Instead, a squirrel simply experiences the world as it is. Hyperreal across all the senses, squirrels simply take in the world around them as it happens and react on a dime.

This is something that a lot of people aspire to, as they believe that it will make them happier and help them to enjoy the world around them more. But just as important and just as valuable is the incredible benefit that this type of presence and mindfulness has in terms of athletics.

Bruce Lee and ‘No Mind’

An aspiration for many martial artists, including the legendary Bruce Lee, is to reach a state known as ‘no-mind. No-mind effectively means that you are reacting without thought, purely on instinct. Instead of experiencing your surroundings, thinking about how best to respond and then reacting; you instead react without pause or consideration.

In martial arts, this state of no mind is accomplished through rigorous training. By simply repeating the same block over and over again, you eventually reach a point where your arm moves to block without any need for you to consciously command it to do so. Likewise, by repeating the same punch over and over, martial artists can reach the point where they’re able to punch perfectly.

At this point, they have strengthened the neural pathways required to deliver the perfect technique, and thus it reaches the point where it is really second nature. Many athletes in other sports achieve similar performance when they are completely engaged with what they are doing, and this is often called a ‘flow state’.

As you might imagine, then, the practice of mindfulness will only enhance your skill as a combatant and as an athlete. And in fact, there is a similar term used within the context of CBT: ‘choiceless awareness’.

Being Aware of Your Body

Just as mindfulness and meditation can help you to improve your physicality, so to can being more physical help you to be more mindful. This is because focusing on our bodies will take focus away from our monologue. Simply try being aware of your distribution of weight, of your breathing, of your temperature – and you’ll find that instantly you become far more ‘present’ and much closer to mindfulness and choiceless awareness.

Mindfulness is the practice of ‘getting out of your own head’ and of simply being rather than constantly thinking, worrying and stressing. While mindfulness is a common part of many meditative practices, it is also an integral part of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). More specifically, mindfulness is used for ‘cognitive restructuring’ which is an aspect of CBT concerned with the ‘reprogramming’ of thoughts.

How Cognitive Restructuring Works

The idea behind cognitive restructuring is to deconstruct a patient’s beliefs, thought patterns and feelings regarding certain matters in a bid to improve mental health.

For instance, then, cognitive restructuring is often used to help combat phobias. When someone suffers from a phobia, often they will find themselves having illogical thoughts regarding that trigger. If you’re deathly afraid of heights, then, you might find yourself worrying that you’ll fall off – or even worrying that you’ll feel compelled to jump.

Of course, in most cases, neither of these things are going to happen. Likewise, we have no reason to be afraid of spiders – even if we do find ourselves worrying that they might ‘jump into our mouths’.

Cognitive behavioural therapy restructures these thoughts and beliefs and replaces them with healthier ones.

The Steps

The first step in cognitive restructuring is to assess the nature of your thoughts and to identify the specific damaging ruminations that are leading to your health problems.

This is where mindfulness comes in as an incredibly powerful tool: simply sit quietly and allow yourself to experience your thoughts as they occur, taking note of what they are and letting them drift by ‘like clouds’.

Likewise, you might assess the kinds of thoughts you often find yourself having when you are in situations that make you phobic.

From there, you can then begin the process of cognitive restructuring. You do this first by using ‘thought challenging’, wherein you simply ask yourself how likely your beliefs are to be accurate. Are you really going to fall if there are railings to keep you safe?

A more advanced strategy is ‘hypothesis testing’. Here, you simply test your belief through exposure to your fear. If you’re afraid of speaking in public because you think people will laugh, try purposefully allowing yourself to stutter while speaking to a large audience and see what happens.

Finally, use more mindfulness as you go about your day to simply remind yourself of your new beliefs and to keep your heart rate low and your mind calm.

As much as many of us choose to overlook it, there is a lot of wrong with the way most of us currently live our lives. We evolved in an environment completely foreign to the world we live in now and adapted to gain abilities and traits that in many ways leave us unsuited for our current environment.

We sit in chairs all day long gaining weight, we eat processed foods, and we face constant stresses from work, from our relationships and from our finances.

What’s more, we are constantly in demand and constantly ‘plugged in’ and ‘stressed out.

Our phones are always ringing, texts are always coming in, we get a new e-mail every two minutes… And even when most of us aren’t working or being bothered, we have a near addiction to technology that means we’re still unable to really decompress.

Is it any wonder that mental health problems are so rife?

Using Mindfulness to Escape Modern Stress

This is probably a big part of the reason that mindfulness is so popular right now. Mindfulness simply means directing attention purposefully.

Sometimes this will mean focusing on our thoughts (in an objective and non-judgemental way) but in other cases, it will mean simply being more present and focusing on our breathing and our environments.

Either way, the idea of mindfulness is to enjoy the calmness and to stop the incessant chatter of our minds. When you are completely engaged with the world around you, or when you decide to disengage with your thoughts, it provides you with relief from stress and from fear – and instead allows you to simply relax and recover.

Mindfulness for Concentration

What’s more, practising mindfulness is also the perfect tool for improving concentration. Mindfulness forces you to develop a ‘mental discipline’ that is sorely lacking for many of us today. Too often, most of us have 20 things vying for our attention. While we have allegedly become better at multitasking as a result, we’ve also become much worse at focusing on one thing for extended periods. This makes it harder for us to read a large passage of text for instance, or to work without feeling the need to continuously check Facebook.

Again, mindfulness is the perfect tonic. Here, you are tasked with focusing on your environment, your thoughts or your feelings for an extended period of time. And as such, you improve your own focus and mental discipline.

So why don’t more people practice it?

The main problem for most of us is that it’s really rather daunting, obtuse and complicated. Meditation is ultimately about reaching enlightenment and inner peace, right? Sounds a bit heavy for a Friday evening!

The real question for many people then is where to start.

This article will provide you with a good starting point and help you with your first meditative experience. From there, you should feel a little more confident to try it again in future…

Some Tips to Begin With

The first tip is to set yourself a timer for 10 minutes. 10 minutes is a short enough amount of time that most of us will be able to fit it into our busy schedules and by setting an alarm you prevent yourself from having to keep checking the clock to see how much longer you have – this is not conducive to meditation as you might imagine.

The next tip is to sit comfortably in a chair or cross-legged. You don’t want to lie down for fear of falling asleep, but you should be comfortable.

Focus

The next thing you’re going to do is to focus. This can mean focusing on your breath or repeating a mantra (a word of your choice) over and over. This will be your ‘anchor’ and you will come back to this whenever your mind starts to wander.

If you struggle with these anchors, another option is to watch a flame. Lighting a candle and watching it can be a surprisingly effective form of meditation.

Just ‘Be’

Now just ‘be’ for 10 minutes. The mistake many people make here is to try and force themselves to have a ‘still mind’ devoid of thoughts. This is almost impossible for a beginner and will lead to nothing but stress.

Instead, we’ll take the mindfulness approach of simply letting the mind wander.

When it does, make a note of it and simply focus back on your anchor. This removes the stress and gives you a safe environment in which to practice directing your attention inwards. The same goes for itching and coughing – just let it happen and then return.

Try to repeat this three times a week for a couple of months and see what happens… You’ll be glad you did!

Mindfulness: An Explanation

Boiled down to its essence, mindfulness is the observation of one’s own thoughts and emotions. In other words, it means stepping back and then simply being aware of what you’re feeling, what you’re thinking and what you are experiencing. This can then in turn be used to help treat a wide range of different psychological problems and to generally improve your psychological health.

The reason for this is that it brings more attention to the way that we handle various different events and to how our thoughts and emotions normally control us. This then in turn allows us to anticipate them, to deal with them, and ultimately to prevent them.

For instance, someone who deals with social anxiety will likely have a number of ruminations that contribute to their symptoms. These might include worries that they will ‘make a fool of themselves, that they will be laughed at, that they will stammer…

Many of these thoughts are likely to be inaccurate, but it is only by being aware of them that it’s possible to manipulate them, to rise above them or to suppress them entirely.

Uses of Mindfulness

When used to combat such conditions as social anxiety, mindfulness can be seen as a clinical tool. Specifically, it is an important part of ‘CBT’ or ‘Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. This is a psychotherapeutic approach that involves the practice of essentially replacing and reprogramming underlying thoughts, beliefs and ruminations.

At the same time, though, mindfulness has also long been a part of other meditative practices. Here, the goal can often be somewhat different. In this case, the objective is to be more aware of the present moment in terms of the sensations, the sounds and the emotions. By practising this, they can eventually become more ‘present’ at the moment and better able to react to what’s going on around them without judgement and without the constant ‘brain chatter that so many of us experience.

Mindfulness is a broad tool that too is used in a number of different ways. In almost every scenario, though, the true end goal is to be aware of the present moment and to find an inner calm that often eludes us.

 Most of us are submis­sive at times, depending on the behaviour of other people, or the particular circumstances in which we find ourselves.

We accept we cannot always have our own way, and make a judgement to be passive. However, some people continually submit to others, and refuse to stand up for themselves. They often feel they are being taken advantage of, but do little to alter the way they behave, thereby allowing this cycle of submissiveness to continue.

Women have tradition­ally been seen as being prone to submissive behaviour, both in their personal and professional lives, allowing themselves to be constantly dominated by family members and/or business colleagues.

Individuals with eating disorders (anorexia nervosa) and bulimia nervosa are also consistent with significantly higher levels of submissive behaviour, which has been observed within this population and related to the severity of their symptoms. 

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It’s great to set the bar high, to go after challenges and stretch yourself. But you can’t expect to win at everything all the time. Sit back for a minute and consider the benefits of embracing imperfection.

1.    You’ll be happier

Perfectionists carry a LOT of emotional baggage from trying to look as though their entire world is 110% wonderful all the time. They’re at a higher risk of depression and anxiety, and hardly ever content with what they have.

Embrace the messy, flawed parts of your life and yourself, and you’ll be happier and way less stressed.

2.    You won’t fear failure so much

Accepting imperfection means failure shrinks back down to being just another aspect of life. Perfectionists tend to take failure personally. It becomes a catastrophe and something that defines their sense of self. But accepting that to make mistakes is human means you see failure as an opportunity to learn, make the necessary changes, and move on.

3.    Embracing imperfection makes you a nicer person

If you’re comfortable with imperfection, you won’t be so quick to criticize and judge others. And that will make you a much nicer friend, colleague, and family member. You’ll be less likely to blow your fuse at trivial things, you’ll cut people slacker, and relationships will be calmer and more rewarding.

4.    Your self-esteem will grow

People who accept their flaws and quirks and are less likely to be hard on themselves when they make a mistake. Perfectionists are usually their own harshest critics; their self-esteem is fragile and easily crushed. Acknowledgement of your humanity means you’re less likely to feel guilty or ashamed when you make a mistake or don’t reach your goals as soon as you might have liked.

5.    You will inspire others

Imperfection is the keynote of being a human. It's how we learn and progress and connects us. That's okay, and gracefully accepting the ebbs and flows of life will make you someone peoples look up to and admire. Your kids will see that you value them more than that vase they broke. It's more important to spend time with them instead of asking if they've done their chores.

They’ll Give You Advice

As you work towards achieving your goals, chances are your mentor will have some advice for you. And when selecting a mentor, you should choose one who has been on a similar journey as you for this reason!

When you come across something that you aren’t quite sure how to handle, don’t be afraid to contact your mentor as they can help you overcome all sorts of obstacles.

They’ll Encourage You

Besides just guiding you on your journey, a good mentor will also encourage you every step of the way.

And encouragement, especially on the days you may not be feeling so great about your journey, is essential when it comes to staying on your path! A good mentor will know the right methods to encourage you and to keep you on task!

They Will Give You Feedback

Another great thing about mentors is that they will also give you feedback on how you are doing. This can be helpful because it can be very difficult to judge yourself or the things that you are doing.

A good mentor will also help hold you accountable and let you know when they think you are doing something that isn’t great for you or your journey.

They Will Help You Network

A good mentor probably mentors a few different people, and while this may have you thinking this is a bad thing, this isn’t true at all. If you get along really well with a mentor, then chances are you will get along with the other people he or she is mentoring, and this can expand your social circle.

Additionally, your mentor may have some contacts in your field that could help you with everything from finding a job to a new house or even just telling you where you should have dinner!

There are so many reasons that you should have a mentor in your life. But some main benefits of having a mentor are that they can guide you through your journey, encourage you to stay on it, and give you feedback when you may be getting a little lost.

A mentor will also provide invaluable experience when it comes to expanding your network.

For example, when healthy adults view nature scenes rich in vegetation, areas of the brain associated with emotional stability, empathy, and love are more active.

These same pathways are activated when a person looks at pictures of a loved one … These findings support previous investigations showing that nature scenes can enhance brain-wave activity in ways that are similar to the benefits of meditation.”

According to the biophilia hypothesis, attempts to explain the associations between increased rates of mental illness among individuals who live in cities. People who live in or close to natural settings have better mental health.

A longitudinal study from over 5,000 households, found that over a five-year period, individuals who had moved to greener areas displayed improved mental well-being for at least a three-year period. In fact, those who had moved to cities reported a decline in their mental well-being,

But you don’t have to pack up and move to the countryside to experience some of nature’s benefits — you could just take a long walk in nature. 

Learn more

According to the American Psychiatric Association, this stigma can stem from misconstrued stereotypes and prejudices that indicate that people with mental illness are dangerous or unpredictable.

This type of public shame can lead to self-stigma, making the individual feel guilty of their illness and creating more extensive discrimination in society.

Nearly 1 in 5 American adults live with a mental illness, and an estimated 19 million Americans experience a major depressive episode each year. With such prevalence, why the stigma?

“A common misconception is that mental health is all or nothing. For example, there are various diagnoses within mental health. I think the blame leads people to consider that mental health is more of the severely mentally ill, like those who are psychotic or schizophrenic,” said Latasha Ellis, a psychotherapist at Iredell Psychiatry.

https://www.iredellhealth.org/news/releases/mental-health-awareness-squashing-the-stigma/

“In all actuality, a lot of people struggle with less challenging situations, but those characters may still fall under the umbrella of mental illness.

The most common mental illnesses are depression and anxiety — something that multiple individuals have faced.

The mental health stigma may prevent individuals with a mental illness from seeking treatment to avoid being incorrectly labelled as “crazy” or “dangerous.” In addition, this stigma may create a lack of understanding from family, colleagues, or others.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, men with mental illnesses are less likely to have received mental health treatment than women. However, men are more likely to die by suicide than women.

Why is this?

Women are typically more open and emotional. Men may not share readily because society has groomed males to “man up” and not talk about or share their feelings. But anyone can experience mental health concerns,” said Ellis.

This added societal pressure on men directly influences the mental health stigma.

According to the APA, more than half of people with mental illness do not receive help for their disorders. In addition, many avoid seeking treatment due to concerns about being treated differently in society.

Especially after the previous year, consumed with the unprecedented pandemic, many have come to know depression and anxiety all too well. Living with fear, staying at home, and abstaining from all social interaction is enough to make anyone anxious or depressed.

However, the pandemic was not all bad for mental health.

“The pandemic has brought more awareness to mental health because a larger amount of people are talking about it. Also, the COVID-19 pandemic made mental health a little more acceptable in conversation because it brought forth a lot of anxiety in many of us.

How can I help stop the stigma?

The past year has demonstrated how talking openly about mental health, even sharing it on social media, can help reduce the stigma of mental illness.

“It’s essential for everyone to be open about their mental health because it helps kill the stigma. When more people are talking about it, and awareness is growing, those struggling secretly or privately are more comfortable coming forward and getting the help they need.

If you know someone who has a mental illness, it’s crucial to be supportive and validate what they are experiencing to be real and true to them. You should also minimize judgment and encourage the individual to seek the help they need.

Frequently, the need for help can be temporary; it does not have to be a permanent change in their life. Therefore, the sooner one seeks help, the better.

https://mentalhealthtraining.info/

Have you started finding it difficult to remember certain things? Does your memory seem to be failing you? If this sounds familiar, then it's time to boost your memory using these four easy hacks.

1. Do Memory Task

It may sound a bit strange, but your memory is like a muscle, and the best way to make it stronger is by working it! Numerous phone apps on the market can help you practice your memory, so download one and make a commitment to spend some time on it each day. Daily activity is key to boosting your memory. 

2. Stop Eating Sugar

Sugar can have a huge effect on your memory capabilities, so it's time to put down the sweets and eat something healthy instead! Switch out all of your sugary snacks for nuts, or veggies, and hummus. It's also time to check the sugar content of your morning coffee or tea. You'll be surprised at just how many things in your life contain added sugar that can negatively affect your memory.

3. Exercise

As weird as it sounds, exercise can go a long way towards boosting your memory. This is because when you exercise, your blood delivers the brain the oxygen it needs to boost its memory capabilities. For best results, you should try to be physically active each day. Try to work out for at least half an hour, doing an activity that raises your heart rate and keeps it elevated for the duration of the activity. 

4. Repeat Things To Yourself

If you are really struggling with your memory, it may be time to engage in the "practice tactic." This tactic means you should repeat any information you wish to remember frequently and out loud to yourself. You can also try creating acronyms or motions to go with the words to help you recall them better in the future. Just know that what works for one person may not work for you, so it may take some time for you to discover the best tactic to help you remember!

Losing your memory is a very scary thought which most people tend to face as they age. But luckily, using the above hacks, you can work to boost your memory so that you don't have to worry about forgetting something important. And before you know it, you may have the best memory on the block!